Big Bang Theory - Penny Pays the Bill Pt. 07

(MF, gang)

Just before she left her apartment for her afternoon shift at the Cheesecake Factory, three days after Christmas, Penny received a cryptic text message from her boyfriend Leonard: "please take a change of old clothes, and I will pick you up at the restaurant after your shift ; ) ." She had no idea what he had in mind, but knew there was not another person on earth that she would rather spend time with, so she stuffed some clothes in her purse. All through her shift she was anxious with anticipation wondering what her sweet nerd had in store for them.

On her break, she just sat in her car reminiscing about the past few months with Leonard, which had been the happiest of her life. She would never have guessed that a bespeckled, nerdish scientist could have captured her heart as completely as Leonard had. Her friends had on occasion made the comparison of her relationship to Beauty and the Beast...most of those people were now former friends. Aware of the incongruity of their alliance, she shrugged it off and told them, "scientifically speaking...opposites attract."

After changing in the restaurant restroom, Penny found Leonard waiting for her in front. He was standing beside his car and opened the door for her, like he always did. "Who says the age of chivalry is dead," she teased him as he slid into the driver's seat; then leaned over and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"Thanks m-lady," he nearly blushed, "may I have the honor of your company tonight?"

She saw that he had the cute,mischievous look on his face like a child hiding a cookie under his pillow and asked, "what do you have planned, my little Ewok." Her dates with Leonard had been the best times of her life and she was bubbling over with anticipation. If anyone had heard her pet-name for Leonard, they probably would have wondered why he wasn't upset; figuring it was a reference to his being short, or possibly because he was surprisingly hairy when he took off his shirt...but he knew it was because Penny found the little aliens to be preciously cute and cuddly.

"That's a surprise," he winked at her, and then added, "you're off tomorrow, right?"

"Yessss," she curiously replied, "why do you ask?"

"It's just that you might be tired," he teased her.

"Ooooo, this is intriguing," she continued. She wanted to ask if he was going to ravish her, and wear her out in bed, but she knew that wasn't it because he was still to shy and insecure around her to initiate sex...he always waited for her to hint at the subject.

A short drive later, he pulled the car into a parking lot adjacent to several warehouses and Penny was bursting with wonder. They got out of the car and he led her by the hand, which she totally enjoyed, to one of the huge buildings which was bustling with activity. "Oh my God," Penny squealed when she realized they were standing in front of one of the unfinished floats for the upcoming New Year's Day Rose Parade. "Leonard, what are we doing here," she gushed.

"Well, the University of Cal Poly at San Luis Obispo always builds a float for the parade, and since they are a sister university of Cal Tech, where I work, they contacted our university and asked for volunteers to glue on all the flower petals. It has to be done in three days and they needed assistance. I thought it would be fun for us to help out...you also get a pass to watch the parade from the bleachers. If you don't want to, I understand, I just thought..."

"Oh my God, you dear sweet man," she exploded, throwing her arms around his neck and smothering him with kisses, "of course I want to help. This is incredible. How do you keep thinking of these things...I love you." And then she realized what she had said and tried to quickly move on, "our family always gathered in the living room back in Nebraska on New Year's Day and watched the parade together...of course the last couple years I was there, I kinda had a hangover. Wait until I tell Dad I worked on a float." In the years she had been living in Pasadena, she had never gone to see the parade. She guessed it was like all the people in New York City who had never visited the Empire State Building or the Statue of Liberty. She was so happy at the moment that she thought she would burst.

Leonard just stood there looking at her, his mouth hanging open and finally responded, "do you know what you just said." She had actually screamed it once before, but it was in the throes of an orgasm, so Leonard had assumed it was just an excited exclamation. This time there was only one explanation. Penny smiled and nodded her head in the affirmative, and he asked, "are we going to act like it is no big deal."

"Yes," Penny suggested, "because if we don't I am going to cry and you know if I start crying...you're going to start crying."

"You're right," he agreed, and before he could continue they heard someone shout, "hey, come on you slackers...get to work...it's time to get sticky."

Penny turned to see Howard and Raj walking toward them carrying buckets. "Oh yeah," Leonard told her, "Howard and Raj thought it would be a good place to meet girls so they signed up too."

Howard's sleazy personality still made Penny's skin crawl, so she decided to bring him down to earth and asked, "you didn't bring Bernadette?" Bernadette worked part-time at the Cheesecake Factory with Penny and had asked her to introduce her to Howard, against Penny's better judgement.

"No, she had to work on her doctoral thesis and didn't want to be disturbed," Howard slyly answered, "come on you two, let's get you some flower petals." Raj smiled widely and nodded his greeting to Penny. She had a soft spot for the Indian scientist who just could not bring himself to speak to attractive girls (which she took as a compliment), unless he was intoxicated.

"Where's the rest of the Fearsome Foursome," Penny inquired, "where's Sheldon."

"At home, of course," Leonard informed her, "you didn't expect Sheldon to attend a fun gathering of people...and get his hands dirty."

"You're right...what was I thinking," Penny laughed.

The rest of the night, until about 3:00 AM, Leonard spread glue and Penny applied flower petals, or seeds to the progressing float. They met countless other University employees and their friends and everyone seemed to be having the time of their lives. On their break they were able to wander through the adjacent warehouses, hand in hand, and look at the other floats being prepared.

As they climbed the stairs to the fourth floor, nearly too tired to trudge, Penny kissed Leonard on the cheek and said, "thanks for this...the happiest times of my life seem to be when I'm with you."

This time visibly blushing, Leonard replied, "if you're available, they still need us for two more nights."

"Consider it a date," Penny answered as she unlocked 4B.

"I can't tell you how much I like the sound of that," Leonard responded as he turned the key in the lock of 4A.

"By the way," Penny called over her shoulder as she entered her apartment, "I meant what I said," and she softly closed the door.

Shutting his door, Leonard leaned against the back of it, a tear sliding down his cheek, and whispered to himself, "she loves me."

The next night at break time, Leonard's head of Human Resources, Ms. Davis, asked for his help in gathering the names of all the volunteers so they could be published in the university newsletter, so Penny wandered over to the snack table. She saw the gooey Howard headed purposefully her way and dreaded the encounter. "Hey Penny," he began, "getting right to the point, I need to ask you a favor."

"Howard, I can barely stand to talk to you, what makes you think I would do you a favor," she pointedly replied.

"Well, let's see," Howard explained, "you seem to be getting awfully friendly with Leonard and it would be a shame if he somehow found out about your short lived careers as a masseuse, a porno website performer, or a nude model. I know you made some threat about castration with a rusty knife, but let's face it...you would never do something like that."

Penny felt tears well up in her eyes, but wouldn't give the loathsome Howard the satisfaction of seeing her cry. She knew in her heart that Leonard would understand about her past transgressions, things that had happened before they had become lovers; but she also knew that he would be hurt by the revelations...especially since they involved Howard. "What do you want," she demanded, determined not to let Howard know how much he had affected her.

"Well, I'm being considered for a promotion in my department and a new department head is being introduced this week," he began, "and it would mean a huge raise for me if I was selected. As Ma keeps reminding me, "it's never too early to pad those retirement accounts," especially the way I spend money. Anyway, I am thinking about throwing the new guy a welcoming party; and here's the part where you come in; I need a stripper. Now before you go ballistic: you would be well compensated and I promise I would never bring up the past again...promise."

"Do I look like a stripper to you," Penny huffed indignantly.

Howard seemed to be weighing his response very carefully and after several seconds finally responded, "well, you're pretty enough to be a stripper...a very high paid one at that."

Penny knew Howard had her over the proverbial barrel, but tried to think of a way out. "What would Bernadette say if I told her about this blackmail?"

"Let's face it...Bernadette knows I'm sleazy, so she wouldn't be surprised and we really haven't been together that long anyway. Given my track record, it's probably just a matter of time before I screw up the relationship anyway. So what do you say...I was thinking about next week some time...kind of a post-holiday party."

Penny really did love Leonard and couldn't stand the thought of him being hurt by Howard's accusations, so she asked, "and you swear this would be the last of it...our slate will be clean. Sheldon won't be there will he?"

"Sheldon at a party, are you kidding. That would be like Luke Skywalker joining the evil empire. No, this is just for the Engineering Department...and of course Raj. He's my date. No one that works with Leonard will be there...no Kripke or anybody. I was tentatively thinking of next Saturday. Sheldon has already put out an email declaring he and Leonard will be unavailable for Dungeons & Dragons that night because it is restock-the-medicine-cabinet-night. Considering it's the first one of the new year...they'll be at the pharmacy all night."

It wasn't like people hadn't seen her naked before, and she really did want to spare Leonard's feelings, so after sighing deeply, Penny agreed, "alright...but just a strip...nothing else, and no cameras. If Leonard ever finds out...I will get my revenge, and it won't be pleasant for you."

"I'll call you with the details," Howard added, "but unless something changes, figure on it being next Saturday."

Leonard brought her a soda and told her, "good news: Ms Davis has been taking pictures of all the volunteers and when the next University of California combined newsletter comes out, alumni all over the world will be looking at your picture. Let's face it, you'll be the prettiest face in there. Who knows, a lot of film majors have graduated from here so it may even lead to an opportunity for my future superstar."

"You are so sweet," she smiled, trying to put her conversation with Howard out of her mind, "but I don't think it works like that."

"Well it's just a matter of time before you'll be practicing your Oscar acceptance speech...hopefully on me," he responded, seemingly somewhat sad.

Grabbing his hand, "of course it will be for you...I'll probably ask you to write it," she laughed, trying not to dwell on his insecurity, "as we lounge in our Cannes villa that we paid for with your Nobel Prize money."

The next day was New Years Eve and Penny was up early to run some errands. When she opened her door she found a beautiful crystal vase filled with red and pink roses sitting on the floor. The card read, "To my beautiful Rose Queen. Thanks for all your hard work. I love you too," and it was signed "Leonard Hofstater," but the Hofstater had been crossed out. Carrying them into her apartment, she had to choke back some tears as she thought of her dear sweet nerd.

She knew he had to go to the University for a few hours that morning and that Sheldon did not so she grinned and knocked on 4A: knock, knock, knock, "Sheldon;" knock, knock, knock, "Sheldon;" knock, knock, knock, "Sheldon."

Immediately the door flew open and an un amused Sheldon stared down at her, "I'll bet that started as a joke, and then you found it surprisingly enjoyable and addictive."

"It was definitely enjoyable," she giggled.

"Leonard's not here," he retorted and began to close the door.

Putting out her hand to stop it, Penny admitted, "hold on there Flash, I wanted to talk to you."

"Alright...but I don't think we have any mutual interests," he stepped aside and allowed her to enter.

"We have one...Leonard," Penny corrected him.

"Not exactly my favorite subject of conversation, but he is my roommate," Sheldon declared, "what about him...and if it's about his sexual history: there basically is none."

"You know Sheldon, there are other things on my mind than sex," she answered somewhat perturbed.

"If you say so...now what do you want," Sheldon annoyingly demanded.

"Well, I really like Leonard, but he seems so insecure...almost damaged. What happened to him? I know his mother wasn't exactly the nurturing type, but was she that bad," Penny asked.

"Well I don't have a doctorate in Psychology, although I am probably more knowledgeable in than field than half of the licensed therapists in California, but I'll attempt to answer your question in terms you can understand. His mother Beverly, a wonderfully brilliant Psychiatrist, did write a book, mostly about Leonard, detailing the various behavioral theories and techniques she employed during his upbringing. It was quite thorough and interesting. Leonard made a perfect experimental subject. Unfortunately in the scientific process; and I'll put this in terms you can comprehend; she broke him. She denied him traditional maternal affection for the sake of science and now Leonard feels undeserving of love."

"Oh to grow up in that wonderful cold, unemotional atmosphere," Sheldon gushed, "if only Beverly had been my mother. But getting to your problem: Leonard has been denied affection for so long that he feels he doesn't deserve any. It will take time to fix him, but I have seen that he does possess great compassion...the poor sap. Now what else can I assist you with...I assume there is something much more important."

"That's so sad," Penny sighed, "but I'm going to make him feel loved if it takes my whole life. No, there's nothing else Sheldon...thanks for your time...Happy New Years Eve."

"Well it isn't eve...oh never mind," Sheldon rambled, "are you sure there wasn't something more important. You have this magnificent intellect at your disposal and something as trivial as Leonard's emotions is the only subject you want explored...that's like asking the Incredible Hulk to open a jar."

"No I think we're good...and I don't consider Leonard's feelings to be trivial. Thank you David Banner...maybe I'll see you later," Penny quickly left the apartment leaving Sheldon impressed that she had known the Hulk's alter identity.

Being in one of the best moods of his life, Leonard decided to have a little fun that evening and when it was time to go to the warehouse he crossed the hall: knock, knock, knock, "Penny; knock, knock, knock, "Penny;" knock, knock, knock, "Penny."

The door flew open, Penny rushed out, threw her arms around him, mashed her soft lips against his and began to probe his mouth with her tongue. After a kiss of at least four "Mississippis," she broke it off and whispered in his ear, "you better come inside, we don't want Leonard finding out."

She yanked him inside and slammed the door. Leonard just stood there, his mouth open and a hurt, puzzled expression on his face. When he saw his beloved standing in front of him grinning from ear to ear, he finally began to breathe again. "Oh my God...holy crap...I thought...you really got me...that was about the knock, right...I nearly had a coronary...good one...wow, you look great." She was wearing her usual tight jeans, but in honor of the holiday, her blouse was a glittery, silver number, with a scoop neckline; and by the way her breasts wobbled under the material, he could tell she was going "commando."

Grinning broadly, Penny hugged him and declared, "got you good...you don't think I can tell the difference between my man and your whack-a-doodle roommate Thank you so much for the flowers, baby; I think the last time I got flowers was when my Dad picked a bouquet of daisies after he ran over my pet pig with the tractor.

"You're welcome; I wasn't sure if you would be sick of flower petals by now. I just wanted to thank you for going with me...you mean so much to me and I just wanted you to know it," Leonard admitted. "Ready to go?"

Choking up, Penny hugged him tight and answered, "let's get this show on the road."

New Year's Eve was spent putting the finishing touches on the floats: replacing seeds or petals that had fallen off or wilted...basic "touch-up." The parade committee had set up a huge buffet for all the volunteers so Raj, Howard, Penny and Leonard all gathered in a corner with their paper plates and cups. Nothing alcoholic was served, of course, but Raj and Howard were sharing a flask of tequila and spiking their cups of punch. "Penny, you look so nice tonight," Raj complimented her while trying not to stare at her chest.

"Thanks Raj," she responded, "it's so nice that you brought the booze so we can talk. Speaking of booze, I can't remember the last New Year's Eve when I wasn't drunk...it's kinda nice."

"I'm guessing eighth grade," Howard sarcastically remarked and Penny shot him a cold stare as if to say, "keep it up and you'll be stripping at your own party."

"Hey Howard," Leonard stuck up for her, "play nice," and he felt her squeeze his butt to say thank you. "You realize it's already a new year in New York."

"Then you owe me a kiss," Penny stated as she set her plate and cup on the ground, put her arms around his neck and kissed him tenderly.

"Happy New Year to me," Leonard crowed when their lips separated.

"Hey it's New Years for me too," Howard pleaded.

"Get your own girl," Leonard told him, trying to juggle his plate and cup. Penny picked up her cup and stuck her tongue out at Howard. "Where is Bernadette?"

"Oh she had to work tonight so others could be off," Howard spit out his answer, staring at Penny.

"Hey, I didn't make out the schedule," Penny defended herself, "I have to work an extra long shift tomorrow afternoon right after the parade and Bernadette is off. I'll miss all the best Bowl games. I remember back in Omaha we used to gather around the TV and watch the ball drop in Times Square on New Years Eve...of course it was only 11:00 PM in Nebraska. I could never figure that out."

"Would you like me to explain it to you," Howard asked obnoxiously.

"I was six, jackass," Penny snapped.

"Hey it's News Years...let's all play nice," Leonard interjected as he put his arms around Penny and pulled her back into his body.

It was a cool night in Pasadena and his body heat felt nice, and Penny was pretty sure it was no accident when his hands brushed against her nearly-free breasts.

"Some places in India don't celebrate New Years until January 10th...by the Hindu calendar," Raj added, just to be part of the conversation.

They wandered around marveling at all the floats; many were testing their hydraulics to make sure they were working properly. "This is so totally amazing," Penny declared, and they all agreed..."it's too bad Sheldon is missing it."