Chains of Freedom

my life had not been an easy one. now, a mature woman, i found that my heart was once again broken and there seemed no way to repair it. another relationship down the drain, and me left wondering if i was facing a life alone.

i wondered why it seemed as if i could find no one with which to be happy with and my heart ached to find it's mate. someone to complete me as no one had before now. it seemed as if that dream was doomed to be a futile one.

then, He came along. it did not seem like it would go anywhere at first. W/we were friends and nothing more. or so i kept telling myself. He was, at most, a dear friend to me. He was there through the worst of my marriage, and then after it was over. W/we chatted, and He allowed me to cry on His shoulder more than once; it made me feel better, even if it were only His cyber-shoulder that He offered. just knowing that someone was there to listen to me made me feel as if the world was not as dim as i had thought.

this went on for several months, and W/we seemed happy with O/our cyber relationship of brother/sister. a deep friendship begin to grow and happiness peeked into my life once again. still… deep down inside of me, something was growing… something that i refused to admit… something i could not admit even to myself. the situations in His life did not allow me to feel comfortable expressing what i felt inside, and so i hid them. or so i thought.

the feelings, though i would not give voice to them, surfaced time and again as we talked over the internet. i pushed them away. W/we would exchange brotherly kisses and hugs, so i told myself that was all they were. yet, my heart ached for them to be something more. i began to approach Him more and more often for help and 'advice' about things in my life and, if i would have admitted it to myself, i took His advice without question and followed it in total faith knowing it would be correct. slowly, i was depending upon Him though I refused to acknowledge it. At least in my mind, for my heart was beating at the door to tell me how i really felt, even though i refused to open it.

my heart would leap with joy when His name appeared on my screen but i would very rarely be the one to initiate the talk. i couldn't, for it might give hint to both Him and myself just what i was feeling inside.

then, one night, our brotherly/sisterly hugs and kisses went farther. He ran His hands over my body and, somehow, i felt the shivers course down my spine as i sat at the computer, spellbound. it was a long moment before i could type something back. i bit my lip and took a deep breath and my trembling hands typed the words that would launch me into the most beautiful period in my life that i have ever experienced.

on my computer, my own hands and body were encouraging Him as He explored me. Our words met and intertwined as did our mouths and bodies, and our explorations continued. He was strong and loving, and i could barely type for the feelings that ran through me as i read His words, my fingers finding my heated sex, wet with my arousal.

my eyes were glued to the screen and my fingers begin to circle my throbbing clit, faster and faster as His words rang through me. i could not have moved from my seat if i had to. the heat between my legs increased and i took longer and longer to answer as, finally, His descriptions of what He was doing to me pushed me over the edge, and i found myself trembling and moaning as my desire ran across my quickly moving fingers in a wonderful release of liquid. in the end i was breathless and trembling. He asked me if i enjoyed it, and i said yes, not wanting to answer more. For Him, it was enough at least for now.

it progressed from there. sometimes W/we would lapse into passion and sometimes not but never would our relationship be the same. still i would not admit it to Him or to myself. it was not right, i thought, given our situations. besides, nothing would come of it. this i told myself though i never failed to come away from an encounter with Him without wetness covering my thighs and hands.

i failed to notice then how He was slowly taking control of the scenes we played. He never pressed more than i was willing to give, but i found i was slowly giving myself over to His control… His mastery... and my body rejoiced each time. still, i refused to acknowledge it. i could not take that final step in admitting how much i wanted Him, needed Him, how He made me whole in a way i could never hope to express.

the scenes between us blossomed, as did my feelings, for i could not hide them, only deny them. More and more, the physical advanced in our play sessions. One time, in play, He took me over His knee and spanked me. instead of protesting, i could feel the wetness grow even though my fingers were nowhere near my throbbing sex. was i crazy? i actually enjoyed it and somehow He knew. after that, in my teasing of Him there would often be a spanking, or some sort of mastery play, which i would never fail to enjoy. in fact, at times i acted naughty just so He would. i craved for Him to take control and bend me to that strong will of His… still, the words would not come.

many times He would say phrases such as 'you liked that didn't you?' or 'you wanted me to spank you' and i would smile and throw him a flippant remark. But He knew… somehow… He knew.

then, one day, the cyber play became quite physical. i had teased and pushed Him to the limits and He was forceful in taking me that night. throwing me on the bed, He turned me on my knees and entered me. my pussy throbbed as i visualized his cock plunging into me and i gasped at His forcefulness. at my computer, my fingers strummed my clit and plunged into my wetness as i read His actions. i shuddered with the feelings inside. crazy or not, this is what i wanted, this is what i craved. i moaned in pleasure as my sweet honey coated my fingers.

as His cock plunged within me, taking me hard and making me His in ways that i cannot count, He begin to speak to me.

"Tell Me how much you want this," He growled to me as His hand struck my ass.

i shook my head, my desires wrestling with my mind. i would not give into this. this was wrong. Somehow, i could tell that play had turned to real meaning, and that, if i spoke the words, if i gave voice to them in my writing, i would never be able to turn back.

"Tell me what you are. What you want to be to me," He demanded, His thrusts getting harder as His hand painted my ass red.

at my computer i shook my head even as i typed the same action to Him. i would not, could not. how could i give up that part of myself? i would not give Him that satisfaction even as my pussy betrayed me by becoming wetter at the thought. my fingers found my sex and i tried desperately to give into the feelings building inside me, but somehow i could not cum.

"Tell me," He demanded, "You know it is what you want."

"No," i gasped to myself even as i typed it, "No, please…I can't."

"You can, you must," His words came to me, striking me in my heart.

tears stained my face as i felt my heart open and empty at the words. Somehow, they drained me of all resistance; the walls i had built, crumbled. the bitter-sweet truth lay before me and i began to type.

"i am a slave. a whore and i want you to take me and make me yours," i said, knowing i had set myself upon an unfamiliar track. and i came…the orgasm was hard and my body shook as the release of my soul seemed to trigger the release of my pleasure.

on the screen His seed filled me and marked my body as His, even as my words marked My soul as His also. On screen and off, tears coursed down my cheeks as He pulled me up and into His arms and held me, His hardness tight inside of me.

"No," He typed/whispered to me, "You are not a whore or a slave. You are my whore and my slave."

i do not expect many to understand the joy those words brought to me. indeed not many experience the true pleasure of giving yourself so completely to another. until then, i had not understood, but now i knew that until it was experienced there could be no understanding of this bliss.

tears were on my face as i typed my final submission.

"yes, Master."

and here i am now, at my Master's feet. many may ask me why; i cannot give them an explanation. it is something you must experience for yourself… if you are strong enough. i found my true strength that day in giving myself so totally to Him. this feeling is not to be explained, only experienced. may you find the happiness you seek as i have found mine.

*kneeling in submission before Him* i am my Master's humble slave.