Broken Salvation

I smiled as my face grew slightly red. "Thank you, Father. It's really been an honor for me though. I love giving my time to the church. It feels like it's... best spent here." Was it though? Was this really the best place I could be when I had such horribly fond feelings for the priest? Probably not.

He gave me one of those award winning smiles he seemed to always have from behind his cigarette. The look he gave made my heart skip a beat or two. I found myself wondering just why he had decided to be a priest when he could easily have any wife in this world. Maybe it was because no woman on this earth deserved him. But I was sure I was not the only one that wanted him.

Not by far.

Being at the church so frequently and for so long I had become accepted with the other women, just as my mom and I had at the previous church. Sometimes after a couple of mugs of tea, they would be less than embarrassed to talk about how hot the priest was. Of course me and mom never partook in those conversations, but we would hear them. It was fun going to church with my mom. I did however prefer it when I was alone. Sometimes I did wonder what my mom thought of all of it, but she would never tell me, even if I ever did ask. Not that I thought I would.

"Are you okay?" His deep voice brought me out of my daze and blushed even deeper when I realized I had been staring.

"Yes! I'm fine, sorry about that," I giggled nervously. "Must have just gotten a little lost in thought." It wasn't a lie, but I was also lost in him in general. It was so perverse and wrong. My eyes still lingered on him, but they moved to the almost finished cigarette between his lips. Those soft, pink lips that had touched my finger that I wanted to be all over my body. "Can I... try again?" I asked, reaching out for it, getting a surprised look from the man.

"Sure. Just don't overdo it. Can't have you choking out on me." With that he passed it back to me and I brought the filter to my lips. After a slow, light inhale, I began to cough right away. Unsurprisingly my lungs didn't like the foreign particulates. The smoke came back out in little chops from the coughing and I felt a bit silly as he laughed, taking the cigarette back from me before I dropped it on the floor..

Chapter Four

"You are not leaving this house like that! Let alone going to church!" My mom's voice was a shrill that was like a drill piercing metal when she saw that I was wearing that long pencil skirt I had made weeks before. My outfit was anything but scandalous, a little fitted maybe highlighting my bottom, but mom looked as if she could faint. It was a light brown wrap skirt with a little knot of fabric on my waist that went all the way down to my ankles that fit me just right with a short slit that went up to my knee on one side. I had even gone out and secretly bought a small white thong to wear under it so I wouldn't have to go without like I had before. I paired it with a baggy, tucked in, black, button up shirt with the sleeves rolled to my elbows.

I was tired of only getting to wear the skirt in the privacy of my bedroom, there were only so many times I could swirl it around my bedroom.I knew it looked good on me and I wanted to show it off. Maybe that was vain, but it was not like I was walking out in a mini skirt.

"Mom! It's not that big of a deal. All the ladies at church wear things like this and I love this skirt so much." I frowned, looking down at my short black kitten heels I paired with the outfit, not used to arguing with my parents at all. "Plus... I am going to help Father Boss with paperwork today. It's the perfect time to wear it." That and Sundays, but I was not about to press my luck.

"You heard me, Julia Ruth!" Her face was red with anger, getting more riled up from me talking back.

Ouch that hurt, she used my middle name. "I am an adult, mom! I'm going to wear what I want!" I snapped back at her, shocking even myself.

For a moment, her eyes were as wide as saucers but then they narrowed and she shook her head. "Well, I will be no part of it if you leave this house in that thing. You won't be taking my car."

"W-what?" My mouth opened and I couldn't believe she was doing this to me. Just because she didn't like what I was wearing.

Without another word, mom turned on her heels and went about what she was doing in the kitchen. I knew she was not kidding, but I would not let this keep me from going out just the way I wanted to. I rolled my eyes and turned on my heels as well, storming out of the house. I had to walk and throughout I was worried about how things were going to be when I got home. I knew my mom would tell dad no matter what so I was already planning on staying at the church a little longer than I normally did. The walk took me quite a while and actually made me miss morning mass for the first time since we started the new church.

By the time I got there my feet were killing me and I was sweaty and uncomfortable. To my shock, Father Boss was standing outside the front of the church. No cigarette. Just standing and when he saw me he quickly came over. "Julia! What are you doing? Did something happen?" He asked as he came to walk with me the short distance I had left before I could finally sit down and take a break.

"Sorry for being late, Father. I had a tiff with my mom and she wouldn't let me drive her car," I explained. I felt so humiliated. As an adult woman I should have my own car by then! If I did, I wouldn't have gone through all that at all. More than that I was starting to think I needed to get another job so I could work on getting a place of my own as well, no matter how scary the thought was.

Father Boss wrapped his arm around my shoulder and guided me inside and once the door closed behind us, his hand had slid and now was on the middle of my back as he brought me past his office. "You walked all the way here? Oh Julia... You should have called me or something. I would have come to pick you up." He said as we went back outside the back door. I plopped down on the steps right outside, my skirt falling open at the slit and uncovering my legs from the knee down. I moved right away to cover myself back up, but when I noticed how Father Boss' eyes lingered on them, I left it as it was. I was so exhausted I didn't even really care that he had touched my back. I wanted to care, I really did.

At that moment I was longing for any good physical emotion that anyone would give me.

He stood away from me as he lit up a cigarette between his lips, as the smoke drifted from his mouth the father came over and kneeled in front of me, his hand going to my ankle and bringing it over to him. With the cigarette in the corner of his mouth he slowly and purposefully slipped my Sunday best shoes off my heel and with his eyes looking deep into me began to rub my foot, making me gasp a little. "Father, you don't need to do that!" I said quickly as I tried to pull back, but his hold was both gentle and firm around my foot.

"I know. But, those are not exactly walking shoes you wore. Your feet must be aching horribly." He commented almost like a dragon the smoke poured from his mouth as he pushed his thumb up from the middle of the arch of my feet all the way to my toes. It was amazing to feel him pushing against the sole of my foot. The comforting smell of the smoke was pretty much forced up my nose because of the way he was below me. I sighed and leaned back on the step behind me, elbows on the wooden landing in front of the door.

Father Boss was doing amazingly at his work, he was clearly practiced, as he slipped his hands delicately over my foot, taking just a moment to de-ash his cigarette before getting right back to it. He even slipped his hand up the back of my leg a little, massaging the muscles there as well. "Glad you will be doing a lot of sitting today. You've probably done more than enough exercising for today," he said almost playfully.

His words made me smile for the first time since my argument that morning. "Yes thank God for that," I said. He swapped over to my other foot, putting the shoe beside its pair and leaving the other off for now. He had the softest and strongest hands I had ever felt in my life.

"Tell me about the argument." Father Boss said as he looked up to me while he worked, that cigarette was still securely dangling between his lips. "What could have made her do something like this?"

I sighed and felt a little embarrassed about the situation. Though, in a way I was also proud of myself for sticking with what I wanted. "Mom thinks this skirt is too tight and the slit on the side shows off too much skin. She wanted me to change, but I made it, and I have been wanting to wear it for such a long time." I explained, looking up at the trees as the branches danced in the wind above us as I spoke.

"I see. Well, you look stunning and I find the skirt to be more than appropriate, if you ask me," the father stated. I watched as his eyes darted and again smiled as he looked at my legs. He finished up with his massage and moved so that he was sitting down on the last step, right under me. He puffed on his cigarette for a moment, looking as if he was deep in thought. "It's not right that they control you to any extent. You are a young good woman they should be really proud of, Julia."

"I wish they felt the same way. But thank you, Father. It means a lot to hear that after this morning." I said as I reached down and touched the sore spot I had on the back of my heel from my shoes rubbing it raw.

"Well, I will give you a ride home later. If you would like, of course. But, you really shouldn't do long walks in the wrong kind of shoes anymore," he teased lightly with a chuckle. "I'm really impressed you made it all the way here though."

My heart thumped. "That would be really nice, Father. Thanks. And of course I made it here! I would never miss out on my duties here. Not unless I absolutely had to." Nor would I miss a day of getting to spend time with the handsome priest. We sat outside and spoke for a few more minutes before he dropped the cigarette in a nearby plant pot and I slipped my uncomfortable shoes back on and we went inside to start on the pile of paperwork he needed help organizing. I sat in a nice soft chair in front of his desk and went through the papers, making different stacks depending on what their reference number was.

"Want to pick something to watch while we work?" Father Boss asked as he offered the remote to me. I actually did want to, but I really didn't know what to watch. The only stuff I had ever been allowed to watch were things the church would play. Movies and shows on special occasions. All having to do with the Lord and salvation.

I shook my head and giggled a little. "I wouldn't even know what to put it on, honestly. We have never owned a television at home."

"Wow, quite sheltered, I see," the father teased as he started flipping through channels. He stopped flicking on some daytime talk show. I had never seen anything like it and the whole time I worked I would look over my shoulder to get a look at what was happening. I was enjoying listening to them talking about the gossip of the day about celebrities I had never heard of. It was nice to have something to listen to while I organized all the papers, though I finished far too quickly for my liking. I did get to spend a bit more time by filing everything away in an emptied drawer of the father's filing cabinet, but when I was done, I didn't want to leave. I just sat as the man in front of me as he worked on his laptop, his fingers typing so fast I found it incredible that he was actually making words. To me it looked like he was just hitting buttons at random as quickly as he could.

Looking up over his computer screen at me, Father Boss focused his kind eyes and smiled a little. "Already done? Well... I have another task for you if you enjoy baking," he offered. I perked up happily and nodded, more than happy to make something for the priest. It would be an honor. "Okay, this may seem a bit strange, but I have been very much craving an apple pie. Got all the stuff to make it and I... am really not much of a cook," he chuckled. "It came out horrible. But, I have enough to make another. Would you... make me another? One that is actually edible?"

I giggled at his little story and nodded again. "It would be my pleasure, Father." I answered as I got up and protecting my modesty, instantly straightened my skirt. It would take some time to make a pie from scratch but I was more than willing to rise to the challenge, to do so just because he wanted one. He was a good, Godly man. Father Boss deserved a sweet treat. I got up and went into the little kitchen area, already familiar with where most things were. I began my little project, getting the apples peeled and cut then going to make the crust from scratch. It was calming as I got my hands all messy with flour and such as I got it all mixed up. Once I had a good ball of dough on the countertop in front of me, I got the roller out and began flattening.

Something about the thick wooden roller had me a little mesmerized. As I rolled it onto the dough I was staring at it, wondering how it compared to a man's... private area. I had never seen one before outside of anatomy books in school. I was curious to say the least. As I used the flour to coat the outside I found myself sliding my hand over it in a way that was unnecessary. Fingers wrapped around the girth and imagining sinfully that it was Father Boss and not just wood. Realizing what I was doing I blushed and silently scolded myself for the horribly dirty thoughts I was having.

This was not my best, prettiest pie crust since I rushed myself to finish the flattening process so I could discard the roller all together, as if I would be just fine if the tool was out of my hands. My mind was still wondering though as I added the filling and covered the pie, crimping the edges of dough together with a fork before putting it into the preheated oven. With that out of the way, I made a big pitcher of lemonade and put it away in the fridge to cool down while waiting for the pie to finish.

I cleaned up my floury mess for a while, but once I was done there was still time left on the oven timer for the pie. I sighed and leaned on the counter, looking outside and as a brief cloud of smoke drifted past the window I was busy picturing what happened earlier. Thinking of how it felt to have his hands on me, rubbing so gently and giving my feet the attention they so desperately needed. Now, there were other parts of my body that craved the very same touch.

"How are things?" Father Boss' voice made me jump a little, bringing my hand up to my chest as I looked back at the man with a small laugh.

"You scared me! It's going well. The pie should be finished soon and I will put it out to cool." I told him, admiring how he laughed and smiled at me. He came over to the fridge and opened it, looking happy with the pitcher of lemonade. He even got a glass of ice and poured himself some right then.

"You're a blessing, Julia." He said as he took a sip and hummed lightly. "I am going to the Rectory to work on the sermon for Sunday. Feel free to join me if you like."

I was going to get to see the inside of his living quarters. I never thought I would see that place, but I was very curious about it and the privacy it would provide for us. "Thank you, I will come when the pie is out cooling." I told him, trying my best not to seem too excited.

"Feel free to bring the pie to cool in my kitchen," the father said as he grabbed his glass and the whole pitcher of lemonade to bring it with him back to the little house behind the church.

Once I was alone again, my mind went crazy. Was this appropriate? No. It couldn't be at all. But, that wasn't going to stop me. Nothing could stop me from doing anything I could to get closer to Father Boss, no matter how sinful it was.

God, please forgive me. If I ever got the chance, I would confess and repent for all this but, the excitement I felt coursing through me was too much to ignore.

The ding from the oven went off and I was once again pulled from my thoughts. It was time for me to take this big step in the direction of what could be Hell disguised as pleasurable Heaven.

Chapter Five

I stood outside the door to the small house Father Boss stayed in and took one last moment to consider what I was doing there, holding the pie with an oven mitt on to protect my hand. With lust in my heart, I reached up and knocked on the thick wooden door and waited for a few seconds, wondering if I should not just turn tail and bolt out of there. I didn't though. I stayed puit as he came and opened the door, giving me that welcoming smile that had fluttering rustling my tummy. "Please, come in." The father said as he stepped out of the way.

Going inside I was now in his small living area. It was nice with a small couch, coffee table, and tv on the wall. There were plants all over the place as well and they were pretty and green. I was impressed with the place, it looked far more relaxing than the immaculate "Godly" and sparsely decorated living area no one used at my home. "Wow... I didn't know you liked plants so much," I said.

He chuckled a little, "Well, I do have a bit of a green thumb. I have been contemplating making a garden for the community as well." Father Boss explained as he motioned for me to follow him up the small set of stairs behind the couch. "The kitchen is right back there through that doorway," he said as he went up. I took the pie into the little kitchen area and left it on the counter then I went up with him and into a very thin hallway that had a few doors. He took me to the first one on the left which was a smaller office, kinda like the one down stairs. Father Boss already had his laptop out on the desk and open. There was an open bible and papers scattered all over the smaller desk with three coffee cups sitting in various places. The state of the room made me giggle a little. It needed a woman's touch, that was for sure.

"Sorry about the mess." He said as he came to sit, gesturing to the loveseat sitting in front of it, against a big window that looked out over the backyard of the church. I came and took a seat, crossing one leg over the other, shaking my head as I did.

"It's fine, Father. You're a busy man, I'm sure. If you like... I wouldn't mind cleaning up around here for you." I offered, meaning it. I would actually quite enjoy cleaning up after the man.

"Oh, I cannot ask you to do that. You do so much as it is. I have to be responsible for some things in my life, Julia. And I have a lady that comes by twice a week to do some cleaning up for me as it is." Father Boss answered with a gentle laugh as he looked down at his computer screen. His fingers started up on the keys right away, typing as he bit down on his bottom lip, looking lost in his work. Judging from his sermons, I was sure he actually was.

I was silent for a moment, letting him work on his notes as I looked outside and enjoying the beautiful view it was. "At least let me take the coffee cups down with me when I go to get you a slice of pie," I finally said. The typing stopped right away and he gave me a playful sigh.

"I suppose. If I must." He relented easily enough with a smile and eye roll.

Something about being with him was so nice and comforting. I felt like I never had to think and I could just be myself with him. He was amazing. Why did he have to have a calling to the priesthood? Father Boss would make someone, me, an excellent husband. Although, without him becoming a priest I would have never even gotten the honor of meeting such a man. I was grateful even though envious that he devoted his whole life to the Lord.