Changing Marriage Ch. 04

Alexa's office

Alexa listened carefully to her patient while weighing available mechanism's that might help the woman to cope with the overbearing husband in question. There was little doubt in the therapist's mind that corrective action's existed with the challenge being how to help her patient select the right one to effectively alter her behavior that could then mitigate a better outcome in her domestic life.

Noting that there were but two minutes left before the session ended, Alexa left her patient with a two part question to ponder before next week's appointment, "How important is it to you to stand up to your spouse and are you willing to do whatever it takes to be on equal footing?" The patient's eyes glazed over a bit indicating to Alexa that she was probably not ready for the depth of confrontation that was required but she was encouraged that the patient seemed to be building up the necessary confidence that it may not be too much longer before 'hubby' might just have his empire rocked a bit. She offered encouragement to the patient, correctly citing how far she has come in the past six months. Alexa understood that this level of change was not experienced by a quick fix, rather it was a process that needed continual attention including adjustments to be made along the way.

Seconds after the patient left the room there was a soft rap on the door.

"Yes?" Alexa replied.

The door opened and a young woman with brown hair and glasses dressed in casual business attire spoke,"Dr., our last patient cancelled."

"Hmm. This was a first time patient, right?"

"Correct. He called in just after your last session started. He didn't sound too good citing that he was under the weather. He seemed sincerely sorry."

"OK. Did he reschedule?

"No, said he would call back later. Do you need anything before I go home for the day?"

"I'm all set, Samantha, see you Monday morning."

"Thanks, doctor, have a good weekend." Samantha always made it a point to be nice to her boss.

Alexa looked up and smiled, "You to, Samantha."

Alexa was about to shut off her work pad but out of curiosity she logged into the patient scheduling calendar and brought up the appropriate day and hour. When she saw the name that was highlighted in red, meaning a cancellation, her head cocked a little to the side as if to look even closer at the page to make sure what she was seeing was actually there. Could it be? She clicked on the patient name and brought up the personal data page for confirmation. Then it was true.

An hour later...

When she arrived at the coffee shop Alexa received a text from Tera, 'sorry can't make it today... traveling tonight on work business be back on Sunday.' She messaged her friend back indicating they would reschedule for next week.

Alexa ordered an espresso and biscotti and sat at a high table looking out on the busy boulevard. Enjoying the moment the doctor noted how good and full her life was. A thriving practice of which she loved, a luxury condo located downtown, an active an engaging sex life with no permanent partners, or kids, to compromise her free spirited lifestyle were some of the essential elements that framed her happy life.

Her mind shifted to Tera and her husband, Jim. Being in on the intimate details by way of her conversations with Tera she found herself getting excited at the dynamic that was playing out between them. The dynamic that she, in fact, had been the catalyst of for over two years sometimes in a subtle fashion, other times more overt. The effect on Tera was profound as the dominant woman inside her had been unleashed. Yet, at the same time, she knew the transformation of the couple was not yet complete, really only just beginning, and was now wondering what the appropriate next steps would be to push it forward. Yes, Tera had made great strides, and she was proud of her, but did her friend truly understand the complexity of the male mind? Did she have the expertise to find all the right buttons to push?

She sighed, and began looking at the elements very closely. Halfway through her espresso she got an idea. The effect of this idea and kick from the caffeine was the apparent elixir that put a slightly smug smile on her face. The idea quickly blossomed with additional thoughts and it wasn't but ten more minutes before she went from idea to plan. And the best thing? She could kick it off tomorrow.

She felt the buzz. Yes indeed, her life was good, very good. Could it get better?

The next morning

Jim had been up for a half hour having not slept well the night before, had his breakfast consisting of cereal and banana, and was now drinking his coffee while staring somewhat absently at a two day old newspaper sports page spread out in front of him. His hair was disheveled, he hadn't shaved, but more to the point he was feeling anxious and unsure of his life. The recent bedroom behavior perpetrated by his wife, Tera, left him unsettled. He loved Tera, but now she was becoming another kind of woman that he didn't understand. Worse, he wasn't sure he was up to accompanying her in the direction she was taking things. He felt overwhelmed. And, maybe a bit overmatched. His manliness, in fact, now in question. He didn't bother to admit to himself how turned on he had been instead focusing on his insecurities and how they made him feel. Jim felt the beginning of a headache starting at his temples. He rubbed them in an attempt to make it go away.

Tera was gone for two days and he welcomed the break to try and get a grip on things. Yet, that was the problem, whatever could he do restore the marital equilibrium? It seemed to him that their life was better before, when things were more equal, before Tera had started all the kinky stuff in the bedroom. They were more equal then, and isn't that how things should be in a good marriage? As he pondered the rhetorical question the door bell rang.

At first he wasn't going to answer it just because he didn't really feel like any company and it might just be someone looking for a donation or something because their friends didn't just drop in unannounced. He tried to ignore it and focus on the paper.

When the persistent door bell ringer didn't stop he finally grabbed his robe and went to investigate. Looking through the long rectangular window next to the door he was truly surprised at the guest. Their eyes locked briefly and then Jim looked downward noticing the tight fitting jeans and finally the strappy sandals encasing the woman's feet that revealed a pale red toe nail polish. Jim put on a smile belying the fact that a wave of anxiety surfaced in his gut. He suppressed that feeling and then opened the door.

"Hello, Jim, am I interrupting anything?"

He ran his hand through his hair as if to add some appearance to what he knew was rather a rough look and greeted his guest with the best smile he could muster and said, "Oh, no, I was just finishing breakfast and reading the paper. Um...Tera is out of town until Sunday evening..."feeling awkward he added, "but, um, do you want some coffee? Or something?"

"Are you sure you don't mind, Jim?" queried Alexa, her disarming smile keeping the mood light. "Some tea would be wonderful"

Jim gave a nervous smile, invited her in, and could faintly be heard under his breath to say, "let's see where do keep the tea?" They headed towards the kitchen where he tried a cupboard door that revealed baking goods but no tea.

Alexa wearing a bemused smile informed him, "Jim the tea is on this side of the kitchen" pointing in the opposite direction. She confidently walked to the cupboard door, opened it and picked up a tin with an eastern motif to it, opened it, measured out 2 T., and placed it in the tea steeper next to the stove. She then went to another cupboard, opened it and selected a mug, filled it with filtered water, and set the microwave for two minutes.

Jim watched wondering if he should offer to help her but smartly realized she didn't need any assistance. "Can I make you a cup, Jim?"

"Un, no, I'm all set. Thanks, anyway." Jim picked up a coffee cup that he'd been drinking to give himself something to do while they waited.

Once the tea finished steeping the two headed out to the screened in porch overlooking an empty field. With 5 acres of land the setting was very private and included a view of a pond as well as a tennis court. Once seated they faced each other. Alexa calmly sipping her tea in a delicate English made fine china tea cup and Jim fidgeting with his near empty coffee mug that had a block S on it that was green and white.

"Is this about the appointment, yesterday?" Jim practically blurted it out.

Alexa raised an eyebrow, tilted her face just a bit to the side, and smiled.

Looking down at his shoes he finally forced it out as the feelings had been overwhelming over the past 24 hours, "I know, I know. I'm sorry I shouldn't have cancelled last minute." A bit louder, "Hell, I shouldn't even have made an appointment. I don't know what I was thinking. I wasn't think..."

"Jim, slow down. Take a deep breath."

Jim dropped his head down, shook it to the side, and uttered, "Sorry"

"It's okay, Jim. You don't have to apologize." Pausing while Jim's face of pain showed little relief , she added, "Just write me a check for $120. for the missed appointment."

When Jim looked up in astonishment, Alexa smiled, "Got you didn't, I."

It effectively qualified as the ice breaker as the tension seemed to lift, at least on Jim's end. He couldn't conceal a somewhat pained smile as he stared into the dark brown eyes of Alexa that were now lit up, sparkling with life. Her flush cheeks were brimming with mirth. For the first time this morning he noticed how beautiful she looked. Radiant, actually, he thought. The 5' 10" frame supported by long and fit legs. He could see the well toned muscles as they shaped the jade green tight fitting jeans she was wearing. Her black short sleeve blouse was loose fitting yet it was impossible to hide the well structured upper body of the therapist. The contrast of her white skin on the top gave her a clean, powerful look. Her top button was unfastened, yet did not show cleavage as seemed to be so popular these days, instead his eyes took in the silver pendant containing a green stone that embraced her neck. Alexa wasn't wearing lipstick but her lips were full, natural, and a healthy pinkish red color. The jet black hair, Alexa's natural color, was cut close to her face and short lending her a stunning look that emphasized her professional, yet feminine look. And, the sandals, strappy and made of black leather, encased a pair of shapely feet with high arches that displayed perfectly manicured nails that were polished with a deep red color. Simply impossible to look away. Even with a one second stare he knew it was fringing on gaze status and Jim forced himself to look to the side and then back to Alexa's face. He thought he might be blushing a bit and hoped it wasn't obvious to his wife's friend. He felt he might be perspiring a bit. It seemed hot in the room.

"Look Alexa, I do feel...foolish that I cancelled the appointment but I just wasn't myself earlier in the week."

Alexa's inquiring gaze gave Jim no clue to what she might be thinking. This seemed to unnerve him. "Um, you know, I kind of blew things out of proportion but I think I'm doing better."

"Ah, feeling better, are you?"

"Yeah, I think so."

"Interesting self observation, Jim, because you don't actually resemble a man who is in control of his feelings and emotions. Actually, you look rather unsettled. Rough around the edges is the expression, I think."

"I know but..."

"Jim, let me finish. If some things are bothering you, and I'm going to make a real wild guess here, between you and Tera, maybe your first thought was the right one."

Jim wasn't sure where this was going but he appeared receptive.

"The thought being that a professional may be able to help you sort out the issues. Clear the fog so to speak. It's not such a radical notion, you know? And, why not me? Actually, knowing both you and Tera might give me an edge that will ultimately help you feel better."

"What, that could be a good thing? I was second guessing myself because I picked a person I knew but the more I thought about it, and with you being a friend of Tera's, it seemed like maybe the wrong option, you know?"

Alexa offered the slightest of a head nod. "Strangers are over rated" she joked. Becoming sincere she added, "Jim, would you feel better if you shared a few of your thoughts?"

"You mean here?"

She laughed, "Of course, here. We'll give it...say, 20 minutes, and then just stop. Sort of a test run, you know?" She smiled warmly.

"Uh, yeah, that seems safe enough."

"Good, where would you be most comfortable?"

"Let's stay here in the sun room."

Once seated Alexa noticed that Jim had his arms crossed in front of himself and his knees were practically touching. He smoothed his brown mustache as was his custom when he felt anxious. Alexa, sitting in a matching chair facing Jim, had a pleasant relaxed smile on her face that revealed little other than her absolute comfort and confidence in the situation.

"I don't know where to start, Alexa."

"The beginning?" She smiled.

"Oh, yeah. Of course." He made a sheepish, but in Alexa's eyes, very cute grin.

Alexa certainly could understand the attraction of her friends husband. Six foot one, well proportioned, a very cute butt, brown hair that was styled short and modern, and a boyish smile that did nothing to undercut has masculinity.

"OK, the reason I made the appointment with you has to do with...sex. At least the feelings that I have been experiencing about sex. Nothing like performance anxiety or anything like that but more to do with ...how do I say this...um...it's just that I used to have...we used to have...Tera and I...some things we would do when we made love. Not always the same but ...in a way always the same, I guess."

Alexa nodded as if to say keep going. She had a very warm and disarming smile to her as she listened. Jim noticed that she appeared to be absently playing with the pendant around her neck. He had been watching this for at least a half of minute but to him it felt like mere seconds that he was observing the subtle manipulations of the shiny stone in her long fingers but the psychologist noticed it.

"The things is I, when we do stuff, um...I never know what is going to happen anymore. I mean I'm not a big 'game plan' guy but I used to have a good idea what was going to happen and I always understood what the end would look like. But, this never happens anymore. Everything seems to be...I don't know...determined or maybe predetermined by Tera."

"Ah, and this change in the dynamic has left you feeling uncomfortable, right?"

"Yes, uncomfortable."

"How would you describe the feelings now compared to when you were more in control?"

Jim thought about the word control and how it applied to Tera and his lovemaking. That was it in a nutshell, he no longer had any control to the lovemaking.

"It's weird, Alexa, and I don't want to get into too much detail with Tera's friend here...I'm sure you can understand..."

Alexa smiled allowing her head to go back just a bit sending the message that she knew exactly what Jim was talking about. "Don't worry Jim, you don't have to say anything you are not completely comfortable talking about. I respect your privacy with Tera as well as your privacy in our own conversation about the feelings you have been experiencing of late."

Alexa observed that Jim seemed to relax a bit at this point. He uncrossed his arms and place them at his side. His ankles, previously locked together, had been separated and his knees were no longer side by side.

"Thank you, Alexa, I appreciate that." Pausing, "You really are an easy person to talk to."

"Well, let's just say I have had a lot of practice listening to people who are sorting out all kinds of situations and I can tell you there probably isn't anything I have not heard already." She laughed a bit, "So, please go on and tell me about the nature of the feelings you have been uncomfortable having and we can go from there. How does that sound, Jim?"

Jim let out a big sigh. Maybe it relaxed him enough so that he began to perceive additional details about Alexa. Not the obvious things like her big dark eyes or well sculpted body, but her posture was very erect yet in a comfortable way. She seemed so relaxed as no single part of her was slouching. Feet planted on the wood floor, shoulders square, face perfectly centered, and what a beautiful neck she had with skin creamy white. And the pendant she was wearing it just seemed to tie her all together.

He was enjoying watching her long fingers softly manipulate the bright stone, of which he had no idea of its origin. But the repetitive motion of the slow turning seemed to soothe him. He wondered why he doubted having the conversation as he perceived no threat. On the contrary, he began to perceive Alexa not as Tera's psychologist friend but as a professional person that was on his side, part of his own team. Someone he could trust.

"Jim, your feelings? You were going to talk about them?" She laughed a bit.

Jim snapped back to the present and wondered how long his little reverie had lasted. Not knowing he felt a little embarrassed but when he looked at Alexa and her warm and engaging smile he decided that it was nothing to feel odd about. She was probably used to her own patients who might have to pause before answering tough questions.

"My feelings, that's a tough one. Um, well, lately we have been doing some foreplay stuff that has been initiated by Tera. And, not that I haven't enjoyed some of it, but sometimes I think I feel embarrassed that I am enjoying some of the things we do."

"Explain that."

Well, without getting specific, say Tera does something that excites me. Um, let me rephrase that, some of the things we do make me feel...unmanly, for lack of a better word for it."

"And the reason they make you feel this way is...?"

"I don't know Alexa, I'm not used to the woman taking charge in the bedroom. I'm okay with like a fifty/fifty split but sometimes I almost feel like, and it's weird to say it, but a slave to Tera's needs."

If Alexa had a reaction this she did not show it. Jim looked up to see the same expression void of any surprise or judgment. He added, "Maybe not a slave, that's not the right word, more that I feel controlled. I think that's it."

"So, Jim, you feel controlled. And, that is making you uncomfortable, correct?"

"Yes, that's it."

"And, you said you felt excited, at the same time?"

"Yeah, that's the crazy thing."

"So, feeling controlled also makes you feel excited."

"I never thought about I that way. You mean they are, like, connected in some way?"

Jim's eyes looked up only to once again see Alexa's hand slowly manipulating the pendant around her neck. He was thinking what a beautiful hand she possessed. Long fingers, perfectly trimmed nails that were neither painted or too long, and white skin that contrasted so vividly with the black elements of her top. Instead of wondering why he was so captivated with the pendent and her hand he just gave in to watching the slow administration of her fingers around the stone. Sometimes it was so slow he wasn't sure it was even turning, but he quickly forgot about that, too.

"This is not as rare as you think, Jim. Control and excitement. Being controlled and getting excited. Someone you care about controlling you, thinking for you, orchestrating your next action, allowing you to be free of any preconceived ideas. Control actually equating to freedom. Tera controls you, giving you freedom. It leaves you excited. Wondering what her control might do next. The freedom that comes with doing something of Tera's design without wondering if she will like it. The control assures you your pretty wife will enjoy what comes next. Isn't that right, Jim?"