Choices and Sacrifices Ch. 12

*

"Good morning," Sabrina called to everyone in the office. She was in high spirits this morning but she had no idea why. She wouldn't question it though; it was a welcomed rarity. She woke up well rested, took a refreshing shower with a great smelling new gel and discovered her twists were completely dry. Those explanations were enough to justify her mood. She left the house early and went to get everyone a 24 ounce coffee.

"Good morning beautiful," Rochelle greeted with her eyes fixated on the computer in front of her. Sabrina sat the tray of coffee on the receptionist's counter and Rochelle's attention was caught. "Feeling good this mornin'?" She inquired cautiously.

"Yeah," Sabrina sighed reflectively. "I am." They smiled at one another for a quick second. Sabrina's attention quickly diverted. "Annette, I got you Colombian. They didn't have dark roast." Annette swiveled on her chair in the corner to turn toward Sabrina and eye the coffee.

"Okay, no problem—thank you. How much was it?" She reached for her wallet under the counter and Sabrina made a disapproving sound.

"Don't worry about it." Annette gave her an incredulous look and Sabrina gave her a feisty one back. "Leave that money right where it is." She warned with a smile.

*

Sabrina's first client of the day entered the room. She was a young, lively very-early-20-something year old woman. Sabrina remembered her from previous visits; she was a regular. Sabrina gave her a smile from her stool.

"Good morning," Kelly greeted cheerfully. She sat in the chair and lifted her legs over the extended end. Sabrina placed her foot over the pedal to get started.

"Good morning, how're you?" Sabrina reached for a napkin-bib and clip beside her.

"I'm doing pretty good—just trying to finish up graduate school and get on with my life. I feel like this process has been never ending." Sabrina was suddenly reminded of how chatty she was. It was 9am and she was already so wound up. Luckily, Sabrina was in a better mood than she typically was. She didn't mind it today.

"Yeah, graduate school is tough - lean up for me." Sabrina clipped the napkin around her neck and laid it over her chest.

"But I'm so glad I did it otherwise I'd probably be broke. I had a really low undergraduate GPA and..." Sabrina tuned her out. She'd just let her ramble while Sabrina finished prepping for her cleaning. She made sure to reply with some occasional "Mhm"s and "Right"s when appropriate but she pretty much had no clue what she was talking about.

The voice of all voices cut through her attempt to block Kelly out. The radio played over the intercom in every dental room. It was usually a fun, rock/pop station or NPR. Today, it was playing an excerpt of Keegan's voice as he described that damn book.

She had finished it a few days ago. It took her a little less than a week to read close to 400 pages. In the end, Keegan's 'character' returned to Earth after traveling to his home planet to save it from self-destruction. He expected to have the same life as before with minimal explanation needed to the supposed love of his life. To his dismay and almost 200,000 readers across the country, he didn't win her back. She was betrayed by his lie of being an extraterrestrial being and by the fact that he had literally left the face of the Earth without telling her. The ending was incomplete which signaled he anticipated a sequel.

"Chelle," Sabrina rolled her stool toward the hallway. She couldn't stand to listen to him today but once she'd heard too much, she couldn't stop listening. The radio was immediately turned off in the room. It played elsewhere but she was spared. "Thank you" She called.

"I just love that book! Have you read it?" Sabrina glared at the young girl. Please don't do this. She pleaded mentally. Sabrina quickened her pace so she could get something in this girl's mouth to stop her from going on about the topic any further. "You have the same name as her too!" She looked at Sabrina with an expression of amused astonishment. Her blue eyes were so animated. Sabrina diverted her eyes somewhere else and raised her face mask.

"I'm leaning you back." She lowered the girl's chair.

"I just want him to get her back—he's sorry for what he did y'know?" Sabrina rolled her eyes to herself. As if she knew Keegan personally to determine what he was sorry for and just how much he was sorry for it. This girl was quickly ruining her mood. "Only so many men would go as far as he has so he must really love her. I'd love to just sit her down and tell her—some women are begging for men to care about them this much. I slept with a guy and he never called me back and we went to the same school!" Sabrina stifled a groan. The only benefit of her rambling was that she could occupy herself well enough that Sabrina didn't even need to engage. Being in her company was enough for her.

"Have you been flossing?" Sabrina foregone all her talking. She used her gloved hand to pry her teeth apart and she used her other hand to move the overhead light closer to where she was looking.

"Yes, every day." She was lying. Her gums were mildly inflamed; a clear symptom of not flossing. It was a common lie though. Sabrina didn't respond but just reached for her floss. Kelly didn't miss an opportunity to keep talking. "He's so hot too—have you seen him? He has the prettiest eyes—they're like gray or something. And he's really tall and lean—he seems like he knows what he's doing in the bedroom right? That height must mean something!" She laughed at own little joke.

However, Sabrina was far from laughing. She was actually getting a little jealous at hearing another woman talk about Keegan that way. She'd always taken pride in knowing she had him to herself. Her man had been only for her. Knowing he was back on the market meant he was eligible to be in another woman's bed. He could do things to them that she went so long thinking would be exclusively for her. Who knew of all the women who could now say Keegan had been in their bed?

Sabrina brought the floss to the woman's lips and hoped that the activity would be enough to warrant some silence. But Kelly was very talented; she managed to continue her conversation with herself without interrupting Sabrina's work. Her thin pink lips moved skillfully to form words and her tongue was careful of the string in her mouth.

"I mean, what kind of woman wouldn't want him? How many times does he need to apologize? She has to be some kind of idiot not to take him back." That was the straw that broke the camel's back.

"Maybe she's being cautious." Sabrina took them both by surprise. The edge in her voice caught Kelly's eyes and the fact that she had spoken at all hadn't even registered with her. Don't give yourself away, dummy. She chastised. "I mean, he did break her heart." She said that part a little more lightly from the barrier of her mask.

"Yeah I get it. Having your heart broken sucks! But true love is really rare. I think if his intentions are good—he didn't cheat on you and he isn't finding it easy to walk away—what else do you need? People make mistakes and everything but he just has to learn from them and come back." This chick was talking out of her ass. Sabrina could hardly stomach her response. It was so... desperate. She was forced to take Keegan back because she would never find someone else who felt that way about her? Someone who found it easy to repeatedly lie to her? If she never found someone else like him again—she wouldn't have a ton of complaints.

But she'd have a ton of disappointments.

"I know she loves him—I know she does. The love in that book is so raw. There's no way she could just forget about him."

"Sometimes," Sabrina sighed. She hadn't even realized she stopped flossing her teeth and sat back on her stool. Kelly was young and naïve; Sabrina doubted she would understand the situation subsurface. But she had to try and defend herself to this stranger for reasons she didn't know. "Sometimes it isn't just about love. Sometimes it's about how you feel when you go to bed at night—do you feel like you've respected yourself? Do you feel like you've lowered your standards by allowing something to go on or allowing someone back into your life?" Kelly was silent for once! She had nothing to say and Sabrina almost laughed about it. "I have to—I mean—she has to decide if she can live with herself if she took back this man who could walk away from her for three months and lie to her throughout the whole thing."

"Love can make you do crazy things—some of them are unexplainable. I don't doubt Keegan would spend every day of his life proving that choosing him was the best choice she could ever make. He would worship her." Kelly was solemn and that caught Sabrina off guard. All hints of her chipper mood had vanished. "I think they're meant to be."

*

Keegan waved his parents down from where he stood at the gate. His mother nearly sprinted toward him while his father juggled their luggage in the distance behind. Keegan's smile widened as she grew nearer and he held his arms outstretched for the arrival of her body. When they finally collided, he lifted her tiny frame off the ground and spun her in a light circle.

She laughed joyfully in his ear and he squeezed her tight in response.

Keegan couldn't explain his emotions at that moment. With all the turmoil and pain in his life, having his mother here with him meant more than he could imagine. Her wisdom and support was what kept his head on straight the past 10 months. Now she was finally in the flesh and here to witness all that he had done.

"Oh, goodness," Keegan could hear she was crying. He put her on her feet and pulled away gently. She was smiling while tears of joy streaked her pink cheeks. He laughed lightly above her.

"I missed you, ma." He said lightly with a smile. She collapsed back into his chest and held him tighter than before. He chuckled as his dad came into view, jokingly rolling his eyes at their encounter.

"Hey dad." He greeted. His mother, Cindy let go immediately so Keegan could greet his dad. She pulled away, wiping at her nose and placing disheveled strands of hair behind her ear. Keegan stepped toward his dad and they embraced one another roughly and thoroughly. His dad, Mark, beat on his back a few times as he always did when he hugged. Something about it was comforting for Keegan.

They pulled away with a sigh, everyone smiling and enjoying one another's presence. The chaos of the airport whirled around them but they couldn't stop staring at one another for those brief few seconds.

"Well, let's go." Keegan initiated on a laugh. Everyone moved with a sudden sense of urgency. He couldn't wait to talk to them about everything going on.

*

"What do I need a gown for?" Cindy asked from across the table.

Keegan took his parents out for dinner once they got settled at the Westin in the city. He wanted their visit to feel more like a vacation than anything else and he thought he was doing a pretty good job so far. They were eating at one of the best seafood restaurants in town—a place he and Sabrina always joked about being able to afford. Now, for him, it wasn't such an outrageous idea. He only wished he could share this newfound reality with the one who mattered most. She shook the familiar sinking in his core aside.

Keegan groaned as he placed his napkin over his lap. "I'm having an event for my novel tomorrow and it is somewhat..." He trailed off. "Like a gala." His mother gasped audibly.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner? My hair and nails—I need shoes!"

"Tomorrow we'll get you everything you need. Dad, you have a tux fitting, too. We both do." His dad had been quietly enjoying the bottle of white wine Keegan got for the table. Only when Keegan addressed him did his attention resurface.

"So, I had been meaning to ask but I wanted to do it in person." Cindy had a devilish smile and Keegan was weary. But he gave a look that coaxed her on. "Who is this book about—I think it's the girl you'd been telling me about before but I wasn't sure."

Keegan smirked. "It's her." He said simply. He wouldn't get into the mushy details of his heartbreak; it all felt out of place. His parents had never been too involved with his love life and this situation felt private. Cindy charged onward.

"You can't get her back? She must be special to have you talking about her everywhere you go. It hurts me to hear you hurting and being so vulnerable." She leaned forward, into the overhead light's circle of illumination and Keegan could see the intensity in her eyes. "I know you're going through something, you can talk to me."

"Keegan, maybe this is for the best; your career is taking off and doing well—she would've distracted you!" His dad interrupted passionately. "If she won't take you back, considering how everything is going for you, then she never will. Don't beat a dead horse." His dad triumphantly concluded his statement with a huff. Keegan's smile was pressing at the corners of his mouth.

His dad called him successful. He said he was doing well for himself and his writing career was taking off. The context was off-putting considering he'd drop everything to get Sabrina back. He never thought he'd see the day his father would acknowledge his passions and associate them with accomplishment. Keegan tried to move on from it.

"She's much more important to me than you know." He tried to figure out the best way to phrase his words but he kept coming up short. So, he'd just stick with what he knew best. "She is the love of my life. Sometimes - especially now that I have all this "stuff" and nothing feels real anymore, I feel like I can't live a happy life without her." His mother smiled as his father frowned. "I can't do this without her." And everyone at the table knew what he meant by "this".

"I have a plan." Cindy said confidently. Keegan and Mark's eyebrows furrowed together and they glanced at one another. But his mother, she was broadcasting a smile full of conviction

*

"Tell me how you feel about him." Rochelle commanded. Sabrina plopped on her couch with her brows pushed together. She placed her full glass of wine on the coffee table in front of her and curled her leg under her bottom.

"Chelle—" She started to protest. It was Friday night and she had every intention on sitting at home, enjoying her evening of peace. This interrogation was not going to positively contribute to that mission.

"Tell me how you feel about Keegan." She said it more forcefully this time. Sabrina sighed and stared blankly at the wall beside her. The moonlight shone through her open window. It lit up her otherwise pitched black living room.

"I feel stupid." She whispered to herself. She let her eyes close for a second, fighting back the tears she'd been so good about keeping under control. "I'm so confused." A piece of her wanted nothing more than to have him back in her life. That piece left her yearning for his presence when she found something funny or when her toys couldn't keep her satiated at night.

The other piece of her was afraid of being hurt again. That piece knew that Keegan had proved himself a liability to her heart. She'd worked so hard to live a full day without bursting out into tears and she had made it. That symbol of her strength and progress was highly valued by this piece of her. She couldn't handle any other blows like the one he had been responsible for.

"You're scared and unhappy, baby." Rochelle replied with sympathy saturating her words. Sabrina sat up tall in her seat. She sniffled nosily over the receiver and wiped her tears away roughly.

"But I'll be happy one day." Her voice cracked and she conjured more strength from her depths to compensate for it. "I'll meet a man who will never hurt me the way he did. I won't have to think twice about loving him."

"Okay, Sabrina." Rochelle replied.

"Do you think that makes sense?" She murmured like an unsure, insecure girl. "Chelle, I just don't understand this feeling. Why can't I just—"

"O—Okay, Bean—" Rochelle interrupted her hysterical rambling. "Go shower, shave and do your hair." Sabrina shook her head lightly.

"What?" Was she serious? "I don't feel like going anywhere."

"I'll be there in an hour. I'll use my key if I have to. Paint your nails, too." Rochelle said disgustedly. "I saw them at work and I couldn't believe you left the house like that." She grumbled.

Sabrina glanced at her nails, the chipped, spotting paint and jagged tips. She chuckled lightly to herself. "Girl, fuck you." They both laughed.

*

Rochelle brought Sabrina a floor length emerald gown to wear. Sabrina questioned the dresses' origin for 30 minutes as she paced her bedroom in her underwear. Rochelle swore up and down that she'd just happened to have it 'lying' around for a special occasion but she didn't believe it. It looked brand new. And Rochelle had never in her life worn a size 12 anything.

The dress curved with her body and flared gently at her knees. The fabric had a light shine that absorbed the light of the crystal chandelier in the hall's foyer overhead. There was a deep cut on the chest that showcased the curves of her round breasts and jewels lines the sweetheart neckline. There was a band that accentuated her natural waist and highlighted the curve of her hips. The dress's slit was almost too much for Sabrina but as she walked around the banquet hall, capturing the attention of men and women around. But she fell in love with the breeze on her upper thigh.

"What is this?" Sabrina mumbled sharply to Rochelle as she simultaneously smiled at the man who took her coat at the door. She checked her manicure after she slid her arms through the armhole of her coat to make sure it hadn't been ruined. She only had a few minutes to dry them before she left the house.

"It's—it's a thing for Yoel's job." She was too preoccupied with flagging a man down who had a tray of champagne in his hand. Both Sabrina and Rochelle thanked him and took a sip. Sabrina moaned; this was way better than that eight dollar bottle of wine she had been sipping on at home.

The foyer was grand and elaborate. It featured renaissance themed paintings, architecture and an amazing winding staircase. Everything about the location screamed elegance. A huge crowd gathered further into the foyer and there were at least 150 people sipping on drinks and picking small hors d'oeuvres from the many waiters walking around with trays. Sabrina's heels slowed as she took in the elaborate sight.

Her feet were already beginning to ache. She looked at her manicured toes and down at the crystal heels she'd had in the back of her closet. They were nearly 5 inches tall and the simplistic, embellished 3 straps dug deep into her skin.

"I hope we can sit down soon." She grumbled to Rochelle. Rochelle led the way toward the back wall. It was covered in a large mirror with abstract paintings bordering the wall space around it. Sabrina caught a glance of her hair and swiped her palm over her edges. She'd done a simple yet time consuming low bun with a side part. She tucked a curl at her temple that massive amounts of gel and hair scarf tied with the strength of Jesus couldn't even get to lay. Her heavy jeweled earrings glistened as she tilted her head.

"Everyone is watching you watch yourself." Rochelle laughed. Sabrina quickly turned around. As if on cue, someone in a tuxedo with a towel draped over his forearm approached with a tray of meat skewers. She carefully picked one off the tray and a thanked him for handing her a napkin.

*

Keegan swiped his sweating palms over his tuxedo blazer. His body felt like it was on fire.

"Don't you wanna think—" Keegan was growing tired of his publisher/manager. Paul was a great man and Keegan was thankful he'd had such a wonderful person working for him. But Keegan had told Paul of the risk when working with him. He'd also told him of all the benefits and once the checks started coming in from his novel. Paul had been even more understanding than ever before.