- First Time
- Blueberry Hill
- Page 2
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Susannah spent the evening, sitting on the couch in Gary's arms, watching television, She was still wet and sticky. Even though she had changed her panties twice Gary's thick spunk, like a heavily concentrated gooey paste was till trickling deliciously from her slit.
It had been her first time. She had often wondered what it would be like. I do hope the pill works, it has to work, she thought, then dismissed it from her mind but it was so wonderful.
Later Gary checked how long Blueberry Hill lasted, only about two-and-half minutes. He thought that must have been a record seduction, even for him, though he had a lot of help from Fats Domino. Nevertheless, the passion had been wild, frenetic and fast and he had popped Susannah's sweet little cherry as well.
He couldn't suppress the wry smile that crossed his lips. Life is just a bowl of cherries, he thought.
- COMMENTS
Wittonalmost 6 years agoUpon further consideration I withdraw my one star rating (given under a different nom de net) and give it the five it deserves - the song is romantic and while the action is rather severely compressed in time it is an erotic little fantasy - nobody gets hurt, since Gary is supplied with morning after pills in the place of condoms - and we are told that Susannah goes on to have further lovers (viz. Gary's is the largest cock she'll ever have)
Anonymousabout 11 years agoVery nice slow build up. Just enough background to flesh out the characters. No complex plot gimmicks to get in the way. Innocent girl hit on by experienced guy. Only one typo (fuck instead of fucked).
LynnGKS
Anonymousabout 11 years agoSome people just like to troll. "Put it in a bin" seems to be a recurring theme to the point of becoming boring, lame criticism. Perhaps a few people could be less cynical and offer some positive criticism.
IMO it's a fine story, not a "five" perhaps, but enjoyable nonetheless.
BlueFinchabout 11 years agoI have nothing against people criticising stories on this site, but some of these objections don't make any sense. The pill is obviously a morning after pill given the context and not a 'magic seduction pill' or anything as implausible. The seduction is very fast but not only is he built up a lot in the first part of the story as a master seducer but secondly this isn't meant to be a documentary. There is reasonable suspension of disbelief and while I can't imagine a 150 second seduction in my living room I'm happy to do so in my fantasies.
The important things in a story are all here in droves. The dialogue is good, the 'gimmick' is good if not original, and the description of how they feel and the sensations is excellent. 4 stars at least in my view!
