Blues Fusion

"Are you really all that interested or is this a fishing expedition and you're hoping for an opening so that you can make a pass at me?"

"No, I'm interested in how you can combine a relationship with your workload?"

"It'd hard but not impossible."

"So the rumours of a relationship between you and your lead guitarist aren't true?"

"That rumour has been going the rounds since we first started and it is no truer now than it was then." You'll notice that I didn't actually deny the truth of the rumour.

"What does your boyfriend think of that?"

"The same as he did when the band first started out." Nothing to hang his hat on there. What he didn't know was that my Media Studies course has a section on it that teaches us how to answer tricky interviewers. He was just about to cop the statement that I had already answered his question and had no intention of going round and round in circles in the hope that I'd get bored and either get angry with him or slip up and give him the answer that he was looking for. He eventually got back to the reason that I was there which was to publicise our upcoming gig.

There was another side of this and that was the seemingly never-ending stream of guys who thought that they were God's gift to me and that I should be flattered that they were offering their services as a stud. I crushed many egos in an effort to keep up my image of a person who was wholly devoted to her music. I even went as far as thinking of inventing a lesbian lover to discourage them but decided that the front-on approach was the better one, I didn't want them blaming my lesbianism for their failure to score.

The other downside of this was the stream of Facebook heroes all claiming to have fucked me and that I was your typical self-obsessed rock slut. I closed my Facebook site because there was getting simply too much crap posted on it.

We had just finished our first tour and everyone was pleased with the result both in positive exposure and of course money, we were now able to command a much higher price for our appearances than when we first started. Then came the bombshell. Floyd had been hinting for some time that I should undertake a solo project. His argument was that I was the star and the others were holding my career back. What he proposed was to send me to the States to record with the best musicians and the best record producers available. He had sent demos over their and he told me that there was considerable interest being shown in me. My first reaction was; "No, I won't betray the band by going behind their backs to do this. We started together and I meant for us to stay together."

"Listen to me Fee. The promoters don't want the band, they want you, they are prepared to put together the best backing musicians and vocalists and really give your career the kick-start that it needs but can't get while you are stuck with the band."

"I don't care about that, it's the band or nothing. I am prepared to walk away from this career tomorrow if you try to split us up."

"You'd be prepared to throw everything away just because of some sense of loyalty to a couple of second-rate musicians?"

"Friends, you forgot that they are also my friends."

"In this business you have to look after number one. Do you think that the band would hesitate in giving you the flick if a better singer came along?" That was a low blow, he must have found out about the band flicking Vanessa so that I could join.

"Okay, you've pitched this to me so let me take a little time to think about it and get back to you in a couple of days."

"Don't mention this to the band, they probably won't understand."

"I don't understand." I needed to talk to someone outside the industry to get a different take on this problem. Huw! An hour later I was seated on his sofa telling him all. He actually listened to what I told him without trying to get into my pants, well he listened after I stopped him when he first tried and after I convinced him that this was a serious problem.

"Fee, you asked me because you wanted an opinion from someone outside the music industry, Okay I'll give it to you, but if you'd asked me for an un-biased opinion I wouldn't have been able to give you one because I'm in love with you and that would have affected my opinion. What is the most important thing in your life? Is it the music and if it is you will need to define what part of the music is the most important? Is it you performing as an individual or part of a group? Do you think that you are better than the group and that they are holding you back as Floyd has told you, or do you feel more complete performing as part of the group? What are your goals as an individual and what are the goals of the group? Are those goals compatible or mutually exclusive? Will you feel that you have betrayed the band if you pursue a solo career, and if that's how you feel, could you live with that?"

"Wow! You make the decision more complicated, but I guess that you're right, these are the things that I'll have to work through before I make the decision. Help me please."

"Being a normal red-blooded man I would suggest that what you need is to take your mind off the subject for a while, and being a normal red-blooded man I would, naturally enough, offer my services. But, as I'm also the sensitive type, that's not what you need right now so, starting from the beginning, what is the most important thing in your life right now?"

"It has to be the music. Having said that, I'd give it up tomorrow if I felt that staying in the industry was going to hurt Mike and the band."

"Okay, I'm upset that you put it above me but I can live with that. What part of the music is the most important, what would be the hardest for you to give up?"

I had to think about that. While I liked singing solo I got the most enjoyment from singing with the band in small intimate venues because that's what our music was best suited to. If I were to go solo I would lose that. Sure I would probably become more famous and make more money, much more money with a solo career, but at what cost? "Where I am now musically is based on a type of music that's best suited to a group performance in a small venue, I think that I'd lose that by going solo. Money isn't everything, integrity, both personal and musical is. As for your question; do I feel I'm better than the group, no I don't. We as a group have worked to achieve the sound that has made us popular. If I'd tried to make it on my own I doubt if I could, because of the support that I got from them in the beginning. And I doubt if the best session musicians in the world would understand that and be able to capture that."

"What are your goals as a group and you as an individual?"

"As I group we are happy where we stand, I have heard the others discussing whether to continue doing what we are now in the same type of venue as we are now or to move on in the direction that Floyd wants us to move. The consensus is that they'd rather stay as they are. My goals as an individual are consistent with that of the group, I realise now that I wouldn't be happy splitting from the group. They have no idea of what Floyd has put to me."

"How would you feel if you went ahead with a solo career?"

"Like shit, I owe the group and I'm not about to turn my back on them, I don't think that I could live with myself if I did."

"Okay, so what will you do now?"

"I'm going to make one phone call and then I'm going to allow you to show me just how normal and red-blooded you really are." I grabbed my mobile and called Mike. "Hi Mike, can you get the band together tomorrow at say, eleven o'clock, we need to have a very serious discussion. I'll tell you all about it tomorrow, see ya. Now where was I?" Where I was was in his arms and being smothered by his kisses. Then I was in his bed being caressed to within an inch of my life and then I was the subject of some of the best and most intense loving that I have ever experienced. Much later I was sleeping the sleep of someone who has finally come to terms with what she wants to do with the rest of her life.

What a miserable looking bunch the group looked when Huw and I walked into the warehouse the next morning. Simon looked at Huw as if he would have little hesitation in killing him. "We think that we know where this is heading. Fee, if you want to pursue a solo career don't let us stop you. We always knew that we wouldn't be able to hold you back because you have gained more popularity than the band could ever achieve."

"Is that what you think this is all about? Okay, this is not about me and whatever ambitions you think I might have, it's about us, Blues Fusion. You have probably come to the conclusion that I called this meeting to tell you that I'm splitting with the group to pursue a solo career. Well you can forget it, and I'll explain why I'm not. Floyd has been pestering me for some time to leave you guys and has even gone so far as to send demo tapes to record producers in the States. He has told me that there is a lot of interest in me over there, but what he has failed to realise is that my musical ambitions are not about me as a solo singer but me as a part of a successful small group. I have to tell you that if we have any ambitions beyond where we are right now we will probably be disappointed because to achieve those ambitions we will lose our musical integrity, and that is what's important to me and I hope that it is to you as well."

"Are you sure?" Mike asked.

"I have never been more sure of anything in my entire life. I will probably look at completing my degree as an external student part-time so I guess you have me for the duration that is if you want me."

"Of course we want you, why wouldn't we? We wouldn't be where we are if you hadn't decided that you could sing better than Vanessa."

"We have another small problem, Floyd. He's not going to be happy with my decision just as I'm not happy with him trying to split us up. I think that we should start looking to break our contract with him and find another manager."

"I think that I might be able to help you there." The source of that statement was Huw.

"What do you propose?" Simon asked.

"Part of my father's vast business empire is a firm of management consultants that have contacts in the entertainment industry, I can talk to them and see if they have any advice on how to change your management."

"Okay, see what you can do, and thank you." It must have hurt Simon to say that given that he still harboured some hope of landing me.

Two days later Huw and I fronted up to Floyd's office. "Floyd, I am not going to split from the group, I am not going to go solo and I am not going to the States to cut a solo album. Blues Fusion will stay as they are to preserve their musical integrity and if you have a problem with that then we will have to look at firing you as our manager and my personal manager."

"You can't do that! After all that I've done for your career, the time and effort that I've spent, wasted even as it now appears, on you. If you try to terminate our management agreement you will hear from my lawyers!"

"I don't think so." Huw looked him in the eye. "Because we have investigated just how much time, effort and money you've expended on Fee. SFA, bugger all, zilch, zero, not one cent apart from a couple of phone calls to your sleazy third-rate producer friend in the States who you probably filled with stories of how Fee will be prepared to sleep with him just so she can work with him, just like the rumour that you put around here. If you attempt in any way to prevent the group from changing management you will hear from our lawyers, is that clear enough for you?"

"Can you really do that?" I asked Huw as we left a shocked Floyd watching his dream of fame and fortune disappear out the window.

"As they say in the classics; 'money talks' and when you have as much money as my father it speaks with a very loud voice. By the way, he, my loud voiced father, would like to meet you, we have been invited to lunch at his club."

I have never been inside one of these 'establishment' clubs and was suitably impressed with its opulence. We were shown to a table by a picture window that had views over Sydney Harbour to die for. An older version of Huw rose from the table as we approached. "Dad, this is Fiona, Fee, the girl that I've told you about. Fee, I'd like you to meet my father, Morgan Cregan."

"I'm very pleased to meet you my Dear." He held out his hand for me to shake. His grip was firm without pressure and spoke of immense confidence.

"I'm pleased to meet you Sir."

"Please, call me Morgan. My son tells me that you are something of a singer, he even forced me to listen to a CD of your band, I must say that I am impressed, and when he came to me a day or two ago I had no hesitation in offering my services. I hope that everything went as planned with your meeting this morning."

"Very much so, thank you."

"Not at all, it's the very least that I could do for the girl that my son has high hopes of marrying."

"Dad! You promised not to say anything about that."

"One day you'll learn not to dilly-dally. If you have something to say then say it. If you propose to propose to Fiona then do it."

"Huw, I don't want you to make a spectacle of yourself by getting down on your knee to propose to me here and now, so I'll save you the bother by accepting (your proposal). The getting down on your knee can come later, in private."

We sat down and the hovering waiter ceased hovering and came to the table to take our orders. I thought that I'd try the Moreton Bay Bugs (A large crustacean something like a demented lobster with weird shaped head, and as I found out, very nice). Huw ordered a Barramundi fillet with a Thai salad while Morgan ordered two servings of freshwater crayfish with a garden salad. I thought this strange until he looked to the door. "Ah, here she is." He got to his feet to meet one of the most stunningly sophisticated women that I have ever seen. It seemed only appropriate that I stand with the men as she arrived at the table. "Hi Darling, sorry I kept you waiting but I just couldn't get away. Have you ordered?"

"Yes my Dear, our usual. I would like you to meet the young lady that our son is so besotted with, Fiona, this as you've probably already gathered, is my wife Myf, that's short for Myfanwy which is why we call her Myf."

"I must say that you are every bit as beautiful as our son described you." Now I know why I like Huw so much, his parents, although filthy rich seem just like normal filthy rich people.

The food, the wine and the company were perfect and highlighted my humble origins in middle-class suburbia, but that didn't seem to bother Huw's parents, there was no condescension in their conversation and they invited me to join them on Sunday for lunch at their waterfront mansion with the possibility of some sailing on the harbour.

Much later I broached the subject of our financial and cultural differences with Huw. We were naked in his bed and coming down from another orgasmic high. "Don't worry about them, they treat everyone the same way and the only people that I've ever seen that responded negatively are those stuck-up bastards that think that their shit doesn't stink. Father tells the story about a plumber working on the ancestral manor who made the comment that, let me be sure that I get this right, 'I've had my hand up enough sewers to know that it doesn't matter how rich you are, or how important that you think you are, in the final analysis the product of our existence smells exactly the same'."

"What are we going to do?"

"I don't know about you but I intend to keep loving you and supporting you in whatever endeavour you plan. That's the long term plan, in the short term I intend to convince you that the best plan of action for you will to marry me, that will keep Simon in his place and also give me the excuse to attend your gigs to keep the male fans at bay so that all you have to do is to concentrate on your career in music."

"There's a certain attraction to that. I still intend to continue my studies, I spoke to the Uni and they are happy for me to study part-time as long as I can keep up with the course requirements. At least I'll have a career to fall back on if and when the band is no longer viable."

"That's settled, so what are we going to do now?"

"By the way your hand has found its way to my pussy I would hazard a guess that you want to make love yet again, would I be right?" While I was making this superfluous statement my hand was also busy with his cock, priming it for the task ahead. It was now fully erect so I straddled him and fed his cock into my pussy, pushing down on him until he was inside as far as he could go. Having my pussy lips crushed against the base of his cock it was now time to begin the slow process of giving him as much pleasure as I was feeling. The expression on his face attested to my success in this endeavour. God this felt good, it was better than good the way his cock moved inside me was sending me spiralling out of control. My hips had a mind of their own jerking back and forth, and sliding my sopping wet pussy up and down on him. I could feel my juices seeping from me and just when I felt that it couldn't get any better it did. With a grunt he came, driving his cock deep inside me and filling me with his sperm. I collapsed onto his chest, we were both out of breath and gasping for air and as we recovered I could feel his softening cock allowing our combined juices ooze from me. There was going to be a hell of a mess to clean up when we got around to it.

Three months later the wheels began to fall off, the arguments started. Simon was still jealous of Huw and questioned why he was always hanging around, even when we were on tour. "It's simple, Huw and I are an item, I love him as he loves me and we plan at some time in the future to get married. Him being with me all the time doesn't affect the way that I perform, at least I don't think it does."

"I wasn't going to say anything, but you seem to have lost some of the edginess that is the reason that we're successful. It's only a matter of time before the fans stop coming."

I looked at Mike and Leon but they weren't saying anything. As far as they were concerned this was between me and Simon.

"I know why you're doing this, it's because you still have the hots for me, and that much is obvious, so you're trying to get me to make a decision, to choose between you and the group, which you know I love, and Huw, who I also love. I am not prepared to choose between the group and Huw because I think, I know, that one has no effect over the other. You are the problem and the sooner that you decide that, for the sake of us as a group, you can live with the fact that Huw and I are in love, lovers, and we intend to stay that way, the better."

An article in one of the trade papers brought the whole thing to a head:

'WHERE'S THE CHEMISTRY?'

There is little evidence of the fusion in Blues Fusion, it has been replaced by a tension between vocalist Fiona Masters and guitarist Simon Rawlings and this has affected their performance to the point that the fans are abandoning them in the thousands. At one time they played to full houses of rapturous fans, now it is more likely to be half empty houses of the die-hard.

Unless this impasse can be straightened out there is no future for what was once one of the best small bands in the country, with the tightness between the members being their trademark. It will be a sad day for all of us if they can't resurrect their fortunes.'

We were supposed to be rehearsing a new song but everyone was sitting around unable to get enthusiastic. Simon was reading the article over and over with the occasional filthy look in my direction. "All right, enough." I said. "This has come to the point where something has to be done about it, I for one can't go on like this." I looked to each of them. "In the very beginning I told you that I was prepared to walk away from all of this if it doesn't work out. Well it isn't working anymore, and much as I have loved every moment of it up until recently, I can't go on like this so I'm leaving." I held up my hand. "I'm leaving not to pursue a solo career, I'm leaving this industry totally, no more singing. I am going to resume my studies full time and in two months time Huw and I are getting married, you will all be invited by the way," I looked at all three of them, Simon averted his eyes. "This decision has not been easy for me given how much I love singing with you guys and no, Huw did not force me to give this up, in fact we have spent the last few weeks trying to work out a solution."