Best Friends Forever Pt. 02

My house suddenly feels lonely without Brian here - incredibly lonely. I should be happy that he's moving in with me for awhile instead of hiding inside my bedroom and bottling up my feelings. It feels like I'm in Hell torturing myself with my thoughts because I long to feel his flesh against mine.

Deep down, I'm afraid to pour my heart out to him and set myself up to be emotionally hurt. He'd probably beat my ass senseless if I even joked around about wanting to have sex with him. Still, that might not be such a bad idea if I could find the courage to do it.

"Anything has got to be better than letting my thoughts consume me," I mumble, staring up at the ceiling, visualizing his adorable face.

"At least I have the house all to myself," I say, wiggling around on my bed.

"I just wish that he hadn't left so soon," I say, closing my eyes.

"He's probably afraid he'll hurt my feelings," I assume, sliding my leather skirt up and over my hips.

"If he calls me a sissy," I add, playing with my cock.

"I bet he's afraid I'll make a pass at him," I reason, squeezing my soft cock until it stiffens in my hand.

"He could've stayed," I say, stroking my hand up and down my cock. "I don't bite."

"Damn, he smelled good," I babble, fading off into my fantasies, stroking my cock faster and faster, "so fucking good."

Several minutes later, I bring myself to a much needed, stress-relieving orgasm. Rolling over on my side, I cup my hand and catch my cum in it. With my cock still quivering, I sit up on the edge of my bed, panting and stare down at it, wishing it was Brian's cum.

After stirring my index finger through my cum, I suck it from my fingertip, savoring the bitter, salty taste. Then, I lick my hand clean. Despite my orgasm, my mood suddenly shifts, leaving me feeling more depressed than a already. It sucks being unable to give myself to Brian in ways that I want to.

"It's not doing me any good bottling up my feelings," I groan, collapsing over on my back, closing my eyes.

Both exhaustion and a lack of sleep eventually catch up to me. Instead of heading into the kitchen to cook something for dinner, I roll over on my belly and pull a pillow underneath my head, wrapping my arms around it like a teddy bear. Soon, I drift off to sleep enjoying another vivid, erotic dream.

"There you are," he says, opening my bedroom door, finding me on the bed touching myself. "Are you being naughty?"

"Oh, yes - very naughty," I answer, rubbing my breast while I play with my little sissy cock."

"I see that," he says, unbuttoning his jeans as he kicks off his shoes.

"You kept me waiting," I whisper, shamelessly stroking my tiny cock in front of him, "and I was so - so horny."

"So - are you ready for some dick," he asks, spinning my body around to the edge of the bed.

"I need you inside me," I beg, raising my knees and spreading my ass cheeks when his blue jeans hit the floor.

"Don't worry," he promises, kicking his jeans to the side as he strips off his tee shirt.

"Make love to me," I whisper, gazing up into his eyes, blinking.

Later on in the evening, I awaken from another less memorable dream. Noticing my bedroom door open, I leap off my bed in a total panic, rush over to it and slamming it shut unable to remember if I closed it or not. With my heart racing, I rummage around through my panty drawer for a pair of tight, body-shaper panties to keep my cock pinned against my body so it appears nonexistent.

"I hate having a dick," I say, sliding the panties up my legs, then tugging my leather skirt back in place.

Sneaking out of my bedroom, I find myself still alone in the house. As boredom sets in, I begin pacing around searching for something that'll occupy my mind and keep me from thinking about Brian. Frustrated, I dig out my diary and write down my feelings, things that I wish I had the courage to say to him in person.

"Friday, November 27, 2008: Brian, I lie awake at night; sleepless, thinking about you. We've been best friends for so long I can't remember not being friends. Over the years, my feelings for you have grown deeper. I want to tell you how much you mean to me - I really do. More than anything, I wish I could look you in your eyes, hold you, kiss you, and tell you how much I love you - that I can't see myself being with anyone else but you."

When I'm through scribbling down my feelings, I head into the living room to watch a movie, worrying about him because it's getting late. I put in a DVD, grab the remote and flop down on my sofa. Soon, headlights shine against the walls of the living room. Then, the sound of a car door slamming shut echoes in the house. Minutes later, Brian walks through the front door hanging his head.

"Hey, you're back," I greet, looking up at him, smiling, noticing his gloomy face. "Something wrong?"

"I went to see Sara," he sighs, digging around in his pocket.

"I was worried about you," I add, leaning over to turn on the lamp.

"Here," he says, laying a lot of money on the end table, "before I forget."

"What's this for," I ask, glancing down at the stack of money.

"It's a little something for rent," he explains, pushing it towards me. "I might have to stay longer than I thought."

"I can't take this," I reply, leaving the money where it is. "You can stay as long as you need to."

"Please, just take it," he insists, picking it up and handing it to me. "I'll feel bad if you don't."

"You don't have to," I mention, watching him mope to his room and close the door.

Minutes later, I hear Brian in his room arguing on the phone with Sara again. Even though they're not married, it seems like Brian wants to solve the issues they're going. Still, I don't see the point of arguing with each other since it takes both people working together for any relationship to work.

"It's none of my business," I remind myself, pausing the movie.

Disinterested in the quarreling, I get up off the sofa and toss the remote and the money on the coffee table. With my stomach growling, I head off into the kitchen to find something to cook for dinner. When it's finished, I fix a plate for Brian and myself.

"Hey, I fixed lasagna and garlic bread," I holler, knocking on his door.

"I'm not hungry," he says, returning to the heated argument.

"I'll put it in the refrigerator," I mention, turning and walking away.

It's hard to tell if Brian is avoiding me or that he's just so caught up in what's going on with Sara. He's always been open with me about anything and everything major going on in his life until now. Deep down, it hurts to see him going through this situation alone and not be the shoulder he can lean on like I normally am.

Heading back into the kitchen, I put his plate in the refrigerator and pour myself a glass of Dr Pepper. Then, I make my way to the living room to finish the movie while I eat dinner. Not long after I finish eating, his door opens and he wanders out into the living room, finding me cutting up at the movie.

"My hypocrisy only goes so far," I repeat, quoting the movie. "Hahaha... That's the best line in the whole fucking movie."

"What're you watching," he asks, listening to me rattle off quotes from the movie.

"Tombstone," I answer, glancing up into his shimmering blue eyes as I cross my legs ladylike.

"That's a good movie," he says, passing in front of me as he walks across the living room.

"Would you like me to start it over," I suggest, reaching for the remote.

"Nah, I've probably seen it a dozen of times," he says, sitting down on the loveseat, crossing his foot over his knee.

It's good to see Brian come out of his room. It's not like him to be so recluse. Still, he's quiet and distant while he watches the movie with me. Ever so often, I cut my eyes over at him, wondering about what thoughts are churning in his head. Suddenly, out of the blue, he blurts out one of the movie lines.

"Did you ever see anything like that before," Brian quotes, laughing. "Hell, I ain't never even heard of anything like that."

"That's one of my favorite lines in the movie, too," I mention, cutting my eyes over at him again for a quick second.

"There's a lot of great lines in this movie," he adds, bouncing his foot up and down on his knee, "just like 'Full Metal Jacket'."

"I almost put in that movie," I say, studying him for a second, waiting for a response.

Brian doesn't reply to my comment. Instead, he quietly finishes watching the movie. When it's over, I expect him to run back into his room and shut the door again. Surprisingly, he stays for a moment, suggesting there's something he wants to talk about.

"I'm sorry I've been avoiding you," he says, standing up. "Things are getting worse - a lot worse with Sara."

"I can here y'all arguing," I mention, putting the movie back in it's case.

"I went over to see her," he sighs, running his fingers through his hair, "but she didn't even want to talk to me face to face."

"I'm sorry," I empathize, turning around to face him. "I'm here if you need someone to talk to."

"I know," he adds, patting me on the shoulder. "That's why you're my best friend - you listen."

Brian hasn't been dating Sara too long, maybe about a year so I don't know her all that well. I don't want to choose sides and get caught up in the drama either. Besides, I can't relate to he's going through because I've never been in a real relationship with a woman. I do want to hug him, kiss him on the cheek and remind him that everything's going to be okay. Instead I let him open up, without pressuring him for any details.

"Friends are supposed to do that," I explain, noticing his hand resting on my shoulder.

"Do you ever wonder how or why we became such friends," he asks, retracting his hand.

"I've never given it much thought," I confess, thinking back to the earliest memories that I can remember. "We've been friends forever."

"You don't let the things beyond your control bother you," he says, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"Hahaha... That's an understatement," I say, putting the movie in the movie cabinet. "This is me we're talking about, right?"

"Maybe you just deal with things better than I do," he says, breaking eye contact with me.

"Life is too short to get hung up on what other people think," I mention, closing the cabinet.

Brian is beating around the bush. Whatever it is bothering him, he's not being very specific, leaving me to assume it's something going on between him and Sara. The look in his eyes, however, suggests it's something different. I begin to watch my words.

"I have no trouble talking to women," he says, hesitating for a moment, "but it's hard to talk to my best friend when he wearing makeup."

"Well, underneath the makeup and women's clothes," I remind, picking up my empty plate and heading to the kitchen, "I'm still your best friend."

"That's the reason why I took the picture," he confesses, snickering.

"What picture - when," I ask, stopping dead in my tracks and spinning around, looking for an explanation.

"Hahaha... The one of you laying on your bed today," he explains, digging his phone from his back pocket.

"No - you didn't," I blush, nearly dropping my plate on the floor.

"Yeah, I did - see," he brags, showing me a picture of me on my bed asleep. "I came back to get my wallet and your door was wide open.

"Why did you take that picture," I ask, staring at it in disbelief. "I can see my -"

"I couldn't pass it up," he interrupts, pulling his phone away from my eyes. "If I can't pick on my best friend, who can I pick on?"

"You have a point," I say, walking over to the sink, "but I can see my dick in the picture."

"Relax, I'll delete it," he promises, following me into the kitchen.

"No, send me a copy of it before you delete it," I suggest, sitting my plate beside the sink.

"Why would you want to keep a picture like this," he asks, studying me.

"I don't know - just for the Hell of it," I say, brushing against him on the way back into the living room, "but you're the one who took it."

"Hahaha... I don't think that's how blackmail works," he jokes, following behind me.

I'm really surprised Brian took a picture of me looking up underneath my skirt - no, I'm not. He's done some weird, crazy shit like it before back in college, just not quite as outrageous. Still, it's good to see him lightening up about me dressing like a woman openly in front of him. I was beginning to get a little worried that he'd reject this side of me. It doesn't, however, make it any easier for me to tell him I'm gay. If anything, it makes it even harder.

"You never told me you did this sort of thing," he mentions, forwarding the picture to me. "Hell, I didn't recognize you - and you were standing right in front of me."

"I thought it'd affect our friendship," I explain, turning to face him, hanging my head.

"It'd take a lot - and I mean a fucking lot more than just you dressing like a woman," he says, stuffing his phone in his back pocket. "to ruin things between us."

"Yeah, I should've known that," I add, lifting my head.

"Have you told anyone else," he yawns.

"I've told a few people - not many," I admit, studying his reaction. "People tend to distance themselves from me after I tell them."

"It sounds like they're insecure around you," he yawns again, rubbing his eyes.

"Probably," I say, raking the hair from my eyes.

"Well, I'm going to call it a night, Kevin," he says, heading to his room. "I've had more than enough excitement for one day."

"G'night, Brian," I say, retreating back into my bedroom as well, closing the door behind me.

Within the privacy of my bedroom, I strip down to my lingerie. Then, I sift through my closet for my pink satin pajamas. After changing my clothes, I turn off the light. Then, I crack open my door and stare across the house at Brian's door, noticing the light is still on in his room.

I leave the beddoor open and tumble over onto my bed. Wishful thoughts begin to fill my head. As I lay there, I can faintly hear him arguing on the phone again. Folding my hands under my head, I stare up at the ceiling, thinking aloud.

"If Brian wanted to have sex, he would've hinted about it by now," I mumble, imagining what sex would be like with him.