Becoming a Star

I turned the corner and saw the motel. There it was, as he'd said it would be, and my life was about to change irrevocably. I could never go back after I entered room sixteen. I paused and stood on the curb, swallowing hard, my emotions a crazed mixture of fear, anger, strange excitement, and I was fighting tears. Finally I steeled myself to move forward. I'd expected it to be seedy, to have drug addicts and prostitutes hanging around it. Instead it was nice, painted a bright pink with white trim, a long row of rooms in an L-shape around a beautiful pool, a typical modest beach motel. There were children playing in the pool, their parents lazing in lounge chairs, enjoying the sun and laughing as they all relaxed enjoying what was probably a much needed vacation. I could see and hear the waves of the beach through a fenced gate at the end of the motel and I longed to be out there with my surfboard, the board I'd sold two months ago.

But I couldn't. I was starving, I'd been evicted from the efficiency I'd been renting, and I'd been fired from my job because I couldn't make the required quota of telephone sales daily. Everything I owned other than the clothes on my back was stashed in a locker at the bus station. This was my last hope, an 'opportunity' offered by a slick guy who had seen my desperation when I applied for a job in a bar. The bartender there couldn't offer me a job but Mr. Slick had offered to make me a star, a porn star. All I'd have to do is masturbate on camera. I'd nearly smashed my fist in his mouth and he knew it but he'd still offered me a chance, told me to be at room sixteen at two thirty on Thursday if I decided I'd like to make fifteen hundred dollars, maybe a lot more if I turned out to be good.

I wasn't sure about what constituted good for porn but somehow I guessed it had something to do with how I looked naked. I hadn't even shown this guy my dick. In fact, he'd made his offer based on what he did see, a blond surfer dude in a red tee shirt and blue jeans, wearing running shoes and carrying the tennis racket I was trying to sell. It was the last thing of any real value I owned. He'd just smiled at me and said 'maybe I'll see you later kid'. I'd watched him walk away, balding, a little overweight, wearing an expensive dark blue suit. I wanted to cry right there in the bar. So it had come to this.

I was the bright star of my high school, the quarterback of the football team, a first rate pitcher on the baseball team, local tennis ace, star of all the school musicals and plays, the golden boy. Everyone at home had been certain I'd make it in Hollywood. I'd come to this town to become a star and I was too proud to go home with my tail between my legs, not without taking every possible opportunity I could get.

In the bar I'd had no luck with getting a job but after Mr. Slick left, the bartender had offered to buy the racket. I walked with him into his back office to collect the money and he'd offered me twenty dollars for the racket, fifty if I'd let him suck my dick. I sold him the racket but now, standing on the curb, I wished I'd let him suck my dick. The extra money might have held me over long enough to avoid this humiliation.

So I walked to room sixteen and knocked on the door. The door opened and a man peered at me through the narrow opening allowed by the chain lock. It was a different guy, he seemed younger and he had all of his hair, a wavy long dark brown mass that made him look a little wild, like maybe he was a hippie from the sixties that had never adjusted to the passage of time.

"Can I help you?"

"I was told to be here at two thirty today."

"Really? Who told you that?"

"A balding guy wearing a navy blue suit three days ago at Sal's Bar."

"What's he look like, Frank?"

It was the voice of the man I'd met in the bar, muffled and suspicious.

"Oh, he's a real stud, Homer, blond, six feet, and tan with muscles everywhere, looks like he's eighteen with blue eyes that say fuck me."

"That's him, let him in."

The door closed and I heard the chain slide, then the door opened and I saw the bed and the cameras on tripods.

"Well, come on in," Frank hissed. "We don't need unnecessary attention."

He grabbed my arm and pulled me into the room, quickly closing the door and replacing the chain lock.

Homer was wearing a white polo shirt and the ugliest pair of plaid shorts I'd ever seen in my life. He was barefoot and adjusting a camera and instantly I knew these two guys were not novices. There were two cameras on tripods and four big lights on stands, along with several light reflection and diffuser panels. Other cameras and photographic equipment were on the floor. I'd auditioned for enough parts to know these two had some expensive equipment and had it set up to make a first rate porn flick.

Frank was wearing a loud blue flowered Hawaiian shirt and a loose pair of skimpy nylon shorts that left nothing to the imagination. Homer was a bit chunky but Frank looked to be in good shape, fairly attractive if you could get beyond the hair that looked like he'd put his finger in a light socket. Homer seemed to know what he was doing but it was soon clear that Frank was the expert and he was the director here, not Homer. Still Homer was the more aggressive of the two and acted like he was the one in charge. I wondered why Frank let him act like such a horse's ass when Homer clearly wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer. Frank was running this show and probably anything else that involved the two of them.

"So you ready for this, uh, uh, what's your name, kid?" Homer asked.

I started to speak and Frank interrupted me quickly.

"We pay cash, kid, and we're not really Frank and Homer. Just pick a name, we prefer it that way. It can save you a lot of grief later if the cops get involved. You don't know us, we don't know you."

I nearly shit in my pants. What the hell were they going to be doing in here, making a snuff film? I turned to leave and Frank grabbed my arm. He grinned.

"Come on, kid. Don't be scared. We've made hundreds of these porn flicks and never got busted yet but you can never tell when some granny by the pool is going to get nosey and call the cops. You're safe with us, trust me."

I looked into his eyes and he seemed honest, sincere. I mean, as honest and sincere as two guys making fuck films in a beachside motel could possibly be. I chuckled at how ridiculous this whole thing was beginning to appear.

"See, it's not so bad now, is it? So what was that name again? You look like a Brad."

"Aren't you the clever one?" I laughed. "Brad it is."

We all laughed. My name is David but the guy had given me some good advice. If my ass was going to be filmed for the world to see, Brad was a better name. If somehow the porno showed up in Hazlehurst then maybe the name Brad would shield me. Shit. I was kidding myself. Everyone there had known me since birth and I'd made the local sports page dozens of times; I'd been on half the pages of my senior yearbook. The only saving grace I could think of was that there were no porn theaters in Hazlehurst, hell, you couldn't by a fucking Penthouse in that town. The local churches ran the place like it was the sanctified modern Garden of Eden and they were going to slaughter any snakes that showed up.

"Okay, Brad, we gotta get you ready. Here."

Homer handed me two enema bottles.

"Go in the bathroom and use both those enema bottles and then take a shower. There's a gym suit for you to put on when you're ready to come out."

I took the enema bottles and just looked at them, horrified.

Homer grinned.

"You don't drink those, kid. You squirt one up your ass; wait ten minutes, and shit. Then squirt the second one up your ass and shit again. When you do it twice your ass is as clean as your mouth. Then take a shower to get clean."

"All this just to jack off in front of a camera? What are you going to do, put the camera up my ass?"

They both snickered.

"No, sugar butt, Jamie's gonna be here in about an hour and you two are going to fuck."

"WHAT? Nobody said anything about me doing this with another guy! I thought it was just going to be me jacking off!"

"Yeah, well, you'll be playing with your dick for sure but then you and Jamie are going to have a little fun. Guys like to see ass rimming in these movies; it's one of the big sellers. Jamie's not gonna eat your ass out if it smells like shit. I mean, are you gonna lick Jamie's ass if it's got shit stuck to it?"

"I'm not licking anyone's ass no matter how clean it is, fuck wad!"

I felt sick and nearly fainted. Frank took my arm and sat me on the bed.

"This is your first time doing anything like this, isn't it?"

I just nodded my head, dumb with shock.

"Look, kid, there's a first time for all of us. You look like a nice guy. Me and Homer here, we just make gay fuck flicks and we're really not bad people. No drugs, no violence, no funny stuff. We're just a couple of queers from the hippie generation. We're not your average Sunday school teacher types but we're not a pair of psychos either; just two guys that make porno movies."

It was all too much for me. I'd never done anything sexual with another guy in my whole life. It had taken every ounce of my courage to come here to masturbate in front of a camera; the idea of another man in the bed was revolting. I imagined this Jamie as looking like Frank or Homer, or worse and it was more than I could handle. Me fucking him, me touching him, was out of the question and there was no way in hell he was going to lay a finger me. I decided to leave and stood up. Maybe I could hold off another day or so, possibly I could get a job at a fast food place. I'd worked at Wendy's back in Hazlehurst. Although I'd been turned down at every place I'd applied so far that didn't mean something wouldn't eventually open up. There's a big turnover in those fast food places.

Homer stood in front of the door, blocking me.

"Look, kid, I didn't tell you about Jamie because I didn't know at the time. I ran into him yesterday and he asked me if he could make a movie with us. He needs the money and he's done a few for us before. He's a pro at it."

"Really?" I snarled. "I'll bet this Jamie is getting a hell of a lot more money than I'm getting."

"Yeah, well, he's got experience."

I snorted. "How much goddamn experience have you got to have to lick somebody's asshole?"

"Come on, kid. You're the best looking thing I've seen in a couple of years, a genuine frat boy type, a Ken."

"What the fuck is a Ken?"

Frank laughed.

"You know, like Barbie and Ken. You ain't never heard of Barbie and Ken?"

I burst out laughing. This was getting more bizarre by the minute.

"Please kid, I know you need the money and this really ain't such bad work. Porn stars sometimes even break into the big time, television, even movies."

Now that was really funny.

"Oh, yeah? Tell me one person who's made a real good movie or is on television that started out licking ass."

Frank grinned at me.

"Joan Crawford, Marilyn Monroe, James Dean, Montgomery Clift, Sal Mineo, lots of 'em."

"Sounds like horseshit to me. I've never heard of a goddamn one of those people and I'll bet not a fucking one of them ever put their tongue in somebody's asshole."

"You've never heard of MARILYN MONROE? Kid, where the fuck are you from, Bumfuck, Egypt?"

"Okay, I've heard of her. Never seen any of her movies, don't know shit about her but I've heard the name. The rest of them, no; I don't know 'em from Adam. How long ago was that, a hundred years ago? What'd they do, make silent movies, black and white shit nobody watches anymore?"

"Look, kid, since I didn't tell you about Jamie I'll give you a little more money. What about a hundred more?"

"Nothing doing, Homer, I'm not licking this Jamie's asshole no matter how clean you say it's going to be for no fucking hundred dollars. Make it another fifteen hundred and I'll consider it if he's not some disgusting pervert. And I'll want more if he's making more than me. I'm not getting one cent less than he is if I've gotta kiss his ass."

Frank and Homer looked at each other. They seemed to be communicating with their eyes and I could tell Frank wanted it to happen. Finally Homer spoke.

"Okay, kid, you've got it. But for three thousand dollars you're going to eat his ass out, fuck him, suck his dick, and eat his cum. He's going to do the same to you. You got that?"

Even as repulsed as I was by the idea, three thousand dollars could see me through several months. And I felt like I had the upper hand for the first time in what seemed like forever. I could see it in both their eyes, particularly Frank's; these two horny bastards were just dying to see me bust a nut.

"Okay, you've got it. But you're going to count out both Jamie's and my cash and put it on that dresser there up front and this Jamie's not going to get a goddamn cent more than I'm getting or the deal is off."

Frank grinned at Homer who looked aggravated.

"Okay, you little shit, thirty five hundred it is but you better shoot a decent load of cum out of that dick of yours or you can forget the extra five hundred. I'm not paying for a couple of little drops from you. Jamie shoots so much cum you could fucking drown in it."

I was right. This Jamie was getting thirty FIVE hundred dollars. Fuck these two faggots. I shrugged my shoulders and laughed.

"Okay, I'll do it but what about Jamie? Is he going to do the enemas here, too?"

"Sure."

"He'd better. I'm not touching his ass if he doesn't."

I grabbed the two bottles off the bed and stormed into the bathroom, slamming the door and locking it. I stripped naked and read the enema bottle instructions. Great, I needed to lie on my side and stick it in. That meant I was going to have to lie on the goddamn floor of the bathroom to do it because I sure as hell was not going to do it in front of the two over the hill hippies out there. Frank looked like he was ready to jump my bones any second now. I might have to do this Jamie person but I was not interested in being pawed by that depraved lecher.

That brought another sickening thought to mind. What was this Jamie going to look like? They said he'd made several movies for them. Maybe he was old, too. I'd only seen a couple of porno flicks in my life and I didn't really like either one of them. In one the lighting was too dark, the camera shook, and the girl was ugly as hell. You could barely make out the guy's face. The most you saw of him was his ass as he stuck his cock in her pussy. In the other one, it was just a guy jacking off and it didn't interest me. I quit watching before the guy even blew his load.

I pushed the tip of the bottle into my asshole. It didn't exactly hurt but it wasn't fun either. As instructed, I laid on the floor holding it in for ten minutes. I timed it with my cheap watch, the one with the plastic band I'd bought after I sold the good watch my grandmother had given me for Christmas. By the time ten minutes were up my insides were churning and it was all I could do to make it to the toilet. I only had to unclench my asshole and the shit poured out, splashing my ass. I shit until I thought I'd die, like it was the worst case of diarrhea I'd ever had.

Then I had to do it again. I got down on the floor again and inserted the tip. It was much easier the second time and when I shit the second time it was mostly clear water, just a couple of flecks of shit. That didn't do a lot for my psyche, thinking about Jamie's asshole. Maybe we both needed to do it a third time. I shrugged and stepped into the shower. Even if I really wasn't spotless inside I sure as hell felt empty. I showered and washed myself as clean as possible, paying special attention to my dick and ass.

I stepped out of the shower and saw the gym uniform hanging on the back of the door. Man, what a useless piece of shit that outfit was. The shirt was some cheap mesh tee shirt, the bottom half cut off with ragged threads hanging. The white shorts barely covered my ass and I had to adjust my package carefully to keep my nuts and dick from hanging out the front. I looked in the mirror and shuddered. I looked like one of those male hookers I'd seen on the streets here in the city of dreams. I swallowed hard and opened the bathroom door.

"Holy bat mobile, kid, you look like Adonis. I want to drop to my knees and suck your dick right now," Frank teased.

"Who the fuck is Adonis? Another guy that's gonna show up to be in this thing?"

"Kid, where did you go to school? Better yet, did you ever even go to school?"

I nearly croaked trying to keep from laughing at the expressions on Homer and Frank's faces. Of course I knew who Adonis was, just like I'd known who all the movie stars were, and Barbie and Ken, but I just wanted to yank their chain. I also knew the stars they had named had probably never done any porn. I just wanted those two morons to think I was stupid because it gave me an advantage over them.

"So when does this Jamie show up? What now?"

"He's due to show up any minute now. Why don't we get started with you? Go over and get on the bed. Sit with your back against the headboard and your legs crossed."

I did as he instructed.

"Now I'm going to ask you some questions and give you some instructions. I can edit the instructions out later so all that's in the movie is your acting."

"This is acting, huh? Licking ass and shooting big loads of cum. Goddamn, do you think I'm gonna win an Oscar this year?"

I snorted but Frank and Homer seemed totally oblivious to my sarcasm.

"Who knows, kid? Some guys have been known to win Best Actor with their first porn movie."

I was dumbfounded.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me! They actually give awards for porn movies?"

They both laughed.

"Sure, Brad, what do you think we are? We're a professional industry and we give out awards for our movies just like the Oscars. They're called the GayVN awards and they've been giving them out for years now."

It just got more and more bizarre by the minute. There was a knock on the door.

"That must be Jamie. Be careful, Frank. There are a lot of people at the pool now."

Frank opened the door cautiously.

"Jamie, come on in!"

He undid the chain lock and in walked a handsome guy, maybe thirty, about six feet tall, wearing jeans and a work shirt with brown hair and blue eyes. The blue of his eyes was mesmerizing, a deep rich blue that was almost purple, and a color I recognized as being like my sister's contacts. He smiled at me and winked. Unless I missed my guess this guy was no more a queer than I was. He looked like an outdoor type and was definitely an athlete from the way he walked and carried himself.

"So you're the guy Frank and Homer have been raving about. You're even more handsome than they described. This is going to be a fun afternoon," Jamie grinned.

His voice was deep, like Sean Connery, a deep booming voice that reverberated around the entire room. It made him seem more masculine and sexy. That was fast, I thought, only here for thirty minutes and already I'd decided another man was sexy. What next, turn queer in one afternoon? Oh, yeah. We were going to fuck so anything was possible. It disgusted me.

Frank handed Jamie two enema bottles.

"Cash first, guys. You know how this works. You don't see my cock until I see the cash."

Homer got a little huffy but he pulled an attaché case from beneath the bed. He was careful to angle it so none of the rest of us could see him open it. He closed it and had a wad of bills in his hand. Jamie and I watched as he counted out thirty five hundred for each of us in hundred dollar bills.

"Wow. I thought you told me the new guy had never done porn before!"

"I haven't," I replied directly to Jamie.