Butt, Balls & Pitts

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A hotel guest is surprised by his maintenance person.
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As I laid naked on the soft King sized bed, a trickle of sweat ran down my back and raced for the crack of my ass. Everything felt hot. The sheets were hot, the pillow was hot, and more importantly, I was hot. ‘It’s a dry heat,’ is all I heard from the locals, but at nearly midnight in Las Vegas and the needle still hovering around 90, I didn’t care what the locals said. I was hot.

I couldn’t take it any longer. Getting up from bed, the sheets sticking temporarily to my skin, not letting go like a distressed lover, I sleepily sauntered over to the window air conditioner. It was set on ‘high’ and was noisily blowing hot musty air into the dark room.

Shit.

I moved the sun drapes away from the window and found the sliding glass door bolted shut to keep distressed gamblers from skipping out of their bill by taking the express elevator eight stories straight down.

Shit.

I moved back towards the bed. Picked up the phone receiver, I pushed “0.”

“Front Desk,” I heard in my left ear.

“This is room 812, where the Hell is my maintenance guy?” I heard myself say a little to roughly. After all, it wasn’t the desk guy’s fault I was melting away like an ice cream cone in August. “I called almost three hours ago, my A/C isn’t working, and it’s hotter than a camel’s foot in here.”

“We’re experiencing some difficulty due to the lateness in the hour, sir.” The man said. “I’ll ring down there again and see what I can do, okay?”

“Not really,” I grumbled. “But it will have to do.” I slammed down the receiver and said to no one in particular, “Dickhead.”

I moved from the small main room into the bathroom and turned on the water preparing for the 3rd shower of the evening. As I waited for what little hot water I demanded to warm up, I stood over the sink and pissed into it. I watch the yellow streak as it poured from my dick into the porcelain receptacle. Fuck the maid, I thought. I was really is a crappy mood right now. I tried to figure out a way to get the desk guy up here to clean my piss. I turned on the faucet and “flushed” the sink, using my hand to swish the cool water as it disappeared down the drain. Hell if I know why I did it considering the commode just sat there watching me probably wondering the same thing.

I checked the shower water temp, and satisfied, I stepped into the cool artificial waterfall. I let the water run over my short red hair and down my back. As it whisked the heat from my body, it too cooled my temper. I wasn’t mad that I had the fantasy of Mr. Desk Clerk washing my sink, but I did feel silly for pissing in it to begin with.

I washed my armpits, balls, cock, and lastly, my ass. I grinned as I remembered my Dad saying when we would go tent camping and it was time to shower underneath a tree with just a bucket of cold lake water.

“Butt, balls, and pits boys. Just wash the essentials, and you won’t offend your mother too much.” Some days I really missed that old son of a bitch.

I shut off the water and stepped into the heat of the bathroom once again. The water I used was so cool, not even a speck of steam had dared to show itself onto my mirror. I towel dried, put on deodorant, and in fit of madness, grabbed the hotel robe from the hook on the door. I was going to go out and wait for the maintenance guy in the lobby of my floor. When I came up I noticed a couch, chair, end table, and phone. What else would I need?

As soon as I stepped into the dimly lit hallway and heard the door closed behind me, I thought of something else I would need.

A key.

Shit.

Oh well, Mr. Maintenance would have one for sure, and if he didn’t I would go down and choke one out of the scrawny neck of Mr. Desk Clerk. I guess the water hadn’t washed away as much of my temper as I had previously thought.

After making the brief walk to the lobby area, I saw at least my memory was still working in the heat and made myself comfortable in the soft leather chair. I would have a clear view of the elevators from here and would catch Mr. Maintenance by surprise. He thought he was having a bad night before…

The ding of the elevator’s electronic bell awoke me with a start. Groggily, I opened my eyes and for a split second forgot where I was. As my senses came back, I watched as a young woman of about 25 or so stepped off the elevator. She stood about 5 foot 6 and was wearing a V-neck mans T-shirt that barely held in her very ample-dare I say large- breast, and tight blue jeans that came in hard around her small waist. Raven hair hung down past her shoulders pointing towards her beautiful round ass. She was nearly void of makeup, but didn’t need it. Her olive, sun kissed skin reflected the harsh fluorescent light, highlighting her small nose and crimson painted lips. Turning away from me, she looked out the window towards the busy Las Vegas Strip 8 stories below. I had slunk down into my chair and sat mesmerized as I stared at the thing she was carrying.

A leather pouch overflowing with tools, and wire.

This was “Mr. Maintenance?”

She turned back away from the window and did a little jump as she brought her left hand up to her heart. Her breast jiggled as it was obviously the first she had seen me, and almost as quickly as her fright had come, it passed. She got a big grin on her face and said.

“Are you expecting someone?” Pointing at my robe.

I looked down and could not believe what I saw. My six-inch cock was at full mast standing out of my robe in front of God and everyone to see. Apparently, after I had dozed off, I got morning wood, and woke up so quickly I failed to notice. That, and staring lustily at my custodian hadn’t made it go down. I sat up and pulled the flaps of my robe back, tucking my willy up against my belly. I instantly felt my face flush, and all I could say was, “Um, no. I mean, yes, but not what…”

It was too late, she had already made the turn and was walking up the hallway towards what I hoped was my room. She stopped at my door, and knocked on it heavily.

I caught up to her and said, “This is a little hard.”

She turned at my voice, looked into my face then down at my robe again. “Yes, I saw that.”

“No, no, you don’t understand,” I stammered, retying the knot in my robe. My Johnson was still hard as steel and I tightened the cloth around the misbehaving little shit. I flinched. “I meant hard, as in difficult.”

“I understand,” she said in her soft sexy voice. “Now if you’ll excuse me.” She turned back towards the door and wrapped her delicate knuckles more firmly on the faux wood. “Mr. Anderson? Maintenance.” She nearly hollered.

“Um, that’s me.” I said in a weak voice. “I’m Mr. Anderson-I mean Dick-Richard, call me Richard.” I put out my right hand.

She took it warmly into her small, soft hand and gripped it more firmly than I would have expected from such a petite woman. “Pleased to meet you, Richard.” Releasing her grip, she reached down and grabbed my now half flaccid cock through my robe saying, “And you too, Dick.”

I let out a small groan as a bolt of pleasure shot up my spine and Mr. Johnson sprang back to life. I wanted to grab her and let my cock take over, but I refrained and said, “I forgot my key inside. I left in such a hurry wanting to give the maintenance guy a piece of my mind that,” I stopped myself. She was staring into my face, looking up at me with emerald eyes, I felt myself falling in love.

“Mr. Maintenance, eh?” She said sarcastically, while reaching into her leather pouch, producing a plastic card similar to the one I locked in my room. Without another word, she slid the card into the fake brass slot, pulled it out quickly, and while the little green light flickered, she turned the handle and motioned me inside.

I extended my arm to hold the door and said in my best macho voice, “after you.”

She grinned and entered the desert better known as room 812.

“Woe, it’s hot in here!” You should have called sooner.

“I called over 3…” I stopped myself because she was grinning at me.

“I know. Three hours ago. I’ve been busy. By the way, my name is Angela.” She extended her hand again. I wanted to place my dick there, but took her paw instead.

“Can you fix it?” I said in desperation.

“I dunno, let’s see.” Angela walked over to the malfunctioning contraption and looked it over like a mother would look over her drunken teenager. “I can fix it,” she announced.

Watching as she reached into her pouch and pulled out a small bottle, she untwisted the cap, and took a long slug on it. I was beside myself. “What are you doing?” I insisted.

“Fixing your air conditioner.” And with that, she turn one knob and with nary a growl the tin machine started blowing cool air.

I rushed over. “What did you do?” I blurted.

She grinned that wicked smile of hers and showed me. “See this?” she said, pointing to the control knob. I noticed it was pointed towards HEAT and all the way over in the red zone. Before I could answer her hypothetical question, she pulled it off and turned it around. Now instead of pointing towards HEAT, it pointed towards COOL.

“Kids do this shit all the time.” It’s fixed.

I was flabbergasted. All night long I had the damn thing set on HEAT thinking it was COOL, blowing hot air blissfully. But before I could even thank her, she said. “Do you mind if I use your shower? It’s been a long night and the boss thinks I’m up here rebuilding the Titanic or something.”

It took me almost a millisecond to answer. “No problem!” I said almost too eagerly.

“And can you do something about this?” She handed me the empty airline bottle of JD.

“Hey, I’ve got an entire wet bar in here,” I said confidently. “I’ll mix us a couple of drinks while you shower, okay?”

“Us?” She disappeared into the bathroom, closing the door.

I stood outside the door for what must have been five minutes listening to the sounds emanating from behind the flimsy whitewashed door. The water running made my imagination run wild. I pictured her soaping up her perfect breast and running her hand between her tanned legs to clean her labia and asshole. Was she playing with herself? Did my hard-on make her want to stay? Or does she always use the shower of men she just met?

Finishing my little fantasy, and keeping my cock tight and sore, I peeled myself away long enough to mix a couple of strong drinks in hopes of keeping her interested in staying.

“Do you always piss in the sink?” She had come out quietly and snuck up behind me.

“Only when “Mr. Maintenance” is late.” I countered, handing her a tumbler with JD and coke. She was wearing her jeans and T-shirt again. The cotton clung to her skin like a monkey to tree.

“I’ll keep that in mind. By the way, I used your toothbrush, I hope you don’t’ mind.” She smiled.

Maybe later we can pick out drapes, I thought. “Not at all,” I said.

She walked over to the glass wall and pulled the sun drapes back with a sharp tug on the string. Stepping around the overstuffed chair and in front of the open window she said to no one in particular. “I loath Vegas.”

“Really? Why?”

Without turning around, she said, “I used to be a showgirl, you know.”

“No, I didn’t. I thought you were born to fix dumb ass guest A/C units.” I tried to lighten the mood. I wanted to get on the bed, not the shrink's couch.

“Nope. I worked at the Gentlemen’s Club right down there.” She pointed at a small unassuming building while taking a sip of her drink.

I stepped behind her and looked over her shoulder. Her freshly washed skin smelled lightly of lilac and I wondered what else she had in that leather pouch. I couldn’t take it much longer, my dick was going up and down like a cheap roller coaster and it needed relief. As I leaned in behind I let my hand brush the small of her back. My idea of safe sex is if she doesn’t fight it, move in. If she complains, I plead innocence. I’m a wimp.

“They said my breast sag.”

My mouth went dry. What I said next would be either the icebreaker, or neck breaker. Trying to keep it light, I said. “I couldn’t say for certain.”

In one move, and without moving away from the window, she pulled her shirt up over her head. I could see her tits in the window reflection. For some reason, I thought of the people passing underneath and wondered if they could see us. I also wondered if any of them would say her breast sagged.

I reached up with both hands and cupped her from behind. They felt heavy in my hands, and I started to finger her large areolas between my index and middle fingers. The nipples hardened quickly and she moaned seductively in my left ear while she raised her arms up and grasped the back of my neck. I kissed her nape and for the first time got a glimpse of those “sagging” tits.

“They don’t know what the fuck their talking about.” I whispered.

Angela turned around and we kissed deeply. Our tongues probing each other’s mouths like a dog licking the bottom of a food bowl. I think my cock grew an extra inch because it was so stretched and hard. My robe fell open and I rubbed it on her now naked belly.

She reached into her glass, pulled out an ice cube, and rubbed my pole with it. The shock was incredible, painful, and jolting all at the same time. I instinctively pulled my hips back but didn’t let our lips unlock. She started to laugh, and so did I. We parted.

“You don’t like ice Richard?” she asked with a grin.

“I’ve never experienced it before.” I admitted.

“Oh. Well you must now.” She reached into my robe, pulled it off my shoulders, and let it fall to the floor. Completely naked now in front of the wide-open window, I never felt so alive. She stepped forward, kissed me on the nose, and dropped to her knees. My cock bobbed in front of her and without thinking, I took it in my right hand dancing it around beautiful face. She closed her eyes, letting the pre-cum smear over her eyelids and lips. Finally, she parted her lips and I pushed my rod into her soft mouth.

She was an expert. (Aren’t they born that way?) Rubbing my balls, as she sucked up and down my shaft. I was starting to get into it, when she stopped, found her drink on the floor next to her, and took out another ice cube. Locking eyes and without a word she put the frozen piece in her mouth, then my cock. I was in heaven. The hot and cold sent shivers up and down my spine. She would alternately suck my cock and lick my aching balls. Then in one swift move, she took my shaft deep down her throat, rubbed my tightened nut sack, and pushed a finger up my ass. I moaned and shot the largest load I’ve had since I was a teenager. I just kept Cumming. She swallowed what she could, and let the rest dribble down her chin onto her tits. What a turn on.

She stood up, and kissed me deeply, sharing my spunk. I had never tasted my own cum except when I had jacked off as a kid. This was definitely better taking it from a Goddess’s mouth.

“Sorry.” I started to say.

She put her hand on my lips and said, “I did that so you’ll last longer. I figured you’ve had a hard-on for over an hour now. If I let you into me, you’d blow your load, fall asleep and I’d have to finger myself like I did in your shower.”

It usually takes at least half an hour to get me up and running again, but between her dirty talk and actions, I was almost ready again. I pulled her close and kissed her deeply, tasting the last of my cum, while I roughly handled her tits and nipples. She moaned as I moved my mouth down to suck greedily on each one.

She was still wearing her jeans and that needed to change. As I sucked on her right tit, I undid her button, slid her zipper down, and pulled her pants around her ankles. I reluctantly pulled my mouth away as I helped her step out of the denim confines. Now my face was at her pussy level and I was very surprised to see light blonde hair clinging to her soft mound.

I looked up at her and said, “So which one do you dye? Your head or your pussy?”

“Fuck you,” she said mockingly. “People don’t take blondes seriously so I dye my hair. Now, you gonna talk or you gonna eat?”

I didn’t answer in words. I wrapped my hands behind her and grabbed her perfect ass in my hands. She raised her left leg and set it on the chair leg next to the window. I teased her, with my tongue and teeth nibbling on her bare thighs and fingering the crack of her ass.

“Oh God, you’re driving my nuts.” She moaned huskily.

“Turn around,” I demanded.

“What?”

“You heard me. Do it.”

She grinned that million-dollar grin and did what she was told. As she turned, I ran my fingers over her silky smooth skin and teased her every move. After she completed her pirouette I gently pushed her over the chair and spread her long legs. I pushed my tongue into her pussy with one quick move and she jumped almost out of my grasp. She was as wet as a ripe peach, and just as tasty. Her womanly cum ran down my chin as I greedily licked her lips trying to catch all of the dew.

Inserting my thumb into her and found her clit. She started bucking up and down like a bronco and it was all I could do to stay in control.

But I wasn’t done.

As I thumbed her swollen clit, I moved my mouth up the perineum and started rimming her ass. She nearly screamed as she came in a gush, juices running down her thighs and all over my left hand. Her pussy convulsed repeated as did her little brown button around my now very tired tongue.

“Jesus, no one has ever done that before.” Standing up.

“Oh I find that hard to believe. A perfect ass like yours needs a tongue bath at least every other day.” I said grinning, still on my knees. “I’ll gladly volunteer.”

“I’ll keep it in mind,” she answered.

I stood up and we stared at each other for only a moment. Then like two animals in heat, we moved towards each other quickly. We were a typhoon of hands, feet, and tongues. I wanted inside her badly. My cock was like a steel rod looking for lightning.

She pulled me over to the bed, and down on top of her. I lifted myself up onto my elbows and took in the beauty beneath me. Her plump tits hung slightly ajar of her body, telling me they were the real deal. (Something I already knew.) Her dark hair, bunched up above her head, highlighted her lovely features and I found myself wondering what she would look like blonde. My eyes wondered down to her womanhood and saw the matted hair of her pussy, and her swollen pussy lips barely concealed. All the while, she ran her hands over my bare chest and through the hair on my head. She moved one hand down, took my manhood in it, and guided me to the Promised Land.

I slid into her like a hand into a glove. With just enough resistance so I needed to push in. We moaned in unison, as I started to glide back and forth. I wanted to last, so I took it slowly. Each time I felt my balls rise, I would slow, or stop, making her beg me to begin again.

The now working air conditioner could not keep up with the heat our bodies produced as sweat ran down my back for the second time tonight. The odor of our lovemaking filled my nostrils and pushed me to the brink. I needed to stop, or lose my load, so I pulled out slowly. Her pussy squished under me and a pout crossed her delicate crimson lips.

I arose on my knees and gently pushed on her right side. She got the message and rolled over onto her knees. I massaged her lovely ass and parted her cheeks letting my thumb touch her sensitive bunghole. She moaned, and I slid my cock into her pussy again. This time I had more room to move and I started pounding her hard. She slammed her hips back into me as my balls happily bounced against her mound. I reached up and put my thumb next to her mouth, she greedily sucked it like a baby on a bottle. After it was good and wet, I took it back and worked it into her ass. She came almost instantly in a shuttering orgasm. I stopped stroking my cock inside of her and let her orgasm subside.

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