Big Bang Theory Season 01 Ep. 16-17

Author's note: The series resets with this episode. Remember that as this story progresses, many times they resume the storyline as if never having sex before with each other. So is the case in this episode. The three women and Penny, who entered Leonard & Sheldon's apartment while they are playing Halo, are back and unknown to them. Bernadette appears in this episode, even though she isn't really introduced to Howard until season 3.

*****

The nerd crew was at the Cheesecake Factory for dinner. Penny and her friends were at another table singing Happy Birthday to one of the patrons. Penny came over to the table afterwards. "So Leonard, will we be seeing you on Saturday for your free birthday cheesecake?"

Sheldon breaks in, "He can't eat cheesecake, he's lactose intolerant."

She nods, "Okay, he can have carrot cake."

"What about the cream cheese frosting?"

"He can scrape it off!" By now she's getting a little irritated.

Leonard cuts in, "Forget about the cake; how did you know my birthday's Saturday?"

"I did your horoscope, remember? I was gonna do everybody's until Sheldon went on one of his psychotic rants."

"For the record, that psychotic rant was a concise summation of the research of Bertram Forer who, in 1958, proved conclusively through meticulous experiments that astrology is pseudoscientific hokum."

She was really irritated now, "Blah, blah, blah, typical Taurus! So we gonna see you Saturday Leonard?"

"I don't think so."

"Why not?"

"I don't celebrate my birthday."

She slapped his playfully on the arm, "Shut up, yeah you do."

"It's no big deal. It's the way I was raised. My parents focused on celebrating achievements and being expelled from a birth canal was not considered one of them."

"That's so silly!"

Sheldon butts in again, "It's actually based on very sound theories. His mother published a paper on it."

She scoffs, "Well, what was it called? "I Hate My Son and That's Why He Can't Have Cake?" "So you've really never had a birthday party?"

"No, but it was okay."

The next day Penny was at her door and as soon as Leonard left the apartment to pick up dinner, Penny hurried across the hall and knocked on their door. Sheldon answered it and she went it. "Okay, here's the deal. We'll throw Leonard a kickass surprise party for his birthday."

Sheldon shook his head, "I hardly think so! Leonard made it clear he doesn't want a party. I think a birthday party is a terrible idea. I envy Leonard for growing up without that anguish.

"Okay, sweetie, I understand you have scars that no non-professional can heal, but nevertheless, we're gonna throw Leonard a birthday party."

"I'm extremely uncomfortable with dancing, loud music and most other forms of alcohol-induced frivolity."

"Nevertheless..."

"In addition..."

She cut him off again, "You either help me throw Leonard a birthday party or I will go into your bedroom and unbag all of your mint-condition comic books. And on one of them--You won't know which one, -- I'll draw a tiny happy face in ink." She gave him a stern stare.

"You can't do that. If you make a mark in a mint comic book, it's no longer mint."

She tips her head to one side and looks to the ceiling, "Do you understand the concept of blackmail?"

"Well, of course, I --Oh!" He sees her point as she smiles at him. He turns to Howard and Raj, "Hey, I have an idea. Let's throw Leonard a kissass birthday party."

Saturday comes along and they meet in Penny's apartment. Penny found out that Sheldon didn't get Leonard a birthday present and she decides to take him to the store to purchase one. It's Raj's job to get the party set-up while Howard has to get Leonard out of the apartment so they can get it together.

Howard decides to fake eating peanuts and has Leonard take him to the emergency room. He has to stall after getting Penny on the phone. Sheldon is helping people at the electronic store and Penny is frustrated, "Listen you gotta stall Leonard longer."

"I don't think I can."

"You have to; we all have to be there to yell "surprise!"

"You have to understand something. We're in a hospital right now."

"Just hold him there a little longer."

"I've done my best but he wants to go home and I don't know how to stop him."

She was suddenly getting a headache, "Okay, how about this? You keep him longer, when you get to the party, I'll point out which of my friends are easy." All of a sudden the line went silent. Howard is in shock and Penny thought the line went dead. She looked at her phone to make sure the line was still active.

He finally manages to speak, "Don't toy with me, woman!"

"I got a former fat girl with no self-esteem. I have a girl who punishes her father by sleeping around. An alcoholic who's two tequila shots away from letting you wear her like a hat."

Howard is stunned and finally replies; "Thy will be done!"

He manages to fake it a while longer and gets Leonard back to the apartment. Howard held back in the car and called Penny, "I hope I held him off long enough. We're about to enter the lobby, remember your deal, is the girl who has sex to piss off her father up there?"

"She sure is Howard, along with the alcoholic and she's already atop Raj's shoulders, two sheets to the wind. Hold him off one minute while I get everyone to hide."

"Okay Penny, but I want first crack at the father hater, what's her name anyways?"

"Her name is Bernadette; she's a new waitress at the Cheesecake Factory and she has a rack on her you'll just love."

"We'll be right up!" Howard stalled Leonard in the lobby telling him to check his mailbox. They climbed the stairs and Howard opened the door. Everyone was hiding, but there were drinks everywhere. Leonard looked around, knowing something was off and as he turned to Howard, Penny and her friends jumped up; "SURPRISE, HAPPY BIRTHDAY LEONARD!"

Leonard was truly surprised; he turned to Howard, "You went through all of that, just for me?"

Howard looked around for his payoff and looked back to Leonard, "Yeah, okay, let's go with that, Happy Birthday, see you later." He moved over to Penny, he couldn't take his eyes off of her legs.

Earlier she was wearing a shorter than mid-thigh tunic, and under it she was wearing a pair of brown pants. Those pants were now gone and now the tunic was not nearly the sundress it was made out to be. As she moved about, her bare ass was showing. It was evident somewhere along the way she lost her panties along with the slacks.

Howard stood before her, "Okay Penny, I did as you asked, where is my prize?"

Penny was already pretty well lit-up. She giggled and led him over to Bernadette. "Hi Bernadette, this is Howard, I just know the two of you will get along just fine. Howard this is Bernadette."

He bowed to her and looked her up and down. She had just come from work, but had lost her starched white blouse. On top all she was wearing was the extremely tight gold vest they all wore at the Cheesecake Factory. He couldn't pull away from the huge tits that tried desperately to leap free from their confinement, "Nice to meet you Bernadette, would you like a drink? I sure know I need one!" He turned to Penny and hugged her and whispered in her ear, "Oh thank you Penny, you're my new best friend!"

They turned and headed towards the bar. Howard came to the bar and Sheldon was behind the bar. He was put in charge of dolling out the alcohol. He was sort of distracted, because behind the bar, on her knees was the tiny strawberry blonde, petite black woman. She was wearing the exact same dress she wore a few months ago when Penny showed them how involved the guys were, even when tempted to have sex with them. Today she was getting her wish. She had Sheldon's rather large cock out. Her mouth was sliding up and down the length of it. She tried taking the large dick into her mouth, but it was way too long for her to handle. She ran her lips up and down the length, stopping to suck on his huge nuts.

Sheldon had his fingers wound in the mass of blonde curls atop her head. He saw Penny walk by. She had Mike on her arm and his hands were under her tiny sundress. From the look on her face, Mike found her wet pussy and was fingering her. Sheldon groaned out to her, "I have to say Penny, you were right, we ARE throwing Leonard a kickass birthday party!" He grabbed hold of his cock and slapped the side of Naomi cheeks with it. He smiled down at her, "Open up Naomi, I want to feel your hot mouth on my cock again."

She looked up at him, "Oh Sheldon, I really want to, but it is way too big."

"Don't worry, you don't have to take it all, just take as much as you can, I promise I won't shove it in any deeper than you can take."

She did so, but was still cautious he didn't lose control. She bobbed up and down and after a few seconds, she took more and more without being forced to.

"Sheldon, can we have a couple glasses of white wine?"

Sheldon looked at Howard, tossed him a couple of plastic Solo cups and pushed an open bottle of wine towards him, "Help yourself Wolowitz, I sort of have my hands full down here."

Bernadette giggled, "Looks like Naomi has her mouth full, not your hands Sheldon."

Howard poured two full glasses of wine and handed one to Bernadette, "Care to find a quieter place where we can be alone and talk and get to know one another?"

In her squeaky voice she replied, "Sure, but I'd rather find a bedroom where we can fuck!"

Howard spit out his wine as he started choking on what she said. After recovering, all he could do was nod. He pulled her by the arm and led her across the hall to Penny's empty apartment. He led her directly to her bedroom and closed the door behind him.

Bernadette downed her wine and hopped up onto the bed and bounced as she did so. One of her large tits popped out and shone up at Howard like a hi-beamed car headlight. She bounced up and down on the bed, "Come on Howard, get your clothes off, I want to suck your cock. Do you have a video camera on your cell phone? I want to make sure I get it all on video so I can by mistake send to my hard ass father."

Howard stripped faster than thought possible. He jumped up onto the bed and flopped down on his back. His six inch cock was already stiff as a board and swayed at full mast back and forth.

Bernadette giggled and in one swift motion, drew the tight sweater vest up and over her head. Her long, curly blonde hair tumbled down around her shoulders and rested on the tops of her huge tits. She slid down and parting his thighs, she lay flat on her belly and began planting tiny butterfly kisses all along his upper thighs. Her tongue flicked out and stabbed at his nut sack. She clamped her lips upon one nut and sucked it gently into her mouth. She rolled it around in her mouth and with a pop, let it go. She drew the other one in and she had him squirming around on the bed.

Howard reached out and began mauling her huge tits and she smiled up at him.

"Would you like to fuck them Howie? I'll let you, I love having a guy's cum shoot all over my titties; as long as you cum in my mouth first. I love the taste of cum and can never get enough."

Howard fell back on Penny's orange pillows and rolled his head around, "Oh fuck, remind me to thank Penny, you are a godsend."

She giggled, "I'm Catholic, not sure what that means, seeing I'm not a Jew, Howie?" She scooted up onto her knees and licked the length of his cock, "I sure hope you like blowjobs, I'm known as the best, even better than Penny at the Cheesecake Factory!" She started in and she made love to his cock. She sucked it, she stroked it, she deep-throated it. Every couple of sucks, she would pull her lips off the tip and open her mouth and allow a stream of thick, hot saliva drool out. She would catch it in his fist and draw it back to the head. Her lips would descend once again, suck up the saliva and then his cock would disappear in her mouth once again. She'd did this over and over again. Her fists would swipe upward and when she opened her palm, she'd spread her fingers and giggle as her saliva made a web between her fingers. She would suck in back in and start all over again.

Howard was going insane. He watched in awe as Bernadette, in over half a dozen times, brought him to the brink of cumming, then she'd squeeze the root of his cock and he'd lose the urge to cum. He had blue balls and desperately needed to cum. "Please, please Bernadette, let me cum! You're driving me crazy and if I don't come soon, I'll have to run into the bathroom and do it myself."

She giggled again, "Aw my poor baby! Okay, I'll let you cum, but you promised me you'd fuck my titties later, right?"

He nodded vigorously, "Anything Bernadette, anything you want, just let me cum."

"Okay Howie, I'll let you cum, you have to video it though, my father will go ballistic when he sees this." She used her mouth and tiny hand and working her magic, he was at the brink in a matter of seconds. She felt his cock swell and she closed her lips around the shaft. She let out a squeal when she felt the first blast. It was so fierce, that it stung the back of her mouth and it startled her. She pulled off of it and the next several blasts covered her face and glasses. She continued to stroke it and swipe the shaft all over her face, "Hee, hee, hee! Oh my god Howie, you sure had a heavy load there." She smacked her lips, "I never felt an eruption like that ever before."

He groaned out, "Neither have I Bernadette, I can say without a doubt you are the best cocksucker I've ever had."

She let out a groan, "Mmmm that sure was tasty, told you I was great! Now how long before you're ready to go again?" She swept the cum dripping down her face and licked her tiny fingers clean.

"Not too long Bernie, how about we get you out of that skirt and let me show you how well I can eat pussy. I'm known around the synagogue as a very thorough cunt lapper."

She let out a squeal, "A Jew eating a Catholic pussy, my father will have a heart-attack!" She sat up and stripped off her skirt and skimmed out of her panties. She spread her shapely, tiny legs seeing she's a stretch to hit five feet tall. She turned and shook her gorgeous bubble butt at Howard, "How do Jews like butts?"

He leaned down and planted several hot, wet kisses all over her ass, "Seeing it isn't Kosher, I'd have to check, but seeing I eat pork lo mein all the time, I think I could put it on my steady diet." He wrapped his arms around her shapely thighs and began raining kisses all over her ass cheeks and down between the tight crack of her ass.

Bernie let out a squeal and shook her ass even more. She pushed hard against his invading tongue and let out a grunt when she felt his tongue penetrate her tight butt hole.

Back in Leonard's apartment, Carol, the woman Penny said was an alcoholic was still perched on Raj's shoulders. She was the tall, short haired redhead who was singing Happy Birthday along with Penny at the restaurant. She was now naked from the waist down. She had a drink in one hand and her other hand was turning Raj's head and pushing it against her fat cuntlips. She was frustrated, she wanted to get off from Raj's tongue, but he wasn't making very good contact. On the other hand, she didn't want to stop drinking. She decided she could get a drink later, downing the drink; she tossed her plastic cup to the cluttered kitchen counter. She grabbed hold of Raj's head and lifting her butt, she managed to twist around, still on his shoulders, but now facing him. Carol arched her hips upward and presented her luscious cunt to his mouth.

Raj was beyond excited and letting out a loud grunt, dove right in and started munching on her pussy. His hands were mauling her butt cheeks and locking his arms, he hoisted her higher so he could lap away at her pussy easier.

Carol, in a drunken state, moaned loudly, "Is there an open bedroom where we can go to so we can fuck?"

Raj spun on his heels and nearly tripped on the step on the way down the hall. He opened Sheldon's door, but Sheldon and Naomi were in there fucking away like two otters. He went to Leonard's bedroom and found it vacant.

He placed one knee on the bed and Carol scooted off his shoulders and fell back onto the bed. Sitting up she slipped off her gold vest and after unbuttoning just a couple of buttons on her blouse, she pulled it up and over her head.

Raj was already naked, getting out of his clothes in nothing flat. He hopped onto the bed and quickly removed her overflowing bra; He buried his face between the twin mounds of flesh and began nipping away at the tender flesh.

Carol reached down and started stroking his fat, brown dynamite cock. She tore free from him and looked up at him with those gorgeous green eyes, "I hope you like oral sex, because I can never get enough of it. How about you sucking on my clit while I go down on you?"

He chuckled, "Is that a trick question?" Before she could reply, Raj fell back onto the bed and pulled at Carol's legs until they were positioned around his head. Gripping her tight buns, he drew her down to his waiting tongue, just before he made contact, he felt a hot, wet mouth close about his thick, stiff shaft and the warmth spread as she took him deep into her mouth, he was in heaven. He flicked his tongue back and forth and uncovering her tiny red pearl, he began strumming it. He heard Carol squeal around his cock and he was rewarded with her mouth taking his entire length deeper into her mouth. He felt it bump against the back of her throat and withdrew slightly. He slipped two fingers into her dripping cunt and twisting his fingers around, he located her G-spot. He began to pet it lightly and Carol shot off like a rocket, drenching his fingers and his active tongue.

Carol was cumming like mad, her entire body tensed up and when it exploded, she squeezed his head so hard, she nearly crushed it like a walnut. She slowly came down from her orgasm and concentrated on sucking Raj's cock. She gripped it in one hand and as she stroked it downward, her warm, wet lips followed. Over and over again, she went faster and harder. She tickled his nuts with her other hand and she was soon rewarded with a gush of his cum. It filled her mouth and like a pro, she swallowed every ounce of his cum. Smacking her lips, she stood up, slipped into her clothes and kissing Raj lightly on the nose giggled, "That was nice, I need another drink before I sober up." She was out of there before Raj could say a word.

Raj was too weak to move, but slowly got up, dressed and resumed partying with the other.

In the living room, the birthday boy was surrounded by the other two who were there a few weeks ago, tempting the nerds while they concentrated and played Halo. The tall, slender Heather, her dark chestnut brown hair was swept up in a bun, while Lucy, the raven haired Asian, with the tight, body clung to his other side.

Leonard saw Penny across the room, she was in a heated embrace with Mike and he figured it was time to forget about Penny and go for it with both Heather and Lucy.

Heather leaned over and started nuzzling his neck. She took his hand and placed it high upon her bare thigh. She, along with Lucy was wearing matching short, black skirts. She was wearing a powder blue, pullover cashmere sweater. It accented her large breasts. As for Lucy, she also had a sweater on, but it was white and it was a button-up. It too showed off her breasts. They were smaller, but just as firm and high standing. She had the two or three buttons undone and it showed her pretty cleavage. It was evident she wasn't wearing a bra as her stiff nipples were showing and those firm mounds were trying to leap from for the sweater. Lucy was being a little bolder than Heather. She nibbled at Leonard's ear from the other side, while her hand was tracing the lump in his trousers. She tugged a little harder on his earlobe and feeling his cock leap in her hand, she stopped rubbing it, but now was squeezing it harder. She stuck out her tongue and ran it along the crease of his ear and when she heard him let out a moan, her hand released his cock and went to work on his pants zipper. Getting it undone she whispered to him, "Lift your ass, I want to free your gorgeous cock so I can suck on it."