Caribbean Taboo

Living in the Caribbean isn't always the paradise to some as it would seem...especially if you're 38 and living with your parents and your kid who is 18, has a love life of his own and you have only a vivid imagination.

See in the eyes of Caribbean parents, you'll always be eight years old as long as you live with them. They love calling you all the time, sometimes just for an echoed voice or to show you something that really you don't give a shit about. However, because it's your parents and its cemented into your existence to love and respect them, you play the role of their over grown child.

So, it is that I'd be doing the only leisure thing I have to do on my own, besides work and study is fuck myself. Usually, I'd wait till they're all asleep at about 1:30 am and behind a locked door, this naked lady finds her nine inch companion, sits in the dark with her iPad hunting down free fuck videos, to find that one porn Clip that would have the most amazing sensation...sometimes it takes well over twenty clips because, some clips lack a chemistry, that makes you want to say, 'yes...yes...please...take all that cock you bitch!'

It's harder to appreciate these things of course because, with everyone else in the house asleep, there is no volume, and it's not likely that I can wear earphones...for as I mentioned in the Caribbean, parents love to call you out and if you don't answer, they may break down your door thinking you committed suicide or something...yes, such shit does happen in this part of the world for example a lot of men commit suicide in Guyana which you could say is part of the Caribbean...

So, basically I'd sit all butterflied and comfy against the wall, watching those videos come to life, proped on one pillow, my left hand's middle three fingers rubbing my clit,and licking it, my right hand swizzling my 'real feel' phallic up my cunt...my cunt in ecstasy creaming and dripping on the bedsheets...and so it goes...but being very careful not to make a sound because the place is so frigging quiet...that even when my Pussy makes those slushy sounds, you know like a Mac and cheese dinner, I cringe in fear that they're onto me fucking myself.

At times, after I cum I feel so guilty, as my behavior would not be considered the norm for most women my age living in their parents' house...most women this age are in good marriages or have 'friends' to fuck with outside from the discomfort of the highly fanatically, rosary chanting Catholic parents.

In the Caribbean a woman like me whose failed at two marriages is called a taboo character and its worst that I got a grown kid. I'm the last person any guy would want to be with, as in this part of the world, these guys live to please their parents not their dicks...and I'm that character that most would point fingers at, so I long accepted I would have to be my own man, buy my own pricks and fuck my own self. I thought of going out to places in this country in search of a new love interest where people don't know me and maybe I'd lie about who I was, but this is an island in the Caribbean and its too small to hide much.

So, in my space I fuck myself till my headaches go, to help de-stress, I fuck myself to remind myself ironically that though I'd like to believe I'm a man, I'm not I have a cunt and though I dislike my pathetic life at least, creating my own orgasms feel way better than any Sunday morning preacher trying to pray for my soul. I mean if God be real he gave me a cunt so then what the fuck must I do with it.

Anyway, back to my situation, so the thing is, this morning I was fucking myself from 5am till 8 am behind that locked door, and trying so hard to be quiet to make everyone think I'm asleep. When I finally cum on myself in great jubilation, done all in mime, careful not to shake bed springs much. My 66 year old parents come at my door knocking...

"Sabrina ...Sabrina..."

"Oh fuck" I tell myself, jumping quickly off the bed, throwing over my head an easy access short sundress, my cum's leaking down my leg, my fingers encrusted with dry cum, I smell of cum, I quickly wipe my legs, my pussy and hands in my blanket and get to the door...all this while they are calling me like if it's a medical emergency...

"Sabrina...Sabrina!..."

"Yeah I'm coming!" I answer...yeah I'm really cumming...

So I open the door, and my mum is there showing me the morning newspaper with some local popular entertainer, a client I have from a simple side business I run. This is really nothing grand, or different, and she is showing me some university for my son to attend which ironically is the same university that I attend presently...in my mind I shake my head, these of course are things they could of shown me at any time later especially after I bask in my juices...

Sometimes, I wonder how they boldly move to open the door if they might get it open one day and see me with a dildo planted halfway up my vagina, an iPad with some serious fucking going on and my hand either in my cat or my mouth...I'd freak out really...

I mean , I guess they believe I'm supposed to be this woman that has realised that she is now past the age to ever get fucked again, except by some hideous old man where the chemistry for me would never be...sometimes, I do wish I was a gold digger, but I never had the need to want money as much as I want sex...but I am supposedly at this point, to lead a type of virgin life. Well the worst of it is, outside this bedroom where I stay, my parents whole house is like a shrine to the blessed virgin...and I'm the naked witch in the room fucking the daylights out of myself. I feel so guilty about satisfying my sexual desire that I go in quiet empty churches asking the unseen for mercy for my fucked up sex drive. Due to the fact that I frequent churches so regular, the people who see me in those churches wonder if I'm some sort of saintly character. My parents like the fact that I seem to go praying in churches regular...It's just so terrible, that I told myself I was the devil and I was sentenced to have a sex hungry vagina and my hell is walking around without any ultimate satisfaction...one day I actually was in tears begging the unseen to please don't make me the next mother Teresa or some Saint because I submit to carnal desire and I find such discipline to be torture.

One night, when I got home from evening classes I was so wet, from just watching some young men that day. I got a thing for younger men in their twenties, especially slim ones with long hair, and the rebel like look ...of course they're all taken and their women guard them for life...but in my mind I sketch instances of having some good rough sex with them and of course that horniness makes me go straight to my room, undress, grab my always firm for me, silicone mate and start viciously stabbing it up my cunt, trying to attain a quickie...and inches before I can even achieve my high, they call...

"Sabrina...Sabrina!..."

Quickly I had to pull back up my clothes, flush the toilet to make it look like I was taking a shit or something, throw my mate in a draw, cover it with more clothes...and wear the mask on my face as if, I'm just tired from school that day...

"yes.." I answer.

My dad calls me into the living room again as if it's another medical emergency. He and my mother now beckons to me to watch a news reporter on the television, and to ask me if I notice that the news reporter has hair dye stained in her scalp roots...in my head I say, 'no way, what the fuck...' My pussy feels like it should of never existed...but this is my parents and I love them.

For this reason I never call on my son if he's in his room behind locked doors. Like my Caribbean parents, I am the concerned type but it matters to me that my kid doesn't feel as contained by rules and regulations. Anyway, my kid is always attached to earphones and hears no one and has learnt the art of taking one hour showers behind closed doors and getting his groove on, and he openly tells his grandparents he loves porn. See it's always different being the grand kid, and if you a guy growing up in the Caribbean, you can do no wrong...a guy can have a marriage and outer affairs and the world around will remain hushed and people will pretend not to see and will forget.

It's not the same for the female gender here, since my second marriage failed I've not had sex or any intimate relation with anyone, and it was that guy who left. Yet, I was blamed for having affairs all over the place with people I never even knew existed, and so many people that were supposed friends were quick to believe anything, my own parents had to witness six months of my sexless life to realize that my second husband was an asshole...but now it's almost three years and I keep wondering if they want me to seriously think of joining a convent.

What I do know is that when they're all not home for a hour, well you'd think I'd just revel in the freedom of the moment, but it's so sad, I've become so paranoid staying quiet, that even alone, watching my porn clips, I'd have it on low volume believing the neighbors( who are fanatically religious too) are hearing what I'm doing, I feel as if people would get the urge to walk in the yard and peep through my window and see me on my bed in my black magic sinning...

Yes, that's another thing Caribbean people do. They get so comfortable in their surroundings the friendly very elderly religious neighbor, loves to come to visit unexpectedly and bring food or produce over, or commonly my parents would say, "Sabrina's homes so you can leave whatever with her", or "Can you just check on Sabrina for us, see that she's ok"...

So, I literally sit on the ground below the window behind the door, hiding in my own room, fucking myself listening with some type of sonic hearing to the low volume setting on the iPad and trying hard to not moan aloud, just like the ladies in those Russian porn clips...

If I go out beyond midnight they will stay up waiting concerned...when I'm leaving school I have to call them, when I get to school I have to call them...I guess it should be no irony that since I was nineteen I eloped from home, and when it didn't work out with my son's father and guess why?

Well we moved in with my parents haha...it barely made three years...I left home with my second husband again at twenty four, was happy alone, just this time it was the fault of the man bitch I was with...now I'm sentenced back here and well I don't have a choice, as it all happened just after I gave up my two other dependent jobs to follow a degree program...my parents are my biggest supporters...now 'for my own good', I'm just stuck in this world where every fucking thing to do with sex is taboo...including me.

See, if you're my age and living with your parents in the Caribbean it's like if you're eight years old all over again.