Brotherly Love Ch. 02

"Well...," Horatio started to explain.

"DAD!! NO!!" the twins interrupted by screaming.

"Okay, I will tell them. Horatio walked in.....," Mom began.

"But, Mom, can't this wait until later?" the brothers whined.

"No, damn it, you've got me curious!" Mamaw insisted.

"Tell them now, boys, or I will!" Horatio warned them.

"Oh, alright! We're gay," the boys gave a partial answer.

"Finish tellin' 'em," Mom ordered the twins, who fidgeted around while dragging things out.

"Don't you think that we ought to give 'em some drinks first," Harrison stalled.

"Yeah, I think that's a good idea," Hunter supported his brother.

"Enough! I caught Harrison performing oral sex on Hunter here. They're lovers," Dad cleared his throat as he nervously told his in-laws the truth.

"I could have told you that! We figured that out ages ago. We thought that you were bright enough to think of that by now. All of the signs were there," Papaw chuckled.

"Dad, we missed that stuff because....," Mom stammered.

"Because you didn't want to believe it, right? Too busy worrying about grandchildren? Neither boy has shown any interest in girls the whole time we've known them. In fact, they are flamboyant examples of every gay cliché in existence!" Mamaw interrupted her daughter with some amusement.

"Why do you think that they run around naked all of the time? Or sleep together in the same bed? Most guys their age, even twins, would want separate rooms, or at least beds by now," Papaw observed.

"You guys, we're right here! You don't need to discuss us as if we're absent. Why do you always do that?" Hunter griped.

"See, as queer as Liberace! In fact, can they sing?" Papaw joked.

"Who the hell is Liberace?" Harrison asked.

"And no, we don't sing!" Hunter added.

"Well, unless you flirt with another guy! Then you'll sing soprano for a week!" Harrison warned his lover.

"Hey, I may look, but I never touch! Just like you and your favorite actor, Jerry Langer. Thank God, he's straight, or I'd be even more jealous!" Hunter retorted.

"Okay, ladies, that's quite enough!" Papaw got their attention.

"Don't know of Liberace? He's only one of the greatest singers and pianists ever! And you call yourselves gay! You've at least heard of Elton John, I hope!" Mamaw teased her grandsons about their ignorance.

"Well, of course, we've heard of him. Or more recently, Lance Bass! He's not bad-looking for an old, chubby guy! Mind you, Justin stayed prettier," Harrison chattered in stereotypical gay gossip mode.

"Alright, Ted Allen! This isn't a classic rerun of 'Queer Eye'," Hunter scolded his brother.

"And you thought that they were straight? Did you really quit the acid or are you high on something else? 'Cause I want whatever you're smoking," Papaw asked his daughter.

"Dad! You know that Horatio and I have never used any drugs, legally or otherwise!" Harriet lied.

"Ahchew!" Papaw replied,"Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit! Your mother and I know all about the pot that you stashed in your room! Think that we didn't smell it? We're still smoking it, especially since it's legal now."

"Hey, you're not supposed to talk about that, Harold! It's our secret!" Mamaw laughed despite her denial.

"Now, now, Hillary, they're no fools, either. Even if they didn't know that their sons were gay lovers. I've known from day one, but I always worried about how they would give us great-grandchildren. She is our only child," Papaw chided Mamaw in good humor.

"Don't worry, we're adopting! You'll get your grandchildren or great-grandchildren, depending upon who's complaining. Though I offered to make the supreme sacrifice and find a surrogate mom. Your little girl here didn't like my suggestion and threatened me with bodily harm if I actually did that. Of course, I only said that to make her jealous!" Harrison tormented Hunter.

"If you don't quit calling me a girl, I'm gonna turn you into one!" Hunter glared at him.

"Okay, stop fighting like an old married couple! I can see that y'all are destined to be together, for better or worse. No one else will be able to stand you two. God has a sense of humor, after all, or was that Cupid? Either way, quit backbiting so we can talk about this like a family," Mamaw put her foot down at last.

"Sorry, Mamaw," the twins apologized in unison.

"You should be sorry, Harrison. I'm still gonna get you for that comment," Hunter whispered to his brother while grabbing his own crotch painfully. He knew that his twin would feel his pain through their ESP.

"Damn!" Harrison caught himself swearing.

"Knock it off, both of you. It's time to talk this over like grown-ups at last," Papaw reminded them.

"How do you plan to tell your other grandparents? I'm not sure that they'll take it as well as we did. Of course, Howard and Heather might surprise us. They've done that once or twice. I still think that's funny that all of us have names that start with 'H'. That's karma or something like that. Couldn't just be a coincidence. When you adopt, you boys should carry on the family tradition. Maybe Hugh and Hilda," Mamaw needled her grandsons.

"Ew, I love you, Mamaw, but hell no! The poor things will skip that little family tradition. We're almost out of new 'H' names at this point, anyway," Harrison exaggerated, laughing lightheartedly at his grandmother's humorous request.

"Oh, come on! It's cute! Think of names like Horace and Hannah!" Hunter deliberately disagreed, mostly to jerk his brother's chain.

"I'm not having a son named 'Horace'! Hannah, maybe, but 'Horace'? It reminds me of that hippo. No thanks," Harrison argued, trying to keep a straight face.

"I'm not having a son named 'Hannah'! Poor kid would need therapy for life or try to murder us! Haven't you ever heard that really ancient song, 'A Boy Named Sue'?"

"It's not that old of a song, though it was a classic even in my day. Anyway, back to the topic on hand, I agree with adoption instead of finding an egg donor. The girl might change her mind if you did that. Plus, it's so damn clinical. I don't want my grandchild to be a test-tube baby!" Mom commented, which got Hunter sticking his tongue out at Harrison. The gesture really meant, "See, Mom likes my idea better!"

"Are you as hungry as I am? Let's change the subject to dinner and get them to quit talking about us," Hunter used their telepathy and hoped to make up for the tongue incident by coming up with a useful idea.

"Works for me," Harrison teased his brother, knowing that Hunter liked to claim that line for himself. After all, he was named partly after the TV cop who used that same line.

"Hey, I'm hungry! I think that Harrison is, too. Then again, he's so worried about his weight that he might decide to skip supper tonight," Hunter complained, while taking his revenge at his brother for stealing his line.

"The hell I will! I'm eating, with or without y'all. My stomach thinks that my throat's been cut!" Harrison replied, while getting up and mouthing "fuck you" at his brother.

"Anytime, bro. I'll use some lube, if I don't forget," Hunter sent his twin a private message through their psychic link.

"Not funny! You'd better use lube. Lots of it. Or payback's gonna be a bitch, honey!" Harrison answered very sweetly.

"Supper sounds great, though so does a nice shot of Jack right now. I'm no drunk, but I need it badly today!" Horatio remarked.

"Hurricane for me. You boys did a great job shopping, by the way. I was afraid that you'd get nothing but tequila and Clamato," Harriet spoke for herself.

"It's V8, Mom. Regular tomato juice for the Neanderthal here, of course," Hunter corrected his mom while putting down his partner's taste.

"Hey, scientists now say that we're part Neanderthal, so that's you, too," Harrison pointed out.

"Whatever, Tarzan. Here's your tomato juice, caveman," Hunter shot back.

"Does that make you Jane? Maybe I should club you on the head and carry you over my shoulder back to my cave. Besides, you're mixing two different things up. Now, give me my juice, little brother," Harrison demanded as the parents and grandparents rolled their eyes at the battle of wits. These two were so entertaining that they could never wish for straight kids instead.

"Hey, I'm only five minutes younger! Are you going to hold that against me for the rest of our lives? We're twins, for Pete's sake! Born the same day, remember?" Hunter shot daggers at Harrison for reminding him who was the firstborn.

"No, I'm gonna hold something else against you as soon as we're alone. Something nice and hard," Harrison blurted without really thinking first.

"Ew, boys! I think that I know more than is healthy about your sex lives as it is! Next time, close the damn bathroom door if you're gonna do that stuff, even if it's two hundred degrees! Either that, or keep it in the bedroom!" Dad grimaced, not wishing to think about his sons having sex with each other, even though he loved and accepted them. Gay stuff still didn't appeal to him.

"Okay, enough talk! Let's eat, before the food gets any colder! I like my lasagna nice and hot!" Mamaw stepped in and hurried everyone to the table.

"Love you, Mamaw!" Harrison and Hunter replied, trying to get on her good side.

"Love you, too, but I also like my supper warm!" Mamaw returned with a hearty laugh.

"Amen, Mom!" Harriet exclaimed as she filled the plates and salad bowls.

They were all really quiet while they ate, both from hunger and from fear of Mamaw. Even Papaw knew better than to talk when she wanted to devour food. His wife was known to kick him under the table now and then. He had the bruised shins to prove it, too.

When they were stuffed, Harrison and Hunter tried to excuse themselves and relieve the tension between them.

"Not so fast! Clear the table! The ladies need some help in the kitchen before you go off and do....whatever it is you guys do," Dad scolded.

"I don't mind that, as long as they help us first. Just keep it quiet. I don't want to hear it," Mom agreed.

"Or see it," Papaw teased his son-in-law as he lit his pipe.

"Dad! My husband doesn't need any reminders of what he saw," Mom complained, though she found Horatio's discomfort a little amusing.

"Yeah, believe me on that one! That's one image burned into my brain! Those boys are, well, huge," Horatio shuddered.

"That's TMI for me, though I believe you. I changed their diapers, remember? They were freakishly big down there, even then," Harriet shivered at the memory.

"Mom, Dad! Please don't talk about our size in front of Mamaw and Papaw! It's embarrassing!" the boys showed outrage.

"Oh, we've seen that, too. We also changed you boys. Trust me. This ain't news, though I don't care to be reminded," Mamaw made a face.

"Now, hurry up with the dishes and you guys can go play for a while!" Papaw insisted, his pot belly shaking with laughter.

Harrison and Hunter turned a new shade of red as they realized what Papaw meant by that. They rushed to clear the food away so they could escape this awkward situation and plan their getaway for tomorrow. There was also the matter of both of them being rather horny again