Brutus Beefcake goes to Hell

He grunted with frustration and bellowed loudly: "Come the fuck on! Blow me already Eddie."

Brutus looked at him – he was about to speak and tell Howard that he wasn't sure how to work with such a small dick, but he relented. He knew that no matter what he wasn't going to be able to escape his predicament. He decided that he was going to do the only thing he could possibly do. He dropped to his knees and quickly wrapped as much of his mouth as he could around Howard's penis. He knew that if he got Howard off quickly – maybe that would be it. Maybe that would be enough. So he worked with determination as he moved his mouth up and down the five inch mast that Howard had managed to get up. Howard groaned loudly and deeply. He placed his hands on the back of Beefcake's head and pushed him down further onto his penis. He demanded that the Beefcake get sloppier... he demanded to hear the Beefcake's every slurp and gag.

Edward continued slurping along the shaft of Howard's penis. He slurped and he slurped and he slurped some more. Damn. Edward was surprised by the amount of endurance that Howard had. The Beefcake had always expected that Howard would be pathetic in the bedroom, but just then – another sense of panic came into his mind. Perhaps he had made a completely wrong accusation of Howard, or perhaps the Devil was playing a trick on him. Maybe, the Devil had granted Howard some kind of magical boner and this is the blow job that would go on for hours.. for days.. or for months. Maybe even longer.

God damn it, he hoped that this wasn't the situation. However, he knew that the Devil wasn't about to play fair. He briefly remembered something his wife had taught him, something that his wife had shown him. Something that always managed to make his dick explode when nothing else would. He knew the answer out of this puzzle now – he would use Barbara's secret blow job technique.

He once again licked up and down the shaft of Howard. But then – as he got near the top he began frantically flicking his tongue at the head of the penis. He flicked aggressively, flick after flick, after flick. And then he noticed a slight tremble in Howard's legs as they began to get shaky. He continued flicking away at the head. Flick, flick, flick, flicccck. He alternated the speed of his flicking tongue making sure to hit a different spot of the penis each time. Finally – he heard Howard let out a loud guttural growl and then he felt it. A massive explosion of cum landed on Beefcake's face. It felt burning hot on his face. Even the jizz burned in Hell.

He looked up at Howard who announced: "Ladies and gentleman, your new blow job champion of the Netherworld – BRUTUS THE BARBER BEEFCAKE." As his words completed, he simply turned to ash. Once again, Brutus the Beefcake was alone.

One done, two to go. This isn't going to be so bad he began to think to himself. Sure, he didn't expect to ever in his lifetime and especially in his eternal lifetime, have sex with Howard Finkel – but it wasn't so bad. It was at the very least quick..

In the back of his mind, he was still filled with tons of doubt. He couldn't help but feel that the Devil would come through on his promise. That the Devil really would make this just as horrible as he promised. Fuck, how was he going to do that? Could there really be something worse than giving a blow job to Howard Finkel?

He soon got his answer. The very next people he came across in Hell were Jimmy Hart and Brian Knobbs. Oh Jesus Christ – when I thought it couldn't get worse. The fucking Devil himself. Well, maybe he wasn't actually the Devil but Jimmy Hart definitely has some kind of demon spirit in him to remain looking as young as he has for so long. Beefcake tries to collect his thoughts. He can't believe that he had to fool around with an old fat guy first, and now does he have to fool around with an even older guy and an even fatter guy? Is Satan some kind of weird chubby chaser? He must be some kind of old and fat fetishist. He also couldn't possibly believe that he was going to have to perform any kind of sexual act.. much less actually touch somebody who willingly referred to themselves as a Nasty Boy.

Knobbs was the first to approach him. He merely walked up behind Brutus and licked the nape of his neck.

Jimmy Hart exclaimed "Whoa whoa whoa Knobbs – chill out a bit. We've got him for as long as we like. We don't have to rush this... oh no we don't baby! I want to enjoy every moment of this!. Beefy baby, you look mighty scrumptious. I will say that being in Hell and surrounded by this fire is really doing something for ya!"

Knobbs continues to just sit there looking at the two men. He lets Jimmy continue to talk.

"So as I was sayin', we're gonna have a good ole' time with you Beefy. A real real good time."

Growing weary Brutus blurts out, "So what the fuck do you sick bastards have in mind? I've already had to stick Howard Finkel's dick in my mouth today. It can't get that much worse."

The two other men laugh loudly. Hart continues, "Well – first of all, you don't have to do a god damn thing. Simply just sit there and watch me and Knobbs. Watch as Brian humbles my ass. Let him show you how he earned the reputation as a truly Nasty Boy. You – Beefcake, just watch as Knobbs wrecks my ass with his huge penis."

Beefcake lets out a loud groan, before he states: "Fine, that doesn't seem too bad. I mean – neither of you are particularly good looking, but I've watched man-on-man porn before... some of it was just as ugly. I can handle this."

Hart turns to him: "Patience baby, we'll get going soon enough. I just have to ask Knobbs one thing – Knobbsy, when was the last time you took a shower anyway? It looks like it's been forever."

Knobbs merely shrugs his shoulders, before replying: "It's been.. longer than I can remember. More than a month at least. Who really cares about that stuff, you know? Doesn't matter to me."

"Doesn't matter to me either baby, but some of us might be a bit squeamish at that thought. A bit squeamish at the thought of such a dirty dick entering them. And oh, how can that dick get even dirtier? Come on Brian, stick that disgusting dick in me. Let's see if we can make Beefcake over there... squeamish. Let's see if we can make his stomach ache."

If you expected much patience from Brian Knobbs – you would have expected far too much. This Nasty Boy instantly removed all of his clothes to reveal his surprisingly large penis. It was a good 7.5 inches at least. He quickly approached the Mouth of the South and removed his pants as well as his tighty whiteys. You could tell that this wasn't the first time these two had engaged in this act. No, everything about this seemed like a well-rehearsed ballet. The Nasty Boy and The Mouth of the South had likely been engaging in continual anal sex for many years Then, it should come as no surprised that the two barely even wasted anytime on any kind of foreplay. Knobbs simply inserted one of his large sausage-like fingers into Jimmy Hart's tight brown hole. Jimmy doesn't even change his expression in anyway (though with his shades still on, who would really know). Knobbs continued to poke and prod his beefy fingers in and out of Jimmy Hart's puckering asshole.

Jimmy moans slightly as Brian continues to work him. It doesn't take long though before Hart's surprisingly loose asshole is wide enough. Wide enough for him to finally take in the quite dirty and quite filthy dick of Knobbs. Knobbs thrusts in and Jimmy lets out a slight whimper. Knobbs again, impatiently, starts to thrust his way in deeper and deeper. Luckily, Jimmy Hart has no problem handling all seven and a half inches of Brian Knobbs. The Mouth of the South's back hole is extremely accommodating of both the girth and length of the Nasty Boy's pecker. Jimmy again groans loudly as Knobbs continues to frantically drive his dick deep in and out of Hart.

"Whoa baby, Oooh, damn Brian. I love how you work that filthy dick. And what about you Beefy – are you enjoying our dirty show? How do you feel about watching Brian drill my ass deeply with his filthy cock? What's that? Is it making you squeamish.. or perhaps - are you enjoying it? What do you say Brian? Do you think he is enjoying the show."

"Who gives a fuck... I'm fucking dying in here. I am absolutely soaking in sweat. It's so god damn hot in Hell. Can't you feel me dripping my sweat all over your body? But then again – you do still have on that jacket. How the hell does this heat not affect you Jimmy? Oh fuck it who cares – I absolutely love the way your hips swivel as my cock pounds ever deeper into your ass. And if you want to make this boy squeamish then you can tell him about how there must be gallons of my ball sweat leaking into every inch of your ass.." - Knobbs says.

"So boy, are you getting squeamish?."

"Not yet – in fact, the show so far hasn't even bothered me. In fact, I'm even enjoying it slightly," Beefcake answers.

"We'll have to try harder then. Brian, I know what will really make him squeamish. I want you to cum deep into my ass. I want you to shoot your load up into me as deeply as you can. And then – well that's when part two of this begins..."

Fuck. There's a part two – of course there's a part two.

The Nasty Boy quickly follows Hart's command. He was already nearing the point of orgasm before and Hell's heat was beginning to take a terrible strain on him. He knew that he could barely take anymore and that he was about to collapse at any point. Knobbs gave his last few strokes all of his might and all of his power before quickly letting out the loudest groan. He erupted and sprayed his load deep inside Jimmy's ass. After his load was spent and briefly before he collapsed, he yelled over to Beefcake.

"Get your ass over there immediately and eat my cum out of Jimmy's ass. Don't let a single fucking drop spill anywhere on the ground." As he finished his statement, he collapsed to the ground and vanished into ash.

"You heard him boy, suck my ass. I want you to taste all of that filthy ass stew that Brian and I just got done making. And then I want you to continue boy, they don't call me the Mouth of the South for a reason. Not only do I love to talk a lot, but I also love for my southern mouth – my asshole – to get played with. So lick it up, nice and good."

Round two already. Brutus couldn't believe that he was now going to be drinking down Brian Knobb's sweaty, filthy, jizz and Jimmy Hart ass mixture like it was a regular drink. But what choice did he have? He had already come this far and he knew that he didn't want to spend the rest of his eternal life suffering in these ways. He knew that he had to find the strength within him and that he had to continue going on.

Brutus did what he had to. He rushed over and placed his mouth firmly against Jimmy Hart's asshole. With his lips and nose pressed as deeply as he could, Jimmy Hart spread his legs slightly and let Knobb's jizz leak out into the mouth of Brutus the Beefcake. Brutus began to slightly choke and gag as the flavor was extremely rank and bitter. He coughed loudly for another minute or two before slowly regaining his composure.

"Ooh baby, how'd that taste Eddie? I bet it was disgusting! Baby, I'm not done over here yet ... you better get back to licking my ass. It still needs some lovin!".

Brutus thought to himself, he has to finish this guy off quickly. He quickly returned his tongue to Jimmy Hart's asshole as he began to furiously lick at it. A light bulb moment occurred when Brutus remembered that his hands were still free. He decided that he would reach around while he continued licking Hart's backside. He grasped and finally found Hart's penis – and then he began to tug and twist at it. He ran his hands up and down... while simultaneously rimming Hart's posterior. And he was correct, Jimmy Hart couldn't take much more of this. After a few more minutes, Jimmy Hart finally exploded all over the hands of Brutus the Beefcake.

Hart then exclaimed, "Baby, Beefy – look how sticky your hands got. Oooh baby. There's only one more thing I want you to do, lick it up. Taste all of my southern juices."

Brutus did as he was ordered. He took his hand and placed it in his mouth. He made sure to lick every drop of Jimmy Hart's cum off of his digits. As he gulped down the last few remaining drops, he looked over at Jimmy and saw him vanish into ashes.

There was no time to comprehend what had just occurred. Brutus looked over and he was once again standing in front of the Devil. The Devil had a huge grin on his face and he began to speak:

"You've completed two of the three tasks set in front of you. But, can you truly handle this last one? After all – it's the one with the highest stakes. No matter what happens in this next sexual encounter – one of you is going to remain in Hell. One of you will have to remain here for the rest of eternity... can you handle that?"

Beefcake again looked at the Devil blankly. He wasn't sure how to respond and he wasn't sure how the Devil was going to decide who to keep in Hell. He timidly asked the Devil, "So what are the rules then? How are you going to decide who to keep in Hell? I thought.. you said that as long as I performed these tasks I would get to go to Purgatory ... god damn it, you are trying to pull a quick one on me, aren't you?"

Satan refused to answer that part of the question. "Brutus, you will be going head to head with an opponent of my choice.. in a masturbation contest. I will then decide the winner based on my own criteria.. and from there, the loser will remain in Hell. It's rather simple."

"So, I've given a blow job to Howard Finkel, I've watched Brian Knobbs and Jimmy Hart have sex, and I've given a rim job to Hart also... and now all I have to do is masturbate? That seems like I'm getting off easily here.."

"Maybe you are.. and maybe your opponent has something on you." - Satan responds.

"Well then – who the FUCK is my opponent?" - Beefcake demands to know.

Without delay, Hulk Hogan's music can be heard. Hogan then appears in his usually cocky manner, strutting along as his theme song blares throughout Hell. Beefcake looks over at his best friend and simply sighs. He begins to panic as he realizes that either him or Hulk is going to be spending the rest of their life in hell. And hell, what were the rules of this masturbation contest going to be? All he knew is that he began to worry about being able to compete in any kind of contest against somebody with twenty-four inch pythons.

"Hey there brotha, looks like we uh.. got a nice competition here. And you better believe that the Hulkster doesn't want to spend the rest of his life here. So whatcha gonna do brotha when the Hulkamaniac strokes better than you"

"Let's just get this fucking thing over with Hogan. It's already been a long fucking day and I'll be damned if I'm spending the rest of my life in this god forsaken place. If I have to jerk off faster than you do, or cum more than you do or whatever the fucking rules are, I'm going to do it. I'm fucking done with these demons and everything in this fucking place. These flames are god damn ridiculous." - The Beefcake responds.

Both men immediately dropped their pants and started jerking off as the Devil watched them with a huge grin on his face. It seemed like both Brutus the Barber and Hogan were trying to outdo each other, and were going back and forth trying to match the pace set by the other man. There was little finesse in this whole ordeal, no – it was purely carnal. Both men furiously masturbating and trying to get off as quickly as possible. And meanwhile.. Satan just continued to laugh.

Ten minutes had passed and both men were pounding away. Their muscles began growing tense and the sweat poured down their faces. Their faces were flush and bright red. Hogan began to yell out - "Oh god, brotha, I'm about to blow OOH whatcha gonna do?"

Satan looked at Hogan, pensively.

Beefcake continued to ramp up the speed of his strokes. "OH NO you don't Hogan, I'm going to be the first one to come. Oh yes I am."

"Brotha, don't fucking kid yoursel-"

Both men groaned out in pleasure as they both unleashed their loads simultaneously. Their seeds spilling onto the ground right in front of the Devil. He merely looked at the two men as they collapsed to the ground, panting for their breath. Satan remained silent.

Finally, Beefcake found the courage to look straight at the Devil. "Satan, who won the masturbation contest? I mean – I'd like to know and I'd like to know right fucking now. Stop making us wait on everything."

"You did, Edward. All you had to do was complete the task.. and besides, did you really think that I was ever going to let Hogan escape from Hell. After everything that Hogan has done and everything that Hogan has said. This is where he deserves to be now and for the rest of time. And if you thought what we put you through was torturous, just know that we have far far worse planned for Hogan. There is a long long line of people just waiting to torture Hulk. But, are you ready to leave here now?"

"Fuck yes, I am" - Brutus responds.

Suddenly, Brutus the Barber Beefcake was lifted once again to the spot in the sky that he had originally met St. Peter at. He briefly thought about his friend Hulk Hogan and was slightly sad, before he finally smiled and realized that it was better Hogan than him. He began to speak loudly to no one in particular - "So this is Purgatory, it's nothing. Nothing. There's nothing here, there's nobody here, and this is how I will spend the rest of my life. In silence."