Birthday Girl Ch. 08

J-Lo went into his house and grabbed a round of chilled Corona's. We sat on his lawn, at four thirty in the morning and sipped the beers once again joking and messing around.

"So how the hell do we get these off?" Bean held up his hand which still had his half of the cuff around it.

"We'll figure it out tomorrow. I'm just glad I don't have to sleep in the same bed with you," Nick said.

"You're no Megan Fox either dude, so that makes two of us," Bean shot back.

The banter continued until Bill, who was falling asleep while sitting, finally suggested we call it a night. We were all dead tired so we agreed. Bean and Shaq decided to crash at J-Lo's so Helmet only had to give Bill, Nick and me a ride.

"Thanks guys, I'm not going to forget this night anytime soon," Nicks said as he said goodbye to everyone, "I expect you all at my wedding, standing right by my side and to hell with anyone who says I can't have six best men."

"Hear hear," we agreed with him.

"I love you guys man," He said as he got into the car.

"It didn't look like it this afternoon at the track," Shaq quipped.

Nick held up the finger as we pulled away.

************************************

We stumbled like blind idiots into my house and collapsed heavily on the sofa, Nick letting off a loud squeak and instantly raising his butt off the couch. I started sniggering and couldn't stop as Nick tried to find a comfortable position in his inebriated condition. Every time he lowered his butt he sprang up again like a jack-in-a-box.

"Can you stop laughing, this is all your fault!" He shouted, "every time I try to sit it feels like there's someone branding a red hot poker on my ass."

That just made me laugh harder and I almost rolled off the couch, picturing a branding iron and a screaming Nick bent over a cattle rod.

"I'm sorry man," I managed to say between laughing, "but it's just too funny."

Finally he found a spot that wasn't affecting him too much and settled down.

"I'm not going to be able to sit straight for a week and I have dinners lined up almost every day with relatives and Jenna's parents. You guys are assholes man."

"Blame J-Lo, he was the one after your ass."

"Yeah, he's always had it in for me," he said as he shifted and winced in pain, "but that doesn't make you any better."

We sat for a while in the dark, the room starting to spin, giving that horrible dizzy and puking feeling if we tried to close our eyes. It was a shitty place to be, wanting desperately to sleep but feeling nauseous when you tried to. Time to start stunted drunken conversation to pass the time until we eventually passed out.

"Dude..."

He didn't reply.

"Dude..." I tried to shove him but I was too drunk and my hand just slipped off his arm.

"I'm listening you dick."

"You're getting married in a month dude," I stated in wonder, as if I'd just discovered gravity.

"You figured that out all by yourself?"

"Yeah, I'm smart like that."

"What's your point?"

"Nothing, just thought I'd remind you in case you forgot."

We were silent for a few minutes, listening to the ticking of the clock in the hallway.

"You better not change," I said, trying not to sound too emotional.

"The hell do you mean by that?" he asked, turning his head to look at me.

"You know, after you get married and shit. Suddenly you can't go out anymore because the in-laws are coming over, you don't have time for your friends because you have an eight o'clock curfew, and all sorts of crap like that."

"You honestly think I'd do that?"

"I swear the day I call you for a drink and you tell me some crap like you have tickets for the Opera, I will personally come to your house and kick the living shit out of you."

He chuckled, "I'm telling you, none of it will ever happen, trust me."

"How do you know?" I asked, so serious you'd think we were discussing matters of national security.

"Are you forgetting who I'm getting married to?"

I thought about it for a moment. My alcohol altered brain was running a little slow.

"You have a point," I agreed, nodding sagely.

"She loves you just as much as I do, she'll never let things change. Besides, who else will hang out with your sorry ass? You're kind of a pain to be around," he said, laying his head back on the sofa, "And if I'm going for Opera I'm dragging you along with me. No way am I suffering alone."

I just grumbled, calling him a pompous prick under my breath.

"How are things with Melissa?" he asked, cocking his fingers like a gun and shooting imaginary ducks out of the air.

Now that brought a smile to my face. A big ridiculous smile. I was staring off into space, reliving that strip tease she performed for me a few days ago.

"Hey stupid," Nick elbowed me, "I'm talking to you."

"Huh?" I snapped out of it, "Yeah, yeah, awesome man."

Things were silent again for a while.

"I think she's the one," I said quietly, mostly to myself.

Nick slowly turned his head towards me again, "No way. I don't believe it."

"What?"

"I never thought I'd see the day. My boy's in Luuuurrrr-"

"If you finish that statement I will punch you in the face," I interrupted before he could finish.

He got that shit eating grin on his face and I just prayed neither of us would remember any of this tomorrow morning.

"Then why is she the one?"

He wasn't going to let this go. Not by a long shot.

"I don't know, it's everything. It's hard to explain, she's just... perfect for me,"

He was about to answer when he saw me trying to look over the back of the couch.

"What are you doing?"

"Did you hear something?" I asked as I squinted to see better. We hadn't even bothered to switch on the lights.

"Don't start that shit right now man, I'm in no mood,"

"No I'm serious, I think I heard the door. Did we lock it?"

"I can't remember what we just talked about a minute ago and you expect me to remember if we locked the freaking door?"

"You've become a bloody lightweight man, you could drink a lot more back in the day,"

"Look who's talking. You were stumbling around after your fifth shot,"

We started bickering again and forgot all about the noise. Drunk minds are never the most attentive minds.

"Yo dude, where the hell is Eve?" he asked suddenly, "I haven't seen her in so long."

I smiled at the memory of Eve. My beautiful mistress.

"I know man, I've been neglecting her a lot since Lissy's come into my life,"

"Not fair dude, your first love always comes first, you know that,"

"Oh she came first all right," I snickered, "right after I rode her like a bitch in heat."

"When? I thought you said you've been caught up with Liss all this time?"

"Last weekend Liss had to go out with her sisters so I was home free. Dude, I'm telling you, getting my hands on her after so long, I made her scream like a fucking banshee."

"You lucky bastard."

"You don't know the half of it. After our last date she purred like a kitten when I feathered her, and when I finally stuck it to her she went wild,"

"And Liss doesn't suspect anything?"

I shook my head, "Absolutely clueless. I think she'd leave me if she ever found out."

"Think? My friend, she'd head out the door so fast your head would spin."

"You might be right about that one,"

"She still look as sexy as ever?"

"Even better. I got her a boob job."

Nicks mouth just hung open.

"When I'm with her in public, guys get that same exact reaction," I said, pointing to his open mouth, "at least the ones who are into her type."

"Beauty and brains, Liss has got some competition."

"It's no competition, first love is always special, hard to beat that,"

"What's going to happen when Liss finds out you've been cheating on her?"

Again I heard a noise and tried to look over the couch. The high had gone down a little and I wasn't as numb as before and I definitely thought I heard something.

"You heard it this time right?" I asked Nick.

"Stop changing the subject you cunt. Answer me!"

Apparently Nick was still sensory depraved. Can't blame him though, he'd had the most to drink.

"I'm not kidding Nick-"

"Can you stop being paranoid and just relax? There was no noise, no one's got time to rob your humble abode."

The high may have been going down but I was in no way sober. Not even close. Nick was probably right, I must have just been imagining things. Maybe it was a cat. Anyway I was too lazy to get up and check. Turning back to Nick we resumed our conversation, forgetting about any peculiar noises I might have heard.

**************************************

Melissa stood outside the front door, hands over her mouth, the tears already beginning to form. She couldn't believe what she'd just heard. Her heart refused to accept it but her brain was already throwing up the walls.

Not again, she thought as the tears finally spilled over, not Brian!