Chase & Charli

* * * * * *

I'm glad when the day is finally over. Normally my work fires me up, and I generally enjoy my job. This afternoon I felt so...cloudy. Kind of gloomy as my thoughts revolved around my sister. I haven't thought about her this hard in a long time.

I think my team could tell something was amiss. They're not stupid, unobservant people, after all. Larry even took me aside and asked if I was okay. I brushed it off as being nothing and trudged through the planning stages of our project. Luckily, I work with some good people, and they took up my slack without complaint.

But now I'm done for the day and getting into the elevator to leave. Larry and Gabby are here with me as we ride down, Karen staying behind to "work out a few details". No surprise there. Larry, Gabby, and I chat a bit, and the elevator stops at floor seven to take on more passengers.

As those few people step aboard I notice one of them is Caia, the receptionist from earlier today. She sees me and smiles. She seems hesitant but speaks after a few moments.

"Hi Chase," she greets me almost shyly, shuffling through people to stand closer to me.

"Hello again, Caia," I reply, trying to put on an amiable smile.

I'm mildly surprised she remembers my name. I didn't realize I'd made that big an impression on her. A moment of silence ensues as we wait for the elevator door to close. It does, and we all begin to descend once more.

"Did you ever find that person you were looking for?" Caia asks.

"Uh, no I didn't. No biggie," I shrug.

I'm trying to be nonchalant, but not ever being able to find my lost sister in the last three years has been the biggest non-no-biggie of my life. I try not to allow it to show on my face.

"That's too bad," Caia continues, obviously not wanting our conversation to die. "I wish I could've helped more."

"Yeah, well...I understand. It's not like you could drop everything to help some random guy find some other random person," I say, trying to be friendly. "Like I said it's not a big deal. Just someone I knew years ago."

"Who was she?" Caia asks. "Ex-girlfriend?"

She's being a touch nosy, which makes me a touch uncomfortable. I barely even know this woman or most of the people in the elevator with us. I think she sees the uneasiness on my face, and she quickly backpedals verbally.

"Oh, I'm prying aren't I? I'm sorry I do that sometimes. Never mind. Forget I said anything."

"It's okay. Don't sweat it," I tell her with another smile, trying to be a nice guy. "Like I said, she's just someone I knew years ago. A good friend I lost touch with. I thought I saw her in the building is all, but it turned out to be a case of mistaken identity."

"Oh," Caia nods slowly before radically changing the subject. "I...umm...some friends and I are going out for a couple drinks. Would you...like to come with us?"

Caia looks to me with a hopeful expression after her very hesitant invitation.

Wow. It takes some serious chutzpah to ask a guy out while in a crowded box full of strangers knowing full well he might reject you. I have to respect Caia a little for her bravery, and I feel terrible that I'm going to have to tell her no. I was already going over to Larry's for the evening.

"I'm sorry, but I already have dinner pla...ow!"

I look over at Larry, who had just smacked me upside the back of my head.

"The hell, dude?" I blurt, unheeding of the strangers in the elevator.

"Don't 'the hell dude' me, Chase," Larry looks at me reproachfully. "A pretty girl asks you out and you turn her down? I'm sure my wife won't mind if my man-date starts a few hours later."

Gabby, along with a few people I don't know, guffaw at this. Caia shows an irrepressible grin. I stand there speechless.

Larry turns to the young lady in question and informs her, "Chase would be happy to accompany you for drinks, miss."

"Okay then," I give a lopsided grin as I turn to Caia. "I guess the first part of my evening's schedule just cleared up. Can you pencil me in?"

Caia's grin widens even more, flashing some of the whitest teeth I've ever seen.

* * * * * *

I thought maybe, just maybe, after all this time I'd be able to set aside the memory of my sister and give myself over to someone new.

I should have known better.

Caia and I date for a couple months, but it's shades of Mandy all over again. I'm unable to let Caia fully into my heart, a big piece of it still belonging to Charli. I'm afraid it always will. Even after my first dazzling night of sex with Caia, I still find myself watching the video of my sister later on when I'm alone.

I'm beginning to think maybe I'm just broken.

Is it completely fucked-up that I feel I'm somehow cheating on Charli's memory by being with Caia? She's my sister for Christ's sake, a sister I haven't seen in over three years now. A sister I may never see again. I foolishly believed what I feel for Charli, how I desire every night to fall asleep with her in my arms, would have waned by now.

If anything that subconscious demand has only gotten stronger, and being with a woman again has rekindled it.

And now...I've been stringing along poor Caia, allowing her to think things are going great between us when they're not. At least not on my end. It's like I'm just going through the whole boyfriend/girlfriend motions because it's what my parents, my friends, and society in general expects of me.

God I'm such a jackass. A broken jackass.

In the end I let Caia down as gently as I possibly can. I'm able to tell she's utterly devastated when I break up with her, the poor girl not understanding what went wrong. I try to explain that it's me and not her, but I think that whole spiel only makes things worse. Unlike Mandy, this breakup doesn't end so amicably. There's a lot of anger on Caia's part, which I can totally get.

The whole situation makes me really glad I've never gotten together with Karen or Gabrielle. That would have been disastrous. Not to mention completely against company policy. Fraternizing between supervisors and subordinates is expressly forbidden. It still happens, and people have been fired over it. A piece of tail isn't worth losing my job over.

Luckily, Caia has enough integrity not to start shit at work over our relationship's sour end. Not that us dating should have any repercussions on my employment, but if she decided to raise a stink with HR, maybe tell a few lies, it could have seriously jeopardized my career. I've seen that happen too.

Life goes on, though. Another month passes, during which I'm glad I don't actually work closely with the legal department. How awkward would that be to see Caia every day? We still bump into each other occasionally at work, but we don't speak much at all beyond the requisite pleasantries courteous adults show one another.

All in all, an abysmal end to my latest failed foray into love.

CHAPTER 3: Sister's Song

On a particular Friday, Larry asks if I'll "babysit" Shawn so he and Lindsay can have a date night. It's become something of a routine between us, and I'm more than happy to oblige. Even though he's only ten, I swear the boy is mature enough and responsible enough to be left alone for a few hours, but by watching their son at my place my best friend and his wife get the house all to themselves. Shawn is a great kid though, and I don't mind letting him hang at my house. It's actually pretty awesome to vicariously relive my childhood with him on the occasion I do this favor for Larry and Lindsay.

I pick up Shawn around six. He has his game console, a few games in hand, and a backpack with pajamas and other odds and ends. I drive him to my place so he can spend the night. As far as the youngster is concerned he gets to have a sleep-over with his "cool" uncle Chase, while Larry and Lindsay get to have a much needed, romantic night alone together.

Wink, wink, nudge, nudge. My friend and his wife are still young enough to appreciate having their entire home as a playground.

Anyway, Shawn and I are seated on my couch and playing the game I'd bought him for his birthday. The boy is thoroughly kicking my ass. In my defense I was never a big video gamer, so I never developed those "gamer reflexes" that my young opponent already possesses. Shawn has also had several months practice with the game, and I've only played it a handful of times.

It's okay, though. It's all in good fun, and I don't mind the righteous stomping he gives me. Every once in a while I surprise him and pull a fancy but totally accidental move that throws him for a loop. We giggle and laugh and have a good time. I let him have ice cream for dinner.

I know...I'm horrible, but I figure it's my prerogative to spoil the boy if only a little. I have no idea if I'll ever get to be a real uncle, and with all of Larry and Lindsay's family living far away...well, I'd like to think I make a good surrogate uncle. I've sort of come to see Larry as a big brother. I swear I'd do almost anything for him and his family. I don't think I'd be nearly as happy as I am if Larry had never befriended me.

"Can I have another soda?" Shawn asks as our gaming round concludes.

I check the time, see it's about 10:30, and have to let him down as I say, "Sorry bud, but you've got bed in half an hour. You'll never get to sleep if you drink one now."

I might spoil him, but I can be the adult when I have to.

"Aw," he mildly protests but realizes I'm right. "Okay."

And just like that, that's the end of it. Like I said Shawn is a good kid. He's smart like his dad and sensitive and creative like his mom, and both Larry and Lindsay are raising him well.

I ruffle Shawn's hair and promise, "You can have one with breakfast tomorrow. How's that sound?"

"Sweet!" he grins, staring another round.

As we wait for the game console to load the battlefield, my doorbell rings.

Odd.

I'm not expecting anyone at this hour.

"Don't you begin without me," I tell Shawn as I rise from the couch. "You beat me bad enough without getting any head starts."

He giggles and nods in assent, saying, "I know. I'm no cheater."

"I'll be right back."

I walk around the small, half-wall divider between my living room and the entryway to answer my door. When I open it up my jaw drops like it's hinges are busted.

The person standing there is none other than Charli.

"Oh my god," I whisper in this tiny little croak of joy as tears well up in my eyes.

I practically lunge forward to grab my long lost sister in a fierce hug. My heart sings with a crazy-rapid beat as it rejoices at the feel of how real she is. She returns my embrace and lays her head against my chest.

"Oh my god," I cry, the tears now rolling down my face and my voice cracking.

I kiss her long, brown hair and hold her tight, afraid that if I let go she'll prove to simply be a phantom of my imagination and evaporate like morning mist. I drown my senses in my sister, feeling her body against me, smelling the soft, fragrant scent of her hair, and listening to the quiet sounds of her breathing.

"Hi, baby brother," Charli whispers to me softly, almost imperceptibly.

What I felt deep down all these years was right...Charli is alive and so warm in my arms and I can't believe she's right here! Many times I've wondered what I'd say in this moment, thinking of the all things I'd tell my sister if ever I found her. Right now, though...I'm too choked up with overpowering emotions to utter anything beyond "oh my god" over and over.

My thoughts are scatterbrained, and nothing else in the world matters as I stand on my front porch never wanting to let go of my Charli. The crushing burden of not knowing her fate lifts and sails away on the winds of my sudden euphoria.

We're standing there long enough that Shawn gets curious, walks over to the entryway, and asks, "Uncle Chase? Is this your girlfriend?"

Charli laughs lightly, and I release our embrace just enough to turn and look over my shoulder to Shawn.

"No, Shawn. This is..."

Charli places her fingers against my lips to silence me.

My sister leans over to gaze with an intrigued look at my young guest, saying to him, "My name is Jessi Wrenn, and I'm an old friend of your uncle's."

I reluctantly let go so my sister can properly address the young boy. I look at her with a thoroughly baffled expression when she announces her "name", and I quickly wipe the tears of happiness from my face.

"Why are you crying?" Shawn asks me, but my sister answers.

She smiles and explains, "Your uncle is just really happy to see me. Sometimes adults cry when they're happy. Silly, huh?"

"Yeah," Shawn grins. "I only cried once, and it was 'cause I fell down and hurt my knee real bad. Why would someone cry when they're happy?"

My sister tells him, "You'll understand when you get older."

"Mom always says that," Shawn replies. "I think I get it. If there's too much in your heart it ends up in your eyes, right?"

She seems surprised at his response, but I'm not. Like I said...Shawn might be young, but he's intelligent and sensitive. I think he'll make some lucky woman a fine husband one day.

"Yeah, that's pretty much right," my sister smiles.

"So, we gonna invite her in or what?" Shawn asks, poking me once in the ribs to get my attention.

"Oh, yeah," I shake my head. "Yeah, please come in Ch...uh...Jessi."

I almost say her real name but catch myself. I'll go along with whatever masquerade she's playing at...for now.

"Thanks," she smiles from below her sparkling blue eyes.

I can't help but stare in speechless wonder as I follow my sister and my young charge back inside, shutting the front door behind me. It's so weird how she's just waltzing right back into my life with a new look and a new name to boot. I realize my sister will have changed somewhat over three plus years, but beyond the obvious I sense there's other, subtle changes below the surface.

Not to mention...I think about it and start to wonder if I really did see Charli that day at work. My sister isn't wearing the brown women's business suit I saw then, but as I imagine it over the black yoga pants and white t-shirt she has on I can definitely picture that being her. The more I ponder it the more I'm certain I did see her that day.

"Hey, you ever play this game?" Shawn asks, pointing to my TV.

"Yeah, I have," Charli (Jessi?) answers. "Can I play it with you?"

She looks over to me, then down to Shawn.

"Yeah, yeah!" the youngster enthuses, grabbing my sister's hand and dragging her over to the couch. "It's okay, right uncle?"

"Of course, go ahead," I chuckle a bit at his youthful exuberance.

They take a seat in front of the TV while I sit in the nearby chair. I only watch their game halfheartedly, my attention mainly riveted on my sister. I'm still coming to grips with the fact that here she is sitting in my living room and playing a video game with my best friend's son.

I'm relatively silent as the two of them battle each other in the player versus player mode, and I note that Charli wasn't lying when she said she's played this game before. She's way better at it than I am, but it seems to me she's holding back a bit to allow Shawn to win their match.

It brings a smile to my face to see how natural my sister is with Shawn, at how easily she interacts with the young boy. As the pair play a few rounds they joke around, spouting silly, harmless trash-talk. I can tell he's also taking to her quite quickly. I never would have guessed Charli had such a way with kids.

I'm so enraptured at the sight of my sister that I almost miss the fact that it's Shawn's bedtime.

"Last match, buddy," I inform him. "It's time to hit the sack."

"Aw, just one more after this, pleeeease?" he tries his luck.

I laugh and ask, "You know that only works on your mom, right?"

"I know," Shawn giggles.

He and my sister finish their virtual bout, and afterward, as he's putting everything away, he tells Charli, "You're pretty good."

"Thanks, kiddo," she grins. "You're not bad yourself."

Shawn finishes tucking away the controllers and walks over to give me a quick hug.

"Love you, uncle Chase. Goodnight."

"Love you too. Don't forget to brush your teeth," I remind him.

"Yup," he nods. "For two minutes."

"Right," I nod. "And don't forget to floss."

My sister holds out a hand and says, "It was nice meeting you, Shawn. I had a lot of fun."

Shawn shakes her hand briefly and replies, "Me too. Thanks for playing with me, Jessi!"

"Goodnight," my sister smiles.

"See you later," Shawn tells her before heading off to the bathroom.

Though Charli and I are more or less alone now, I have to resist the urge to dive right into the bazillions of questions I have for her. It'll be a while before Shawn is completely "lights out". Not that I think he'd eavesdrop, but I'd rather he was in bed before my sister and I have an earnest chat.

Instead of questions I offer, "Can I get you anything? Coffee? Beer? Something to eat?"

"A beer sounds freakin' awesome," she grins at me.

That cute smirk of hers hasn't changed one iota in the last few years. It's only a small sign, but it hints to me that despite anything else that may have changed about my sister she's fundamentally the same good person I knew before.

I retrieve two beers from the fridge, pop their caps, and hand one to Charli as I sit down next to her. I catch a whiff of her scent again and inhale slowly and deeply of that wonderful, fragrant aroma. She takes a long swig of her beer before gazing around the inside of my living room a bit.

"Nice house," she observes casually then turns to me. "You look well, Chase."

"Thanks. You too," I reply simply. I'm not sure what else to say for the moment and content myself with simply gazing at my sister in wonder.

"Shawn seems like a good kid," Charli comments to fill the silence.

"He is," I confirm.

Speak of the devil, Shawn leaves the bathroom a bit quicker than he should, so I call out, "That wasn't two minutes."

"Uh-huh," he claims. "I counted."

"I think you count fast," I chuckle. "Come here. Lemme see."

Shawn skips over and gives me a sort of grimace to show me his teeth. They look clean enough.

"Okay," I tell him, ruffling his hair. "Off to bed. Sleep tight."

"Nighty night," he returns before heading to my guest room.

We hear the door open and close lightly, and Charli turns to say, "You're really good with him."

I shrug and explain, "He makes it easy. He's really great."

"Still, I think you'll make a wonderful father some day."

"Thanks," I smile at the compliment.

My sister seems to muse over something before she speaks again. "No wedding ring or ring marks on your finger, and judging by Shawn's first question to me I'm guessing you're single. How is it he calls you 'uncle'?"

"The title's honorary. Shawn is my best friend Larry's son."

"I take it you and Larry are pretty close?"

"Yeah," I nod slowly. "I guess you could say we're as close to being brothers as possible without actually being related."

"That's really great, Chase. I'm glad you have people in your life who care about you," she tells me.

Silence ensues as we both take a drink.

"Oh come on," my sister finally blurts out. "I can tell by that look you're itching to ask me all kinds of questions. Go ahead...ask me anything and I'll answer. I owe you that much, at least."

That's the understatement of the century. I turn on the TV and set the volume so it'll obfuscate our conversion from Shawn without being so loud as to disturb his sleep. Once again, not that I think he'd eavesdrop but better safe than sorry.

"Charli," I begin, but my sister interrupts.

"It's Jessi now," she maintains. "The name isn't a fake. I really am Jessi Wrenn, legally and forever, and I mean really. I didn't just change my name. I created a whole new identity."