Best Interests at Heart

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But the brother was in the way.
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I got a feedback, it told me to try and not be alone tonight. This is New Year's Eve.

My late husband, Ted (You read his work as magichands) and I never went out on New Year's eve. I asked him once, "Why Not!" he told me he wanted to be just with me to start a New Year over again.

I am a woman, stuff like that melts the heart, but then everything that man ever did melted my heart!

Ted was a street reject when we met, in the depths of depression, he had lost a wife in a tragic freak accident.

He simply fell apart, walked away from everything, ended up living hand to mouth on the street.

That is where I met him, something happened. I can't explain it, anyone else I would have walked around and continued on, but there was something. Who knows?

Fate, Kharma, God, luck? I have no idea, he got into my head and never left. Just a filthy, dirty, stinking street reject, begging for coins from the sidewalk!

Yes, walk right on by!

I didn't. By the time I had him set up in an apartment it was really obvious that this wasn't "just a guy", there was more. Intelligent, more than that, close to genious!

He looked at people and saw them for what they were, he never missed in all the time we were together.

But one day my Brother, Jerry, showed up. Jerry is big, it is always a surprise to folks to find out we are brother and Sister. Part of that is the "half" in there, my own Father was long gone before Jerry showed up. I was just a little girl so I didn't understand, but the fact is my Mom liked sex, too! So I suddenly had a baby brother, I was 8 years old when he arrived. In no time at all, Jerry took up a LOT of space in my life!

Jerry's father did the same to him my own did to me, simply vanished, never to be heard from again.

Growing up with a brother that was 220# by the time he was 12 was an advantage. I got picked on a lot by girls, but never by the boys! If they did and I told Jerry, he simply would go talk to them, he was so big he really didn't need to do more.

By the time I was in my early 20's, Jerry was 290# and he was one of those men who worked out all the time. He just got bigger and bigger!

About this time some will think of some kind of sex act between us, hell, Jerry never saw me naked, or me him, let alone anything to do with sex. It simply didn't cross our minds, we were normal in that respect.

Jerry was my fence between me and the world, my salvation, so to speak! No one could or dared to hurt me, and they knew it, at least the boys, anyways.

It takes me some thinking to remember, but I was about 27 or 28 when I met Ted. In no time, I was spending a huge amount of time, and all my savings on him. My plans for my Doctorate were out the window, I had spent that money I had so carefully saved for years on him.

Jerry found out, and didn't like it, he considered Ted to be a bum and a freeloader. I had Ted set up in an apartment, paying most of the bills for about 6 months when all hell broke loose!

Jerry took it on himself to go over there and "fix" the problem! It is hard for this generation to understand, but Ted also had one other thing about him he never talked about. He served in some kind of a special military unit, and had training and experiences he never really ever talked about.

I remember asking him one night, his left ribcage had an indentation, there were scars all over him that were obviously the result of some kind of trauma. I brought up the subject several times, every time without fail his mood would change and he would avoid the subject.

Ted would smile, and change the conversation, it was one part of his life he would not share with me. I realized quickly that I was in territory that was forbidden, he just never discussed that.

But Jerry, sweet Jerry. He beat on Ted's door that night, Ted answered. Jerry puffed up to his largest size and more or less "ordered" Ted to "Take a walk" as I found out later!

I wasn't there, so I can only guess, but Ted would have smiled and said "Thank you for your concern!" or something like that. Jerry would have reached for him, with most men, that would have done the trick, they would have folded in fear of his sheer size!

Ted wasn't most men!

It was a full day later that I found out about the confrontation. I was all upset, I asked Ted about it. "I didn't hurt him badly" was all he said, and he turned and walked back into his apartment.

I tried and tried, Ted didn't want to discuss it, he didn't want to upset me or my family, he told me. I was thinking it couldn't have been too bad, Ted didn't have a mark on him.

I was almost in a panic, it took me a week to find Jerry. He was staying with friends when I arrived. I took one look and knew, Jerry's eyes were still black, a bruise on his cheek. Every motion he made seemed to be filled with pain. He lay there in the bed, I was crying, not knowing what to do.

"Can't handle him, what the hell is he!" he said to me.

"I don't know!" I answered, truthfully, "I just don't know!"

Jerry healed up, and he moved to New York. He had always been my protection, looked after me. Somehow failing ended things in his eyes, he simply left. I went for 10 years without hearing or knowing. Then one day the phone rang, by then, Ted and I were married and happy. Jerry wasn't, we argued, and he hung up.

I spoke to Jerry again just a few days ago, I explained that Ted was gone.

There was a long silence, then he said, "You loved him, didn't you, Sis?"

"Yes," I replied. "There was no finer man on the planet."

"Well, I love you, Lee!" Jerry told me.

"I wish you had loved us both!", I replied. "It has been too many years!"

"That man beat me silly," Jerry said. "It was easy for him, he simply slapped me until I couldn't get up, he broke me."

"Jerry, I am sorry, Ted never hurt anyone unless he had to" and I explained what I suspected about his experiences and training, I still to this day don't know about that.

Then I told him, "Come home, I need you now" and he replied, "OK".

I has been many years since I saw and held my brother, soon I will again.

This story is for you, Ron. You asked. Nothing erotic, lord knows I do have that in me. I just spent New Year's Eve, all alone, writing, like you said I should do.

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AnonymousAnonymousalmost 9 years ago
Things,

There are something's that a lot of us will not or can not share. It is not because we want to keep a secret . But it is hard for the average person to gasp and understand. It is better to just not talk about it.

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