Bee's Story, My Story Ch. 16

I changed into more comfortable clothes. Pajama pants, a normal fitting tee and a sports bra, which feels so conservative to me at this point. My mom and I watched some TV and talked about food we'd like to get for our visit, making a grocery list, while my brother helped my dad take Christmas decorations down from the attic for us to set up tomorrow. It was nice to know that they waited for us. I remember feeling bad the first year I went home for the holidays and found that they had all waited for me to decorate with them... especially since I didn't come home until like the 23rd.

They had both worked a full day today, so they went to bed before we did, and I started to lament that I hadn't brought any of my consoles with me. We watched some YouTube for a while in silence, before I could feel my boobs getting a little sore. I quietly removed the sports bra from under my shirt, waiting to see how long it would take for him to notice. Pretty much until the next ad. I caught him glancing over at me, and when our eyes locked, I coyly flashed him, raising the shirt over my boobs to give him a quick look before covering them back up.

"Are you ready for help?" He asked quietly.

I nodded. "Mhmm." I pouted my lower lip slightly while gently supporting my boobs in my hands to let him know they were achingly full.

He paused the video, and looked up at the ceiling for a second, and I realized he was checking for sound, to make sure our parents were asleep. After a moment, he looked back at me. "Here?" He asked.

I felt a small tingle between my legs at the idea of doing this in the middle of the living room, just out in the open. But it was a little too much for me. I shook my head. "Let's go to my room." I whispered.

We went upstairs, and I turned on my tv just so it wouldn't be so quiet. I quickly shucked my shirt, and sat up against my pillows and headboard, and he got in position. I rolled my nipples between my fingers for a few seconds until they were hard enough, and then let him have his fill. He behaved and did his best not to do anything to get me even more turned on than I was already going to get, and I kept catching myself holding my breath, trying to be completely silent because I was so paranoid we'd be heard. It was uncomfortable, I was having trouble relaxing and so he was having trouble getting milk from me. I felt myself shaking from nerves and frustration over the whole thing, and so I gently eased him from my breast.

"I know you're probably thirsty, but I don't think I can do this right now, I'm sorry..." I put my top back on and he sat up and gave me a little space.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, I just... I think-... maybe we can do it first thing in the morning? If that's alright with you?" I don't know why I was being so... like, afraid he wouldn't be understanding.

"Of course! Whatever you need, Bee. Just let me know, text me or something if you need help and I'll be there." He started to get up, and I reached for his hand.

"Thank you." I pulled him to me and leaned into his hip. "You're so good to me, even when I'm being weird."

He put his hand on the back of my head. "Bee......you're always being weird. You're weird." I huffed through my nose and shoved him gently with my forehead.

"Go to bed, you little cretin."

He laughed, "Okay, first of all it's 'kree-tin'. If you're going to insult me, do it properly. Secondly, I love you, titty monster."

I snorted. Not just at how quickly he made that reference, but I hadn't heard him call me that since... before he hit puberty. He used to use it as an insult when I annoyed him because he knew I was self conscious about how big my boobs were at the time. I said I loved him and he made his way out of my room. I could hear him watching tv downstairs, so I picked out my clothes for tomorrow, checked on some Christmas orders I was waiting on, and started typing this up. I think I'll milk a little bit in the bathroom when I go brush my teeth, just so I don't wake up painfully engorged.

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Thursday, December 19th 2019

I was able to relax enough to relieve some pressure before bed last night. And first thing this morning, after freshening up a bit, I did end up texting him to come help me. Our parents were awake downstairs, but they usually let us sleep in, and he was quiet enough to not give away that either of us were awake. I guess because of the noise in the kitchen downstairs it was easier for me to relax, knowing where they were, and so he was able to drain me. I even had a small orgasm halfway through when I had let my guard down. I inhaled sharply and held my breath, holding his head to my breast as I shook briefly, before coming down from it.

When we were done, he went and changed and I took a quick shower. When we came downstairs together, our mom had made a big breakfast of pancakes and bacon and eggs, with accommodations for me of course. I was starving, but as my brother sat across from me and she put a glass of milk on the table in front of him, he made a face indicating he was already pretty full. I felt a warm rush of pride at the thought, but then I felt bad as he forced himself to eat a decent amount of food. He avoided the milk though.

We decorated and set up the Christmas tree, and at some point gifts populated under it. I went out with my mom to get groceries, and Dad kept texting me with last minute things to pick up. I think he was purposefully trying to be annoying.

[we need more bacon]

[okay]

[and (brother) wants cookie dough]

[alright]

[i want the kind with pecans] [you know the one]

[i do]

[get those]

[k]

[and popcorn]

[DAD] [STOP]

[and you can leave the attitude at the store]

[😡]

[remember when you used to try pouting at me like that when I wouldn't let you spend the night with your friends?]

I left him on read with that last part. My mom and I dropped off the groceries and then we went out shopping, came home and rented a couple of movies. The last of which I remember was A Simple Favor. I was enjoying it at first...

I don't know if any of you have seen the movie, or read the book it's based on, but at one point, Anna Kendrick's character confesses to Blake Lively's character, that she had sex with her half brother in the past. The scene has a brief flashback as she describes the event, and I wasn't expecting it, but it made me feel really weird. I had just started to get past it when later in the movie, Blake Lively's character threatens Anna Kendrick, insulting her by calling her "brother fucker", and it prompts another flashback in which she remembers her then husband suspecting her of having an affair with the half brother and calling her out on it.

After that scene I felt this terrible knot in my stomach. I couldn't focus for the rest of the movie. I was just thinking about how if I ever told anyone close to me about any of this, how they could use it against me, and hold it over my head for as long as they wanted. I thought about if I ever try to have a normal relationship... how hard it will be to open up to them about this. Ideally this isn't something I want to keep from my future partner, especially if marriage is involved. But what if they hate me over it? Or think... I'm... a bad person. Needless to say my stomach was uneasy for the rest of the day and I felt thoroughly shaken and detached. I don't even remember much of the rest of the night to be honest.

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Sunday, December 22nd 2019

I feel like the last few days have just kind of blown by. We've visited with extended family, done a little more shopping and some gift wrapping. Lots of cooking, movies, and doing our best to stay out of the cold. It's been fun, and the feeling in my stomach has mostly subsided. But my brother texted me a few hours ago, once we'd all gone to bed.

[Bee, is everything good?]

[yeah, why?]

[you haven't needed any help with milk or anything in a few days, I was kind of worried]

[oh, I've been milking myself before bed the last few nights, I'll let you know if I need more help.]

I saw the typing dots appear and disappear a lot over the next few minutes, before finally he responded.

[okay. Goodnight! Love you]

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Monday, December 23rd 2019

My mom pulled me aside today, calling me into her room under the guise of helping her wrap my dad's present from her. But in hindsight I realize she was just wanting to talk.

"So how is the living situation over there? Is it still okay?" She asked, changing the subject from whatever we'd been talking about a second ago.

"Yeah, it's working out fine. I thought I would miss being alone more but I really don't."

"And you and (your brother) are getting along okay? You're not at each other's throats or anything?" She asked, looking earnest.

I felt my stomach get heavy. We were definitely getting along, so to speak. I felt a wave of guilt rush over me as I spoke. "Yeah, it's been great!"

"Are you sure? You two barely seem to be talking the last few days. Almost like you're avoiding each other."

I paused and thought back to the last few days. To the texts he'd sent last night. Oh... she was right. Ever since the movie made me feel weird about everything... I hadn't talked to him at all. Now I just felt even worse... "Oh, I- I think I've just been so distracted with the holidays. I'll hang out with him tonight."

My mom smiled at me and finished wrapping whatever she was working on. "Just let me know if something's bothering you. We can work out a different living situation if we need to. Your father and I appreciate you sacrificing your independence a little to help us out here, but if either of you want a change we understand."

"Thanks, Mom. It's all good, I promise. It's been much better than I expected." We came downstairs together and placed the newly wrapped gifts under the tree.

I found my brother sitting on the couch, playing Pokémon on his Switch Lite. I hadn't even realized he'd brought it with him. Ugh there's no way I'm winning that Pokédex race. I knelt down next to him and got his attention.

"Want to go shopping?" I asked. To which he enthusiastically sat up. We bought a few things and got some hot chocolate, then we sat for a while before heading home so we could talk a bit.

"Hey, I'm sorry if I've seemed distant the last few days." I started, softly, staring at my cup.

"You have. It's okay. Did I upset you?" He asked carefully.

"No, no! It's nothing you did, I've just- the movie the other night kind of messed with me, and I don't know-"

"Simple Favor?"

"Yeah." I met his eyes.

"Yeah the brother stuff was... unexpected. You're worried about people using this to get at you... right?" Ugh, I wanted to avoid this.

"Maybe, sort of. I don't know. I just got reminded of how we need to be careful."

"I know." He said softly. "I've missed you... the last few nights."

"I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to be distant. I didn't even realize I was." I stirred my drink to keep from fidgeting.

"I can't believe you let me go to bed hungry!" He said. A stupid smile spreading on his face. I couldn't help smiling back, but I felt my cheeks grow hot.

"Well, save room tonight." And with that we finished our drinks and headed home. I think the sort of wake up call from my mom helped me realign, because I finally remembered how to just be brother and sister like normal, at least in front of our parents. I was over complicating and over thinking it, when it really doesn't take any thought or effort. Just a little restraint. I was relaxed enough tonight to feed him easily, and it felt great to regain that comfort and let go of the paranoia a bit. I even noticed how hard he was in his pants, and I was so tempted to reach for him and take care of him. I miss taking care of him already. Damn, I'm getting myself hot just thinking about it. I need to go to bed.

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Tuesday, December 24th 2019

God we don't go home until next Monday and I've been on and off horny lately. I don't know how I'm going to get through the rest of this trip when I can't stop thinking about how I'm going to pin him to the floor as soon as we get home and just impale myself on his-- okay I need to stop.

Lmao. I wrote that when I woke up this morning and I should have known it was a sign.

We started preparation for Christmas dinner tomorrow, and watched a bunch of holiday movies today. Muppet Christmas Carol is always a favorite, and I actually kind of loved that Noelle movie on Disney+. We all stayed up kind of late, usually our parents aren't up much past midnight. But then our dad fell asleep on the couch. Our mom got up to go check something in the kitchen and lock the doors, and I felt a rush of heat flow through my chest as my brother and I made eye contact. I could see his gaze drop to my chest, and on a whim, I slowly lifted my top and bra, showing him my boobs. His eyebrows shot up and he glanced nervously at our dad as I rubbed a finger tip against one of my nipples and feigned a silent moan of pleasure. He bit his lip and I laughed noiselessly as I pulled my top back down. I turned my attention to the tv and flicked around the streaming apps mindlessly. After a bit, he stood up and walked across the room and around the couch I was sitting on, making his way to the bathroom. When he finished, he quietly snuck up on me, and slowly leaned over the couch, before whispering in my ear.

"God, I want you so fucking bad right now." My eyes widened and I felt my pelvic muscles immediately tighten. His hot breath on my neck as he breathed the words against my skin gave me goosebumps, and I felt my pulse quicken. Fuck. He sat back down in his spot across the room and he clearly knew exactly the effect he'd had on me because he wore a smug grin that made me wish my body wasn't so sensitive.

Eventually Mom came back and woke our dad so they could go to bed. That just left us in the room, some Netflix trailer auto playing in the background as we just stared each other down. After a while, I croaked out. "Well... I'm going to go to bed too... goodnight." And I quickly stood, so I could go up to my bedroom. Leaving him looking confused. I got under my covers and tried my best to will myself to sleep. I could tell I was super wet, and I knew I was losing my self control a little bit. I kept telling myself I needed to finger myself and get it out of my system, but my hands wouldn't move. Eventually I heard him come up the stairs and go into his room. And then it was all I could think about... that he was right there across the hall.

Before I could think, I realized I was at my door, knob in hand, turning it, opening it, and silently tip-toeing up to his door, quietly opening it and carefully closing it behind me. He was laying in his bed, his dim lamp still on, and he just looked at me quietly.

"I... do you- will you help me with my milk?" I almost whispered.

He nodded quietly, and I slowly pulled my top off, moving toward his bed and crawling over him. It felt surreal, doing this in his room. It felt wrong. Like everything we do.

"Did you ever fantasize... about me coming to you like this. Coming to your bed... like this?" I found myself asking, my voice husky as I tried to whisper.

He put his hands at my sides, holding me in place as he gave my chest and stomach a once over.

"If I did, it definitely would never have held a candle to the real thing." He said, so smoothly. I don't understand where this side of him comes from. It always catches me off guard. And I can't get enough of it.

I leaned forward, planting my lips on his, letting my boobs sway between us, my nipples dragging against his chest. Then I sat up and scooted my hips up his body. Sucking air in between my teeth when I felt my crotch come to rest against his firm heat.

"What happened to behaving?" He asked.

I put my hands on his shoulders. "What? You're just helping me with my milk. That's okay. That's still behaving." I said, barely able to keep from grinding on him. I felt like I was running a fever. "That's all we can do though. We can't do any more. We're going to be good." I closed my eyes and arched my back, pushing my chest to his lips. He quickly latched on, and I gasped softly.

I measured my breathing. Trying to focus on the sensation as he drew the milk from me, trying to focus without letting myself lose the battle my body was currently fighting against me. And then I felt his cock throb under me, and I bit my lip. And THEN I felt his tongue swirl around my nipple, flicking the hard point firmly, before carefully taking it between his teeth and applying pressure gradually. Pinching my nipple with his teeth, all but biting it. I threw my head back and my mouth opened, and a pained groan escaped me, just enough to startle me and cause me to slap my hand over my mouth, wide eyed and panicked. But I was still at his mercy.

He looked up at me and moved his jaw so he could roll my nipple between his teeth, and I shuddered. He returned to drinking from me, and squeezed my breast with his other hand. I looked down just in time to see a fountain of milk burst from me and spray the side of his face, immediately sending me over the edge. I gasped and held my breath, my eyes watering as I tilted my hips forward and ground my clit against the bulge of his pants. Shaking in his lap as my orgasm took control. After what felt like hours but was assuredly only minutes if not seconds, I came down, and regained focus as I felt his cock lurch under me.

"Are you... sure you want to 'behave'?" He asked, between kisses around my nipple.

I made a pathetic little whine and shook my head. "I don't know..." I whispered. "You're not making it easy for me, you dick."

He laughed softly and continued to drink from me for a bit, and as I got comfortable, I felt an ache building between my legs. No... there's no way we can do this. Not here. We were doing so good at keeping things relatively PG. PG-13 at best. I felt my eyes water as I realized I had already pushed my hips down harder and was crushing my clit between us as I ground my panties against his significant bulge. He groaned against my skin, the vibration in my breast startling me, and I moaned softly to him in response. I could feel my breathing grow shorter and more rapid all while my brain was screaming for me to stop.

"Get off of him, go take a cold shower. Not here, not while Mom and Dad are asleep two doors down. It's too risky. Fuck why is that word so hot right now? No, get off of him right now! Okay, maybe I can let him finish, let him empty me and THEN get off of him. Ohhh, empty... so empty... he's right here and he's so ready, I'm so ready. FUCK! NO! I need to stop, just SHUT UP."

I think while we were at home and by ourselves, it was easy to shut the world out for the most part and just embrace our feelings and explore this newfound facet of our relationship, but now, being with our parents, being in this environment and being reminded of our upbringing... its made me feel a little guilty. Reminding me of the consequences this could hold for us, and the people we might hurt. Just writing this feels so conflicting because I feel like I'm suffocating from these thoughts but I also can't help how I feel, in my heart, how much I love what our relationship has become.

He started to move back from one breast to the other, and it was enough to snap me out of it for a second. I placed my hands at either side of his head and pulled him from me, holding him in place as our eyes met. I could hear my heartbeat in my head, feel my temples pulsing. Why did this feel so intense tonight? He just looked at me quietly, his chest rising and falling so... intensely. Why is intense the only word I can think of?