Brody & Michelle Ch. 01

Author's Note: Hey, guys! This is my first submission on the website (or any, really). It's going to be a long, multi-chaptered story about two kids falling in love. I know. Original, right? Anyhoo, just letting you know now, that it is one of those annoying stories where the sexy stuff doesn't happen until later on, so... just warning you now. Thanks for reading!

*****

"I don't really want to go to your party, Stephanie." Brody groaned into the phone.

"Why not?" asked the voice on the other line.

"I don't like your friends. I don't know how you like your friends. You're way too cool to hang out with half of them."

"Michelle will be there. You know, the one with the hair you like?"

He paused. "The blonde?"

"Yeah."

"Has she ever mentioned me? Like brought me up in casual conversation? You know, over coffee or something?"

"We don't drink coffee, and no. Sorry, Brody, but I'm pretty sure she has no idea who you are."

"But at that picnic thing we talked for at least five minutes straight."

"Well... I'm sure she'd recognize you, but if I said 'Brody' to her she would literally have no idea what I was saying."

"What do you mean she would 'literally' have no idea what you were saying?"

"Brody doesn't sound like a name. It sounds like a car part."

"No, it doesn't. It sounds like a name."

"Well, that's debatable."

"Technically, anything is debatable."

"Oh my God, Brody. I don't have the time to debate with you over the word debatable being debatable. Do you want to come? I'm starting to regret asking you."

"There will be food, right?"

"Snacks. Munchables."

"I'll come."

"Great. Hey, best case scenario you get to know, maybe hook up with, Michelle, right?"

"Right," he smiled. "And worst case, I choke on a Bugle and die in front of her."

"That's the spirit. I'll see you later."

_____________________________

Two weeks ago at the picnic thing...

"Ow!" He got hit in the face with a soccer ball.

"Sorry, man," a well-built friend of Stephanie's said while he peered down at Brody. "I meant to kick it to Joe." He pointed behind him to Joe, and Joe waved.

"It's fine. It's not like you did it on purpose. Balls go in all sorts of directions, so... Am I bleeding? I feel like I'm bleeding."

"No. You're not bleeding," the guy said with a "rolling your eyes" voice. Brody could just hear the well-built guy calling him a pussy in his mind.

Brody, who didn't take kindly to mind insults, said irritably, "Okay. Have fun."

The well-built guy's eyes narrowed. "Do you want to join in...?"

"No. I'm fine."

"Okay. Well, if you change your mind..."

"Yeah. I'll let you know."

"Okay." He kicked the ball to Joe.

"So... you're just going to sit on the grass on this beautiful summer day?" a voice from behind him asked.

Brody turned around and saw a very pretty blonde girl giving him a quizzical look.

"I like grass. It feels nice," he responded while fondling the grass with his fingers.

Noticing him intimately touching the grass she said, "You don't go outside much, do you?"

"I guess not."

"I can tell by the pasty skin."

"Thanks."

"Sorry," she smiled. "I just insulted you without introducing myself. I'm Michelle."

"I know. You're Stephanie's friend. I am, too."

Michelle gave him a surprised look. "You are friends with Stephanie?"

"Yeah. She lived across the street from me from fifth grade and up."

"And you guys stayed friends through high school and stuff?"

"Yeah. Why are you surprised?"

"I don't know. Stephanie hangs out with, like, those well-built soccer ball guys, and she's

gorgeous-"

"And I'm some pasty skinned loser who sits inside all day?"

Michelle looked slightly surprised then grinned. "Exactly."

Brody laughed and gave her an almost impressed look. "I wasn't expecting that."

"What were you expecting?"

"A contrite apology."

"Ooh... I don't apologize. Or act contrite unless it's actually necessary. And isn't a contrite apology a little redundant? I mean, almost all apologies are contrite by definition."

"Oh. You like words. That's cool." After, there was a semi-awkward pause. Michelle looked down at Brody and then the other guys playing soccer, then, giving a look that said "What the hell?" sat down next to Brody.

Michelle then pointed at the sky and said, "That cloud looks like The Enterprise."

Brody squinted as he looked up. "It does. I wish the sun wasn't so bright. I'd be able to see it better."

"Are you complaining about the sun?"

"It's too bright out here. I prefer the dark."

"Do you spend a lot of time in your parents' basement or something?" she teased.

He glanced at her, giving her a look of mock offense. "No. Besides, you're the one who made me look at a cloud that was shaped like The Enterprise."

Michelle laughed. "I guess I did."

"So... do you like the original, The Next Generation, or..." his face grew disgusted "...Deep Space 9?"

"Uhh... I liked the J.J. Abrams movie..." she said sheepishly.

"Aww... Come on."

"What? You didn't like it?"

"I liked it. It was pretty good, just... That's how you recognized The Enterprise?" He looked disappointed at the thought, and, for some reason, Michelle didn't want to disappoint him.

"No. I've seen Star Trek before. What I saw of the original I liked, but... I just haven't seen that much of it."

"It's my favorite, too. You can almost never beat an original. I have it on DVD-" As Brody put his hand down on the ground to lean on, he pressed it down on something hard. "Ouch!" he yelled. He looked down and saw an acorn. He picked it up, threw it, and then mumbled, "Damn nature" under his breath.

Michelle watched the incident and narrowed her eyes. 'Damn nature?' she thought to herself. 'Who doesn't like nature?' She then turned to him and said, "If you hate being outside, how did Stephanie get you to come to a picnic?"

"Have you had her chicken salad?"

"No. I'm a vegetarian."

"Everyone's a vegetarian," Brody said while rolling his eyes.

"No. That's not true."

"Well, obviously. I mean... if you tried her chicken salad, you might change your mind. It's amazing."

"What?" she asked skeptically. "It has converting powers or something?"

"Yeah. It's like the Angelina Jolie of..." he trailed off "food, I guess," not being able to come up with the right word.

"What do you mean by Angelina Jolie?"

"Like... How I would go gay for Robert Downey Jr. Most girls say they would go gay for Angelina Jolie. That's what I meant."

"Oh. Okay. I would never go gay for Angelina Jolie, though. She freaks me out. And I don't find her lips appealing at all."

"Oh, yeah?" he smiled. "Then who would you go gay for?" he asked almost challengingly.

"Umm... I don't know. Tina Fey, I guess," she said, slightly embarrassed.

"Tina Fey? Why?"

"Umm... She's funny. And cool... I like her glasses."

"I wear glasses," he said, obviously without thinking first.

Michelle looked at him, smiled slightly, narrowed her eyes, and looked down at the grass. "That's right... You do." A few seconds passed, and Michelle looked up at Brody and said, "Well, it was nice to meet you, but I came out here to have fun. You don't mind if I go play soccer with those guys, do you?"

"No. Of course not. It's a beautiful summer day. You should enjoy it."

"Okay." Michelle got up and looked down at him. "Do you want to come play? Exercise is good for you."

"No. I was just about to go get some more of that chicken salad."

"Ah. I see. Well, be careful. It's hot out today," she said. Then her face grew almost concerned,"Mayonnaise."

"Oh, I'll be careful. I've had bad macaroni salad before. It was the worst twenty-four hours of my life. I had stuff shooting out of both ends."

"Okay..." Michelle said. "Well, maybe I'll see you sometime."

"Yeah. Definitely."

"Bye."

"Bye," Brody said as he watched her jog down to the guys playing soccer. He liked her.

'I don't know why she wouldn't remember me,' he thought. 'Things went pretty well.'

_____________________________

"Brody?" Michelle asked Stephanie. She was at Stephanie's house helping her set up the party. "I don't know that- who that is."

"That's what I thought. It doesn't sound like a name, does it?"

"No, it-"

"It sounds like a rotor or Rotary Club-"

"I've heard the name Brody before. I just meant I don't know who he is."

"You met him at the picnic."

"Who? The tall one who kept complimenting my tits?" she asked sardonically.

"No," Stephanie said, wincing. "That was Steve, and he's a douche bag. Sorry about him.

Brody... he's short, he has the dark shaggy hair and glasses..."

"Oh! Just a tad chubby? Cute in a hobbit-like way?"

"Yes. That would be him."

"Oh. He was interesting. Fun to talk to. I just didn't know his name."

"Is he interesting in a good way?"

"Yeah. I think so. Maybe he was nervous or something, because he said a couple things that were..."

"Really odd?" Stephanie supplied.

"Yeah."

"Well, he does that. But, to be fair, so do you."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Oh. So... he really agreed to come after you mentioned I was going to be there?"

"Yes."

"But we only talked for maybe five minutes."

"Well, you made quite an impression in those five minutes. What did you guys talk about?"

"Umm... Star Trek, your chicken salad, and who we would go gay for, I think..."

"As a first conversation?" Stephanie's eyes got huge.

"Yeah."

"Who did you say?"

"Tina Fey."

"Oh. So you like the sexy librarian type?"

"Just because a woman wears glasses doesn't mean she's a librarian."

"Okay. So... you'll talk to Brody if he comes?"

"Of course." Michelle turned and looked at Stephanie. "I'm not going to be rude. Besides, he was kind of funny."

"Good," she replied looking very relieved. "Brody doesn't like very many of my friends."

"He likes me, apparently."

Stephanie laughed. "I know. Out of all the people he could like..." she said teasingly.

"You're a bitch."

_____________________________

Brody wanted to kill himself. He had no idea why he decided to come to Stephanie's lame party, anyway. All these pretty, shallow, and on their way to Drunksville people were making him incredibly suicidal. Skinny girls refusing Chex Mix, because they were "fat" but drinking an insane amount of Smirnoff Ice's were, amazingly, not his crowd. Coming here in the hope of potentially speaking to a girl he didn't know, who probably thought he was weird, was not something that he would typically do. Plus, to make it worse, he hadn't even seen her. 'I'm in hell. My own, personal, hell,' he thought to himself. Then, as if the Devil himself had heard Brody's mind tirade, someone turned on music.

"Is this Katy Perry?" he said to himself disdainfully.

"Yeah," said Michelle as she sat down next to him.

"Oh," Brody said, quite surprised she was sitting on the couch by him. "Hi."

"Do you not like Katy Perry?"

"No. What's to like?"

"You don't find her lyrics insightful?" Michelle asked teasingly.

Brody laughed. "Well, I guess the line about kissing a girl and liking it is pretty astute."

"Yeah. And I always thought her line about her boyfriend not minding it was kind of tongue-in-cheek, because what boyfriend would mind it?"

"That sounded like a serious opinion."

"So you agree with me?"

"No. I didn't say that. To be honest, I think you're giving her too much credit. I bet it wasn't supposed to be tongue-in-cheek."

"Hmm..." she said, giving him an assessing glance. "That's kind of cynical."

"It is," he smiled. "Sorry. There's just something about being around these people that turn me into a total dick."

Then a girl shouted out, "Celebrity! Celebrity! We're playing Celebrity!"

Michelle turned to him. "Do you want to play Celebrity?"

"Sorry. What was the name of the game, again? The girl didn't say it enough times, and she definitely didn't say it loud enough."

Michelle laughed. "Let's play."

"Okay."

They both got up and moved to the other side of the room where some of the partygoers were playing Celebrity. After everyone was divided in to two teams and they all put a celebrity into the hat the same shouty girl explained the rules of the game. "Okay. So, you basically pick a celebrity from the hat and describe the person on your paper. But, you cannot use the names of bands, movies, or television shows when you are trying to get us to guess. Okay. My team will go first."

The shouty girl, who was not on Brody and Michelle's team, picked a celebrity. "Okay. I'm really pretty, and I have long, blonde hair. I'm on a TV show with a lot of gals on it. And on it, we talk about other gals behind their backs..."

"Oh! Umm... Blake Lively!" a girl exclaimed.

"Right!" then the shouty girl picked another celebrity from the hat, and continued on with her turn.

Brody looked at Michelle and asked, "Who is Blake Lively?"

"She is on 'Gossip Girl.'"

"I've never seen that."

"Me, neither, but she was in the 'Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants' movie, so..."

"And, of course, you've seen that?"

"Come on. I read the book when I was younger. Besides, it was a pretty good movie. It got Two Thumbs Up."

"So did a lot of things." Brody then smiled at her. "I'm kidding. I saw it, too. On TV. It was cute."

"Why did you watch it?"

"I don't know. The teenage girl inside me made me."

"You have a teenage girl inside you? You should get that taken care of..." Michelle then started laughing. "Sorry. That was weird."

Brody shrugged. "I thought it was funny. I should get it taken care of. Maybe then I'll stop crying at the end of 'E.T.'"

"Oh. You should never stop crying at the end of that. It's cute that you do."

"Really?"

"Mhmm."

Then that shouty girl got loud again. "Okay, my team got four points this round." She then smiled at the other team, "Let's see if you losers can beat it."

Michelle and Brody looked at the other members of their team that held a drunk girl named Julie, three horribly uninteresting girls, a douche named Corey, another guy, who Brody decided was okay because he quoted "Shaun of the Dead" earlier, and the kid who brought his guitar to the party. (A guitar that he and his friends had nicknamed "Snatch Magnet").

"Who wants to go up first?" asked the guitar kid.

"Oh. Brody does," Michelle said, smiling at him. "Don't you?"

"Sure..."

"Fine, but don't fuck this up, okay?" said the douche, Corey. "I want to kick their ass." Corey refused to lose. It was something his father had taught him from a very young age, and it was also the only way he knew how to win his father's affections. God as his witness, he will get that hug one day. And, when he does, it will be beautiful.

"It's just a game, but I will do my best."

Brody went up and grabbed a slip of paper from the hat, which was huge, pink, and rimmed with feathers. 'It's the kind of hat Elton John would have worn in his heyday,' Brody mused.

"Okay, go!" the shouty girl shouted while starting the timer.

Brody looked at the slip of paper and said, "Okay, I'm handsome and really good friends with Brad Pitt-"

"George Clooney!" one of the horribly uninteresting girls yelled.

"Yeah. That was fast." He then grabbed another piece of paper from the Elton John Heyday Hat. He looked at it and smiled. "Okay. Cool. I am a great actor, and I've won tons of awards. I'm Italian-"

"Sylvester Stallone?" guessed Corey.

"No. Oh! But I played a Cuban. There was a mountain of coke- 'Say hello to my-'"

"Al Pacino!" "Shaun of the Dead" Guy yelled out.

"Yes!" Brody said, getting into the spirit of the game. He got another piece of paper. "Oh. I have a big ass."

"Jennifer Lopez," Michelle said.

"Correct. Good job."

"Well, who else, right?"

Brody smiled. "Right."

"Jesus Christ!" douche bag Corey interrupted. "Stop flirting and pick a new one!"

"I wasn't flirting..." Brody said sourly, while he picked another celebrity. "Oh, wow. I don't think you guys will get this one."

"Just go!" yelled Corey.

"Okay. Umm... I'm an author."

"A what?" asked Drunk Julie, clearly confused.

"An author. You know, someone who writes books."

"Oh! Like Dr. Seuss."

"Yeah, but, umm, not him. Oh, gosh. He was on drugs... a magic bus..."

"Oh, I know!" an uninteresting girl said excitedly. "Bono! 'Across the Universe.'"

"Bono doesn't write books!" Corey bellowed.

"Ken Kesey," Michelle said confidently.

"Yeah," Brody said, impressed.

"Time's up!" the shouty girl declared. "It looks like you guys got four, too."

Brody resumed his spot next to Michelle on the couch, and Michelle leaned in, "That was my card."

"Why Ken Kesey?"

"I don't know. It was just in my head."

"Well, if any group of people should be familiar with lobotomies..."

Michelle laughed. "You're being cynical again."

He gave her a sheepish smile. "Sorry. That might keep happening."

_____________________________

And it did. Michelle and Brody spent most of the night talking... Well, actually mocking people. Drunk Julie ended up trying to make out with a girl to be "fun and spontaneous." Seriously. When the girl yelled at her to get off of her she said, "What's your problem? I'm only trying to be fun and spontaneous!" Michelle then shared her theory that most girls under the age of forty were horribly insecure and did whatever they could to try to make themselves more appealing to the opposite sex. Brody said that most guys do it, too, but it's not because they're insecure... it's only because they want to get laid. Both then bragged that they did not fall under the majority. This, of course, gave them a false sense of superiority.

While talking about why Brody could never be a vegetarian, Guitar Guy strummed Snatch Magnet and started to sing what he called "an original piece."

"Look at that guy," Brody said. "He's so full of himself."

"Hey," said Michelle. "I bet he's a real musician. I'm sure he has at least three pieces in his playbook, and that one is 'Good Riddance.'"

"For all of the graduation parties he attended," Brody smiled.

Michelle raised her eyebrows. "I bet it got him a lot of girls."

"Really?"

"Oh, yeah. Young, drunk, and emotional? Add a little insincere serenading and you've got them in the palm of your hand."

"And I'm the cynical one?"

"I'm just speaking the truth."

"Oh, are you?"

"Yep."

Brody looked back over at Guitar Guy and sneered. "Who brings their guitar to a party like this, anyway? Who wants to be that guy?"

"I don't know."

"It's just everything about him. The hair, for one. Do you know how long it probably takes him to make it look like he doesn't do anything to it?"

"His hair looks just like yours."

"Yeah, but this is real. I don't do anything to it."

"Oh. So you're a natural bedhead?"

He smiled. "Yeah."

Michelle then burst out into laughter.

"What?" asked Brody.

"Nothing... just... I was about to ask if the carpets match the drapes, but... that's just gross and inappropriate."

Brody's face grew serious. "It doesn't. I take care of myself down... there."

Michelle's eyes then widened. "Wow. I... Okay. On that note, it's getting a little late. I think I'm going to head home."

"Oh, no. I just didn't ruin everything, did I?"

"No. You didn't ruin anything. Don't worry about it, Brody."

"Oh... Do you need a ride home?" he asked a little eagerly.

"No."

"Oh. So you have a car?"

"Yeah."

"And... you're not too tired to drive?"

"No, Brody, I'm not too tired to drive," she smiled.

"Oh." He looked disappointed. Michelle decided to throw him a bone.

"But... if I did need a ride home, I'd let you drive me. If that makes you feel better."