Community Service Ch. 13

"That, evidenced through your subdued manner and reverential demeanour and obedient compliance towards not only the authority figures of CSOs Karen and Linda but also to the Sock Room attendee females Ms Harmman has assigned you to serve, you have shown that you now know your place.

"Ms Harmman is now satisfied that your condition is such that in your own mind and in your heart of hearts you have recognised and accepted that the past is the past and what's gone is gone and that you have become reconciled to your own submissive and servile role in our new female-friendly Utopia.

"Which is why you are of such particular interest to me, David ...

"For their own, sake, even if they don't want to have their cake and eat it, prisoners Tina Marshall and Janice Middleton must at least learn which side their bread is buttered.

"The last thing the Authoritarian Female Party want is to be left with no option but to imprison the minuscule minority of dissenting females.

"So ... in the interests of securing Tina and Janice's release and preserving their freedoms, the AFP are willing to come to a compromise.

"Very generously, all that the AFP require is that Tina and Janice desist with their troublesome anti-AFP protests and cease their rebellious resistance, and turn a new - at least AFP-neutral page.

"Just simply agree to disagree. And consent to adopt a new, non-political standpoint henceforth.

"In other words: keep quiet and stay out of the AFP's hair ... which is where you come in, David."

What - as what my Sock Room supervisors had described as a 'decisive persuading factor' bargaining chip? I thought.

"I have been given to understand that in this vexed matter of bringing about prisoner Miss Tina Marshall's conditional freedom, if not quite her redemption, you may be of decisive persuasive influence."

So ... CSOs Karen and Linda had been in the know, after all. Albeit they were lowly CSOs, I knew now that insofar as I was concerned they were being kept in the loop by their superiors.

"And, if this little experiment turns out as well as my understanding of affairs of the heart inclines me to suspect it might, David, you may well be the template upon which I base my new ... Getting-them-to-see-the-light strategy."

So ... not just a bargaining chip, then. A guinea pig as well.

"David, despite your evident misgivings, what I am proposing is of mutual benefit: to me, to you, to Tina - and to Janice too, who I happen to know is also to you a very fond friend."

What's all this about? I wondered.

As though reading my thoughts, Governor Monroe got down now to the nuts and bolts of her brass tacks.

"To say the least, Tina and Janice are finding their extended stay with us - extended, due to their own, intransigent lack of co-operation - somewhat less than agreeable."

Ha! Who'd have guessed? Tell me something I don't know.

"But I know that Tina, to protect your feelings and save you from worry, has neither in her letters to you or during your weekly five-minute phone conversations, conveyed to you anything approaching the worst of her daily trials and tribulations."

I knew it!

Reading between the lines of her letters, I had been convinced of it myself: that she had been protectively keeping a heck of a lot back from me.

Confirmed now also, were my strong suspicions that the prison had all along been intercepting our written correspondence and listening in on our phone conversations.

"And I'm informed that you are less than happy with your community servant's assignment in Canford town's Sock Room ...?"

"That's, um ... one way of putting it, Governor."

"And I know that you have been as equally protective, of Tina - in keeping things, to yourself ...

"That, neither in your daily letters to Tina or during your weekly five-minute phone conversations with her, have you conveyed to her anything remotely approaching the worst of your hideous degrading experiences in the Sock Room.

"And that, neither have you told Tina that for more than three months now you have been working in the Sock Room for seven days a week - including your unremunerated ten-hour Saturday and Sunday shifts ...

"But, I'm pleased to tell you, David, that I believe it lies within your power to resolve both of your less than satisfactory situations."

"You mean ... talk to Tina? Ask her to turn a new page? I don't think so, Governor. I'm sorry, but I wouldn't dream of it. And anyway, Tina wouldn't listen. As I say, she is extremely principled and moral-minded. And she's set in her mind. Especially so, where the AFP is concerned. She wouldn't hear, of-"

"Oh, but I think she might, David. When she hears that you are about to be admitted to Greystone Prison yourself ... because she and Janice won't come to their senses."

"Wh-what? M-me? But-"

"Of course, I would hate to have to do it, and it would greatly pain me, but ... should it come to it, having you admitted here would be a mere formality. And, once incarcerated ... who knows when you might see the light of day again?"

"But ..."

"But at least you would be consoled with the thought that any time you spent here with us would be time spent well.

"Not least, because like all prisoners here you would undergo and thus be improved by our daily doctrinal inculcation of female-friendly ideological values. The specially chosen Personal Rehabilitator I would assign to your Female-Friendly Personal Improvement Programme would be charged with making certain of that."

"Ma'am?" said prison officer Bella Donna. "I would strongly recommend officer Analise as Community servant David's Personal Rehabilitator."

"Thank you, officer Bella Donna," the Governor said, writing something in the notepad on her desk.

"But, I ..."

"Still ... why, upset yourself, in dwelling on the negatives?" said the Governor, pointedly pointing her pen at what she'd just written in her notepad, and then meaningfully looking in turn at prison officers Bella Donna and Billie Jo.

"When there's no need to."

So, this was the 'Sword of Damocles' that was meant to get Tina to 'play ball': The threat of having me imprisoned here. In Greystone Prison ... home of the Wheel of Chastisement.

And possibly even worse: the workplace of prison officers Bella Donna and Billie Jo.

And possibly even worse still: having prison officer Analise assigned as my 'Personal Rehabilitator' ... ("And, Community servant David: End up here, and ... I might even make you my bitch.")

I couldn't know for certain whether Governor Monroe was just putting the frighteners on me or whether her threat was genuine.

But I had to assume it was no bluff. And it certainly didn't feel like an idle threat.

Nevertheless, even for my sake I seriously doubted I could get Tina and Janice to change their anti-AFP stance, and to "turn a new - at least AFP-neutral page".

Tina would say that we couldn't just simply give in, to such heinous governmental oppression.

That some things in this world are worth fighting for.

That, some things were bigger than her; bigger than her and Janice - and bigger than us.

That, some things were worthy of sacrifice.

Was this my time, to stand up and be counted, too?

To get up, off my knees, and to stand up again?

And to tell Governor Meredith Monroe 'No'?

Or, should I try to convince Tina that this whole AFP thing was just ... too big, for us?

Just too big, for us to go up against.

Just too big, for us to fight.

Should I try to persuade Tina and Janice to get 'out of the AFP's hair'?

Try to get them to put away their protest placards?

To desist, with their demonstrations?

And to 'see the light'?

On the face of it, the conditional offer did seem quite generous.

Tina and Janice could leave this awful place, and get on with their lives again.

But, when I, acting as Governor Meredith Monroe's ... special emissary, put the AFP's offer to Tina and Janice, would they decide that, yes, maybe their fight was futile, couldn't be won, and that enough was enough - and accept it?

Or, would Tina and Janice throw the offer back in the AFP's face ... effectively throwing me into Greystone Prison with them?

When my sudden unexpected chance to visit Tina had come up this morning, I certainly hadn't envisaged anything as fraught with peril as this!

"Governor, I-"

"David, there's a relatively good life to be had, under the aegis of the Authoritarian Female Party, for certain male ... conformists."

"But, Governor-"

"Convince Tina and Janice to ... see the light. And I shall release them.

"If they so wish, I can arrange through their local MP Ms Harmman to have them reinstated in their old jobs at the Burger Heaven fast-food outlet."

"But Governor, don't you see?" I blurted helplessly. "It won't matter what I say. It won't make any difference. Their anti-AFP positions are entrenched and intractable. There is just no way that Tina and Janice will back down, from their-"

"And I shall have you transferred. As early as next Monday. Out of that dreadful Sock Room, and into what I am sure you will find an altogether more agreeable assignment."

I couldn't help my curiosity.

"A new assignment, Governor?"

"The AFP's Minister for Prisons, Ms Lynne Truss, was here earlier. And, after she'd made her usual rounds of Greystone, and availed herself as usual of some of its ... facilities - which Ms Truss always looks forward to and rather enjoys - during our discussions over coffee she dropped into the conversation something she has said to me on numerous occasions before: that she would rather like the idea of sharing an 'Under-footman' with her Cabinet colleagues.

"Ms Truss is of a mind, that she would find an Under-footman's presence in her office ineffably agreeable: stress-relieving; sublimely soothing; incomparably comforting - and his broader, office-boy services, wouldn't go amiss either."

"A ... Under-footman, Governor?"

"Yes ... I'm sure you get the idea, David."

"Governor, I'm not sure, that I want to-"

"Think about it, David ...

"It would be your ticket out of the Sock Room.

"You could say goodbye, to Mrs Newlove and her cronies Gina Stainham and Cheryl Chubb ...

"Oh yes, Ms Harmman has told me all about them. Via your two supervisors CSOs Karen and Linda - who, from what Ms Harmman tells me, I'd bet you'd like to say goodbye to as well!

"Well, you can say goodbye to them all, David.

"And say hello, instead, to the AFP's Minister of Prisons, Ms Lynne Truss. And to Prime Minister Caroline Flynt. And to their Cabinet colleagues: Rachel Reef, Patti Patel, Dinah Abbey, Theresa Maynard, Amber Reid, Heidi Harlan, Lisa Candi, Anna Savoury, Nadia Dorris, Susan Power, Stella Casey, Yvonne Cooper, Les Kindle ..."

Veritably a stellar collection of Authoritarian Female Party governmental Heads of Department luminaries.

But if Governor Monroe thought that to me the fifteen infamous names of those authoritative women she'd just reeled off read like an all-star cast of Hollywood sex-symbol actresses, she had seriously misjudged me.

From seeing them all being interviewed on TV so often, I was sure I would recognise each and every overbearing, authoritarian, browbeating one of them should I ever meet them in person.

Just as, upon seeing her earlier, I'd instantly known the AFP's Minister for Prisons, Ms Lynne Truss. When by chance, we'd met briefly in passing as she was exiting the Security Checkpoint building accompanied by her haughty ministerial Jet Ranger helicopter pilot Isobel.

Upon her seeing my identity emblazoned on my white uniform T-shirt, Ms Truss had alluded then as to the matter now under discussion.

Governor Monroe went on, "Ms Truss told me today that she has now canvased Prime Minister Caroline Flynt and all of her Cabinet colleagues on the matter of the ... acquisition. And the result has been one of unanimous approval. All of them are most receptive - indeed, highly agreeable - to the notion of sharing an Under-footman.

"Sharing - at first, that is.

"Because if my new plan works out as successfully as I anticipate, once all Cabinet Ministers have been furnished with an Under-footman, subsequent thoroughly vetted specially selected dogsbody/factotum/foot servants, such as yourself, will then be assigned to their secretaries. And eventually, performing their menial but worthwhile, stress-relieving roles, Under-footmen will be serving Authoritarian Female Party personnel right throughout Government - central and local.

"This is your chance to be in at the beginning, David. You could have the distinction of becoming the Authoritarian Female Party's very first Under-footman. Surely you appreciate the privilege of the honour?

"Would you rather serve these, distinguished, AFP ladies of power, assigned to the decidedly more useful and infinitely more worthwhile senior governmental beck and call of any and all, in the officialdom of their comfortable Houses of Parliament offices ...

"Or remain in the Sock Room, in the power of the apparently maniacally obsessive Mrs Norma Newlove - who's raison d'etre, seems to be to do anything and everything she can to make your Sock Room servitude as miserable as possible?

"And remain, in the cruel clutches of her bitchy cronies Gina Stainham and Cheryl Chubb - who, from all accounts appear to ride the same Hobby Horse as Mrs Newlove, in that apparently they are similarly ambitioned and almost equally malicious and malevolent in their determination to reduce you to wretchedness?

"And remain, too, subject to the casual capricious callousness of many of the other Sock Room attendees.

"Some of whom - as we know from CSOs Karen and Linda's documented reports - must be to you like treble-trouble women.

"Those, exceptionally cruel, females, who particularly delight in having you Standard-Sixed - some of them, revelling in administering the bare bottom caning personally ... as well as availing themselves, of the personal pamperings and pleasures of your ... extra-laundry, services.

"And, last but not least: To remain, hand-washing all of their dirty, stinky socks every day - for seven days a week.

"Because let me make this clear, Community servant David double-oh-seven. Fail me now, and you can be most assured that I shall exert to ensure to the last sinew of my own, not inconsiderable influential muscle, that without any hope of a transfer, you will remain stuck in your sad and sorry Sock Room situation ...

"The permanent, sock-washer and foot servant, to the females of Canford.

"That is ... if I am to indicate in my report to the AFP's Minister of Prisons that our little chat today has resulted in an adverse outcome.

"If I am to inform her that, regretfully it has not gone as I'd reasoned that it would, and confidently opined that it would - and indeed assured her that it would.

"In a nutshell: If you were to disappoint Ms Lynne Truss, by thwarting her and her Cabinet colleagues' expeditious acquisition of an Under-footman.

"But, no matter.

"Why dwell on the possible negatives?

"When there is no need to.

"When you can say goodbye, to all of that.

"And say hello, instead, and even possibly become assigned permanently - should you outshine your fellow specially selected Under-footmen - to the office of Prime Minister Caroline Flynt herself.

"When, all you have to do, David, is to get my new strategic plan successfully up and running.

"Off you go, then.

"Go along now, with officers Bella Donna and Billie Jo.

"And persuade your sweetheart Tina and her best friend Janice to ... See the light."

*

"Hands behind your back, Community servant David double-oh-seven," snapped prison officer Bella Donna, just as soon as we were outside Governor Meredith Moroe's office.

"What? But, the Governor! She said-"

"It's what I say."

"But-"

"And I won't tell you again about backchat! You are now seriously overstepping the mark!"

I was pushing my luck again, I realised.

By now I should know better than to argue with the Ice Princess - let alone defy her.

"Yes, officer Bella Donna," I said respectfully. "But, please, not so tightly this-"

And again, it was all I could do not to cry out in pain and protest as again with a grunt of gratification she cinched her handcuffs closed over my wrists painfully tight. "If I decide you've earned it, through good behaviour and improved manners and impeccable respect ... I might loosen them just a little."

"Now come on, Community servant David - let's go!" prison officer Billie Jo said sharply.

"And you'd better hope, too, that babysitting you doesn't cost officer Bella Donna and me our late-sitting lunch break in the Staff Canteen - or tight handcuffs will be the least of your worries!"

*

Apart from the three of us, there were no other passengers in the lift and so prison officer Bella Donna pressed the pad of her pale-skinned clear nail varnished index finger on the No. 5 button.

The door closed, and then slowly we began our ascent from the Ground Floor to Greystone Prison's highest Floor - Level 5.

Deeming it prudent to remain silent, I said nothing as I listened to my two escorts' casual and, not so much unguarded, as complacent, carefree conversation.

Which, despite its short duration was information-rich, instilled fear into me, and also confirmed some earlier uneasy feelings I'd had about the two woeful prisoners I'd seen being escorted down the steps at the side of the Staff Canteen at the badgering behest of prison officer Siobhan ...

Prison officer Billie Jo said, "That was a nice touch, Bel. Recommending to the Governor that, should this bozo here with us find himself enjoying a spell of our renowned hospitality, Analise be assigned as his Personal Rehabilitator."

I stared at the lift's floor, listening to the two of them enjoying a little chuckle about that.

Prison officer Bella Donna then slipped her right foot from its foam-rubber soled flip flop and said, wiggling her toes to air them, "Which reminds me ... prisoners Lightwood and Chapman's release dates are both coming up again soon, BJ."

"So we'll just tell the Governor what we told her last time: 'I'm afraid prisoners Leonard Lightwood and Ross Chapman are showing signs of lapsing again, Ma'am. Perhaps their sentences should be extended a little longer ...?' That's always worked for us before, Bel. You know the Governor usually acts on her officers' recommendations."

"We've really and truly brought those two to heel, haven't we, BJ?"

"Yeah, Bel. Quite literally. Though to be honest, I think you've got the better of the two of them with Lightwood. He was actually quite spirited. And at least he is a real man - I can always tell the type: a gallivant who has obviously been around the block a few times and has plenty of notches on his bedpost. Unlike that total loser Ross Chapman, who has just as obviously never made proper use of his dick - and now thanks to me he never will. That gutless wimp Chapman soon had it worked out that it would go a lot better for him if he just rolled over. Whereas Lightwood gamely held out defiantly, didn't he? Again and again, despite the canings you gave him, and the face-slappings - and possibly only Melanie can match you, at that skill - he defied your authority and said 'No' to you. Offering more in the way of a challenge from so steadfastly refusing to assume the position for Foot Service."

"Well, no, not really, BJ. If you remember, Len Lightwood was quite resistant - but only at first. Until I ball-kicked all the spirit out of him on the Wheel."

"Yes, that does the trick with most prisoners. Once they've been on that little round-trip, they'll do anything to avoid having to ride the Wheel a second time."

"It put paid to Lightwood's defiance, BJ. That's for sure. But his initial stubbornness was only for show - it was never going to amount to anything more than a futile token gesture. A lot of prisoners are like that, aren't they? They seem to feel that enduring a ballbusting is some kind of prerequisite reconciliatory right of passage they have to go through before they can forgive themselves for giving in to what in ninety-nine per cent of cases is inevitable - submitting to providing Foot Service."