Breaking Barriers Ch. 04

"Our usual place?" Kent nudged as he guided Vale over to the fountain for their lunch. He carefully set the towering stack of trays on the stone bench, out of the reach of the spray, and Vale did the same with the messenger bag that held his art supplies, and the sketchbook that was pinned between his arm and his side while he carried the drinks. He gazed at the cool water as they sat and arranged everything, feeling that same warmth spreading throughout his body, including prominently south. He replayed the memory of pulling that cute boy out of the water, and hearing his voice for the first time. Kent's loud slurping interrupted his thoughts.

"So, who's this new guy of the week you were telling me about?" Vale asked his ginger-haired friend pointedly as he put down the soda.

"Right, so get this - He's Scottish." Kent paused with a wide smile on his face, clearly waiting for a reaction.

"Even more temporary than usual, I suspect," Vale said, picking through his fries.

"More or less, but it's gonna be some hot times until he heads back over the pond, as they call it." Kent shrugged. "I'm just living in the moment, and it's a glorious moment at that."

"Well, then I'm happy if you're happy," Vale said, starting on his hamburger. Along with Kip, his work was weighing on his mind. He considered his latest illustration, which was a set of twenty-nine that would go into publication. Something about it just didn't line up right in his inked sketch, and it was throwing him off. He hadn't felt this clumsy in a while, but it was an issue with composition that cropped up from time to time.

"And are you happy with that little ragamuffin?" Kent said, a teasing note in his voice.

"You mean that adorable ragamuffin," Vale corrected, with only a hint of firmness in his own voice. "And yes. I don't want to get ahead of myself, but I'm starting to really like him. He just seems so guarded, but I'm willing to wait. I'm not in a hurry." He thought for a moment. "At least, I'm trying not to be."

"Just be careful. I don't know what it is, but he seems different," Kent said, this time in an uncharacteristically serious tone. His eyes flicked up to Vale's to catch his confused look.

"You mean besides being deaf?" he asked, raising his eyebrows. Just what was Kent getting at?

"It just seems a little weird. Why does he look so young? Do you think he has a growth deficiency? Do you think it extends to the most important appendage?" Kent asked, pausing midway through his turkey sandwich. Vale almost spit out his soda.

"I'm sure it's none of my business, yet." Vale's cheeks grew hot, and he dipped his head to take another drink to push down the rising wave from his throat. "I'm sure he's proportionately fine. And even if he isn't, it doesn't matter."

"It matters a little."

"Maybe to you," Vale asserted, but his voice faltered when he thought about it. Could that be why Kip had the proverbial walls up? Could there be truth in Kent's suspicions? He shook away the thought. "There's something tender and thoughtful, brilliant and witty about that boy. I'm not going to worry about that bridge until it comes time to cross it. We haven't really talked about our relationship status at all, so it's a non-issue."

"Yeah," Kent said with a sarcastic whip of his tone. "You've just been hankering over him for weeks now, and talking every spare minute you have." Vale checked his phone with the messages. Had it really already been weeks? That had gone so fast. Speak of the deaf devil, as soon as Vale looked at his phone, Kip's latest message came through (a casual complaint about work, which Vale mutually sympathized with), and Vale tapped back a response of agreement. When he looked up from his phone to see Kent's amused eyes on him, the other man just shrugged and gestured to the phone. "See?"

"That was just a coincidence."

"Sure. Well, if he's such a catch, rope him in." Kent went back to his sandwich while Vale focused on his own, and his only thought was, Oh, how I wish I could.

* * *

Kip barely made it into his apartment without dropping his briefcase and light windbreaker. He clutched the bag of takeout food in his other hand with ferocity, knowing himself well enough that he wouldn't want to cook tonight, even if it was just a salad. Maybe if he had pre-sliced the red and yellow peppers, but it couldn't be helped now. He placed his briefcase against the edge of the couch, where it promptly fell over and clattered unnoticed to the ground. He flopped on the couch, putting his leg up on the marble coffee table and tucked into his gloriously greasy fast food. He batted away the negative thoughts (This isn't going to help get rid of your feminine curves...) and pulled out his phone.

There wasn't a new message from Vale yet, and he assumed that he was working late again, like he had been for the past few nights. He scrolled back up and relived their earlier conversations, which were getting increasingly flirty. He was even habitually calling him cute and precious, and although they were feminine terms, Kip felt okay accepting them from Vale. Maybe because he really meant it, like he would to any cisgendered guy. Was Vale that desperate, or was Kip not the ugly troll that others guys had made him out to be? No, Vale was too hot be that desperate. But then, what was it?

He watched a bit of TV with the subtitles scrawling across the bottom of the screen like usual, but when his phone buzzed with Vale's text, he almost jumped out of his skin. He fumbled to get the phone open and in his lap without dropping his food, and he had to laugh at himself. His hand was shaky as he opened to read the message, and chided himself. Since when did he get this worked up over a guy?

Vale: Finally home. Work has been killer lately. You?

Kip: Just dealing with Leo's drama in the office, but otherwise fine.

Vale: Just forget about that prick. Is he giving you trouble specifically?

Kip: Nah, it's all good. I just want to relax and forget about the day.

He didn't want to bore Vale with his drama. Leo was just being Leo, nitpicking at coding macros that Kip had used in his latest file submissions. His abrasive manner and dripping condescension was usually easy to stomach by subtly unhooking one of his hearing aids. It took a few moments before Vale's next text, and Kip's eyes stayed on it while he felt the heat rise. He shifted on the couch to become more comfortable. Why hadn't he put on pajama pants yet?

Vale: I hate to broach the topic so early in the night, but it's been on my mind all day. Do you feel about me the same way I feel about you?

With shaky hands, Kip started replying to the unexpected message. He had been expecting another relaxed evening of conversation, not that he minded something in this direction. He fixed some of his wording and proofread before he sent it.

Kip: I do have very strong feelings for you, although we haven't been talking that long.

It was true. Sometimes Kip would have months long conversations, but they all ended the same way. Was it time to tell Vale now?

Vale: You're all I think about now, and the only bright spot in my day. I never noticed until now how much I was just going through the motions, or just following in Kent's promiscuous wake. I have to know. Do you want to be my boyfriend? I've always preferred monogamy, anyways.

There it was. Vale's proposal, just sitting on the screen and staring him down. He took in a deep breath and started to type back. He closed his eyes just before he sent it.

Kip: Of course I do. But we have to talk about it first. In person.

Vale: I can agree to that. My place or yours?

Kip wiped his palms on the couch cushion before he rose and headed towards the bedroom. His stomach had started spinning, and he had the urge to lay down before he fell down. He sprawled on his bed, only half under the comforter, and with his pillow tucked beneath his chest while he continued texting. His shucked work clothes littered the floor, where he was determined to forget about them for now.

Kip: My place, if you don't mind. I can cook us something for dinner.

Vale: I like Beef Wellington. Jk. I'm sure I'll love whatever you make. :)

Kip: lol Good to know. I'll try not to disappoint you.

In more ways than dinner, Kip thought, which was punctuated in his heart with Vale's next text.

Vale: Honestly, I don't think you could ever disappoint me. You're already more than I hoped for.

Kip shuddered and batted away hints of tears. This poor guy had no idea, and although he usually felt like what was in his pants to be his business and his alone, he couldn't help but feel like he was lying, but he didn't want to lose this guy. Not yet. He had felt too good, too at peace since he and Vale had started talking. He hadn't even looked at another app or dating site, and as dictated by his patterns, he usually would have broken by now and replaced his deleted apps. While he had Vale's texts to look forward to throughout the day, he had forgotten about all the potential disappointments.

Vale: I just wish I could see you more. I love our convos, but I love seeing your beautiful face more.

Kip: Says the Adonis to the peasant. :P

Just keep it light, and try to still the thundering against your rib cage, Kip told himself.

Vale: It's even cuter that you don't know you're cute. :P Why do you keep me at arms' length? I'll be a perfect gentleman tomorrow.

Kip started to type back, "That's good to know", when another message popped up underneath the previous.

Vale: Even though I wouldn't want to be. ;)

A jolt surged through Kip, and he became very aware of a tingling sensation down below. Did he dare take the bait into this lurid twist? How much would Vale hate him when he found out?

Kip: Well, you'll have to be. :P

Kip: For now.

Vale: Then there's hope. It'll be a struggle to behave, as much as I want to kiss you...

More tingles.

Vale: And pick you up and take you to your bed.

Calm down, Kip chided himself. It's just cybering. You've done this a million times. But not like this, with a guy that he knew and liked for real. Never with this deep of a connection, and never with this much to lose.

Kip: Hold that thought until tomorrow? If all goes well, I promise we can revisit it.

Vale: I'll hold you to it.

* * *

Their conversation sidled away from the intensity of the discussion, cooling off into safer territories of work and family as they both fell asleep. Kip drifted off while staring at the dimmed screen. He wanted Vale's words to be the last thing he'd see before drifting off into oblivion. Subtle thoughts of his day off tomorrow and the plans they had made hung on his mind, spreading a troubled smile over his lips.

The young man woke up easily on his own to face the gentle sunlight streaming in through the apartment window. He wiggled his stiff shoulders as he tried to shed his dreams carefully, holding the details on the edge of his mind before they disappeared. He didn't always remember every single detail, but he could remember how it made him feel. He glanced at his phone, noticing the time, and figured it wouldn't pay to dawdle in bed, although that was one of his favorite things to do, to just let himself wake up slowly and naturally.

His growling stomach also coaxed him out of bed and towards the kitchen where he could start making his morning omelet. By the time the strips of turkey bacon were done and his tea was cooling, he was able to finally sit down and scroll through his phone again. Luckily, it had been Vale's technical day off as well, although he insisted he should work for at least part of the day. Kip worried that he might be overdoing it, and even told him so, but Vale insisted it was light work.

After breakfast and passively cleaning his apartment, he decided to follow in Vale's stead and work on his project. The deadline was nearing, and Leo's workplace presence had become more competitive. He had been checking on Kip more, hounding him for files so he could polish certain things before sending them further up the ladder. Sure, he had been there longer and had slightly more experience, but Kip didn't appreciate the nasally breathing down his neck. He left his laptop open in the project up on his counter when he finally stood for a stretch.

It felt like the hours were ticking by so slowly, even for working at home, and the distractions his mind gave him as he made himself a quick lunch. What exactly would he say? By now, he had had many variations of the Trans coming out dialogue, and not many of them had proven overly successful. Actually, none of them really had been. At this point, successful was synonymous with nonthreatening, but it still never left him happy. Now with the risk of losing Vale from his life, it felt like a heavier conversation. One of which he had no idea how to broach. He told himself that he just had to steel his emotions behind a wall, and accept whatever happened. If things were getting this serious with Vale, he couldn't put it off. Especially how he felt himself, and how his hand had wandered south during their flirty texts.

After washing the few dishes that had been left in the sink, he paced aimlessly around his apartment, making sure it was ready for company. He hadn't entertained much, or even had the opportunity to do so, and he was nervous on all fronts. He turned on the TV just to have some movement in the background to catch his eye and alleviate him of the anxiety for a few moments here and there. He checked his phone habitually for any sign of a text from Vale, but he knew he would probably be disciplined enough to focus on his work, if that's what he really needed to do.

He checked the time and saw it was early afternoon. The clouds that threatened the early morning sunlight were drifting away, and he figured he might as well shower now. He shucked his clothes and neatly folded them, trying to get an idea of what he wanted to wear for their date. Perhaps the black shirt with the asymmetrical pinstripes? It had been a favorite of his since before his top surgery. He braced himself for the spray of the water, which was always unpleasant at first. While he shampooed the dirty blond locks, he finally started to settle in. He soaped his slender frame while his thoughts drifted to Vale in an odd mixture of anxiety and arousal. If he took the news favorably, it might be the first time he would get to experience his new body in that way. It was a thrilling thought, but also a dangerous one.

With a shrug to himself, he decided it might as well be time to prepare dinner. If anything, to keep his mind from wandering to impure thoughts, on the astronomical off-chance that Vale happens to love the news. He turned the water off after rinsing, eliciting a squeak from the vintage faucet that had come with his aged apartment. He dried quickly, fixing his hair so it would dry in the waves that had gotten him compliments in the past. After he dressed, he pulled up a recipe from a quick internet search and checked all the ingredients to make sure he had them. It was a pasta-based dish, and he quickly browsed through his cupboards. Digging into the back, he dipped his shoulder to grasp the jar of sauce and bring it out with a small whoop of triumph. For a second, he had thought he hadn't restocked, and would have to make a grocery run. Extra mushroom, he noticed while reading the label. Perfect.

Moving between the refrigerator, the cupboard, counter, and stove, he began heating up the pasta and dicing vegetables. He stooped enough to cause his lower back to stiffen, but he wanted to be sure the pieces were diced within millimeters of perfection. He moved his laptop further down the counter to make room for more vegetables that weren't ready to boil yet. After the pasta and vegetables were ready, he heated the sauce until it was warm and edible, and then turned off all the burners to let everything settle. He looked at the mess with a hint of pride tugging at his heart. Although he meal-prepped for himself, he never put so much effort into his own meals, except for once in a great while. It was nice to try new things.

He regarded the kitchen table, trying to imagine Vale sitting across from him. As much as he awaited his company, he thought the scene itself looked a little too plain. With a burgeoning smile, he went to his hall closet and started pulling out some boxes. Even if tonight ended badly, the least he could do was have fun until then.

* * *

Vale crumpled the last clean sheet of sketches and tossed them at the overflowing bin, promising himself he would empty it later. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe next week. He scraped his art utensils to the center of his workstation and clicked off the overhead lamp. Rubbing his temple and eyes, he rose and headed for the shower to quickly get cleaned up. It was edging closer to his date at Kip's apartment, and his mind was buzzing with the possibilities. Kip had said he wanted to be exclusive, but he had still seemed hesitant. What did he have to talk about in person? Were Kent's suspicions closer to the truth, or was something else in the way?

Maybe he was worrying over nothing, Vale thought as he trimmed his work stubble that had been growing out over the past week. He dried and briefly combed his wavy, black hair, and spent only a moment gazing into the mirror at his own nervous reflection. Was this the face of a bachelor, or someone who would have a boyfriend by tonight? A bonafide boyfriend, as Kip would probably say, he thought with a small smile.

He quickly got dressed and checked to make sure he had everything. Phone. Wallet. Keys. Then he locked up and went to his car, opening his phone to check Kip's address one last time while punching it into his GPS. He recognized the street. It was within the heart of the city, and he remembered that Kip avoided driving where he could, so of course he would choose to be within walking distance of everything he needed, including work.

He arrived at the apartment building in record time, pulling into the parking lot next to a silver car. He looked up at the high rise, wondering which balcony Kip looked out of each night. He went up to the security door and hit the buzzer for the apartment, and then mentally kicked himself. He reached for his phone to text Kip instead, when the buzzer crackled with Kip's boyish voice.

"Come on up. Room 312." The door popped out of the lock, and Vale hurried through with confusion flashing across his face. The elevator to the third floor had a worrying squeak to it, but otherwise it was a smooth ride. Before he knew it, Vale was standing outside the door with the metal script of his designated number on it. He raised his fist to knock, but then stopped himself. It took a moment to decide to reach for his phone, but before he had to do anything, the door opened, and Kip was smiling at him. "Are you going to stand there all day?"

"I was just surprised," Vale said with a slight laugh. He walked in and gave Kip a warm hug as soon as the door was shut and latched. "It's good to be here." He murmured softly into Kip's neck, knowing that the boy probably didn't hear him, but at least his smaller body relaxed into his. There was something else in his grip. Something needy. Needing of what?

"It's good to have you here," Kip said as he pulled away. Before Vale could get lost gazing at the happiness in his eyes, he thought to ask about the buzzer.

"When I hit the buzzer, how did you know?"

"You were the only one I was expecting, and my apartment is a bit different. Whenever someone buzzes my apartment, the lights flash." He pointed to the wires and bulbs hanging over the door frame. Vale nodded. So, that explained that. He didn't have time to think any more about it, because Kip grabbed his hand and led him tentatively towards the kitchen. As much as he cherished the touch, Vale could feel a twinge of the boy holding back.