Big Bang Theory Season 04 Ep.01-03

Author's note: The series resets with this episode. Remember that as this story progresses, many times they resume the storyline as if never having sex before with each other. So is the case in this episode

One of my readers requested adding pictures of the new characters, but this is not allowed by Literotica. When a new character is introduced, I will put in parenthesis the character's real name so you can look them up on the internet.

The group is eating Chinese food, Howard has his robot hand there and he has it programmed to take all of the food from the bags.

Penny arrives and looks on, "What's that?"

Howard explains what it is and demonstrates by passing her the soy sauce.

Sheldon speaks up, "You realize Penny that the technology that went into this arm will one day make unskilled food servers such as yourself obsolete."

Penny gave him a pout and replied, "Really? They're gonna make a robot that spits on your hamburger?"

Sheldon looked to Leonard, "I thought you broke up with her? Why is she here?"

While they are eating Sheldon gets a text, he picks it up and reads it, "Oh, Amy's at the dry-cleaner's and she's made a very amusing pun. Ahem, "I don't care for perchloroethylene and I don't like glycol ether." "Get it? She doesn't like glycol ether. Sounds like "either." "I'm going to give her an L-O-L!"

Penny turns to Leonard, "Who's Amy?"

"His girlfriend."

"Sheldon has a girlfriend?"

Sheldon butts in, "She's not my girlfriend."

She ignores him, "How long has this been going on?"

"Four Months."

Sheldon reiterated, "She's not my girlfriend."

Penny ignores him again and turns to Leonard, "For four months I have been asking you what's new. And you never thought to go with "Sheldon has a girlfriend?"

Again Sheldon breaks in, "She's not my girlfriend!"

She puts up her finger to Sheldon, "Teh, teh, teh!.....How did they meet?"

Howard adds, "Raj and I entered Sheldon's information on a dating site and it spit out Amy Farrah Fowler."

Penny threw up her arms and exclaimed, "Oh, my God! Sheldon and Amy!"

Howard chuckled, "Or as he call them, SHAMY!"

Penny lets out a shriek, "Shamy, I am so digging the Shamy!"

Sheldon is now getting upset, "All right, everyone pay attention. Yes, I have a friend named Amy Farrah Fowler. Yes, she is female. Yes, we communicate on a daily basis, but no, she is not my girlfriend."

He walks to the kitchen and Penny continues, "Okay, well, what do you communicate about?"

"We talk about our field of study and most recently, the possibility of our having a child together."

Penny was taking a drink of water from her bottle and when she heard this, she sprayed it all over the living room.

Leonard turned to Sheldon, "Wait a minute, a child? You never see this girl. You just e-mail and text and Twitter and now you're considering having a baby?"

Sheldon nodded, "Amy pointed out that between the two of us, our genetic material has the potential of producing the first in a line of intellectually superior benign overlords to guide humanity to a brighter tomorrow."

Penny couldn't sit still, she goes over to him, "Okay, I have a question."

"Yes Penny?"

"You don't even like people touching you. How are you gonna have sex?"

He turns looking stunned, "Why on earth would we ever have sex?"

"Oh honey, did your mom not have the talk with you? You know, when your private parts started growing?"

He was taken aback, "I'm quite aware of the way humans usually reproduce, which is messy, unsanitary and based on living next to you for three years, involves loud and unnecessary appeals to a deity."

She takes a step back, "Oh, God!"

He nods, "Yes, exactly. Consequently, if Amy and I choose to bring new life into this world, it will be accomplished clinically, with fertility experts in a lab with Petri dishes. Which reminds me, you have broad hips and a certain corn-fed vigor; is your womb available for rental?"

She stood there with her mouth wide open, not knowing what to say.

Leonard chuckles, "Still digging the Shamy?"

She composes herself, "Look, Sheldon, before you race off to the fertility clinic, you might want to think about, gee, I don't know, maybe actually spending some time with her."

"You mean dating?"

"Yeah!"

"I can't date Amy."

"Why not?"

"She's not my girlfriend."

"Okay, don't think of it as dating a girlfriend. Think of it as, uh, getting to know the future mother of your child."

He started thinking, "Oh, I hadn't considered that. I suppose she will have to have access to our progeny. You don't think I can achieve the required intimacy via test messaging?"

She tips her head and chuckles, "Probably not."

"Hmmm, it would appear as if the phone companies have been lying to me."

Later that evening Sheldon goes and knocks on Penny's door, "Penny, Penny, Penny!"

She opened the door, "You do realize I stand on the other side of the door waiting for you to finish knocking three times."

"I know, I can see the shadow of your feet under the door."

"Yeah, my point is it's a waste of time."

"If you're looking for an example of a waste of time, I would refer you to the conversation we're having right now."

She's irritated now, "What do you want?"

"I've decided to take your advice and I've arranged to go on a date with Amy Farrah Fowler."

"Oh, that's great, have fun" She starts to close the door but he stops her.

"Wait, you have to drive me."

"What?"

"You know I don't drive."

"Well, go ask Leonard."

"I did, he said, and I quote, "Ask Penny, it was her cockamamie idea."

"Leonard said, "cockamamie"?

"Actually, I'm paraphrasing. Having been raised in a Christian household, I'm uncomfortable with the language he used."

"Okay, fine, when's the date?"

"Now."

"Now?"

"Hurry, we're going to be late."

"Sheldon, did it ever occur to you that I might have other plans?"

"I'm sorry, do you have other plans?"

She stood there stunned, "Well, no, not per se, but..."

"And so this conversation is as pointless as your door-knocking soliloquy?"

Her jaw dropped, "Let me get my....cockamamie keys!"

They pick up Amy and Penny tries to converse with them, it's not easy because Amy is in the back seat, while Sheldon is riding shotgun. She looks back to Amy, "What is that scent you're wearing? It smells great."

"Amy replies, "Dandruff shampoo, I have dry scalp."

"Ah, well, your hair looks very nice."

"Are you a homosexual?"

Penny shook her head, "No, I was just giving you a compliment; I do dabble in some bi-sexual experimentation from time to time though."

"Hmm, I would have been more flattered if you were a homosexual."

Once in the restaurant the subject of sexual partners came up and Sheldon began figuring out the number of partners and men Penny had slept with. Penny got rather upset, but also slightly turned on. "Come on Sheldon, there is no way I slept with 22.5 guys, you are way off base there buster."

"Sorry Penny, the math doesn't lie, I can go over the equations again, but I'm certain they are correct."

Penny tried to turn the subject over to Amy, but it only got worse. She left it at that and finished her meal in silence and asked the waiter to refill the large thermos she handed him with Long Island Ice tea, "Please fill it to the top and give me the overflow in a to-go-cup."

When it came time to take Amy back to her place, Amy leaned over to the front seat, "Would you like to come up to my apartment, I have water up there."

Penny shook her head and reached under her seat and pulled out a large thermos, "No Need Amy, I have a pitcher of Long Island Ice tea here. I can share with both of you."

Sheldon looked back at Amy, "Mmmm, sounds yummy, let's go."

They got up there and Amy got three glasses and filled them with ice.

Penny poured a full glass for Amy and Sheldon, but just a quarter of a glass for herself.

Both Amy and Sheldon drank it down. Amy looked to Sheldon, "That was exceptionally tasty, don't you think so Sheldon?"

"Mmmm yes Amy, can we have a refill Penny?"

She smiled at the two of them and nodded, "Okay, but take it slower, these are...."

Sheldon broke her off, "Don't worry Penny, I'm a longtime tea drinker, as is Amy, I think we can handle it."

She smiled and replied, "Ooooookay, but don't say I didn't warn you two."

After their next drink, Amy removed her cardigan sweater and unbuttoned a few buttons on her blouse, "Wow Sheldon, I don't know about you, but these are great, can we have more Penny?"

She refilled their glasses and they took their time with the refill.

Sheldon stepped over to Amy, "You know, Penny is very skilled at coitus. I think she would be very beneficial in demonstrating to the two of us exactly what it involves."

Amy scoffed at Sheldon, "Sheldon, Sheldon, Sheldon, I know the mechanics of it, I'm just not too familiar with the practical implantations of the act." She turned to Penny, "Could you demonstrate it for me?"

Penny was shocked and at the same time, weirdly turned on by the request, "Aw Amy, what are you asking for. Do you want me to show you with Sheldon or with you?"

She scoffed, "I heard you earlier say you were bi-sexual, so if you could show it on me, maybe I could extrapolate it and try it on Sheldon, if not, you could show me with Sheldon as the guinea pig."

Sheldon got up and was a little wobbly, "Hey now Amy, Penny is my friend and if she wants to notch number twenty three, it will be with me, you can watch if you like." He pulled Penny into a tight embrace and shocked the shit out of Penny when he grabbed her ass and pulled her against his stiffening cock.

Penny didn't know what to do, but feeling his stiff dick, pressing against her immediately made her pussy grow moist. She looked up at him and before she could react, his lips were on hers. It was a messy kiss, he wasn't very experienced, but what he lacked in finesse, he made up for in exuberance. She found herself returning the kiss and she let out a moan when suddenly Amy was behind her.

Amy snuck up behind Penny and was planting wet, sloppy kisses all over her exposed back.

Penny was wearing a flowered, multi-colored sundress, it had two tiny straps holding it up and her shoulders and arms were bare. The dress showed a good amount of cleavage and her back was bare, halfway down her back. She stiffened and knew things were progressing a little too fast and she knew if she didn't put the brakes on, and fast, Sheldon would be number twenty three and Amy number twenty four. She pulled away from Sheldon and he reached for her, but she scooted away just in time.

Amy stumbled forward and she was suddenly in Sheldon's arms. He resumed kissing, but he was now kissing Amy instead of Penny. Amy returned the kiss and like a woman possessed, she was pulling at his shirt and pants and before she knew it, he was down to his tighty-whities.

Penny took another couple of steps backward and finding a chair, she sat down and watched the two inexperienced nerds go at it. She smiled thinking it was cute and pathetic that they were so awkward.

Sheldon let out a gasp when he felt Amy yank down his shorts and his huge cock sprang free, He looked over at Penny and gave her a tiny wink. He turned back to Amy and began kissing her hard, trapping his cock between the two of them.

Penny was suddenly turned on, more then she had been in quite some time. She was amazed at the length and girth of Sheldon, never had she ever anticipated him being that large. She was mad at herself for pushing him away, she thought, "It should be me in his arms, with that huge cock pressing against my pussy, not Amy's!" She shook her head, clearing those thoughts as she watched Sheldon removing Amy's blouse. It hit the floor and Penny smiled when she saw the old grandmother's cotton bra holding her remarkably large breasts. She was hiding those, at least C cup tits behind a thick bra, and layers and layers of flannel and thick cardigans. She sat back and watched the show.

Amy's shaking hand gripped Sheldon's cock and her fingers couldn't close around the thickness. She stroked it vigorously and she stopped when she heard him moan.

"Don't stop Amy, that feels good!"

"You were moaning, I thought I was hurting you." She resumed stroking him and she stopped to allow Sheldon to pull her bra off. Her hand tightened and stroked him even harder.

Sheldon's moans and groans grew louder and he stiffened, "Oh no, no oh Amy, I can't hold off, stop, stop! He exploded and began shooting his cum all over her hand, wrist and it splattered against her wool skirt.

Amy was breathing heavily; her heavy breasts were rising and falling. She looked down, "Oh Sheldon, why, why couldn't you hold off? I'm so horny, what can you do about that?"

He broke from her embrace and stepped back and took a seat on the sofa, "Sorry Amy, I'm worn out." He looked over at Penny, "Do you have any more of that tasty iced tea?"

She stood up and poured more from her thermos. She still had the large to-go cup full. She placed the bottle back on the table and as she turned she saw poor Amy standing there, half naked and before she could sit back down, Amy grabbed her wrist and pulled her over to her.

"You told me earlier you were bi-sexual, show me what that entails, please I need some relief." She pulled Penny to her body and their lips met. Penny smiled to herself when she felt the sloppy, but urgent kiss she got from Amy.

Penny pulled back slightly and began peppering Amy's face and neck with kisses. Her tongue flicked out and started fires all over Amy's upper body. With one hand one her back, she lifted one of Amy's heavy tits to her waiting lips. Penny felt her shiver in her arms and slumped against her. This sent more tit flesh into her mouth and she nipped and sucked harder.

Amy threw her head back and cried out, "Oh my Penny, that is unusual, please keep it up." She gripped Penny's silky blonde hair and pulled it even harder.

Penny did as she was asked and nipped even harder. Her hands slid to her large bubble butt and yanking down the zipper, her wool skirt hit the floor. She struggled with Amy's tight black tights and she giggled when she saw the large, granny bloomers covering Amy's butt. She pulled them down and forced them off her squirming legs. She guided her to the sofa and made her land hard on her ass. She followed and dove in and was overcome with a pungent scent and a forest of dark hair. She pulled back, unable to lick at the wet pussy before her. She used her hands instead and began slipping first one, then a second finger into her tight snatch.

Amy was thrusting her hips upward, taking as much as she could. She saw Penny's two fingers slide in and out of her pussy and when she felt her uncover her hidden clit, she bit down on her lip and screamed out. She came hard against Penny's fingers and fell back to the sofa and passed out before she could even pull her fingers from her.

Penny was glad she didn't have to go down on her, she knew she was clean, but needed a lot of grooming and better feminine hygiene. She needed to speak to her, but knew it would be uncharted territory, if she could even bring it up at all. She hurried to the bathroom to wash the scent from her hands and went into the bedroom for a blanket to cover her naked body. She passed out from a combination of Long Island Iced Teas and the sex.

She managed to wake the sleeping Sheldon and she guided him to the car downstairs, she was glad Amy's elevator wasn't broken like hers. She hoped he's wake up and be more alert, she wasn't about to carry him up the flights of stairs to their apartments.

Once there, he was awake enough to walk up, but it seemed her didn't remember anything that happened at Amy's place. He began, "You were right, this was a very productive evening. I saw a whole new side of Amy Farrah Fowler tonight."

Penny ignored him, "I did not have sex with 32 guys."

"I'll be happy to check the math, but my head hurts too much and also, the numbers don't lie Penny. In any event, now that Amy and I have spent quality time together, I feel much more confident proceeding to the next stage of our relationship."

"And what is that, intercourse?"

Why would you say that, I haven't even kissed her yet? I'm talking about using in vitro fertilization and a surrogate uterus to gift humanity with our progeny."

It was obvious to Penny that Sheldon had no recollection of what occurred at Amy's earlier this evening. She knew those Long Island Ice Teas were miracle workers. "Come on, you can't still be on that."

"In these uncertain times, doesn't humanity deserve a gift?"

"Okay Sheldon, you know what? I'm gonna come at this in a whole new way. Sheldon, if you try to make a baby with Amy in a Petri dish, I'm gonna tell your mother on you."

"Well, that's no threat. My mother's always wanted a grandchild.

"Really? Your deeply religious, born-again Christian mother wants a test-tube grandbaby born out of wedlock?"

He stopped opening the door and turned to Penny, "Curses!"

She turned to go to her apartment, "If I's thought of that in the first place, I could've saved myself this whole cockamamie night."

He opened the door and staggered in, "Well, it's not that late. You could still go out and look for number 33." He looked shocked when Penny turned towards him with daggers coming from her eyes; he closed the door blurting out, "Goon night!"

The next morning, being Sunday morning, Leonard came out of his room in his robe and saw a hungover Sheldon working on several white boards at once, but was stuck, his mind was still fuzzy and he still couldn't remember why.

Leonard stopped and looked at him, "What you doing there? Working on a new plan to catch roadrunner? Heh, heh!"

"The humorous implication being that I am Wile E. Coyote?"

Leonard poured some coffee, "Yes!"

"And this is a schematic for a bird-trapping devise that will ultimately backfire and cause me physical injury?"

Leonard nodded, "Yes!"

Sheldon looked to him and gave him a fake laugh, "Okay, what I'm doing here is trying to determine when I'm going to die and that way my head is throbbing, it may be even sooner than I'm calculating."

It was Leonard's turn to chuckle, "Mm-hm, a lot of people are working on that research. "So what is all this!" He walks over to all of Sheldon's work.

Sheldon went on and on about how he was a few years short to achieve the plateau he was trying to reach.

Later that evening the guys were around the table paying Leonard for their share of the pizza, but Sheldon wasn't there to pay his portion, he was in the kitchen. Leonard turned to Penny just as she was about to take a bite of pizza.

She looked up at him, "What, oh you want me to pay."

Leonard shook his head, "No, that's okay, I got it."

"No, no you're right. We're not going out anymore, I should pay for myself."

Raj whispered in Howard's ear and they both began giggling.

Penny got her billfold out and looked annoyed at them, "What?"

Howard couldn't stop smiling, "He said if he had woman parts, he'd eat for free the rest of his life."

Penny stared at Raj, "Yeah, but you wouldn't be able to talk to yourself." She looked in her billfold, "I'm a little low on cash."

"How much you got?"

"Nothing!"

"How can you walk around with no money?"

"I'm cute...... I get by!"

"It's okay, you can owe me." He yells into the kitchen, "Sheldon, six bucks."

"Oh, no thank you, I'm not eating pizza tonight."

Penny picks up her plate, "But its Thursday. Thursday's pizza night."

"Not for me, Thursday is now cruciferous vegetable night. Tonight's selection...... Brussels sprouts."