Consent Ch. 14

(1) Remember, this is chapter 14. Depending on what the reader wants, maybe this is a story on its own, or maybe it needs the background of the previous chapters;

(2) For the lazy among you, Jack was a lonely gamer who got laid off. He was also into cross dressing and many other fetishes in a big way. In his despair and loneliness, he answered an ad on a Femdom website from a domme looking for a model to use in videos. There was more to it. She wanted a slave, but in order to have every fantasy he ever dreamed about, he had to agree to be her slave. Months of training took place and he came under her spell, even having surgery for breast implants. He sublimely consented to all of it, becoming thoroughly addicted to her. The beauty of it was that the domme did this to fulfill her own fantasies. It is the classic tale of a submissive being taken by a dominant. They both get exactly what they want. But what they didn't count on was falling in love with each other, and that creates confusion in the traditional domme/sub relationship.

(3) This is fiction. Unprotected sex with strangers is unsafe. Breath play is unsafe.

(4) The underlying theme here is cross dressing and transsexualism. But there is an enormous amount of bondage, discipline, sadism, masochism, erotic public humiliation, Femdom, all that stuff. So be prepared. I thought about putting it under the BDSM banner.

(5) This is probably the last chapter. I could write more, but I think a conclusion has been reached. Any more would just be more and more sex scenes and would not be in the best interests of the story. If you disagree, let me know.

(6) There are trolls that hate this stuff and let me know with both barrels regularly. Feel free. I just ask, "Why read a genre that you don't care for?" Ho-hum. Do what you want.

*****

Despite efforts to remove the smell and taste of ejaculate inside Jackie's mouth, the gum, the mints, and the flushes of water with toothpaste, nothing removed it completely. And as she walked hand in hand with Johanna who was leading her like the slave that she was, she began to realize that the physical taste was not really there; it was only her memory of it. She was fantasizing how it felt to have a cock in her mouth spurting warm and salty cum into her and over her face. She wanted it. She had to have it. She needed it.

Something had fundamentally changed, and she glanced furtively over at Johanna as she strode forward, backlit by the downtown skyline of Calgary by the Bow River. Reflections of the lights rippled in the unsteady waters of the swiftly flowing river. Johanna had delivered on her promises. She had promised to change her irrevocably, and she had.

Her legs swished and sighed from the movement within the tight party dress, and her breasts bounced when they walked fast or stepped down off a curb. This was real. And it excited her in so many ways. Men passed her and their eyes did a complete body sweep. They stared and smiled. Some were more obviously sexual in their attentions. More than anything she felt like a woman, but it wasn't just that; she felt like a female slut, she felt a need, as a nymphomaniac demands the need. It didn't matter what type, male, female, gay, straight. She needed sex in ways she never knew existed for her, anally, orally...even denial seemed to be a form of sex now. Crazy...that's what she had become. Crazy for it.

Now apprehension began to seep in. Jackie had longed to make love to Johanna for so long, ever since she met her, and now the dream was about to come true. But was even that enough now? The female hormones coursing through her body now made her feel more like a woman now than a man, and she wanted cock. It was just that simple.

And yet she was Johanna's slave, so she had to be what Johanna wanted. Would it even matter if Johanna was not enough for her now? What if she needed to be humiliated, abused, restrained, and even denied, to become satisfied? Was Johanna up to that?

"Johanna?" she blurted out.

"What?"

"I feel weird. Excited, but weird. I feel like I've maybe gone insane. I'm really gone, aren't I? I mean, Jack is really gone. And even Jackie is so perverted, can she be normal? Can I be normal? I mean, what if...?"

Johanna squeezed her hand and said, "Relax Jackie. You're right; Jack is gone and you can't go back to what you were. And just go with the fact that you're not normal. And regarding your fantasies now, they're your new reality. That's what you're afraid of, right?"

Jackie mumbled, just audible for Johanna to hear, "I enjoyed Kent. Jesus, does that make me gay?"

Johanna couldn't help but laugh. "Nothing MAKES you gay, but everything can make you sexual. I think it makes you more sexual actually, and maybe even a woman."

The Marriot was just ahead and they walked in verbal silence now. The only sounds were their high heels clicking on the sidewalk and the swishing of their dresses. The only physical feelings noticed by Jackie were the tightness of her corset, the bounce of her breasts, the slight breeze wafting under her skirt, and the compression of her penis under the girdle. The emotions, however, swirled about her like smoke in a blues bar. Just a few months ago, she was a man, single, and supposedly free. Now she was a woman, a slave, and ironically she felt more free than she had in her entire life. She felt overwhelmed with her changes, and the hormonal fluctuations made her want to cry. Instead she pulled Johanna close and let her lead on, dependent and in need.

"My name is Johanna Alby. My assistant arranged for a room," Johanna said to the desk clerk.

Jackie's head snapped around. It was the first time she had heard Johanna's last name in all this time. Strange world this was, when names did not really matter.

"Certainly ma'am. Could I see some ID please?"

After the formalities, "Here is your card. Room 1404. Does your, uh, companion need a card as well?"

"No, she doesn't."

They continued to the elevator, still holding hands and close together. Jackie's eyes were cast downward and meek while Johanna's were raised, like nobility, self-assured, dominant.

Jackie felt the eyes. She struggled to remain feminine as her gait became shaky. She tripped over a carpet edge and fell to the side slightly. A tall man in a business suit grasped her arm and helped her to regain her balance, the quick reflex not as accurate as it seemed, with his hand glancing off her breast in the movement. Due to the earlier treatment, it was painful.

He smiled and blushed at his misplaced touch while glancing up and down her body, and he said, "Are you okay miss?"

Jackie's heart fluttered. She felt so weak and he seemed so strong. Jesus, had she changed this much?

"Thank-you. Yes I'm fine. Just tripped on the carpet." She smiled and briefly looked into his blue eyes before she flushed and cast her eyes downward again. She felt like a school girl. Images flashed before her eyes of this strange man doing strange things to her, and immediately the corset seemed tighter and she became out of breath.

Inside the elevator she struggled to regain her composure while Johanna studied her with amusement.

"We could have had him you know."

"What? Had who? The guy with the blue eyes?" she said breathlessly.

"Yes. That's the wonder of being a woman, and especially a pretty woman. You can have anybody you want for sex. At times you may not like the attention, but you'll just have to get used to that if I let you go out on your own in the future. You have to learn to be choosy. I thought about asking him into the bar for a drink, but I've had enough of men for tonight. You and I are going to finish the night together."

"You mean make love?" Jackie asked.

"Hmm, I suppose we could call it that. I do love you, but I can separate out the sex. I want to use you for my fantasies. And we both know you want to be used, and you fantasize the abuse, so everything works out doesn't it?"

Answering "yes" would have diminished the fantasy, so Jackie simply blushed and submitted by bowing her head and saying nothing. She was right. Jackie's entire existence depended now upon her submission to Johanna, and others if she so demanded it. Way back, a long time ago (psychological time), she had given her consent to this submission, but now she was never asked. She wondered where that invisible line had been crossed, the one where everything on the other side was consensual whether or not the question was ever asked again. Being so addicted to the intricacies of her fantasies, Jackie dared not question anything that was imposed upon her, for fear that her fantasies be withdrawn, the corsets, the dresses, the makeup, the sex. Besides, she had breasts now, large ones, and that in itself was a permanent change both physically and emotionally. Removing all that was inconceivable now. The woman at the club had been right on; she realized there was no way back, no trails marked by bread crumbs to follow back to normality. The crumbs had been eaten up, like her own former self. Once tasted, once eaten, there was no return.

The elevator lurched slightly. Floor 10. Floor 11. Floor 12. She looked down between her breasts at what she was now and a surge of excitement hit her like a drug rush. Floor 14. She smiled at the irony of the 14th floor. It was the 13th with another name.

"Thirteenth floor," she said absently, "That's fitting I guess."

Johanna looked at her with a puzzled expression and said, "You're thinking too much. As far as the world's concerned, it's the fourteenth floor. Are you still in sub-space or something? If you are, maybe I'll keep you there while I fuck you. As long as Geoffrey remembered all the stuff, I guess I have that option."

It was almost as if Johanna was talking to herself. Jackie had no say in the sexual plans. The elevator door opened just as Jackie said, "Yes ma'am, you do."

And thus, consent was given again.

Room 1404. The door was opened with Johanna's card and she grasped Jackie's elbow, escorting her in. Jackie felt a blast of excitement, feeling like a whore about to be used, or perhaps even more humiliating: a slut who did it for nothing. The thrill of that rushed through her as she sat on the edge of the bed, feeling the anal plug push up against her prostate. Yes, she was a slut, not a whore. Whores got paid. But then again, her slavery deal with Johanna was that she was paid a monthly salary to perform such services, so the terminology was less clear. Either way, she was a whore or a slut, and she liked that.

A mysterious duffle bag had been neatly placed on the end of the bed by someone, presumably Geoffrey, and it was doubtless filled with bondage gear and perhaps specialized clothing. Jackie wondered if her hands would be free tonight to touch Johanna like she had dreamed and fantasized ever since she met her.

There was a strange tension in the room, smoky and crackling, like two virgins on their wedding night. Johanna had already opened the bar fridge and was sipping white wine out of a small bottle as she looked out over the city lights spread like a twinkling carpet below her.

"Come here," she said abruptly. It was an order, and she was serious.

Jackie got up and approached, and when she was close, Johanna handed her the bottle and pulled her near, so that their hips and shoulders touched. Jackie drank as Johanna put her arm around her corseted waist and pulled her even closer.

"Wow! Pretty, isn't it?" she sighed.

"Yes ma'am." Jackie was reassured that this was just Johanna's way and put her arm around her as well.

They stood in silence for several minutes enjoying the solitude, in contrast to the bizarre and frenzied sexual scenes of the hours before. Gradually their attentions became focused upon one another. Johanna turned her head and leaned in to kiss Jackie gently on the cheek.

"You're beautiful tonight," she said in a whisper.

"Thank-you ma'am. So are you."

"So...you like men now, you say. That's good...I think. Is my job done? Have I feminized you completely? I'm curious, do you identify as a woman now, or still like a man dressed as a woman?"

"A woman," Jackie answered immediately, surprising herself, "Definitely a woman." In contradiction it caused her penis to stir under her girdle and she smiled and blushed. Such a curious mix of hormones governed her now, she thought. It was like she had one foot in a boat and one on the wharf.

"I don't want you to have the surgery you know. Remember what I said when I got you...that I fantasized a man with breasts, or a woman with a penis?"

Jackie laughed and said, "I know. This is okay. I'm fine."

Then as she thought about that, she added, "But what if I wanted to, you know, someday?"

"Really?" Johanna asked.

"Something is happening to me...I've started thinking about it. I even dreamed about it last week."

"Hmm, I see."

Johanna was disappointed and it showed. This was not her fantasy, and this was going a bit off course.

"You do understand that if I give you the permission and the money for the sex reassignment, that I'd have to get a new slave to satisfy my fantasies, don't you?"

"My turn to say: really? I hadn't thought about that. Jeez, I don't even want to think about that. I won't get the surgery if you don't want me to."

"Well, I don't want you to, so you certainly won't. I've created you to be what you are right now, and this is it. You're mine and that's the way it's going to stay. For now. If I get bored with you, then I may get a new slave, but not now. Business is booming because everyone wants a piece of your trannie ass. You're a commodity that I don't want to lose."

Jackie felt a stab of jealousy and insecurity. This relationship was always going to be that way. "I understand ma'am," she said with an erotic rush of submission.

Johanna unexpectedly changed the course of events by turning Jackie around and unzipping her dress, pulling it down gently over her shoulders. The stretchy tightness of it met resistance at her breasts, then at her hips, before it swished and fell in a soundless heap on the floor. She traced the contours of Jackie's breasts and down over the wasp-like waist defined by the corset.

Jackie shivered and closed her eyes as the bulge in her girdle was tickled with first a fingernail, then a hand.

"Please...ma'am? I need you. Please?" she whispered.

"I know baby. You'll always need me, won't you?" Johanna's voice hummed with suggestive hypnosis.

"Yes ma'am," Jackie responded, succumbing to the trance. She caught herself and added, "Can my hands be free tonight ma'am?"

"Maybe. I may want them, but maybe not too. But I think it would be best if you slept in bondage, at least when you're sleeping with me." Her voice had gone from slippery hypnotic persuasion to a curt explanation of what she wanted out of this.

Jackie considered this. This is what she hated and loved about her, the constant balancing act, adjusting to her demands on the fly. And now, tonight, she was actually going to have sex with her dream mate, and the post-sex reward was to be restrained for the rest of the night?

"But I maybe want to cuddle you for the night..." Jackie asked pleadingly.

Johanna looked at her sharply and said, "Well, that's sweet, but that's the deal. Take it or leave it. Remember, I can still just use you and restrain you without allowing your orgasm. So, what's it to be?"

"Jeez ma'am!" Jackie said, decidedly frustrated, "Ok, you know what my answer is." And she emphasized that by putting her head meekly on her shoulder.

"So, as always you agree to be what I want you to be?"

"Of course I do, I just thought..."

"Well, stop thinking."

"Yes ma'am."

The music of submission and dominance swirled about them and they twirled and dipped in the bizarre but not so chaotic dance. This had an order to it that was necessary, not a free-style dance. This was so far from normal foreplay that the room seemed to bristle with tension. Jackie went back to the bed and sat down on the side facing the window where Johanna still stood, a second bottle of wine in her hand. Her switch had turned once again, and Jackie prepared herself for the change in direction.

"Look, I'm sorry I always seem to snap at you," Johanna said gloomily. She stared out over the city lights, deep in thought for a seemingly endless time.

Finally she said, "You see, I have issues with intimacy. I'm not good at it. And frankly, my fantasies are so bizarre that I have to have them to stir my loins, so to speak, in the same way you need to be treated the way you're treated in order for you to get off. Reality can get in the way of that at times and cause regret and hurt feelings. Look, what I'm trying to say is that I need you and you need me, but it has to be in a certain way or it won't work; the fantasy switch gets turned off. We are both fucked up in ways that suit each other. We need that switch locked on. All the time."

She stopped and tipped the bottle of wine once more. "And now that you know this, I want you to forget I ever said it. Because if you remember, it would spoil everything. There is pure fantasy, and there is pure reality, but we have something else: it's social and sexual reality created from fantasy, and that can be fragile."

She didn't look at Jackie as she said all this, and she sipped more wine, still looking away. Jackie observed her in astonishment at this insight into their world.

"I will never talk about this again," Johanna said barely out loud, "Understand what I say, and then consent to it, and then forget. Do you understand?"

Jackie was enthralled and astounded by this revelation from Johanna. She smiled and said, "Thank-you for that. Sometimes I do think that..."

"Stop thinking. It gets in the way. Now, put your hands behind your back."

"But..."

Johanna interrupted with a wry smile and asked, "Have you forgotten what I said?"

Jackie had to think about that for a second. Then she understood what she was supposed to forget and she also smiled and said, "Yes ma'am."

"Very good. Now look straight ahead and don't move."

She obeyed and waited with erotic anticipation while Johanna dumped the contents of the duffel bag out on the floor at the foot of the bed. Leather, chains, locks and buckles created a unique music of bondage, sweet only to those that partake of it. Jackie felt that familiar feel of leather go over her hands, up her arms until both her hands were encased in a single mitten at the end. The arm-binder was fastened with buckles at her shoulders and laced tightly up her back until her elbows almost touched each other. She sighed inside with complete submission.

Johanna stood in front of her and told her to stand up. With great difficulty she removed the two layers of girdles to reveal Jackie's penis, fully erect and pulsating. She batted at it playfully, saying, "See what I mean? When we don't remember and we don't think, look what happens."

Jackie recoiled but turned back for more. This time something very incongruent happened. Johanna got on her knees and took her slave into her mouth, slowly at first, licking and kissing, and finally taking all of it as Jackie gasped, swaying on her feet with her eyes closed and her mouth open in full-on lust. The entire evening at the club, she had been used as an orifice for others' pleasure, not one of them touching her there. She started to buck her hips and groan, and just when the groans became high-pitched and uncontrolled, Johanna let her go, back into that horrible limbo of frustration and denial.

"No, no, no, please no!" Jackie begged, almost in tears. She opened her eyes and stared at Johanna's triumphant face and said, "Please Johanna...uh ma'am, I'll go nuts if I don't come soon. I can't stand it any longer! Please..."