Blind Faith

Yes, she would do that. She would never be able to turn back time - she had abandoned her village and herself, and there was no way to undo that. But a fierce determination started to well up inside of Kokona - she had to find at least one person. She had to apologize, she had to prostrate herself before them and beg for their forgiveness. Kohuni was long gone, but some of its people still remained.

She could set things right. After all, she was an eight-tail! There was nothing that someone like her couldn't do, right? It was like Kaito said...as long as she kept believing that in that idea, one day, she could make it happen. Kokona smiled, nodding to herself, offering a silent prayer to the gods, thanking them for creating Kaito.

As if in response, the door to the bathroom suddenly opened and Kaito walked in, holding one hand to the wall to guide himself and holding a stack of clean towels with the other. Kokona yelped at the sudden entrance, moving to cover herself as she leaned away, sending drops of water over the edge of the tub.

"Oh!" Kaito exclaimed, quickly back-stepping. "I apologize! It was so quiet in here that I thought you had finished, so I came to replace the towels."

Kokona winced and mentally berated herself. Stupid! He couldn't even see her, what was she getting so worked up for?

"I'll just leave these here," Kaito said, crouching down and placing the towels on the floor. He turned his head away from the bathtub, concealing a faint reddening of his face.

"Thank you," Kokona mumbled, settling down as Kaito closed the door and left.

She groaned and slapped herself, sinking back down into the water.

"Pull yourself together," she scolded. "You're two hundred years old, for goodness sake..."

********************

Kokona left the bath shortly after, feeling refreshed and clean for the first time in a long time. She ran into Kaito again, who was boiling water for tea. He apologized again for walking in on her, but she shook her head and assured him that it was fine. As she helped him make the tea, she realized something that something was missing, and went to his house's exit to check something. Peeking through the window, she confirmed that she was right.

"When did the rain stop?" she asked, peering upwards. The sky was still filled with dark clouds, but cracks were forming in the blanket of clouds, letting blue sky shine through.

"About half an hour ago, when you started your bath."

Goodness. Had she been in there for that long? Kokona looked at her fingers - it was surprising that they hadn't become wrinkled from all the water.

Kaito announced that the tea was done, and she returned to the kitchen. They shared the beverage along with some comfortable, soft conversation. They learned new things about each other - Kaito revealed that he had a deep love for music, sharing his delight at the flux of new songs, instruments, and musicians that found their way to Akyo. Kokona listened intently, happy to learn more about him. She let him take lead of the conversation - she wasn't quite ready to talk about herself.

After a while, Kokona's ears perked up, hearing footsteps approaching from outside. Someone knocked three times on the door.

"Ah," Kaito chuckled. "I think I know who that is."

"Sensei!" a young female voice cried. "Sensei, I'm coming in, okay!"

Kokona and Kaito turned in preparation to greet the new voice.

"I came to check on youuu...huh?" a young nekomata rounded the corner of the house, stopping in surprise when she saw Kokona. She had short, brown hair, and a large pair of feline ears crested the top of her head. She wore simple, white clothing that covered her body, keeping her warm in the chilly air, and a tail that split into two ends poked out from behind her, drifting around absentmindedly.

"Nyeh?" she hummed, tilting her head like a cat. "Who are you, miss fox?"

"Yui," Kaito greeted, nodding in her direction. "This is Kokona, my guest. She was caught in the storm last night, so I offered her a place to stay."

"Hello," Kokona offered, trying to give a genuine smile. She wasn't sure if she succeeded or not.

"Hi," Yui said plainly, her expression unreadable. She tilted her head the other direction, looking at Kokona curiously. "Hmm. Okay."

Kokona was about to ask what she was doing, but Yui answered first.

"Okay!" she exclaimed cheerfully. "I like you. Let's be friends!"

"Wha-huh?" Kokona blinked. "Just like that?"

"Yeah, why not?" Yui sat down and leaned her body side to side, smiling.

"Yui moves rather quickly," Kaito chuckled. "I'm afraid if she's taken a liking to you, you won't be escaping. I speak from experience..."

"Ah," Kokona nodded, her tails curling up and flicking around. "So this must be the apprentice you mentioned."

"Yep yep!" Yui nodded. "Sensei is teaching me how to talk to people and make them happy again!"

"I use the word teaching loosely," Kaito clarified.

"I see," Kokona said. "Okay, Yui...we can be friends if you want to."

"Woohoo!" she cheered. "I made another friend!"

"Well done, Yui," Kaito smiled. The expression made him look...fatherly. "Ah, that reminds me. Now that you're here, Yui, would you mind doing me a favor?"

"Yep yep," Yui nodded. "What can I do, Sensei?"

"Two favors, actually," Kaito corrected. "First, miss Kokona's clothes were soaked through last night. Would you mind putting them up to dry?"

"Sure sure," Yui said. "I can ask my mom if she has anything that would fit you, miss Kokona. She's about the same size as you, and really pretty, like you! And she makes nice clothes for a living, so I'm sure you'll like it!"

"That's very kind of you, Yui," Kokona smiled. "Thank you."

"And the other thing," Kaito continued, clearing his throat. "I think it's safe to say you'll be spending at least another day here, right?"

"If you would be so gracious, I would not refuse," Kokona said politely, inclining her head.

"You can take as long as you need. I meant that." Turning back to Yui, he continued. "So, Yui, do you think you could borrow a book or two from the library? I don't really have anything for miss Kokona to do here."

"Ooh, yeah!" Yui beamed. "I can do that. I can bring you a fun game to play, too!"

Launching herself to her feet with youthful energy, she placed her hands on her hips with confidence.

"I'll go do it right now!" she declared proudly, pouncing and moving towards the door.

"Ah, Yui!" Kaito called out to her, but it was too late. "Ah, she forgot your clothes."

"It's alright," Kokona smiled. "I have no urgent need of them."

There was a brief pause. Kokona scratched an itch behind one of her ears.

"It was nice to meet your apprentice," she added. "She seems like a very nice girl."

Kaito nodded thoughtfully. "She's come a long way since her father passed. Her mother has told me on many occasions how much happier the girl has become."

"It seems like she really looks up to her 'sensei'," Kokona giggled, covering her laughter with one hand.

"Perhaps she's grown a little too energetic," he grumbled. "Makes me feel like an old man, sometimes."

"You seem like you would be a very good father," Kokona said softly. When she realized what she just said, her tails twisted together as her cheeks flushed.

Kaito seemed taken aback, yet considered her statement with aplomb.

"Think so, eh?" he chuckled. "That's flattering of you, but I doubt it'll ever happen. I'm just a blind fool who talks a lot."

"You're not a fool!" she exclaimed, much louder than she meant to.

The statement hung in the air, creating an awkward mood. Kaito looked in her direction, eyes concealed by the blindfold. His mouth opened, but closed without saying anything.

"Don't say that," Kokona said, much more softly. She gripped her arm with one hand and looked away, ears drooping. "You're not a fool, so..."

"I'm sorry," Kaito said honestly. "I was only speaking in jest. I didn't mean to upset you."

"I-it's fine," Kokona said. "I spoke too quickly, as well. I just...didn't want to hear you talk about yourself like that. Because...I know how subtle these things can be."

"Ah," Kaito hummed. "I think I understand. Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not yet," Kokona said, shaking her head. "But I will...soon. I just need some more time to reflect."

"Of course. But, if I may...I have a suggestion."

"What's that?"

"There's a big festival coming up, the day after tomorrow," Kaito explained. "It's a new tradition that Akyo celebrates annually. This is only the fifth one, but it's become very popular. The entire city goes all-out for it."

"Tomorrow," Kaito sighed, "I think you should go and visit Lady Hana, the inari in charge of the temple here in Akyo. Explain your situation to her - I know she will be more than willing to take you in as you find your feet again."

"And you think I should busy myself by helping her prepare for this festival," Kokona surmised.

"Precisely," Kaito nodded. "I really do think it will help you, to get out and see the city for yourself, to meet some new people and work towards a shared goal."

Kokona frowned. She didn't relish the idea, but Kaito was probably right, as he had always been since she had met him. There would never be a perfect time to reveal her past, there would never be a time when she was perfectly prepared to share her feelings. But still, she needed just a little more time. Tomorrow...yes. That could work. She would need some time alone to meditate, but she would have her thoughts ordered as neatly as they could be by tomorrow.

"Very well," she said neutrally. "I concur, that would be a good idea. I will go and meet Lady Hana tomorrow."

"Good to hear," he smiled. "Now, I think I'll go take a bath, myself. You can sit wherever you like and do your thinking. Just...make a noise if I'm about to walk into you, alright?"

"Of course," Kokona giggled. "Thank you once again, Kaito."

********************

Kokona spent the remainder of her day in quiet contemplation. Yui returned about an hour after she left, offering Kokona a stack of three books that she thought Kokona might like, a wooden box that apparently held a game called 'nyan-cala', and a simple box that held a set of plain red robes in it. It fit her surprisingly well, keeping Kokona warm and comfortable. When she asked Yui how she had managed to find something that matched her form so well, Yui just stuck up two fingers in a V shape and proclaimed that she had a good eye for taking measurements, a skill finely honed by growing up as the daughter of a tailor.

Yui stayed and talked with her for a while, but the sky rumbled, threatening to rain again. Yui departed not long after, dreading the idea of being caught in the downpour. Kokona smiled at the girl's kindness, and waved at her as she left. She decided to sit outside for a while, under the cover of the overhead roof. She sat down and watched people walk by, taking in the atmosphere of the city. She smiled as she watched the neighbor's raiju kits playing out in the street, their mother coming out to fetch them. She remained outside as the first drops of rain began to fall, watching the people dash back to their homes. Eventually, the rain intensified, and she withdrew back inside.

She spared a glance towards the game and books that Yui had brought, but shook her head. Those could wait. She returned to the living room, sitting down next to the fireplace cross-legged. She inhaled deeply, and closed her eyes. She had a lot to think about. She let her mind drift to the past - considering how she had acted, and why she had done so. The memories were painful to dig through, but she pressed herself forward. She needed to do this.

She spent her entire evening like that, having lost track of time. She blinked, waking from her trance-like state, and stifling a yawn. It wasn't especially late, but she found Kaito and told him that she was retiring for the night. Taking one of the books Yui gave her, she slipped into bed. With a snap from her fingers, a blue, ghostly flame - her foxfire - came to life, floating above her head and illuminating the pages. She had done enough thinking for now...any more introspection would just have her going around in circles.

"Tomorrow," she mumbled. "Tomorrow is the day."

She tried to read, but only made it a few pages before falling asleep.

********************

The next morning unfolded in a familiar manner, Kokona waking up after Kaito and watching him prepare breakfast. They ate together and shared a pleasant conversation. When they finished, she suggested taking a walk around the city, seeing how the storm had finally passed. He was surprised at her initiative, but accepted with a warm smile. Kaito fetched a white cane, holding it with his right hand. He hummed in surprise when Kokona laughed and took his hand in her own, offering to lead him around. He brought the cane just in case, tucked under his armpit, and allowed the inari to lead him out of his home.

"Where should we go?" Kokona asked.

"There's a nice park a few blocks away," Kaito suggested. "To the west."

It was decided. They proceeded towards the park, walking slowly and carefully, still getting used to each other. Many people had a similar idea, strolling outside to enjoy the sunshine. Interestingly, a great deal of these people recognized Kaito, offering him respectful greetings as they passed. Kokona was impressed as he managed to identify each person by voice alone, returning their greetings with good cheer.

A few people sent curious glances and greetings her way, as well. She was suddenly grateful that the clothing Yui had brought her didn't have a hole for her tails, which kept the expectant looks to a minimum.

"Ah," Kaito hummed. "Just to the left, if I'm not mistaken. A red house?"

Kokona looked to her left. Sure enough, there was a red house there. He must have created a very detailed mental map of his neighborhood.

"Yes, there is."

"Knock on the door," he suggested.

"And then what?" she asked. "Who lives there?"

"Just trust me," he chuckled.

Sighing, she knew it was impossible to deny him after hearing his laughter. She led him to the door and knocked twice. Footsteps followed not long after. An adult nekomata with black hair, paws, and ears opened the door, dressed in an elegant kimono.

"Hello?" she asked. "Oh, good morning, Kaito. And...you must be the mystery guest my daughter seemed so enamored with."

"A pleasure to meet you," Kokona said, bowing respectfully. "My name is Kokona, and I cannot thank you enough for your generosity."

"Yumiko," the nekomata replied. "And think nothing of it. I owe Kaito a lot, so his guests are my guests."

"Good morning, Yumiko," Kaito greeted. "We're just stopping by. I thought that you two should meet."

"Feel free to stop by later," Yumiko suggested. "I'll see if I can adjust that robe to make it more comfortable for your tails."

"Oh, that would be..." Kokona briefly faltered. "Most welcome, thank you."

Bidding Yumiko farewell, the pair continued on to the park, greeting more people as they walked. Eventually they came upon a public park. It was quite beautiful, featuring willow and cherry trees, a moderately-sized pond with fish in it, and many benches and tables to sit at. A red, wooden bridge spanned the length of the the pond, although it already held a pair of human women talking about something. Kaito and Kokona found an empty bench at the corner of the park, reasonably isolated.

"I'm ready," Kokona said as she sat down. "I...want to tell you."

"You're certain?" Kaito asked.

She took a deep breath, and nodded. "Yes."

"Have you ever heard of Kohuni village?" she asked.

"Hmm..." Kaito rubbed his chin in deep contemplation, but shook his head. "No, I'm afraid not."

So Kokona told him. She explained how she had been the patron of the tiny village, building it up over several decades, how she grew in power as a result of the villager's love. She explained how she felt about receiving her eighth tail abnormally quickly, how her guilt and resentment caused her to shut herself away, and how that had caused the people to lose faith in her. She explained how she lived as a hermit for nearly a year, doing her best to keep herself apathetic, distracting herself with research and prayer.

And she explained how the storm had put an end to that, forcing her out of the ruined village. She explained why she had been walking in the rain, how she felt like she couldn't even motivate herself to bring up her hands to protect herself. Tears began to fall from her eyes, but she did not suppress them, for they needed to fall.

Finally, Kokona had acknowledged and accepted it all. The storm, her grief, the loss of her village - everything. She would pretend to ignore it no longer.

Kaito listened all the while, never interrupting. When Kokona began to choke up and openly sob, finally grieving for all that she had lost, he rubbed her back soothingly, telling her to express whatever she needed to. A few people noticed this and looked at the pair, but nodded in understanding when they saw Kaito. He had helped some of those people before, or their family members, and they knew of his reputation for helping people overcome grief. The other people in the park gave them plenty of space.

Eventually, her tears of grief became tears of relief, her body finally relenting and easing the stream of tears.

"Thank you," Kokona sniffed, dabbing at her eyes with her wrists. "For listening. For..." She almost said, 'for saving me', but she knew that wasn't right. She predicted what he would say to that, that he did not save her, but merely helped her to save herself.

"Thank you for helping me," she said, smiling tearfully at him.

"You are very welcome, Kokona," he nodded, returning her smile. "I am glad to have helped you. You already sound better, more free, than you did before."

"You're right," she said, wiping away the last of her tears. "The only way to move on from the past is to accept it. I just wish I had done so years ago."

He started to say something, but she cut him off.

"No, no. I know what you're going to say," she explained. "That I need to accept that too, right? I know. I'm...I am done, living in the past. And...I want to focus on the present. The future."

"It makes me very glad to hear you say these things, Kokona," Kaito chuckled. "It reminds me of my own place in life. I am deeply fortunate to have met you."

Warmth flared through her body, and her tails started worming around like they had a mind of their own.

"K-Kaito, that's...a very kind thing to say. Thank you."

"You're welcome, Kokona. And we can stay here as long as you want to," he nodded. "But I can think of one other thing that might help you."

"What's that?"

"It's up to you if you think you're ready for this or not," he frowned. "But what about visiting Yumiko next?"

Kokona hummed in contemplation. Maybe...was she ready for that?

"Your tails are beautiful, Kokona," he smiled. "I wish you didn't feel like you need to hide them."

B...beautiful? Kaito liked her tails?

"You...really think so?" she asked, turning her head and running a hand through her blonde hair. "Why...or, how?"

"Where do inari store most of their power?" he laughed. "Your tails shine very brightly, Kokona. And each one has its own set of colors, radiant and wonderful."

Kokona had to cover her eyes with her fingers, too embarrassed to even look at him. She was deeply grateful that he couldn't see her acting like this.

"I...okay," she relented. "I'll...stop hiding them. If you really like them that much, I think I can handle a few looks."