Couples Counseling Ch. 02

Dr. Kim told me to turn away from Gary and get on my hands and knees. I guessed at the time that she was orchestrating things in such a way that Gary could cling to the image of me as a ... what had he agreed to ... attractive, sexy woman. Doggy-style fucking would keep my unlady-like parts out of view.

I was on my hands and knees, presenting myself like a bitch in heat, ready to be mounted. Gary didn't waste any time. In only the amount of time necessary to put on a condom (which, no doubt, Dr. Kim had thoughtfully provided), I felt Gary gently pulling my ass cheeks apart and lining up his cock with my ravenous asshole.

God, I wanted him! All the more so because I could feel how much he wanted me. When he'd lined up and pressed just the tip of his cock part way in, I felt both of his hands on my hips, holding them tightly through my garter belt, so that he could control his entry.

He pushed in gently, but forcefully. I was so eager to feel him fill my cunt (as I thought of it) that I would have forgiven any pain he caused me by moving too quickly. But it was nice that he was trying to be considerate.

Soon, he was all the way in and I felt a sense of satisfaction sweep over me. I felt aglow and again I moaned audibly with pleasure.

Gary began to fuck me. I could tell that he had to resist the urge to thrust wildly right from the beginning. But I think, like me, he wanted this to last for a while. As he fucked me so wonderfully, I felt my own cock harden till it was slapping against my stomach. This surprised me. I was never a quick repeater, certainly not since my teenage years. But, tonight was exceptional in many ways, I realized.

And then something happened that I couldn't understand at first. Dr. Kim was standing right next to us, her legs touching my side. I could feel Gary twisting to the side and for a few moments, horribly, his rhythm was interrupted. I tried to twist around enough to see what was happening, but to no avail. Gary was holding my hips too tightly.

Fortunately, he settled back into a good fucking pace and I sort of forgot about what might be going on behind by back (or above it, really). As long as it didn't interfere with Gary's and my fucking, I decided it was okay with me no matter what it was.

It's really hard to gauge time when you're fucking, I think, and I certainly wasn't watching the clock. I'd guess, though, that Gary fucked me for a good ten minutes before he started building up to his orgasm. Well, not really a *good* ten minutes. A *great, fantastic, marvelous* ten minutes. I tried slightly different postures—sometimes with my head down, sometimes with my back arched more or less—to change the angle of attack. I didn't find any angles that were bad and I found a lot that were terrific.

When it was obvious that Gary was about to cum, I was pushing back on to him like a fanatic—well, exactly like one, I guess—and clenching my asshole to intensify his orgasm. And just as Gary was starting to explode, I could feel Dr. Kim's legs stiffen next to me and I felt her leaning in even more toward us.

It was distracting. What was going on up there? Had she been forcing Gary's mouth on her clitoris while we'd been fucking? Was he bringing her to an orgasm with his mouth at exactly the same time he had his orgasm deep in my bowels? It turned out I was half right.

The distraction wasn't enough to keep me from enjoying the feeling of Gary erupting in my ass. He held my hips hard up against his crotch as he pumped out his cum.

I didn't cum from getting fucked in the ass the way you hear about sometimes in porn. Still, the whole thing was very satisfying to me. When Gary backed out of me and released my hips, I collapsed onto the carpet, a very contented girl.

As soon as I'd gathered my wits, I rolled over. I wasn't trying to see what had been going on between Gary and Dr. Kim. The rosy glow of my satisfaction kind of pushed that to the back of my mind. No, what I was trying to see was Gary's face. I felt as if I'd caused him great pleasure and I wanted to see the evidence of my success in his satisfied smile.

Instead, when I saw his face I was stunned. That's not a strong enough word but I don't know how to describe my state of mind. How do you describe the shock of your whole sense of reality being turned upside down?

Gary did look very satisfied. But what I couldn't wrap my mind around was the fact that just slipping out of his mouth was Dr. Kim's cock! That's right, *her cock*! And dripping from the side of Gary's mouth was some of Dr. Kim's cum.

I guess you can't say "her cock" and "her cum," can you? So I don't know how to talk about it. But what I saw was Dr. Kim, stripped down to her (okay, I'll say "her"—it's too hard to shift my perspective on a dime) bra and panties. Her bra was filled with natural breasts. No breast forms there. I'd seen the tops of those breasts as gentle swells when she'd worn low-cut tops. But sticking out of the side of her white panties was a softening, but still full, cock.

As her cock pulled away from Gary's lips, a string of semen continued to connect them until it finally broke and dribbled down onto my abdomen.

Gary had just had an enormous orgasm—the proof of which was in the stretched tip of the condom still wrapped around his own softening cock. But, mixed with the pleasure on his face, I saw discomfort. Gary, who I know had never had a cock in his mouth (we'd talked about that), had just sucked a big cock and had his mouth filled with cum.

I was having trouble wrapping my mind around this scene. Intellectually, it was easy enough. Dr. Kim was transsexual. I got that. And I'd seen videos of transsexuals—especially Asian ladyboys—who were absolutely convincing as women. I had all the background to realize that this could be possible but, still, it seemed completely impossible.

Apart from the shock of having to rethink my reality, I was increasingly concerned about how this was going to play out. Had Dr. Kim miscalculated? I suspected so. I worried that Gary would be disgusted by what he'd done and wouldn't want to have any part of me from now on because it would always remind him of the time he sucked cock.

As it turned out, my worries were misplaced.

After a rather long silence, during which each of us recovered a little and got dressed, Dr. Kim told us to sit down so we could talk about what had happened and where go from here. Gary and I sat on the couch, across the coffee table from Dr. Kim—Gary in his slacks and shirt and me in my dress. I realized as I sat there that the clothing affected the way I sat and moved and even the way I felt.

"So, you two," Dr. Kim began, "how did you feel about that?"

Gary and I started to speak at the same time, then we both paused to let the other speak, then we both started again. We laughed together, looking at each other as we did.

"Never mind. I know how you felt about it. I just wanted each of you to think about it." Dr. Kim paused to let us reflect on our feelings for a moment, then went on with her diagnosis and prescription.

"You see, the two of you had two relationships: one that was working fine for both of you and one that wasn't. And the dysfunctional one was bleeding over into the good one—threatening to destroy it." That sounded right to me and I hoped it did to Gary, too.

"You were both comfortable with your 'buddies with benefits' relationship. You both got different things from it, and I suspect that Gary didn't, and maybe still doesn't, understand what you got from it, Rick ... Erica. But it doesn't matter that a relationship isn't providing the same benefits for each person. A good, strong, equal relationship can exist when you're equally meeting each other's needs, even if those needs are very different."

"But when you tried to take your relationship to the next level, Gary wasn't comfortable with that. A buddy who sucked him off was okay with him—pretty great really. Right, Gary?" Gary nodded awkwardly. He seemed uncomfortable with where this might be going. Maybe he saw a criticism coming. If so, he was wrong. Dr. Kim wasn't trying to judge, just to understand and explain things to us.

"You see, Gary has a very strong self-image as a strictly heterosexual man." It occurred to me that I should protest that I always thought of myself in the same way, but I realized how ridiculous that would seem coming from me now, especially given my attire.

"Getting sucked off by another guy didn't do any violence to that self-image. He was just an alpha dog—the dominant guy who gets his sexual needs taken care of by those lower on the pecking order." I didn't like the analysis much, but I didn't see how I could argue with it. It had the ring of truth as Dr. Kim said it and I wondered why I hadn't thought of it this way before.

"But fucking ... ah, fucking was a whole 'nother thing. It called for him to be more active, more the initiator and aggressor." I wasn't sure that Dr. Kim was nailing it here. Gary had seemed pretty active and aggressive when he'd come over for blow jobs. She sensed my skepticism and explained: "I don't mean that he wasn't calling the shots then. What I mean is that he was prodding ... requesting, demanding, whatever ... *you* to do something. With anal sex, it was different. At least, it felt different to Gary."

I could see Gary nodding slightly, as if he was just coming to recognize what he'd been feeling.

"But this role provoked feelings that challenged his self-image. Do you understand what cognitive dissonance is?" We both nodded. That was a piece of psychological jargon that had seeped out of professional circles.

"Well, Gary was feeling it big time, even if he didn't deal with it consciously. He was a heterosexual man ... heterosexual men don't desire to fuck other men's bodies ... but he wanted to fuck your body, Rick." Now I think Gary and I both blushed, and both from the now open acknowledgment of the same fact: Gary wanted to fuck me.

"The cognitive dissonance caused Gary to be cruel toward you—you who were the occasion for him to experience that dissonance. By being dismissive, indifferent, even a little cruel to you, he could distance himself from the feelings that threatened his self-conception and reassert his masculinity."

"So, tonight," Dr. Kim continued, "we removed the threat to Gary's self-image. He could see you as Erica, a very attractive, sexy woman. And, what happened?"

She paused and for a moment I thought she hadn't intended the question rhetorically. But then she went on. "I'll tell you what happened. Gary was suddenly free to make love to you as he wanted to without feeling as if his masculinity was compromised. And he did. And he loved it. You both loved it, didn't you?"

We didn't need to answer that question, but I needed to ask one.

"But, Dr. Kim," I began, not sure how to frame my question.

"Yes?" She wasn't going to give me any help it seemed.

"What was ... I mean, what were you ... I mean ..."

Finally, after I'd stammered for a bit, Dr. Kim came to my aid. "What was the point of what I was doing with Gary?"

"Yes. And ..." I was still kind of speechless.

"And what, Erica? Why do I have a penis?" Dr. Kim laughed. "I don't think I have to answer that for you. You just have to come to grips with the fact that I'm not exactly the person you assumed I was. The fact that neither of you suspected that I was anything but a natural woman was vital to my plan."

Well, she had my attention now. I looked over at Gary, who was clearly feeling uncomfortable now that we were beginning to talk about his first cock-sucking experience.

"In all the times you guys were just doing oral sex, Gary never reciprocated. From what I've told you already, it's obvious why. He couldn't have squared that with his heterosexual self-image. But, if you're going to have an intimate relationship ... if you're going to be making love to each other, as I know you both want to ... Gary's going to need to satisfy you sexually, too. It's not enough that all of your satisfaction comes from pleasing him. That's not the foundation of a strong relationship."

That seemed right to me but I hadn't ever let myself seriously consider the prospect of Gary reciprocating. It seemed impossible and, so, I couldn't let myself acknowledge how much I wanted it.

"What I needed to teach Gary is that oral sex with a woman, even if her genitalia are a bit larger than normal, isn't a threat to his masculinity. What better way to do it than to present him with opportunity to perform oral sex on someone he thought of as an attractive woman? And what better time to do it than exactly when he's engaged in the uniquely masculine act of fucking another 'woman'?"

There was a little irony there because, of course, the "woman" Gary was fucking wasn't a woman at all. But I thought I got it. The point was, apparently, that he could conceptualize what he was doing as fucking a woman.

"Gary was leery at first, though I'm not really sure whether it was reluctance or just astonishment about what I had in my panties." She paused and looked at Gary. "Maybe a little of both."

"But as things progressed, I could tell that Gary was dealing with it okay." Gary made a sound as if to begin to protest but Dr. Kim cut him off.

"Now Gary," she said peremptorily, "don't go there. Or should I say, don't go *back* there. You learned something tonight. Don't forget it."

Whatever Gary was planning to say never got said. He seemed to accept what the good doctor was serving. It struck me then that Dr. Kim might be especially well-qualified for her job. She understood both men and women extraordinarily well.

I was still a little foggy about where we were going from here. "So, where are we now?" I said tentatively. "Am I supposed to be a crossdresser from now on?"

"Where the two of you will go is up to you," Dr. Kim said, unhelpfully. Fortunately, that wasn't all she said. "Your relationship could develop in many different ways that are equally wonderful and exciting. That's for you to discover together. My job was go put you on a path where you could do that."

"But I do have a suggestion for how to start off on that path." Gary and I were all ears.

"First, don't try to move too quickly to change things. I told you that you had two relationships: Gary and Rick, and Gary and Erica. They can both be good now, I think. I'd suggest that for now, and for as long as it's good for both of you, you continue to have your "buddies with benefits" relationship. You don't have to lock it in; it can change over time. But it's worked for both of you and it's not hurting anyone so, I say, go for it."

"You should explore your Gary/Erica relationship. I think you'll both find it exciting and rewarding. But, Erica, when you do this—at least for now—you need to be Erica, not Rick. This will not only make Gary more comfortable but, as you learned tonight, it will make it more exciting for you."

"And Gary." Dr. Kim looked at him closely and paused for an uncomfortably long time. "Gary, you really need to take care of Erica, too. Bringing his lover to an orgasm with his mouth can be an extremely erotic experience for a guy, right? ... as you learned tonight."

I'm happy to say that Gary and I nurtured both of our relationships. We continued the "buddies with benefits" thing as before, but I was always Erica when we engaged in intimacy beyond oral sex. I explored the novel excitements that were available to me *en femme*. And Gary let himself relax to the point where he could enjoy our relationship without dealing with any internal demons. He treated me well and he did learn the erotic pleasures of giving your lover an orgasm, even if (maybe, especially when) her genitalia are larger than normal. I certainly learned the erotic pleasures of experiencing those orgasms.