Car Tricks

Back in the Eighties, I cut a fine figure of a man in my mechanic's coveralls. Without a word of a lie, one young local lady referred to me as 'that greek god over there'; it may have been an ironic referral, however.

That being said, my focus in life wasn't so much the occasional eligible bachelorette that crossed my path, it was trying to eek out a living as a new wrecking yard owner. Don't get me wrong, I was highly sexually arousable; I lacked the social skills to have what people today would call 'play with the ladies'. 'All good things come to those who wait', I'd tell myself. The story to follow is not about good or bad; it's more about a weird, erotic happening.

Mine and my co-owner's business was recycling and salvaging mostly older cars and light trucks. We fell into the business after a series of events, all too fortuitous to ignore; it was meant to be. Carl, the more gregarious partner, was out of town, leaving me in charge. I was an almost silent partner, preferring to work behind the scenes, away from the public. I wasn't looking forward to the next week of work, being better with a wrench set than talking through the deals at the cash register.

Canada had received a wave of Romanian refugees back then, who once assimilated, would need of budget priced cars. Unbeknownst to me, Carl had posted an ad aimed at them, offering us as a good source of used cars. This wasn't the greatest idea, as we had relatively few drivable vehicles, mostly what we stocked were called 'hoopters' at the time. Once I learned of what he had done, I was busy on the phone arranging some trades when I heard a commotion nearby.

I took a few steps outside into the noonday sun, when I stepped into a bucket of bolts by the doorstep. As I persuaded my work-boot out of the rusty rain water, I set eyes on a most welcome sight. There was a shapely young thing bent over, looking into an old t-roof Mustang parked under a shade tree in the corner of the lot.

Her black mini skirt rode up along the backs of her taut naked thighs in the most alluring manner. I caught a glimpse of her stark white panties as she leaned in further. "I love the way her legs make an ass of themselves," I chuckled to myself. She sensed my presence. Sliding out of the car, she turned to greet me.

She appeared to be a Romanian, what a beauty she was at that. The sight of her perky breasts, unhindered by a bra, defied gravity behind a deep v-neck cropped t shirt, exposing her midriff. Along with her embroidered vest, it all combined to form a refreshing, contrasting image among the old wrecks I was used to seeing. It took the wrinkles out of my coveralls and then some; oh boy, was she fine. She started to talk as I noticed her black leather army boots.

"Excoose me, Should of I have knocked?" "You look so sooprised!" I did look out of sorts, I guess, having just gotten my foot out of a slop bucket and all. Her black hair shone in the dappled sunlight as did her piercing brown eyes. Gooch the dog barked wretchedly, slobbering at the downy mare flesh of our visitor through his chain link cage. He made me oddly ashamed of myself.

"No, I'm okay. What can I do you for?" I stammered. She smelled so clean, so fresh, I wished I could bury my face in her hair.

"These car, how mooch would I pay for eet?" she asked, with a coy smile. She was well aware of the universal appeal of her own beauty, judging by the way she stood, hands behind her back, arching her supple form while turning her hips from side to side. I gulped and looked away as a shiver of longing cleaved my fluttering heart beat.

"Well, me and Carl just got that one in. Come into the office and I'll see what I can do to...I mean for you." Oh brother. Couldn't I be cool just once even? She'd lost her smile, eying me with suspicion as she followed six steps behind. She stood in the doorway as I rolled the chair back to sit. The air conditioner fan blew her hair back across her exotic face. I wished I could kiss her.

Oh, damn Carl and his macho proclivities. He just had to go and put up every girly bikini calendar her could find; so much for not being a stereotype wrecking yard office. I disliked the guard dog smell, but not as much as the uncomfortable expression on my lovely visitor's face of late. I turned his mug coffee mug away, to spare her Miss Snap On's huge hooters. She wasn't impressed with all the dog eared, push pin supported busty dame posters adorning the office. I looked up at her. She held her bangled wrist to her mouth and coughed.

"Eets okay, I'm okay," she gestured, dismissing the office surroundings. This girl was cool.

I flashed her my best sheepish smile, relieved by her pragmatic sensibilities. "That machine will run you fifteen hundred dollars," I intoned apologetically. If it was up to me she could have the damn thing for nothing, repaying her for the way she had brightened my day. I wanted her.

"Feef hunder dollars!" she squealed, jumping around the creaky office, breasts jiggling with joy. "I'll take! I buy eet!" My heart sank, my sweaty erection didn't.

"Oh, I'm sorry, that's one five zero zero," I blushed, scribbling the figure on the back of a take out menu. Five hundred would've had us break even.

"Oh," she sighed, hooking her thumbs into her skirt's waistband. She rolled her eyes while pouting in thought. "One thousand? Yes, one thousand. That good?" she offered. I grinned like a goof, picturing us driving away in the car with a 'just married' sign on the back. I nodded in agreement. What a dreamer I was.

"Good, here," she said, stepping forward, fumbling the bills out of her purse. As I made out the receipt, I wondered if I'd ever meet a more exquisite creature in my lifetime. She helped me the best she could with the spelling of her name, I showed her around the Mustang and that was that; another satisfied customer.

Days passed, weeks did too, business as usual, until one day a stern older, but foxy lady stormed into the yard. She was dressed in black from head to toe, in a flowing robe of sorts, with her greying black braids peeking from a knotted scarf. I retreated to my office, she followed. "Um, what can I do you for?" I asked.

"My granddaughter Bertha bought car from you!" she snorted. Upon surveying Carl's wall art, she waved and said some word likely meaning 'pig', maybe. "She says your eyes were all over her! Shame, she only twenty, and you rob her! You cheat! Car kweet, no run, so refund!" she demanded, punching my desk. Even under all her clothes, I could tell she had one heck of a big pair of breasts. She was a sexy mature foreign lady who had me in her unflinching gaze.

"I would if I could, but a deal's a deal. Sorry." I was about to offer a cheap repair, hoping to meet her granddaughter again, when she went ape scat on me.

"Fifteen hoondred! Now!" she shrieked, sweeping all my junk from my desk. She got down on one knee, like she wanted to arm wrestle. I guessed the little minx had ripped her off, telling her I had charged more. Whatever, a deal's a deal.

"No__" I started. Gooch, the guard dog was going crazy out back of the shop.

"Very well then. I see you like the ladies," she growled, gesturing an hour glass shape in the air. I glanced around, shrugging. I was becoming more disenchanted by the second. "You have no woman in your leef, do you?" It was more a stated fact than a question. I shook my head, leaning back in my chair.

"So what you do, milk the tallow from your sad shaft yourself?" she laughed, standing to give me a good look at her acting out a jerking off motion. I stared her down. I wished she'd leave.

She rolled her eyes back and started humming. She stretched her gnarled finger out towards me. I blinked at her, unimpressed. I raised Carl's coffee mug to my lips, taking a sip of Mountain Dew. Ack! She hurled a handful of powder at me. I inhaled a good lot of it, drank some too. "That's it! Get the hell out of my yard!" I coughed. Her eyes were oh so wicked as she backed out into the pale light. She bared her teeth, making a 'tch, 'tch' sound while wagging a finger in warning. "Out!"

I washed the strange remains of her potion out of my mug, trying to forget the events of the day. My face tingling, I turned off the open sign. It started raining, then pouring. Oh great, twenty two miles of mud to deal with. "Fuck it," I said, deciding to spend the night at work. I let Gooch the dog out to cower under the wrecks in the yard before dumping some burritos into the microwave. After supper, I washed my hands, giving myself a stern talking to in the mirror. I concluded telling myself that my life sucks as my hands roamed around for Carl's secret gin bottle. I took a long pull of the stuff and felt better.

The rain let up, being replaced by discouraging winds. The headlights of passing cars played across the grinning big breasted beauties adorning the walls. I felt a distinct rise in my boxers. "Aw, what the heck. It'll help me sleep after the eff'd up day I had." I took another drink and lit a smoke while choosing from the vast array of fantasy ladies before me. I settled on one reminding me of the chick I sold the Mustang to. After a few perfunctory pumps, I changed my mind; as silly as it sounded, I didn't want to cheapen my memory of her.

I kept her in the back of my mind, as I focussed on the vintage styled stockings and garters of a coy redhead above the Coke machine. I pumped at my hard on, delirious with pleasure. As I imagined sinking my tongue into her pink sex lips, my toes curled. I grabbed a paper cup to catch my load, exhaling ragged gasps of frustrated lust. Then, Ouch! Nothing came out. I cried out. Gooch came running to my rescue, bashing into the storm door noisily. My balls ached, intense pressure reeled through my groin, buckling me at the knees, sending my hot contorted face into the soothing coolness of the vending machine. I tipped over and sputtered out a sigh of confusion.

"What the fuck is wrong with me?" I asked. Like a bug rushing up to a windshield, I saw the face of the grandmother. It had to have been her potion. I managed to stand while checking my semi erect cock for leakage. There wasn't any. I went out to urinate in the yard while petting Gooch re-assuredly. That went fine, so why no cum blast? My balls hurt so bad, my eyes watered. I decided to try again in the morning, hoping the spell was temporary. I slept.

I woke up with the usual young man morning erection. After giving it a few test strokes, I thought better of it and left it teetering upright, casting a long shadow in the greasy morning sunlight. I heard car horns honking from the highway's direction. Oh shit. I left the gate open, almost killing Gooch, leaving him to his own judgement, running the asphalt gauntlet up the road. I led him back into his cage, consoling him with a fresh deer leg pulled from the rusty old freezer out back. Along came Bertha.

She was driving the so called 'no running' Mustang. She skidded to a halt along side me where I stood, in a gleeful spray of muddy gravel. "Jeest a loose battery cabeel!" she beamed, waving her hands around her head in exaggerated circles. She pursed her lips and started out of the car towards me. I backed away, trying to remember where Carl kept the sawed off twelve gauge. Fucked if they were going to dose me up again. "No wait! Ese good noose!" she called. "Grandmother told what she did, I feex!" I stopped in mid run.

"What does that mean?" I asked, peering at her. Hateful cold clay oozing oil soaked into my boots.

"You know. Feex...I mean fix! There! I will heal you up!" Bertha looked on with sincerity. She held a bottle towards me while raising an eyebrow. My pulse slowed.

My pulse sped upon my gaze fixing upon her. Bertha looked good, wearing a pair of stockings and heels under a virgin white knitted dress. My mouth watered in remeberence of the vintage pin up from last night. She was real.

"Poor man, let me help." She led me into the office and locked the door behind us.

I sat behind my desk, still on the wary side of trusting her. She sipped at the greenish bottle herself, in a show of trust. She cast an objecting stare at the gin bottle as she dropped it into the trash can. I promised myself to rescue it later for Carl. Bertha hopped up on my desk, crossing her well muscled legs with smooth deliberation. I fought an urge to caress her stockinged thighs.

"Okay, what's the potion there?" I asked, playing along. No way am I touching any of her witch crap.

"Eets good. Eets for you. For your man troubles," she stammered, blushing profusely. Oh hell, she knew the deal.

I took the bottle in my hand, examining it closely. There was a weird little turd-like lump at the bottom. Disgusting, I thought.

My erection reminded me of the high stakes of our game. She smiled with confidence.

"Here," she motioned to her lap, to her clefted area of her sex within. Bertha uncrossed her legs, shakily spreading them wide. My scalp tingled as she bared her pubic mound to my hungry eyes. She dabbed a few drops of the potion on her shiny, emerging clitoris, shivering as she slapped her fingertips against her rearing nub. I tried to be doctor-like in my witnessing of this event, wanting to chase her masturbating fingers with my tongue. I quaked in my work-boots, noticing her fully intact hymen.

"Ooh, feels so good!" she cooed. "Want some on you?"

"Well, okay, I guess." I stood, raising the two way zipper of my filthy coveralls. My man meat stood at full attention under her girlish watchfulness. "Lay it on me."

"You're going to love me forever for this." She administered the strange liquid to my love rod, cradling it in her hand, sending a drop down the slit in my flared glans. She fed me another sizable dab from her pussy flavored fingers. An intense euphoria followed. She sat back to watch. The room spun, the walls melted, the plaid flooring broke into undulating waves beneath my feet. Wow.

"What the?" I gurgled. "What is in that stuff?" She answered with a smile. She booted my chair out of the way and bent over my desk, splaying her buttocks, challenging me.

"I can't. It'll hurt me," I admitted, while pulling at my cock.

"No! No! Trust! You're good to take me. You must."

I obeyed. I pushed my hard bulb against her yielding swells. "Condom now?" "I don't want pregnant!" she insisted, turning to face me. Oh damn.

"No, sorry, no condoms handy." She stared, shaking her head.

"Okee, here then," she said, bending to pop a finger into her tight anus. "No baby that way," she giggled.

I closed the blinds, half worrying about unlikely early morning customers. Either way, here or not, they'd have to wait.

I got down on one knee and eyed her ass bud longingly. The walls continued to stream with hallucinogenic colors.

I sealed my lips around her fleshy wrinkled anus to ply it with my tongue. Gripping the womanly contours of her hips, I plunged my tongue into her tight hole.

"Ohh, You're good! Lick me. Mmm, suck eet!" she purred, arching rearwards, craving more. I felt her shivering, I felt her opening loosen for cock.

"Do eet! Go in!" Her eyes glazed over with drugged lust. She looked over her shoulder, nodding an encouragement.

I rolled my dribbling glans around her tense, rubbery ring, easing it inwards, withdrawing only to ease in further. If I wanted to deflower her pussy, it would have to wait. I slid my throbbing inches into her hot young body, into her freshly licked hole.

Having pulled out, I gathered my cock skin around my glans, persuading its increased thickness into her glistening hole. I grunted obscenely, driving the mass of my veiny organ into her round ass, slamming her fleshy ass cheeks into my bulging thighs. I resolved to play this out as long as possible.

"Good! Oh so good! Fuck me stud man!" she hissed between her panting breaths. Bertha's fingers fairly flew across her wet pink, filling the room with wet shuttling sounds and the scent of her arousal. "Ah!" she moaned, wetting herself with her love spurts.

Clear sex honey streamed down her vibrating thigh flesh. I grabbed handfuls of her stocking-tops and lifted her, tipping her forward to clutch the desk. I lifted her to receive the full brunt of my final thrust, the thrust ending with the first of my hot spurts into her intimacy, into her clenched ass. We remained together as our pulsations coordinated and subsided.

We backed to sit, with her on my lap, with me kissing her ears amid her sweaty black tresses. "That was so good, so good, Bertha." I stopped short of adding, "Marry me." We held hands as she wriggled on my lap, while her anal contractions pushed my spent tool from her, followed by streams of my own love cream.

I woke up alone in the dark. Bertha was gone. Gooch was scratching to be let in. I felt normal again.

In the days to follow, I considered looking for her. I could look her up in the phone book, if she was listed, that is. I went to bed, a week following her anal love making with a raging hard-on. I had neglected to masturbate, deciding to save it for her. I eyed my new box of condoms, recalling what I had lost out on that night. I wanted to try her pussy, more than anyone's I had ever met. I had cock blocked myself with my pessimistic doubts of finding a lover.

Still, we had pleased each other, adapting to the situation. I fantasized about taking her vaginal virginity, praying she'd return to me before allowing some ham fisted pussy hound into her needful depths. I wanted her. I pictured me teasing her, nudging her virginal barrier out of the way. If it took more than one night to ready her, so be it: I would agree fully. I wanted to be hers.

I awoke erect again. This would have to be dealt with. I was sick of waiting. I pumped away at my appreciative hardness with reckless lust. "Ah, to spurt to her memory, it would be the next best thing", I kidded myself. Oh, I was close. I bared my hairy chest in readiness to catch seven days worth of my pent up load. Ouch! Orgasmic pressure surged in me, my balls tensed painfully, having no real orgasm to relieve.

What had they done to me? I crawled to the bathroom to urinate, giving me some relief. My trusty cuckoo clock warned me of the time. Muttering to myself, I got ready for work.

"Well hello." said Bertha, darkening my office door, feet set widely apart as she stood amid black robes, not at all becoming on such a young lady. "How have things been?" She emphasized the word 'things'. I started to my feet, wanting to take her in my arms. She held out her hand, making a halting motion. "Not so fast."

"I can't live without you. I need you," I stated.

"I take it you pulled at your tallow then. Hurts, does it not? She was staring at my crotch. Gooch started barking like he'd lost his marbles. Bertha produced a filigree pendant from between her hot breasts. "Here, sniff," she ordered. I took a few careful steps forward to inhale the odd substance inside it. My cock jolted to attention at my first whiff. "That will fix you for three days." "You can shoot your seed til my return."

"What!" I blurted. "Why are you doing this?"

"You're mine now. I want you. You can't do sex without me." She turned away for the longest while, pulling her robes up over her head. She began to chant, chilling me to stand back, well away from her.

"Oh no," My stomach boiled as I looked at her reflection in a nearby car window. She had become her grandmother. She dropped her hands to her sides and smiled.

Allowing her robes to fall, baring her mature, robust body, she greeted me with a wicked grin. I looked on as she wailed, "Now you poor man, accept your doom!"

"Hey, you're damn sexy. I like older ladies. C'mon inside, I think this'll be great!" I held out my arms triumphantly, craving her embrace.

"What? I am twice your age. You want this?"