Choices and Sacrifices Ch. 06

CH 6

*

"Hello?" So far so good. The answer was secure and stern, the way she'd intended it to be. Sabrina twiddled with a loose strand of fabric hanging from the corner of her comforter between her folded legs. A thick clump of her matted hair fell in her eye, but she made no attempt to move it.

"Sabrina, it's me." Somehow hearing her full name paired with her mother's voice still made her cringe. She chopped the syllables so much that it almost added a sharp ring to the sound.

"I know ma." She said simply.

"So, how are you?" Sabrina almost scoffed. Was she really trying to make small talk as if Sabrina didn't know why she was really calling?

Not wanting to disrespect her, she responded, "I'm alright. I didn't work today so I've been cleaning up the apartment." And that was true. To take her mind off of her thoughts, she decided to do some serious scrubbing as well as the laundry.

"That's good... Is um... What's his name—I forgot already."

"Keegan." Sabrina said dully.

"Yes, Is Keegan working today?" How clever. Erica was slyly trying to ask if Keegan was employed and what he did.

"Yeah, he's at work now." Sabrina admitted.

"And what does he do, might I ask?" Sabrina momentarily shut her eyes. The formal antics were definitely getting on her nerves ridiculously fast.

"He's a writer and he works part-time at the library in town." Sabrina could feel her mother's shock.

"Part-time?"

"He's just working there until he publishes his novel." Sabrina really wasn't putting too much effort into showing emotion when she responded. She was just trying to speed this phone call up as much as she could by giving straight forward answers.

"Mhm..." She said. A deep sigh over the receiver signaled the change in conversation Sabrina was waiting for. "So Bean, what do you think that man wants with you?"

"What?" Sabrina spat, not believing what her mother was getting at with her question.

"Obviously you don't think he will start alifewith you?"

"Why won't he?" She was beginning to react, which was something she didn't want to do. The fluctuations in her tone signified her mother's effect on her.

She laughed.

"Men like that don't want to marry you. He will get what he wants, if you haven't given it to him already," She held a voice of loathing toward the end of her last phrase, "and then go back to what he knows—what's accepted by his mother."

"You have no idea what Keegan will do because you didn't take the time to get to know him."

"Please, Sabrina. Grow up. I bet you have no idea who his mother is or anything about his life before you besides a few little details." Sabrina was silent on the other end, just breathing steadily as her words processed.

"A naive little black girl," Her mother cooed while laughing cruelly in her ear. "perfect one to scratch off his bucket list." Erica did a tiny reflective noise. "Then he can tell all his friends and they'll cheer for him and make him feel like a king for getting you in bed."

"He will leave you high and dry—mark my words." The line ended loudly in her ear with a click.

Sabrina really didn't know much about Keegan's mother now that she thought it over. She just knew about the larger pieces of his childhood, but nothing about the specifics. They were entering their 5th month of exclusive dating; he couldn't hide her for much longer without it becoming suspicious.

Maybe that was why he'd been so secretive when his mom called—to avoid having to explain the girlish voice in the background. Sabrina sank deeper into her mattress as more stress and confusion poised itself onto her lap.

*

Sabrina struggled to open the door to her apartment. Venice was settled in her hold with a sheet covering her body.

One thing about having a dog in an apartment complex that specified no pets in its contract, was that the dog still needed to be walked. Venice usually used pee-wee pads located in the laundry room but Sabrina still tried to walk her as much as she could. After the tense, mind rattling conversation with her mother, Sabrina figured it would do them both some good to get fresh air. So she cloaked Venice in her arms and loaded her into her car as fast as she could. They usually walked in the town home neighborhood located 2 minutes away from her apartment center. But when Sabrina was in the mood for something more extreme, she'd travel over to the park where she met Keegan.

Keegan was putting away some groceries in the kitchen. He barely acknowledged Sabrina's presence, but she was much too out of it to realize his attitude. She put Venice on the ground and kicked off her sneakers. She wore a pair of leggings with a baggy t-shirt and put her hair into a ponytail over her crown.

She made her way into the kitchen to feed Venice. The dog followed her eagerly, knowing it was her favorite time of the day. Keegan glanced behind himself to see Sabrina bending over, putting food into a bowl.

"How was the call?" Keegan grumbled behind her, seeming uninterested and distracted.

Sabrina didn't want Keegan to know all of the hurtful things her mother had said. Not because she was worried about how he'd feel, but because she didn't want him to change his game plan incase her mother was right. She'd judge him herself.

"It went better than I thought it would but not by much." Keegan didn't say much for the rest of the evening. Like Sabrina, his mother was consuming most of his thoughts as well. But unfortunately, he couldn't share that conversation with Sabrina. So he just retired to his laptop and continued writing as much as he could before he joined a sleeping Sabrina in bed.

A few days later, Quincy successfully purchased his modern single family home. Keegan was happy for his best friend despite their lack of communication over the past few months. He agreed to help him pack up and move his few boxes of things. So he'd taken the day off to settle Quincy in.

"I know your mom is excited." Keegan shouted from the living room. He attempted to unroll a thick line of scotch tape but the ends began to fold onto one another. Within a few frustrating seconds, the tape morphed into a useless ball. He groaned lowly.

"Yeah, she already started planning her trip over." Quincy replied from the bedroom. Over the months that Keegan had been practically living with Sabrina, Quincy managed to really get the apartment looking like... an apartment. He purchased a quaint black leather couch with a matching armchair, dining room set and a bed with a headboard. They managed to get most of the larger pieces of furniture into the truck so now there were only accents left. Quincy emerged from the bedroom.

Accountant's anxiety had done him well physically. His boyish face was wrinkled with the classic touch of masculinity. He'd been taking trips to the gym so his lanky body was toned and lightly chiseled. He wore simple cargo shorts, a tank top and converse. His deep toffee colored skin was accented by the curtain-less window's light.

"I ran out of boxes so I'm going to go get a few more. Be right back." He snatched his car keys off of the counter and exited the apartment. Keegan attempted to tape up the box a second time. He successfully taped it's opening and had moved onto another. He used bubble wrap to cloak Quincy's expensive dishes before putting them into boxes he'd labeled 'delicates'. Just when Keegan was about to put in a tall drinking glass, there was a tap on the door.

He gave the door a funny look before strolling over to open it. When he needed to cast his eyes downward to meet eyes with who was there, his heart skipped a few beats. The visitor stormed past Keegan with a suitcase and purpose in their steps.

Bethany shifted on her feet before she flipped her hair over her bare shoulder.

"What thefuck,are you doing here?" Keegan gritted out. She inhaled deeply, making the bones in her collar protrude sickeningly beneath her yellow tinted skin. She wore a white halter top that tied behind her neck. Her thick brown hair was thinner than he last remembered and sat dully on her shoulders. But her eyes were still intense.

"I'm here to visit you and see if we can work this out." She said simply. Keegan was unconsciously shaking his head as her sentence progressed further.

"You aren't staying here, and we aren't working anything out. So you need to go home." Keegan was trying his hardest to be calm yet authoritative to show Bethany he was serious. She nervously switched her few pounds from foot to foot.

"Then you are going to do it now Keegan!—You're going to break up with me, right now and you're going to tell me why!" Her voice was advanced toward a screeching cry as her eyes welled with tears. Keegan nodded his head in compliance. "I've been nothing but good to you and I refuse to just give you up."

"Bethany, listen to me." Keegan's voice was chillingly cold in comparison to hers. She swallowed the lump in her throat in preparation for his words. "I'm no longer interested in you. Nothing will ever happen between you and me. Ido notlove you. Iwill neverlove you again." Her bottom lip trembled uncontrollably.

He groaned as he thought of what her visit would do to his plans. He'd have to call off his walk with Sabina at the park so he could figure out what the hell he was going to do with Bethany. He couldn't let her stay in the apartment alone, that'd be incredibly cruel. But looking at the size of her suitcase, she'd be staying for a few days. He couldn't avoid Sabrina for that long after being with her every second; she was nowhere near stupid.

"How'd you get this address anyway?" Keegan asked, his agitation with her clear.

"Your mother gave it to me awhile ago." Her voice was emotionless and her face followed suit. She stared blankly at the wall beside her while Keegan lightly paced the room.

"Do you have money for a hotel?" He asked, doubting she did.

"No." She whispered quietly. Keegan certainly didn't either.

"When's your flight home?" He asked it immediately after her response.

"Thursday." That was three days away. Keegan sighed deeply before heading back into the kitchen to finish packing. Every time his hand touched a delicate piece of glass, he had the biggest urge to slam it against the wall across the room.

It felt like two parts of him were meshing together and he was standing in the center trying to push them further apart but only successfully getting himself squished in between. One of the parts was perfect and important, but the other was an evil burden that had awoken from dormancy and walked straight through his apartment door. Now the two pieces were only a few miles apart instead of the few hundred that Keegan had grown content with.

"I'm going to take a shower." Keegan hardly acknowledged her. He just continued angrily wrapping the eating tools and packing them away. About 20 minutes passed when his cell phone beeped a signal that told him he only had 5% left. The sound reminded him that he needed to tell Sabrinasomething. She was expecting him at the park within 3 hours to go walking and be home right after for dinner. He strolled over to the counter to retrieve his phone.

He opened his messages and stared at the blank text box for about 15 minutes, trying to put some careful thought into his lie. If he said anything the slightest bit suspicious and unbelievable, she'd be standing at the door when he came home. Her arms would be crossed and she'd be eyeing him through low lids.

Cnt wlk tday, packng n movng takng lngr than expctd. Love u

As he sent the text, he made his way toward the bathroom door. He guessed Bethany might've been hungry after traveling through lunch and into late afternoon. He would just order a pizza for her if she wanted.

"Bethany," He called. She didn't answer so he tapped on the door. It wasn't quite closed all the way so it creaked open just a little. Keegan tried not to pry inside, but he couldn't help himself; a vivid red color was as bright as the sun against the white of the bathroom tile. Keegan threw the door open to reveal Bethany lying limp and lifeless on the floor.

"Bethany," Keegan called quietly.

Her arm was upturned and long slits bled furiously against her wrist, creating a puddle below. Her hair was scattered behind her head and she was drifting in and out of consciousness. Keegan immediately stripped himself of his shirt and tied it tightly against her cuts. A bottle of pills sat in her other hand.

He searched for his cell phone and discovered it had fallen right into the pond of blood. He picked it up and was mortified to find it completely dead. The last text massage to Sabrina had drained it completely. Without wasting another second, he scooped Bethany up into his arms and successfully carried her to his car. He looked onto her eyes as he practically ran down the walkway of the apartment building.

Her body was as light as air paired with his rush of adrenaline. His heart was shuddering uncontrollably in his ears and it was the only distinguishable sound he could make out. Bethany's arms were limp with exhaustion as her wrists soaked his shirt. He could feel her body cooling onto his chest, or maybe it was that his chest was sweating profusely.

Her eyes were fully shut and her breathing was shallow.

Thiswas the cloud he'd seen and felt cloaking his crown since the night he'd called Bethany to end their relationship. Over 3 months had passed before it finally showed it's true intentions, but he'd anticipated them.Thiswould be the thing to change his way of living and jeopardize his true happiness. The Florida shackles had never left his fragile ankles, and their owners had never been his father. They belonged to Bethany. He thought he'd left them back home, in his childhood town, but they were still a prominent part of his life and his relationship. A relationship that was slowly slipping into the depths of nonexistence as the seconds passed.

The apartment complex was only a few minutes from a hospital, and with Keegan's driving, they'd be there sooner than expected. He loaded her into the back seat and sprinted to the driver's side. Not even bothering to put his seatbelt on, he threw the car into reverse and screeched down the street.

He glanced into the rearview mirror to see her out cold along the cushioned seat. Her lips were parted widely and he couldn't see her chest rising or settling.

Keegan spoke to her, trying to keep her awake incase he wasn't too late.

"Stay with me baby. I'm right here—you're going to be okay. I'm not going anywhere."

***

Ok, call me l8tr... I love u so much, miss u