Blind Faith

"What are you doing here?" she asked with a worried look.

"Everything's all right," he said. "I just stopped by to get something. Why are you home?"

"I got out early today, so I decided to cook up an elaborate dinner. Don't look. All I can tell you is that you, Jeremy and Pam each get one of your favorite dishes."

"Who was that man who just left?"

"What man?"

"He looked like an electrician."

"Oh! That man. He was just here a few minutes taking care of some problem in the basement. Probably caused by the new cameras."

"Why didn't you call Charley?"

"It was such a little thing that I didn't want to bother Charley. He would have sent someone across town and then not charged us for it. So I just called this guy in our neighborhood. It only cost a few bucks."

"Fine. I'll get my oil and get out of here. I can't wait to get home to see what my chef has cooked up."

He tried to grab her and kiss her, but she turned her head.

"Get out of here, Balek!" she ordered. "You're going to make me burn something."

***********

The next morning, Hon was in a good mood. She usually left almost at the same time as the children, but she lingered at the breakfast table sipping a second cup of coffee and watching Balek clean up.

"What are you and the children going to be doing?" she asked him.

"Don't you remember? This is the weekend of the sixth grade nature trip for Jeremy, and Pam is going camping with Liz and her family. I'll be the only one in civilization."

"All alone in an empty house? Don't go crazy. I'll be checking on you on my laptop."

"Ha! Ha! You forgot that we decided not to spend the extra money for a live video feed. It's going to be a wild party, and you won't see anything until you watch the video when you come home."

"I doubt that. You'll probably turn off the master switch."

"I forgot about that. Yeah. I saw the salesman looking at you when he said it was for 'uh, privacy.' What does he think we do anyway?"

She ignored his question, took a last sip of coffee and stood up. She looked down for a moment and thought of something, then shook herself and walked to Balek and embraced him and gave him a long, deep kiss.

"Wow!" he said when she released him. "I've been missing that. I just realized that we haven't, uh, had any privacy in a while. Maybe we can, uh, make up for lost time when you get home."

"Maybe," she said, smiling at him and then said something else as she turned to go.

"What was that?" he said. "I didn't hear you."

She turned and her smile was bright.

"I said, maybe, but not Sunday night because I won't be home until after ten and I'll be exhausted."

"Okay," he said, "but let's not wait much longer or we'll forget how to do it."

She watched him as he laughed but didn't join in.

**************

He waited up for her on Sunday and watched her rush into the house from the garage. She seemed excited and eager until she saw him and stopped in her tracks. Her expression changed to one of irritation for a moment, and then she smiled.

"You're still up."

"Just wanted to welcome you back and see if maybe you had more, uh, energy than you thought you would."

Her shoulders slumped, her face loosened and her voice got soft as she spoke.

"I'm sorry, but I'm really dead. And I've still got some work to do on my laptop. You should go to bed."

"All right, but don't stay up too late. You need some rest."

When he was brushing his teeth, he waited to see whether she was going to empty her suitcase in the bedroom as she usually did, but she was still in her office.

**************

"You don't look happy," he said to her at breakfast the next morning.

She looked at the kids and at him.

"It's nothing. I'm a bit disappointed with something I was working on. I found out it's still got some bugs, but I'll work them out. I've got another meeting tonight after work, so don't wait on me for dinner. Just keep my plate warm."

She had late meetings two more times that week. On Thursday, he and the kids talked about her while they were waiting.

"Something's going on," said Pam. "Mom just isn't herself. When she comes home, she hardly says hello before locking herself in her office with her damn laptop. She's not in there long, but when she comes out, she looks really disappointed."

"It's probably the secret project she's working on," Balek said. "She was so sure it would go smoothly, but something isn't working. I know what that's like -- when something that's really important isn't going the way you want it to. But I could always talk about it with Mom, and it made me feel better just knowing she understood and was pulling for me..."

"What can we do?" asked Jeremy.

"Nothing," Balek said. "We just have to wait it out and cut her a lot of slack. You two keep giving her all the hugs you can. She doesn't want any from me right now."

"I'm sorry, Dad," Pam said. "This is hard on you, too."

"Don't worry about me. Just try to make things as easy as you can on your mother. You're already doing that, I know. We all just have to be patient."

***************

Balek had been preparing a fun weekend with Jeremy and Pam while Hon was out of town and thought it was all set. But Friday at breakfast, he found out they had both made other plans for the weekend.

"Why did you do that after I told you I had plans for us?" he asked, bewildered.

"Because you're going fishing with Bill and Mel," Pam said.

"No I'm not. Who told you that? That's not for a couple of weeks."

"I'm sorry," Hon said. "I think I got the dates mixed up and told them the wrong weekend. It's my fault."

"That's all right, Mom!" Jeremy piped up. "Don't feel bad about it. Dad's not really mad, are you, Dad?"

"Of course not," Balek said, trying to hide his disappointment. "Don't give it another thought. I'll just reschedule everything, but it might have to wait until spring, because the weather will probably be too cold. The way it looks, we may need a lot of brandy on our fishing trip because we might be ice fishing."

He laughed a forced laugh and so did the kids.

His disappointment at being alone for the weekend affected his mood at O'Blivion's that night. He drank more and laughed louder and longer than usual.

He didn't do much talking. He just mostly listened and reacted to the others. He noticed that nobody brought up Raven, and he was glad, because he didn't feel like making up any outrageous stories at the moment. It was late when he staggered home to an empty house.

*******************

On Sunday night, he didn't wait up for Hon, and he didn't hear when she came to bed.

The next morning, she was in a funk. No amount of cheering up by him and the kids seemed to help.

"Hon, whatever it is you're doing, it's taking a lot out of you," Balek finally said. "You seem to be really disappointed. I don't know what happened over the weekend, and I know you love your job, but maybe you should think about a change."

"It's not worth it!" Jeremy said.

"You're so down all the time," Pam said, tears streaming from her eyes.

Looking at Pam, Hon began crying, too, and then got herself under control.

"I'm so sorry," she said as she grabbed each of the children and planted a wet kiss on them. "The last thing I ever wanted was for this to hurt you."

"Give Dad a kiss, too!" Pam said.

Hon hesitated and then went to Balek and gave him a quick peck on the cheek before turning back to the children. She spoke slowly, carefully picking her words.

"What I'm working on is nearly done. I can't tell you about it, but it's frustrating for my team. It's like a TV mystery. There's a suspect who's done something bad, and everybody knows the suspect is guilty, but we need the evidence to convict, and we're frustrated. We're working hard, and I know we'll get what we need. I know you won't say anything to anyone because even what I told you is more than you should know."

The children and Balek listened in fascination to her explanation. Balek motioned for everybody to stand up and then gathered his wife and children into his arms and squeezed all of them together and held them that way for nearly a minute.

When they broke apart, everyone's eyes were moist.

"Thanks, Dad!" Pam said quietly. "We needed that."

**************

Monday night, Balek and the children agreed that not much had changed with Hon, except she was trying to pretend for their sake that she wasn't depressed.

She had told them at breakfast that she had an important meeting that night after work that would hopefully mark the completion of one phase of her project. The only other late meeting would be Thursday, and she'd have the weekend free to spend with family.

Tuesday morning, Pam tentatively asked her how well last night's meeting had gone.

"Good. No, excellent! That part's done, and I don't have to think about it anymore."

"You don't seem that happy about it," Jeremy said.

"I'm happy it's over, but the whole thing leaves a bad taste in my mouth."

They saw she didn't want to say anything more.

***************

Everything changed Thursday night.

Balek and the children were just finishing dinner when Hon stormed into the kitchen. She stopped and stood still for a moment. Her eyes gleamed as she looked at Balek, ignoring the children. She spoke to him as if they weren't there.

"I got it!" she exclaimed triumphantly. "It's over!"

The children cheered as they and Balek jumped up from the table and rushed to embrace her. She cried as she held them, repeating again, "It's over, it's finally over."

"Dad, make Mom a drink!" ordered Jeremy.

"Coming up!"

They sat watching her sip the vodka martini. They could tell she had mixed emotions about what she had been through, but the main one was relief.

"Does this mean our crazy family can go back to being normal crazy?" Balek asked.

Hon looked into his eyes and didn't answer right away.

"Not just yet. There are still some loose ends to tie up. The main thing now is timing. We want to pick the best time and make doubly sure that everything is in place. It will probably be after Christmas.

"But all the hard work is done. Just a few more meetings and most of them won't be long, so you'll have to put up with me again most of the time."

"A fate worse than death!" said Jeremy with a laugh.

Balek wanted to celebrate in bed that night, but Hon said she needed a little more time to come down and asked him to be patient for a while longer.

As the days went by, it turned out a little while longer was much longer, but although he was frustrated, Balek was proud of the fact that he had never pressured his wife for sex from the day he met her. Their mutual attraction saw to it that they had made love often. He decided that her mind must still be overwhelmed with her project and the last thing she needed was for him to make her feel guilty about his expectations.

She was definitely more herself after Thursday, and the only thing out of the ordinary that Balek noticed was that she seemed to spend a lot of time watching him. If he noticed and turned to her, she looked at him in the eyes unflinchingly but didn't say anything. He wondered if she was doing the same thing with the children, but if she was, he didn't see it.

True to her word, she was home nearly every evening. And with the start of the holiday season, she had only a couple more weekend trips scheduled through the rest of the year.

***********

On the fishing trip, Balek took Bill aside for a moment and asked him about something he was wondering about.

"Not that I'm complaining, but I noticed that no one's talking about Raven anymore. Is there a reason?"

"Yes," Bill said. "One night when you left early we were talking about you, and everyone got depressed."

"Why?"

"Because we all know that sooner or later it will destroy your marriage. We all like you and Hon, and we like you together. So we're sort of in mourning."

"Oh!"

On Monday, Balek told Raven about the conversation, then added: "I think we need to finish the joke and tell them what we did."

"I was thinking about that, too, and I have a way to do it," she said.

"How?"

"At the company Christmas party in a couple of weeks, I'll make sure each of your friends has plenty to drink. Then I'll share our joke with them one at a time. They'll be drunk and happy that you're not cheating on Hon, and they won't say anything because of all the other people at the party."

"Good idea."

************

That night at dinner, Hon told her family that she was training someone to take over her job. She said Rip was a new employee, and training him was a pleasure. He was smart and learning fast.

"Does this mean you've been promoted?" Balek asked.

"Not exactly, but there's a good chance that I'll be moving to a completely different assignment."

"I hope it's not as stressful," Pam said.

"Well, it might be at the beginning, and the family may suffer, but I think that eventually it will be better for everyone."

"Rip, that's a funny name," said Jeremy.

"It's a nickname," Hon explained.

"How did he get it?" asked Pam.

"When you see him, you'll understand. He's ripped. All the women at the office are jealous because I'm alone with him almost the whole day. He's also handsome and really nice and considerate. He's a real gentleman."

"Watch out Dad!" Jeremy said, and the others looked at Balek and laughed. Hon continued to look at him intently when the laughter stopped, and then she got up and began clearing the table.

**************

At O'Blivion's Friday night, Charley whispered in his ear and asked him if he'd ever heard of a guy named Rip.

"Yes, he's working with Hon," Balek said.

"What's he doing with her?"

"He's learning her job because he's going to take it over."

"I guess that explains it," Charley said.

A little while later, there was almost a repeat of the same conversation with Bill.

Even though it was another weekend without Hon or the kids, Balek didn't stay late, and he was sober when he got home. He was watching TV on the couch when he heard his mobile phone ring in his office.

"Damn!" he said as he stubbed his toe on a chair leg rushing to retrieve the call. He saw it was from Hon. As he answered, he wondered why she was calling him on the cell phone.

He heard her voice saying something, but she wasn't speaking into the phone, and there was music in the background.

"Butt call," he said to himself and went back to the couch.

Later, as he passed his office on the way upstairs to bed, he saw a small light on. It was his phone. He picked it up and saw that he had never disconnected the call and Hon hadn't either. He hung up and went to bed.

**************

Hon got back in time for dinner Sunday night. She didn't say much, but he saw that she was looking at him a lot.

Monday night, she attacked him in bed. She was in a frenzy of lust, and he had to stop her several times and ask her to slow down because he didn't want to come too soon.

"I don't care," she said, resisting his efforts.

"But I do. You can't make up for lost time in just a few minutes. Let's take it easy and enjoy it."

Despite her attempts to speed him up, he managed to hold on until she had a huge orgasm.

"You damn bastard!" she said softly through her teeth as she came. At least that's what it sounded like to Balek.

He waited for her to say something else, but she didn't. When he went to cuddle her in his arms, she pushed him away and went to the bathroom. She was there a long time, and he was almost asleep when she came to bed. She gave him a quick kiss and then lay down with her back to him.

Almost the same thing happened the next two nights. She made love with abandon and went all out from the moment they started. All Balek could do was hold on for the ride and try to not come before her.

The third night he didn't succeed and apologized and said he was ready to try again. But before he could finish speaking, she was already in the bathroom. She once again gave him a quick kiss when she came back to bed and then turned away.

Thursday morning she told everyone she was having an intensive dinner session with Rip that night but she wouldn't be home too late.

She arrived when the kids were asleep. Balek was watching TV on the couch when she flew in. He looked up at her and noticed she was a mess.

Most women would have been glad to look as good as she did now, he thought, as he took in her wrinkled blouse, crooked skirt, unkempt hair and smeared lipstick.

"I am completely beat," she said. "I'm going to take a quick shower to freshen up. When you're finished here, come to bed."

He wondered if that was an invitation. He turned off the TV, got up slowly and walked up the stairs. When he got to the bedroom, it looked like a hurricane had hit it. The clothes she had been wearing were strewn everywhere. He gathered them all and took them to the laundry room.

He waited in the bedroom and heard the shower being turned off. A minute later, Hon walked in naked drying her hair. She looked around.

"Where are my clothes?" she said.

"I put them in the hamper."

She stopped drying herself and her eyes bored into his for a few moments before she spoke.

"Oh! Thanks."

It turned out she didn't feel like having sex that night. Balek was disappointed, but he felt the three previous nights in a row were a good sign that she was getting back to normal.

That weekend everyone was involved in Christmas preparations. They bumped into each other often, either leaving, coming home or in stores. Sometimes Balek was working on something together with Pam or Jeremy or both, and sometimes Hon was. Balek only worked with Hon once, and they didn't talk much while they were untangling the lights so that he and Jeremy could put them up.

He noticed that Hon often watched him with the children, and whenever she did, she had a sad expression on her face. All the next week, he saw her continue to observe him and the kids silently at breakfast and each evening.

Friday night, they dropped the kids off at friends for overnights and then drove to the Christmas party.

Balek watched Raven as she went up to each of his O'Blivion's crew and confessed their joke. They all took it well, almost too well. They each drank almost as much as they did on Friday nights, and they got sloppy and sentimental when they spoke to him, telling him what a great Christmas present Raven had given them and how much they loved him and Hon.

He had to join in their toasts and by the time the party ended, he was so far gone that he didn't remember Hon getting him to the car and driving him home.

The next morning, he woke up with a headache, looked at the clock and cursed. It was nearly eleven and the day was half-gone.

He walked gingerly downstairs, and when he got to the kitchen, he saw Hon sitting on a lounge chair outside and staring straight ahead. It was cold, and she was bundled up. When he opened the kitchen door, she jumped at the noise and turned around. She looked at him, sighed, got up and walked slowly to the house.

He poured them both a cup of coffee and sat down at the kitchen table watching her come inside and pull off her sweater. He wanted to tell her how beautiful she looked, but he saw a stern expression on her face, so he knew she wasn't in the mood for frivolity.

She didn't look at him as she walked right past him to her office. He turned around in surprise in time to see her walking back to the kitchen with a large, stuffed manila envelope in her hand. She was crying.

"What's that?"

"Shut up, Balek!" she said through her tears as she handed him the envelope.

He looked at her in bewilderment as she began speaking bitterly.

"You win, you -- no I'm not going to call you any of the names I've been calling you in my mind. What's the use?