Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Sexydale

She opened her legs wider, stretching her panties out, and when she looked down, she could see her curly red bush mingling with the sleek, sexy arrow of Cordelia's shaven pubic hair.

"I think I've been wanting to do this! I think we've both been wanting to do this!" Willow gasped, her hands digging into Cordelia's perfect ass, which bulged a little but not a lot, which was made for hot pants to cling to every curve of, not like Willow's own ass, flat and boyish—Cordelia's she wanted to spank.

"God, I can feel your clit when we rub together," Cordelia said, grimacing. "It's so weird."

She ground her sex at Willow's, feeling the sweet press of Willow's labia lips to hers, the little tickle of Willow's pubic hair on her own sensitive places, the odd fit of two things so alike and unalike. They rubbed together so smoothly—slipped right off each other, but held onto each other for so long...

Willow's voice was hot panting on the skin of Cordelia's throat. "I'm already coming, Cordelia!" Willow squealed. "Ahhh! Ohhh! Keep going! This is so good! I'm doing it so hard, so big!"

Cordelia shook with lust. She didn't want to drag it out, especially when she wasn't the one getting off. She slapped her cunt against Willow's, slapped Willow against the stone underneath. She felt Willow's clit pulse, so hard it jangled into hers. Christ, it was touching hers. It felt so fucking weird—so fucking good.

Willow squeaked; her quick thrusts almost tossed Cordelia off her climaxing body. The more Cordelia held her down, fucked into her, the more she clenched. Cordelia's own clit was throbbing now, fuck. Sometimes a quick cum was the best.

"Nnnnng!" Cordelia whined, driving herself furiously at the writhing target under her. The connection was so slippery, so electric, that Cordelia could barely keep them joined. The surging of their bodies together fed her craving.

Willow's tensed body finally flattened against the sarcophagus. She laid there gasping. Keeping her cunt tipped up high for Cordelia's pleasure.

"Let me eat you, Cordy!" Willow breathed. "I'll do a good job, I promise, I'm a very fast learner and I've thought about it so much, so much-!"

"Yeah, damn right you're going to eat my pussy," Cordelia said, rolling over onto her back. "You're the lesbo, after all. You'd better do what you're wired for, after I made you come like a broken water fountain, probably just because I'm so hot. A little gay like you can't help yourself when there's a cheer captain on top of you. And fuck, now you get to eat me out! You must've done something good in your past life, like invent plaid..."

All she had to do was open her legs and Willow leaped between them, lapping up the flow from Cordelia's swollen cunt. Cordelia arched her sex up, watching the greedy redhead eat her pussy. Who would've thought the girl dating a werewolf loved kitty so much?

After Willow had lapped and sucked the initial arousal from Cordelia's folds, she turned around on top of the sarcophagus so she was lying backwards on top of Cordelia, positioned for sixty-nine as her silky lips fastened onto Cordelia's clit. The redhead moaned fiercely as she sucked the tender little button into her mouth. Meanwhile, Cordelia stared at Willow's slit.

"Ummm... what the fuck am I supposed to do with this?"

***

Xander knew this was nonsense. He was used to nonsense, but it tended to be other people's nonsense. Not his friends'. The weirdest thing about his fellow Scoobies was that Buffy was dating a vampire. And ever since Interview With A Vampire came out, apparently that wasn't weird at all. Not like dating a Frankenstein or something.

But now he was watching Cordelia and Willow—two women who got along about as well as Bette Davis and Joan Crawford—and they were getting along. They were getting along well. He would like to get along that well with Cordelia, and he was her boyfriend. Come to think of it, he would like to get along that well with his good friend Willow too, if that was what she looked like in a world where J.C. Penney hadn't been invented.

There were other things he should be thinking. Like the fact that Cordelia was cheating on him, or that Willow was a lesbian, or that they both were lesbians, or that Willow was a big enough lesbian for both of them, or even that maybe he shouldn't be spying on two people having sex. But aside from the vague acknowledgment towards the fact that those thoughts should be present and accounted for—a Drake Equation for lesbian sex thoughts—he really wasn't concerned with any of that.

Instead, and the Drake Equation said this should strike him as really weird, he was filled with confidence. Like the feeling of triumph he'd taken in dusting a vampire with more forehead than Christina Ricci, but multiplied a hundredfold. It was unshakable confidence, bordering on arrogance, a kind of self-esteem that Xander was altogether unused to. So unshakable, that even realizing his usual lack of self-assurance didn't put a dent in it. And it was telling him that these women would absolutely buy that three was company.

Hell, that four was company, if Buffy were around...

***

Hands reached through the breach in the crypt's doors, removing the locking bar from its brackets, then opening the door. His long, lean body appeared there, totally nude, his cock standing up and out with precum already leaking from its tip.

Standing next to the sarcophagus, he gripped Willow's hips and found her sex with his prick. "Mind if I play through?" he asked, fucking his monstrous cock into Willow, making the redhead cry out against Cordelia's womanhood.

"Mmmm, fff, ohhh, gosh!" Willow managed, defying the grinding Cordelia was doing with her pussy against Willow's mouth.

Cordelia looked up at his cock. She hadn't gone down on Xander enough times to recognize it by anything but size—if she were a better girlfriend, maybe she'd mention that he was packing better than most of the football team—but the lame joke was hard not to recognize. "Oh, I cannot believe you're cheating on me!" she crowed as Xander thrust into Willow, his scrotum slapping against Cordelia's face.

"Hey, you're the trendsetter," Xander told her. "And you're always saying how we never do anything fun together."

"Yes, fun, not Willow!" Another pumping motion and Xander's balls flew into her eyes. She shut them tightly, but felt the moistly sweaty skin rubbing against her face as he fucked the redhead.

"Willow's fun," Xander protested. "You might even say she's open to new experiences."

Cordelia opened her eyes and saw Xander's thick shaft disappearing into Willow's snatch again. This close, it was like watching it on an IMAX screen. "Well, she's not being much fun now!" She reached down to rustle Willow's hair. "Get back to sucking my clit. If Xander can find it—" And he was, regularly, right in front of her, "—then you can too!"

"Uhhh, ohhh, whoa, Xander's so deep, I didn't know it could go this deeeeep!"

"Make me come, Willow, or I'll make Xander take his cock out."

"How will you do that?" Xander asked smugly, savoring Willow's tightness as he pistoned into her.

"I'll let him put it in me," Cordelia replied, even more smug.

Xander had to admit, that just might work.

Willow knew him well enough to realize the same. "I bet no one else realizes they're bi this way," she moaned, her lips wrapping around Cordelia's staggeringly erect clit.

"Uhhhhh, my clit feels—you're making my clit-!" Cordelia shook her head. "Suck my clit, Willow, yes!"

Willow kept her mouth glued to Cordelia's twitching clit, Cordelia whimpering with relief, Xander grinning down at both of them as he fucked himself in and out of Willow. He'd joined them on top of the sarcophagus, kneeling on its lid with them, and was now hunched over Willow's cunt and Cordelia's face as he threw himself into Willow.

"So fucking tight!" he groaned. "Hold your ass still, Wills, let me fuck it!"

Willow lifted her mouth from Cordelia's cunt, her expression twisting with passion as Xander jammed his cock into her. Her modest breasts jiggled deleteriously with each hard jab of Xander's prick, and for once Willow didn't wish she had a bigger cup size. She loved the way they just flew, virtually weightless at the end of Xander's thrusting.

"Damn good pussy, Wills," Xander chuckled. "Nice and tight. Just enough room for my cock."

"Fuck her good and hard, Harris," Cordelia breathed, panting hard now as she stared at Willow's cunt taking him. "Fuck faster! Make her come! Fuck a big load of cum up in her cunt. Fill it all the way up. Oz doesn't give her nearly enough hard cock. He can't get it up. She sucks it and plays with it and rubs her tits on it, but he can't even come!"

What the frack? Willow wondered, but unable to care too much as Xander fucked her harder, fucked her faster. Then drove deep inside her and held still, taking Cordelia by the hair and dragging her to his balls.

"Suck them," he growled. Cordelia was too into it to resist. She opened her mouth, popped them inside, almost gagged on them, sucking his scrotum as she lashed his balls with her tongue.

Willow sat up, now kneeling with her thighs straddling Cordelia's face, still intimately connected to Xander. She spoke to him over her shoulder. "Would you like me to suck them too?" she asked.

"No," Xander said, and put his hands on her hips. He actually jerked her whole body back, moving her back and forth on his stationary cock, fucking her slender body on it as if she weighed less than nothing. "I want you to fucking come."

That, ironically enough, ended up being like pulling a finger out of a dike. "Uhhhh, fuuuuck!" Willow wailed. "Yes, yes, Jesus, I can feel you coming! You're coming inside me! I'm coming! I'm squirting!" Cordelia saw Willow's buttocks clench, then it was like someone had poured a glass of water out on her belly. Warm water. "Oh fucking shit sonuvabitch! My lady parts feel nice!"

"Redheads!" Xander grunted loudly, and finished in Willow's pussy, his cum filling her, overflowing from her, running down to wash over Cordelia's face.

She came too. Peer pressure.

Xander pulled out of Willow, prompting another wave of his seed to flow out of her and onto Cordelia's clavicle, and he slapped his slimy cock against Cordelia's face. "Clean me off," he said. "I know you wouldn't want this dirty the next time you give me a handy."

Cordelia felt a momentary disgust pass through her as she looked at the sticky mix of Willow's juices and his own cum that was dripping from Xander's cock. It was followed by curiosity. Then, excitement.

She lapped along his soaked prick, gathering up every bit of the two delectable tastes. She clenched when Xander jerked her mouth open and stuck his cockhead between her lips, and gave him the lingering wet kiss she knew he wanted, playing her tongue over the deep cleft at his tip.

Cordelia decided to give him a real treat then. She tried to stuff the tip of her tongue down his slit. It wasn't possible, but it gave them both a hell of a charge in the attempt.

Her reward was a mouthful of cum.

Xander came again, right down her throat. Cordelia choked and sputtered, but didn't try to get away. She swallowed as much of his seed as she could, and what bubbled back over her lips she rubbed into her skin with her hands. She thought vaguely that now that she was wearing Eau de Loser, she'd probably have monster skanks all across Sunnydale trying to grind on her, and then she felt Willow rearranging herself to spoon, to fucking spoon with her. Not that she thought anything of it. Mostly she just thought of ways to get more cum.

"Can I help clean?" Willow asked all chipper, looking up at Xander with her big puppy dog eyes. "I mean, if there's enough to go around..."

Xander took one look at her, pulled out of Cordelia's mouth, and aimed himself at Willow. A few jerks and he'd come a third time, showering Willow's face until it was a mirror image of Cordy's. A rope of cum striped Willow's left cheek, while a thick geyser burst off the cute little bulb of her nose and clogged her flaring nostrils. A final wave of jism spurted all the way up into her right eyebrow, then cascaded down her eyelid and over her cheek.

Willow had never felt so completely soiled, so utterly defiled. She had never imagined it was possible for a girl to feel so dirty.

She wondered if Xander was doing anything Friday.

***

They stumbled out of the crypt together. Cordelia wore Xander's jacket, thanking God and all the saints that while he might not be brawny, he was tall. His jacket came down to her thighs.

"So is this a Betty and Veronica thing?" Xander asked. "Am I Archie? I was always more partial to Jughead..."

"I think you could pull off Archie," Willow said encouragingly.

"Thanks, Will."

"First Scooby-Doo, now Archie Comics?" Cordelia asked. "Can you guys relate anything that happens here to something from this millennium?"

"What if I'm Gilligan," Xander said, "you're Mary-Ann, and you're Ginger?"

"Why would you want to be Gilligan?" Willow asked. "He keeps them from getting off the island. Being Archie was working out for you."

"Not sure I could handle the responsibility."

"Hey guys," Buffy said. Cordelia tried not to ignore that in her leather jacket and miniskirt, they had a twinsies look going. "Scratch one Monistat demon."

"Is that really its name?" Cordelia asked.

"Weird coincidence. How'd you guys do?"

"I, uhh," Xander began, suddenly wondering how pocket tissues and a little of the girls licking each other's faces did at removing evidence, especially when it came to Slayer senses. "I staked one."

Willow put her arm around his ribs. "He staked a lot tonight." If she realized the double entendre, her sunny smile showed no sign of it.

"That's great," Buffy said, smirking. "It gets kinda fun, doesn't it? Patrolling."

"Oh yeah," Cordelia said. "I love being mauled, having some monster dick in my face—"

"A monster dick?" Buffy interrupted.

Cordelia colored. "You know... a dickish monster. A monster who's a real dick. Like you never make quips?"

"I try to keep them a little more tasteful. Than a monster dick," Buffy said leadingly.

Willow broke in. "She's right, though. It can be kinda scary... having dickish monsters all over you. Being dicks... about it."

"I suppose that part's as fun as you make it," Buffy replied. "Faith really loves it. Others not so much. Like Willow, I wouldn't figure you for the type who likes it."

"I like trying new things," Willow said. "Or old things. I can like more than one thing."

"Xander, how's your thing?" Buffy asked.

"My what?"

"You know, whatever you're into now. Working on hot rods. Pumping irons. Whatever guys do when they're alone." Buffy looked between Cordelia and Willow. "Has Xander showed you two what he does when he's alone?"

"Uh, no, no—"

"As if!"

"Too bad," Buffy said. "I'd love to see it. Anyway, it's getting late. I think we've had enough staking for one night."

"I could stand a little more," Willow said under her breath.