Country Gin

- Friday, October 31, 2013, California, just outside of Los Angeles -

I finished up my email and closed the laptop. It's getting late, I better go carve the pumpkin and set it out for the kids to see.

Why oh why did I ever buy this house out in the burbs? My accountant thought Real Estate would be a great investment for my sudden millions from the stock options. I could be in an apartment in Westwood, with lots of nubile girls all around, and be invited to one of those "adult" Halloween parties where each girl competes to show the most skin and drink the most booze until its one naked orgy into the night...

Who am I kidding. I could be at the Halloween Party at the Playboy Mansion and by the time the night was over I still would be a 5'7" virgin nerd. -sigh-

Let me introduce myself. I am David Prince, 26 with double doctorates in Math and Computer Science from Cal Tech. When I graduated at 22, I joined a little startup in LA called One. That's right, THAT One, the app that is on everyone's smart phone. I was employee # 7 and now I am one of 4 Chief Scientists at One. My stock options are currently valued at $127 million and growing.

My accountant wanted me to do a partial cash out and put some money in stable assets, like this stupid 7,000 sq ft house in a gated community in Calabasas. My neighbors are all older than my parents and there are no single girls my age in the whole neighborhood.

But that probably doesn't matter, I am shy around girls. No, let me restate that. I am extremely shy around girls, dysfunctionally shy. As I said, I am still a virgin... I must be the only virgin millionaire in LA. In high school I didn't date, didn't go to the Prom, nothing, not even a kiss. That was partially because I was 2 grades ahead. I graduated at 16. But it was still the same at Cal Tech when I was older. No dateee, no kissee, no fuckee. Nada, zilch, zero.

I was six sigma shy. An outlier in the bell curve of love. It didn't get any better when I graduated and went to work. Start ups take a lot of hours, no time for love, or even lust. But even now, when the company was on cruise control, I hadn't dated at all.

But back to the pumpkin at hand. We didn't have many small kids inside the gates, but the local exclusive private schools bussed their elementary school children to our gated community for Trick or Treat, as our streets were considered "safe" within our gates. As if the neighboring multi-million dollar subdivisions outside our gates were all just crack houses. I got about 50-75 kids last year and expect more tonight.

Which is why I have to carve out this pumpkin and throw an LED flashlight into it to make a Jack o' Lantern for the porch before it gets too dark. This pumkin was HUGE. Supposedly it was from somewhere back east that grew the biggest pumpkins. But that is probably just Whole Foods justifying the huge price. I could barely lift it, but it will look great on the porch.

I heaved the pumpkin up on the island in the kitchen, got out a big knife and sliced into the gourd at the top to make the lid. A greasy yellow smoke started pouring out of the slit. WTF?

And then the smoke seemed to ignite and there was a blinding flash and a clap of thunder.

When I stopped seeing purple spots, I saw that the pumpkin was gone. And there in my kitchen stood this guy.

He was about 6 foot, sort of lean but muscular, in coveralls, flannel shirt and work boots. He had greasy blond hair sticking out of a John Deere cap on a handsome face.

"Y'all got some beer?", said the apparition with a big smile.

"What?". I stood in shock with my jaw on the floor.

"Beer. Y'know. Bud, Hamm, Miller", he went on. "Hell, ah's so thusty ah will take a Cores Light. If'n you don't have none t'all can you carry me over to the Piggly Wiggly and we'll get us a case."

"I've got some St Pauli Girl." I went to the fridge and fetched him a bottle.

"Ah aint had one of these " He looked at the label. "Wooey, lookit them tits on that girl. Ah'd like to drink som a her, sure would."

I finally regained some of my wits. "Who are you and where the hell did you come from?"

"Mah name's Cornelius, but ev'rybody calls me Corny. An' ah come fum Cullman County, Alabama... ROLL TIDE." He chugged the beer. "Less plant our butts somewhar an' Ill tell ya mah sto'y. But fust...Kin ah have t'other one of these tittie beers?"

I grabbed him another St Paulis and we sat at the kitchen table.

Corny took a swig of beer and then started talking.

"Ya see it all started wif Lulamai. She was th' dotter of Farmer McDaniels. ah used t'move aroun' doin' farm wawk fo' diffrunt farmers aroun' Cullman County an' tharabouts. McDaniels raised squash an' lotsa gourd vegitables. Wal it was June an' th' crop was startin' t'pow'ful grow as it was gittin' hot an' steamah. One day ah walked up an' axed him eff'n he had wawk. He offerred room (out in th' hay barn, not in th' house) an' board an' $20 fo' a 12 hour day. ah said yessuh an' gotta wawk. When supper came aroun' ah sat down in th' kitchen an' thet was when ah sar Lulamai. She was his only chile, an' her Maw was killed in a car accident 2 years ago. Lulamai was th' wimmen of th' house so she cooked an' sarved th' grub. She came out warin' a noo summer dress an' ah noticed thet pumpkins werent th' only thin' thet grew trimenjus on this hyar farm, dawgone it. Double Dee-licious whooey. She was jest 18, a gnat's whisker past Jail Bait an' ah started t'lay on th' charm. "

"Af'er a week o' so ah didn't mind not sleepin' in th' house. Th' barn gots lot of privacy. But one night her Pappy muss haf heard noises. Lulamai was a screamer. He opened th' barn dore an' stood wif his 10 gauge leveled at mah naked ass pumpin' up an' down like an oil well into th' lovely Lulamai.

Well Lulamai talked her Pappy into not blowin' off mah pecker wif 00 shot. He tied me up on over a beam in th' barn by mah han's an' lef' me hangin' thar th' ress of th' night, barn dore open, while he dragged th' still naked Lulamai back inside. Come mo'nin' ah sar a pickup roll up. Turns out it was McDaniels' ol splinster Aunt, Aunt Minnie. McDaniels talked t'Aunt Minnie jest outta mah hearin', but he kepp pointin' t'me an' was furious. Aunt Minnie had McDaniels carry two trimenjus heavy black cases outta her truck an' lug them out into th' fields. She then had him untie th' rope fum th' beam, while she held th' 10-gauge on me an' he drug me out t'th' fields, droppin' me in th' dirt an' then drivin' in stakes an' tyin' me face up an' spread eagled naked on th' groun'.

Aunt Minnie gave him back th' shotgun an' shooed him into th' house an' told him t'keep Lulamai away fum th' windows.

Aunt Minnie was an homely old hag an' mean as a snake. She opened one trunk an' got out a li'l iron pot an' brazier. She started a fire an' then added in'redients fum th' second trunk.

Then she ripped off all her clo'es an' man was she homely, but ah c'dn't look away. She kepp dancin' aroun', her old saggy tits flappin' aroun'. Jest a'rantin' an' howlin' in some fo'eign language, ah reckon it was French. A yeller smoke started raisin' fum th' pot an' snaked on over t'me, like it was alive.

She'n then threw herse'f down on me an' started grindin' her pussy on mah crotch. She was homely as a pig's butt, but pussy is pussy an' quickly got hard as steel, ah reckon. Next thin' ah knowed she jumped up an' slid down on mah cock, jest a jumpin' an' grindin'. Mah balls started boilin' an' befo'e ah knowed it, ah let out a deep howl an' came.

Then sumpin went blindin'ly bright an' th' next thin' ah know, ah's in a pumpkin.

Somehow mah mind jest knowed ah was in a pumpkin. ah had no body. ah was jest oily yeller smoke in a stinkin pumpkin. Shiit.

Aunt Minnie had turned me into Gin, as enny fool kin plainly see." Corny stopped and chugged the bottle.

"You mean a Djinn?", I corrected.

"Thet's whut ah said, cuss it all t' tarnation. Y'know thet British hooch, Gin. An' ah had magical powers, but c'dn't use them t'save mah sweet ass. ah had t'wait until someone released me befo'e th' powers wawked.

So yo' cut into th' pumpkin today an' hyar ah's am. By th' way, whar is hyar? An' who is yo'?"

"My names David Prince and this is my house in Los Angeles."

"Califo'nia?? Holleewood? Damn. Less us go fuck us some ackresses wif trimenjus titties." Corny smiled. Then he leaned towards me and asked in a hopeful voice, "Do yo' knows Scarlett Johanson?"

I shook my head. "So you went into that pumpkin in June and just came out on today, on Halloween when I cut it open?"

"Today's Hallerween? Sweet. Oh by th' way, on account o' yo' let me out ah can grant yer ev'ry wish now."

"You Can???" My eyes got wide. "You were in that pumpkin and since I let you out you can do magic?

"Yessirree Bob." "Phenomal Cosmic Powers...itty bitty living space." "Shiiit ah liked that movie."

"Ok. Ok. Let me think." My mental wheels were going a mile a minute. "First of all I wish for an invitation to the sexiest Halloween Party in Los Angeles."

"Kin ah git nother tittie beer fust? ah gotta warsh thet nasty pumpkin taste outta mah mouth."

I got him another tittie..I mean a St Paulie Girl. He took a swig and then the doorbell rang.

I ran out to see who it was so that I can get back to Corny and let him do the magic. It was the FedEx Guy with an envelope. I had to sign for it. I opened it up and there on heavy orange stock paper, in beautiful calligraphy was an invitation for to the Halloween Party at the Playboy Mansion starting at 9:00PM, tonight.

I ran back into the kitchen.

"This is great Corny. I am going to the wildest Halloween Party on Earth. But wait, I can't go looking like this." I pointed at my scrawny 5'7" frame and bland features.

"I wish I looked like a movie star, tall, dark wavy hair, dazzling smile, icy blue eyes and ripped swimmers build."

I looked at Corny, but nothing happened. He glanced over to the fridge. I ran to get him a beer, and as he took the first swig, suddenly the room started to spin and I got dizzy. I caught myself on the table before I fell and then suddenly the room stopped spinning. I looked at my self in the microwave door. It couldn't be. I ran to the mirror in the bath and WOW. A 6'2" stud looked back at me. Picture Bradley Cooper but a little more innocent looking. Holy Shit. My clothes were gone. They wouldn't have fit anyway. Man was I ripped. I even had those muscle creases that look like an arrow pointing down to my cock. WOW.

I ran back to the kitchen, stopping at the fridge for another beer. I thought hard. I had the body for the girls now I needed some optional equipment upgrades.

"Corny, I wish for a bigger cock. 8.. no 9 .. no 10 inches and thick, maybe with a little curl upwards." I handed him the beer but he didn't drink it.

"Turn aroun' facin' away fum me." He motioned with his bottle for me to do it.

"Why, Corny?"

"On account o' ah doesn't be hankerin' t'see yer pecker. Geez whut is it wif yo' Califo'nians?"

So I turned around and heard him swallow, then I felt a tingling down there. I looked down. Holy cow. It must be 8" flaccid. I wonder what it looks like with a hardon. I started to reach for it, but remembered I had company, so I ran upstairs for clothes. I went to my bedroom and tried to find something to fit my big new hot bod. I got some sweatpants and a oversized LA Kings jersey on, plus sandals that almost fit. I went back downstairs to Corny with another beer in hand.

I knew I still couldn't get women, because I was shy. Handing him the beer I said, "OK Corny, now I wish to be confident and smooth with the ladies."

"No Can do", he stated flatly.

"What? I NEED to be confident.", I moaned.

"Hey yo' already gotcher 3 wishes."

"3 wishes?" I screamed. "You said my every wish, not just 3."

"Ah meant yer enny wish, besides ev'rybody knows yo' jest git 3. Didn't yo' see th' movie?"

I was dumbstruck, but hey I still was hot, ripped and hung.

Corny got to his feet, "Come on cousin we gotta git costumes fo' th' party?

I just stood there. "WE???"

"Look at th' invitashun son. As enny fool kin plainly see it says David Prince an' Guest. Who yo' gonna take ta th' Playboy Manshun, some lame ass ol'galfriend? Thet's like takin' tofu t'a barbeque. Shiit, son, ah's yer guest. Now whar's yer car?"

I motioned to the front door. "It's the red one outside on the driveway."

Corny ran out the door, I grabbed wallet and keys and ran after him.

Outside I saw Corny had stopped in his tracks, staring at my car. "Wal hell's bells. Yo've got a Ferrari?"

"Yep". I grinned. Even if I can't BE a player I thought, doesn't mean I can't drive like one.

Corny went up to the car slowly and reverently stroked the smooth curves of the body.

"My lord this is sweet. A Ferrari 458 Speciale Aperta. 4.5 liter V8 with 570 horsepower. 0-60 in 2.9 seconds seven-speed dual-clutch electronic differential." Corny spoke in hushed, reverent tones.

I stared at Corny, dumbstruck. "You know Ferraris?"

"Damm Yankees. Yo' reckon yer shit dont stink an' ennyone fum th' South is dummer than a box of rocks. You are so parochial. Now getcher jaw off th' groun' an' throw me th' keys. ah's drivin'!"

I threw him the keys and he hopped in the convertible without opening the door. I got in and he burned rubber out the drive.

"Ah cain't believe it. A Ferrari. Cuss it all t' tarnation it's even red, ROLL TIDE." Corny beamed. "We is a-gonna git laid tonight!"

===

I Yelp'd the biggest Theater Costuming shop in LA and gave Corny directions, it was in Burbank. He blasted through traffic, zigging and zagging. I started to wonder if a Djinn could be killed in a traffic accident or was it just going to be me. We made it to the store, parked in front of their big glass entrance windows and went in. There were a no other last-minute shoppers in the store as it was almost 7PM and most people were already on their way to parties. Two attractive girls were at the front counter, a tall auburn haired girl and a short busty blond. They watched us enter. Both had on very tight referees shirts with small black shorts and tennis shoes. That must have been the uniform for this store. Both referee shirts were unbuttoned very low. The blond had a whistle on a lanyard that swung in the ample valley between her breasts. Their eyes seemed wide as we approached the counter. I think they saw us get out of the Ferrari.

"Mah cousin an' ah need costumes fo' th' party at th' Playboy Manshun, " stated Corny with a confident smile at the girls.

"Wow, you are going to need something super sexy then", said the tall one. They both came out from behind the counter. The tall auburn haired girl grabbed Corny's arm and led him off to the back talking about costume ideas. The blond looked at me.

"Hi, my name is Becky", the blond purred as she bounced over, pointing to the name tag on her referee jersey. I tried (and failed) to not stare at the whistle swinging between her huge tits.

"Let's see what you look like.", she chirped happily.

With that she tried to yank my jersey over my head but I was too tall so she just succeeded in grinding her chest into my abs. I bent over and she finally got it off.

"Wow. You want a costume to show off that body. I have just the thing."

She grabbed my hand and started pulling me to the far corner of the store. I saw Corny and the other girl head to one of the two dressing rooms with a few costumes on hangers.

Becky led me to a leather costume. It looked like it was from a spartan warrior movie. A leather skirt that had separate overlapping panels for pleats and was attached with a broad leather belt. A red cape that attached with underarm leather bands. And wide leather bracers for my arms, leather greaves for my legs, plus roman-looking sandals and a sword and leather scabbard.

From the closed fitting room there came a woman's voice. "Oohh. Oohh. Yesss. Right there."

The sounds went on and on, getting louder.

Hearing those, Becky glanced back at me and grabbed the costume and started to briskly walk to the fitting rooms. I was still a little shell-shocked from all the changes and just stood there.

Becky came back a grabbed my hand, pulling me to start moving to the fitting rooms.

"C'mon, let's see what you look like in this."

There were two fitting rooms with a full door on each. One was closed with moans and groans coming from behind the door. Becky lead me to the other one.

She handed me the costume. I stepped in and hung the costume on the hook on the back wall. I turned to the door and was surprised that Becky followed me in and closed it.

"OK. Let see how that cape looks."

Becky grabbed the cape off the hanger and stood in front of me and began draping the cape on my shoulders. Her arms were short so she had to step in close and reach up behind my neck with both hands. She paused in this position and crushed her large breasts against my bare chest while grinding against me.

"Isn't shopping fun!" she purred.

She connected the two ends of the cape under my chin. She took one of the two leather straps dangling from the front shoulders of the cape and had me turn around facing away. It was difficult in that little room. She gathered my cape up.

"Here grab this and hold it over your head until I get the straps connected in the back."

I extended my arms up and over my head, holding the bunched up cape while she ran the two straps under my arms and connected them to the cape in the back. When she finished, she slowly ran her nails down my back tracing the muscles. I gulped and started to sweat.

Just then the moaning from the fitting room next to us got a lot louder and you could start to hear bodies pounding against the common wall in sync with the moans.

"Oh Fuck Me... Harder, harder... FUCK MEEE CORNEEEEEEE...

Becky looked at the pounding wall and then back at me and smiled.

She picked up the leather bracers, backed me against the back wall and stood in front of me.

"Straighten your right arm in front of you." Becky commanded with a smile.

I did so in the air over her left shoulder. She grabbed my hand and placed it on her breast. This was the first tit I ever had in my hand. It was soft and warm. I tried not to squeeze. I really did. My large hand was touching shirt and skin. She looked me in the eye and smiled. She then put the bracer on my forearm and buckled the three straps, leaving my hand on her warm skin.

"How does that feel? Good??" She grinned playfully.

She took that arm off her tit and repeated with the left arm, my left hand on her other tit. I felt flush. She finished and I slowly dropped my arm.

She grabbed the leather skirt, or whatever Greek warriors called their skirts, and from my front strapped it around my waist over my sweatpants. The belt buckled in the back so she stretched her arms around me hugging my waist. Her breath was hot on my abs. I felt a stirring, but it started much farther down my leg that I was used to.

The banging next door got real loud and there were loud screams.

"Fuck Me. Fuck Me. OH GOD, CORNEEEE..."

And then they stopped.

I heard Corny say "I've got mah costume cousin, I'll be back in th' car when yo' finish up in hyar. "

A girl giggled and I heard them open the door and walk away.

My attention was on next door when Becky surprised me by dropping to her knees and yanking down my sweatpants to my ankles.

"OK. Now lets get those greaves on".

I froze. Her head was right at the bottom fringe of the leather skirt. She lifted each leg and took off my sweats and footwear. My dick was starting to get fuller and longer.

Becky attached a greave around each leg, her concentration downward. I noticed Becky's mouth was slightly open and about the right height. Oh shit. It got a lot warmer in here real fast, especially under my skirt. I was at full extension, but Becky hadn't seen it.