Charlie and Layla Pt. 03

Layla finds out how things have changed and she has no idea of what to do. Charlie is about to undergo some life changing experiences and that will mark the beginning of some significant changes in both Charlie and Layla.

Thanks as always to LadyCibelle.

Part Three

Layla

Layla called in the following morning after Charlie came home and took several days off. She had more than enough vacation time accumulated and she wanted nothing to detract from her duties as Charlie's wife. She was slightly disappointed that Charlie had decided to sleep in the spare room last night, but then she thought it was just Charlie being Charlie. She planned on making his night special tonight and she knew he couldn't resist her charms. He, just like every other man, never had been able to do that.

She still had things to do and made an appointment to go to the spa where she was known. She would have a makeover, so that she would look her best for Charlie. She had made up her mind to do something to make her less of a victim. Maybe it would be successful, maybe not, but it was part of her plan. She spent the rest of the day working around the house, cleaning, washing and ironing, and all those things she normally hated. She was after all, a wife and mother first, and an ad executive second.

She fixed a perfect meal for them all then picked up Christine at daycare at the usual time. She took a shower and changed her clothes before Charlie came home. She wanted to look especially nice for him tonight. She owed him more than she could ever repay. He had forgiven her and that was more than she could ever have hoped.

Charlie came home at the usual time, spoke calmly to Layla, kissed Christine and went into the den to put his work away. He came back out, washed his hands and went in to play with his daughter. At dinner, they talked about things as usual, finished and cleaned up. They spent the evening with their daughter and together put her to bed. As Layla watched Charlie, he seemed normal, behaved as always and relaxed. She should have been comforted by that but she was strangely uneasy. He was different and she couldn't identify what it was, but something was there.

After Christine was in bed, Layla fixed them coffee and took it into the family room where Charlie was sitting. He had the TV on and was watching one of the all news channels. Layla sat on the couch next to him, setting the tray of coffee on the coffee table. She leaned back and put her arm around Charlie. She laid her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes. Charlie's response should have been to lay his head against hers and ask about her day. Tonight he did neither. Layla waited but he didn't respond.

She straightened up, poured the coffee to cover her embarrassment and disappointment, handed one to Charlie and took one for herself. Suddenly the warm cup felt good to her hands which had grown cold. She found herself shivering for no reason and feeling as if there were a cold wind blowing into the room. Charlie seemed unaffected and showed no reaction to her pulling away. Layla stared at him, his profile all she could see as he continued to stare at the TV.

As the evening progressed, and Charlie said little except for responses to something she said, she began to understand that what happened yesterday was not what she assumed. Charlie was not back, unchanged and himself. This Charlie was different, more remote, less loving and distant. The cold she felt seemed to radiate from Charlie as he sat there, removed from her. As she considered all that had happened, she suddenly knew that her prayers had been answered but only in part. Charlie was back home but the old Charlie was gone. Maybe forever! She felt the back of her eyes begin to sting with the onset of tears and closed her eyes. Her throat closed, making swallowing difficult, and she wanted to scream to release the fear, but she could do nothing but sit there and let it wash over her.

Charlie

When he made the decision to come home, it was a simple matter of Charlie being Charlie. As always, he looked at his choices and made the one that was best for Charlie Wilson. He was shy, uneasy around other people unless selling auto parts, making a deal to buy or sell auto parts or when he was with Layla. Layla was his crutch in social situations. Before Layla, Charlie had never had a girlfriend. He had dates, but they were always disasters. He became tongue tied, clumsy, a real loser, but with Layla that was all gone. With her, he was easy, well spoken and comfortable. Without her he was reserved, painfully shy and easily embarrassed. Those who knew him made allowances for him and liked the real Charlie in spite of his awkwardness.

In addition, Charlie was well aware of what other men thought when they looked at his wife. When Charlie saw that she disregarded their advances or comments, it made him proud. That someone like Layla would chose him made him more confident in himself. It didn't overcome all of his shyness but it certainly made a big difference. He stood taller with Layla around him. He smiled more, talked more and made friends more with her than without her.

So when Charlie decided to come home, it was for the first reason. Charlie could not stand being by himself again. He couldn't even consider the idea of entering the dating game again. He had friends but they were his and Layla's friends, not his. He knew that without her he would revert to his shy self, staying away from social situations and people of all kinds. He didn't want to go back to that Charlie again. He couldn't stand the thought of that existence. And he loved Christine, without end. To be away from her, even for an evening or two, was painful to him. So, to go back was necessary.

As to the second part, he knew now that his understanding of what Layla thought when other men made their advances was incorrect. She didn't always choose him, and she had sometimes chosen others. While he always felt he satisfied her in the bedroom, that their lovemaking was satisfactory and sufficient for both of them, he allowed as how that was also an assumption that appeared to be wrong. So, on one hand, he needed Layla to avoid an existence that would be devastating, but on the other, he would have to forgo the sexual needs since he was not satisfactorily meeting the needs of his wife, Layla.

Rather than say anything to Layla about his reasons for coming home, he chose to avoid the subject and move into the spare room. It was very small and very close, but it would spare him the embarrassment of failing in the bedroom. When he didn't know he was failing, it had been fine. He felt they both enjoyed their lovemaking, but now that he knew she needed more, it hurt so he chose to avoid it altogether.

Layla was acting as she always did so that made Charlie feel he had done the best thing. She seemed to be happier with him around, something Charlie didn't pretend to understand, but that was fine. They were completely normal around Christine and that was as it should be. The evenings were the worst, when she wanted to continue the pretense that she loved him and wanted him, but he was not able to reciprocate. It was too hard for him.

In this way the first week ended and Charlie had to face a weekend with Layla. He was not looking forward to it but it had to be done. It was best he try to learn how to deal with this since it was going to be this way for a long time.

Layla

Three days after Charlie returned home, she was convinced it was all wrong. Charlie wouldn't touch her! He wouldn't share her bed, he wouldn't snuggle with her in the evenings as he once had, he talked to her only in response to direct questions and he seemed to move away whenever she came close. She was slowly going crazy waiting for him to accept her once more.

As the weekend began, Layla came to a conclusion. She had to tell Charlie everything. What she did and why she did it. She had to make him see that she had never stopped loving him, regardless of what she did. And the others meant nothing to her! Even Jake meant nothing. It had taken that one time to show her that and she knew it almost immediately. She had never fallen again on her own. With Carson Jennings, it was job related, and based solely on her own avarice and selfishness. Charlie had to understand and come to forgive her. She knew that he hadn't done that when he came home so she had to make him see that what she did couldn't be enough to destroy what they shared.

Saturday was one of the longest days she had ever endured. She gave Charlie no indication that she planned to speak to him that evening but she spent the time going over and over in her mind the words she would use. She had to convince him that she was sorry and that she regretted the things she had done. She would be honest with him: tell him exactly what she had done and who she had done it with. Charlie knew neither of the men so that was a plus. He would have nothing to fear from either one.

The day passed, Christine was bathed and put to bed, Charlie was relaxing in the family room with a beer in his hand and the TV remote in the other. She had changed into a light summer dress, one that was low cut in the front and off the shoulders. It fell just above the knee and made her look fabulous. She knew this because Charlie had told her so many times. Taking a deep breath, she walked in and stood directly in front of Charlie.

"Charlie, we have to talk. It's clear to me that although you have come home you haven't forgiven me. You won't touch me, you won't make love with me, you flinch whenever I touch you. I can't stand this Charlie. I love you so much but I can't live this way. I have to tell you what I did so that you can forgive me. You have to let me tell you now Charlie."

She watched as Charlie put down the remote, took a long draught of the beer before setting that down as well. He said nothing for a few seconds, then raising his eyes, he looked at her.

"It's very simple, Layla. I came home because I was afraid to be without you. I don't want to live the way I did before you came into my life, alone with nothing but my work. With you by my side, I was able to make friends, meet other people and put my shyness aside. Before I met you, that was impossible for me. In truth, it was awful before I met you and I don't think I can go back to living that way. I need you and my daughter to make my life complete. I know that is a very selfish reason but it is my reason."

Layla smiled at those words, understanding that Charlie needed her. That was such good news, she tried to interrupt, to make him stop and listen to her but she was not prepared for what came next.

"As to what you said, no, I don't have to listen and I don't want to hear what you did. I know that you chose another man over me and that was your choice. I always believed I was the only one you wanted, but in that, I now see I was wrong. I thought when we were out and other men looked at you and wanted you that all you wanted was me. I was proud of that, and in my pride, I was foolish. Now that I know better, I have to accept that. So, the tradeoff was to come home to live with you and our daughter so that I would never be alone again but to somehow stay blind to what you do with other men. I hate what you did but it was your choice. So you can understand why I don't want to know what you do with those other men."

Layla was so shocked by his words that she was unable to utter a single word in her defense. As she stood there stunned, Charlie rose, walked up the stairs and down the hall to the spare room. She heard the door shut and the small click of the simple lock. She was still sitting there an hour later when she made up her mind. She knew what she had to do.

Charlie

Charlie shut the door behind him and turned the small lock. It was more symbolic than anything else. It wouldn't keep anyone out, but it was a sign that he chose to stay inside alone. He needed to be alone right now to swallow the grief that his confession had raised. He had been so careful not to allow it to surface. He had kept an outwardly calm face for Christine and Layla to see. Charlie, the stalwart one, the solid one, . . .the coward. Other men would call him a wimp and they would be correct.

Now that Layla knew why he was back, Charlie expected things to change. That was a bitter pill that he had to swallow but even that was acceptable. She would do her part to maintain the outward appearance that they were still together, and that he could continue to be a part of their society. Their friends would never know and he could interact with them without fear. But she would know that he knew his place with her: that she was free to do as she chose with her lovers and he would say nothing. Charlie the wimp, the cuckold! But it was better than living in seclusion as he did before Layla. He told himself that again and again and hoped that soon he would come to believe it.

Charlie lay down on the bed, squeezed his eyes closed and willed the tears not to come. He was still a man, even if he was to be humiliated and embarrassed by his wife. He told himself that he would live with it somehow. His brave words to Layla were just that: words that he had to make true. Somehow, some way, he had to make it true.

The Following Week

Sunday passed much as had Saturday and Charlie spent as much time with Christine alone or with Layla present as he could. Charlie didn't want to be alone that day. He was almost manic in his behavior when he was with Christine and only slightly more reserved when Layla joined them. Christine enjoyed the attention and seemed to swell with importance; her small brain didn't understand the tension between her mommy and daddy; she simply knew she had their full attention most of that day.

Evening came and for some reason, she was allowed to stay up much later than usual. Her daddy was keeping her occupied so that her mommy didn't interrupt until finally she got so sleepy she couldn't continue to play. Then, her daddy took her up to bed but stayed to read her a story during which she fell asleep.

Charlie stayed upstairs after he read Christine to sleep. He took his shower, laid out his clothes for the next day and then went into the spare room to read until bedtime. He left the door open, not expecting Layla to come up for an hour or so later. She had stopped asking him to come back to their bedroom so Charlie no longer felt he had to lock the door. He read, the book something he found in the den, but he remembered little of it later. He glanced over at the clock and saw that it was not too early to try to sleep. He turned out the light and covered his eyes with his arm. Sleep came but slowly.

For her part, Layla stayed downstairs as long as she could, knowing that Charlie would not welcome her into his bed this evening any more than he had the previous week. At least this night, she could go to sleep knowing she had a plan. She had a plan to try to save her marriage without Charlie's reservations. His beliefs were based on a lie. One he believed, but a lie nevertheless. She was determined to shatter that lie in the next few days. She would shatter it or she would fail miserably. Either way, she wouldn't hurt any more than she already did.

Monday morning, Charlie was up and gone to work very early. He had been going in earlier than before ever since he moved back home. It was to avoid seeing or having to talk to her, and she understood that, but today, that didn't bother Layla at all. She had things to do and places to go and she needed the time to get Christine ready for daycare without having to explain to Charlie what she was doing.

She drove Christine to daycare, made arrangements to pick her up later, then drove down to her office. Once there, she closed her office door, picked up the phone and called to confirm the appointment she had made with Philip Bassett, the President of the company and her boss's boss. She stated the reason as personal so as to go over the head of her own boss, Angela Statson. She was scheduled with an appointment for ten that morning. She hung up the phone and began arranging her work.

Charlie

While Layla was making her arrangements, Charlie was doing much as he did every day. He was calling customers, making sales, arranging deliveries and earning the salary that paid for the things his family needed. The need to do so was still primary in Charlie's mind; the need to provide for his family even now that it was splintered. That hurt Charlie personally but did not take away his understanding of his role as father. His role as husband was not affected by his wife's actions either. He was well aware that she earned more than he did so his earnings were not necessary for her well-being. Perhaps her higher earnings contributed more to his daughter's welfare but still he would earn his wages and contribute to his family's support.

Those around Charlie couldn't help but notice his behavior. Charlie was always a little reserved, but today and most of the previous week, he had been withdrawn and moody. This was a major change for Charlie so after whispered worried questions between several of those around him, Walt Smith, Charlie's only personal friend decided to find out what was wrong. He waited until almost lunchtime to sit himself down in Charlie's office and wait for him to complete his latest phone call.

"OK Charlie, you and I are going to lunch. We're having a liquid lunch so let's get started."

Charlie wasn't much in the mood for company so he tried to decline the invitation but Walt was not about to let it go. Charlie was a lot of things, but strong in the face of persistent urgings by someone else was not one of them. He was much too polite to continue to refuse so he went. Walt drove them to a small bar and grill he frequented and found a table for them in the back. Once they had ordered their grilled bologna and onion sandwiches with a bottle of Rolling Rock for each, Walt dove right in.

"OK my friend, spill it. What's the problem? Tell me now so I don't have to waste a lot of time nagging you. You know I will, so just get right down to it and let me enjoy my lunch."

Charlie thought about refusing but something inside was begging him to tell someone else so that this heavy burden could be shared. While Charlie thought of himself as weak, sometimes even meek and subservient, in reality he was a very strong individual. Most men with his personality type would have been driven into seclusion by the events in his life, forced to withdraw from reality, but instead Charlie had found a purpose in life and was successful at it. What he was going through would cause many to do something stupid or thoughtless, but Charlie bore it all inside, trying as hard as he knew how to not hurt others. He felt he had succeeded but still, it was a heavy burden to carry alone.

He started to tell Walt the problem and after three more beers and almost two hours of talking, he found himself telling him everything. All his worries, his fears, his beliefs of his wife's actions, his need for her support. Walt heard it all and marveled at the strength his friend showed in what he did to resolve his problems. Walt was truly amazed; knowing that other men would have lost control, filed for divorce, kicked the cheating bitch out to the curb, or any one of a number of other things. Walt himself was one of those, but he also knew Charlie and this solution was so like him. Charlie had weighed the options, chosen the only one that would work for him with his own issues and went back home to live with the woman who had almost destroyed him.

Few would understand Charlie and most would condemn him as a wimp; a weak, pathetic excuse for a man. They would be very wrong and, in their arrogance, would misread a man stronger than they could imagine. Walt was one of those few who understood. That was why he was Charlie's friend and why Charlie trusted him.