Charlene Ch. 01

My name is Charlene . My family and friends call me Charlie. I am 25 years old. Today is my birthday. On the day I am writing this I am burying my mother. People have told me that it is tragic to bury my mother on my birthday but that is not the real tragedy. The real tragedy is that she finally fought to free herself from the monster she called husband only to die anyway. I say he got her despite leaving... Cancer was only his weapon.

I am writing this to purge the poison from my mind, my body and my spirit, so that the silence that twisted into the hammer of death against my mother cannot get me too. Then, I am going to forget, I will move on to the peace of my life and live.

I will not fear every dark place. Every man will not be my enemy.

I will be free.

My story starts on this day in 1986. My mother was out shopping for last minute baby things and her water broke.

She was delivered to the hospital by an elderly man and his granddaughter. They happened to be behind her in line and gave her the use of their cell phone to call hospital and husband.

My father was in such a panic to get to her that he couldn't think straight. He ran a stop sign and died two intersections away from his beloved wife and newly born daughter.

I did meet him though. His spirit touched mine on his way out... His kiss marking me forever. Two tiny birth marks side by side. Lips, on my shoulder.

I only have a few photos of my father. Him as a young boy, a teen, a college student. His wedding day and one holding my mother, heavy with child, his arms holding us both.

I look just like him. Thick, heavy, light blond hair. Green eyes. Golden complexion, glowing, flawless skin. I have my mothers build. Tall-5'11, large firm breasts that sit high on my chest. A small waist and rounded hips and bottom. I guess I got it all beauty, symmetry, even perfect white teeth... But not happiness.

When I was four my mother remarried. She was as beautiful as me but dark. Dark hair, eyes. Exotic looking. Her new husband was a lot like my father in looks so no one knew he was not my natural father. He was tall, blond. His build was slighter than my father.

Mom told me that Dad spent every moment he could carve outside but Dave sat at a desk all week and 'puttered around' on weekends. That's not to say we never went to the beach or out camping but Dave wasn't fond of the outdoors so we seldom went even though mother loved it.

Things were relatively peaceful at home for the first few years. Dave tried hard to win me over not really realizing that I am quiet and reserved by nature. This was not aided by the fact that my mother had kept my early years quiet and stable. Few friends, fewer visitors. I developed a very shy streak that Dave took personally.

Our lives were normal even if a bit mundane up until mom got pregnant again. Dave was not overly fond of the idea that he was going to be a father again so late in life. He started to Change. He developed a temper. He was angry and resentful all the time. Things were tense and stressful. Mom was quite frankly so happy to be having another baby that she ignored the warning signs.

Shortly after my 18 birthday my sister Andrea was born. Dave was having a card party. My mother was in the basement working on a craft project.

My new baby sister had woke up and was fussing. I was very fond of her and pleased that she looked just like me. Her eyes were brown like moms but otherwise she was my twin and I was delighted with her. Sometimes I would get up to talk to her when she fussed and she would go back to sleep, Comforted that I was close by, but this time she was not stopping. I went looking for a parent.

When I reached the kitchen it was full of strange men. They were all looking at me. I didn't realize we had company so I was in my baby doll pajamas. I guess Dave could see I was freaked out cause he looked up at me and said 'hey kiddo... Can't sleep'? I shook my head no as I backed out of the room. "Baby is awake and needs one of you." I turned and got out of there. I heard Dave swear and yell real loud for my mother to get the baby.

My mother came running and a big fight ensued. They were yelling at each other so Dave's buddies left. That made Dave real mad. Mom was yelling that she didn't care. I remember thinking as I picked my sister up to comfort her that the two of them were more worried about fighting than the baby. What kind of parenting is that?

The two of them escalated until it was a real fight. That was the first night Dave hit my mother. He was very drunk. Mom cried herself to sleep. She had the baby with her and told Dave to sleep on the couch. I was very worried and couldn't sleep.

Things got worse after that. I spent all the time I could in my room only helping with my chores and the baby. Dave drank daily and mom cried daily. Looking back I think she had post-partum depression but it wasn't as well known then. She pretty well stopped living and just existed. My sister Andrea and I became abnormally close.

With both parents checked out I did a lot of stuff with her. By the time summer hit things were really bad. Mom and Dave had their own rooms and the fights were getting really physical now too. She was very good at hiding the evidence but I saw it anyway.

Once, while she was putting on her make up she pulled me onto her lap and just held me. Her eye was all black and her lip was split. After a few minutes she started to cry. I was really scared. She smiled at me and said she was sorry things were this way. That it wasn't how she imagined our lives. I was very confused by that!

I started to develop a small fear of Dave. I was nervous around him especially when we were alone. I started to notice Dave's eyes following me around whenever I was near him. Once I caught him staring at my butt and adjusting himself.

The next day I asked my mom for a lock for my door. She freaked out with anger and suspicion. But I told her it was just cause I was 18 and wanted privacy. She agreed.

A few times Dave came to the door. He tried the knob and even knocked quietly. I never answered. He started on mom after that. What do I need a lock for? I'm a kid for f***s sakes! What if I have drugs in there? What If I sneak boys in there? Mom never relented. I don't know what I would have done if she had.

I had an uncomfortable feeling around Dave that just increased over time. I would look around and catch him watching me. One night I forgot to lock my door and when I woke up in the night Dave was standing in the doorway just watching me. It creeped me out. I never forgot to lock my door again.

Things went down hill fast after that. By the end of summer I was at my wits end with Dave. I couldn't bring myself to leave because my mom was so depressed and Andy needed me. I was stressed out and anxious all the time.

Whenever he could he would catch me alone. One night Mom knocked on my door. I woke up and let her in forgetting to lock it. She had had a nightmare and wanted to check on me. We talked quietly for awhile and eventually I fell asleep. When Mom went back to bed she left my door open.

At some point Dave came into my room. He was drunk. He sat beside me and woke me up. He had never done that before. He told me to be quiet and not wake anybody up.

Alarms were going off in my head.

Then he started to speak. He was pretty drunk so he didn't make much sense. Basically he was talking about leaving. As he spoke his hand started to travel all over my back and sides, grazing my breast with his thumb occasionally.

I felt penned in and was trying to shrink back away from him. I looked down and his manhood was very hard and the top was sticking out of his pajamas. There was wetness around the top. I bolted to the bathroom and locked the door. I didn't come out till morning.

I avoided him like the plague after that. I was out as much as I could be with Andy. When home we were inseparable.

Twice I was doing yard work and when I was putting the tools away he cornered me in the garage. The first time he just grabbed my arm and held me still while he rubbed my breasts and bum through my clothes. As he pressed his hardness into my bum mom called me to the phone. Dave didn't come out for awhile and he looked angry when he did!

The next time I thought he was out with friends so I was happy and relaxed. He came into the garage and pushed up behind me. I was terrified! He pinned me against the wall and pressed his rock hard erection into my bum. His hand slid right down the front of my pants and into my panties. His finger slid inside me. He was grinding hard into my bum and breathing heavy.

Then a horn honked right outside the garage and his friend yelled for him. He jumped away from me. His eyes looked right into mine as he sucked on the finger he had in me. My eyes were wide with shock as he turned and joined his buddies.

I got a job after that babysitting for a nice couple with two babies. Evenings and weekends. I took Andrea with me as often as possible.

Dave bitched at my mother almost constantly. Why does she need a job? We give her an allowance so she can focus on her studies. Now that school was back in shouldn't She be home studying? These people are taking advantage of her! She's never home. What about college? Mom said she was too tired to fight me on it. Besides couldn't he see how happy I am??

The last time he got me alone was right before Easter weekend. I had just lost my job the week before because the family had moved to New York. It was several states away from me so I couldn't keep babysitting for them anymore. It also meant more time at home.

I was doing laundry. Our laundry room is off the kitchen. The back door opens onto it as well as the basement door and kitchen door. It's a pretty big room and has a full size washer, dryer, freezer and several stand alone cupboards with plenty of open space and walking room.

I was bent over sorting laundry and gathering socks to soak in the washtub when two hands grabbed me by my hips and pulled me back onto an erect hard penis. I screamed. Dave laughed.

My pajama pants and panties were little barrier for his erection. I looked behind me and tried to stand but he forced me to stay bent over. He was talking the whole time about how bad he just wanted a taste. One more taste.

I saw his pajama pants were open at the pee slit and his full manhood was out, even his sac. He was pulling me into his thrusting erection so hard he was lifting me onto my toes. His penis was going inside me even with my clothes on.

I was so frightened I couldn't even cry. I started fighting, kicking, scratching to get away but it was only helping him get deeper. He started laughing again. I froze.

He pulled out of me but my clothes stayed up there. He walked me the short distance to the washer and bent me over it pinning me down by my neck. His other hand rubbed my back and he was using his smooth voice again.

He pulled my pants and underwear down. I felt them pool at my feet. His foot caught them the rest of the way off and he kicked them away. Stepping between my legs he forced them apart exposing me to his eyes. His legs trapped mine against the washer. He was breathing fast.

I tried to think. I watched him lick his lips. His hand rubbed all over my bare bum. He was humming! Tears started to fall silently down my face and my heart was pounding hard. Then SLAP, SLAP, SLAP! He was spanking me! Hard! On my bare bum! Then he started rubbing me again. Slapping hard then rubbing over and over. I was crying hard now.

To my utter shock I started to feel wet down there! Then everything stopped, including my breath as his hand slid down my bum into my body. His finger rubbed all around. Inside, up over, back in. I turned my head and strained to see him. I was begging him to stop. And while I watched, terrified, he brought his finger to his mouth and sucked it. His eyes closed.

His pants were around his ankles and I had no doubt what was going to happen! I felt his erection slip into me just a little. He pulled back out and surged forward again. The head of his manhood just inside me.

I started to fight again but he grabbed my hair and forced my head back. His other hand pinning me down tight against the washer my feet off the floor.

This time anger made him forceful and he thrust harder tearing my hymen. I cried out in pain. His ragged breath on my neck as he bent over me. "I've been waiting for this for a long time" he snarled. The washer banged as he thrust into me harder and harder. I could feel wetness oozing out of me and running down my legs.

I was terrified because after the pain subsided it started to feel good. I could feel the pressure in me building as he hammered in and out of me fast and hard. My breasts bouncing up and down, my breath ragged. Daves hand left my hair and squeezed my breast. Pinching my nipple hard I came convulsing around his hardness. My body milking his penis.

I felt him cum inside me his hot seed splashing my tender womb. I was so ashamed. My body felt alive. I was quivering with aftershocks of my first orgasm. Raped by my step father!

He let go for a fraction of a second to put both hands on my bum and I shoved him over and ran. I got to my room seconds before him and locked him out!

Dave was completely enraged. He was banging and kicking on the door demanding to be let in.

At first I just stood in the middle of my room shaking and crying. But when Dave said he was coming back with a screw driver I lept into action!

I jumped into jeans, a tshirt and hoodie.Threw my personal stuff into two hockey bags, dropped them and then myself, out the window and ran!