Bj Bar Talk

The other afternoon I was sitting at a bar with a buddy and he exclaimed from nowhere (other than perhaps his second pitcher) that there was no such thing as a bad blow job. I had two women sitting to my right and glanced over to see if they had heard him. They seemed to be deep in conversation and apparently hadn't noticed his statement. So I told my friend about the worst blow job I had ever had.

She was a big tall girl, 6ft 3in, big boned and maybe 175 pounds. We had been fucking for an hour or so. She came three or four times and I couldn't hold back much longer. I pulled out and laid my cock on her chin. She opened wide and I pushed into her mouth. Because of her size I mistakenly thought that she could take all 10 inches. I pushed all the way down her throat and blew my load. She threw it all up including the four or so beers she had drunk that evening. It made a pretty big mess and "spoiled the moment" as well as my sheets and a pillowcase.

He laughed and the next thing I knew the two women had moved, one on either side of my buddy and me. The one next to me was sitting so close that her left knee was pushing against my right.

"OK, we heard the worst blowjob story. Tell us the best." I told her that was tough but could come up with a couple.

"Go on, I'm interested." she said, her knee pressing tighter against mine. I wondered if she was interested in the story or my 10 incher but told about one very sloppy (drooling really) woman who seemed to genuinely enjoy it and in fact would rather suck than fuck. Then I told her about a woman whose favorite saying was "Eve wasn't put on this earth so Adam had someone to play gin rummy with." She really felt that it was a woman's place to please her man; do anything he requested.

"But which was better?" she asked. I told her that I'd answer that but she was expected to answer some questions too. She agreed and I told her the drooling one was best because she just flat enjoyed the process and the taste. I added that the guy had some responsibilities also. He needed to keep it clean and eat a lot of fruit. I had found that almost all women, who will suck a cock, want it very clean.

My buddy added, "That means everything below the belt. If you want a woman to lick your balls she probably doesn't want to smell your dirty asshole."

I recalled one girl who referred to herself as a 'Dirty cock-Sucking Slut' but I had only ever known one like that. Ass to mouth and rimming were her favorites.

I said that the throw up girl was really my fault. I shouldn't have pushed but instead let her decide how much she could handle.

Her friend chimed in with "Does a woman have to swallow to make it good for a man?"

My buddy and I both emphatically said "YES". I added that swallowing the whole cock wasn't really essential but the load was and that deep-throating really was more of a visual thing for a guy than a sensory thing, at least for me. In a '69' deep-throating really did nothing for me but might for some. I added that every guy and every cock are different just like every pussy. I felt my neighbor squirming a bit.

"What else makes a blow job memorable? I mean what can a woman do to be the best besides just swallowing your load?" I liked the way this conversation was going.

I told her it was my turn for a question but I'd answer anyway. "Curiosity and patience are key. I want a woman to look me in the eyes so she can judge what works for me and what doesn't. Remember, all cocks are different, just like every pussy." She squirmed again and I swear I could smell her juices flowing.

"What about patience?" her friend asked.

"What's the hurry? Put your exploration to good use. I once knew a girl who could get me off in 5 minutes. She was proud of that; had done her exploration and knew my cock well, all the places to use her tongue or her lips, when to suck, when to just puff out her cheeks and blow, and knew when to open wide and swallow. I was powerless to resist. Notice that I didn't list her as the best.

A great cock-sucking is something to be savored by all the senses. The drooler once worked me for 4 hours. I'm happy to eat a pussy for an hour or so. A good cock-sucker should do the same." I was sure about her juice scent now.

It was my turn for a question which I addressed to the now very horny woman to my right. "Do you enjoy sucking cock and why or why not?"

"Actually I love it. I love the taste of a man, before, during and after he cums. But most of all I'm a sort of control freak. When I'm grazing a man's cock with my teeth and holding his balls in my hand I am in absolute control of his body. I can inflict great pain or give great pleasure."

It was my turn to squirm.

"Now about that pussy eating", she asked.

"When can I start?" was my reply. It was a hell of a night.