Cricket Anyone? India's 2nd Innings

"You girls right?" he asked, looking at the time. They nodded and said they were fine. "No wor... Ok, I'll go home and get changed. See you back here in a couple of hours."

Madiha sauntered over to Russ and draped her arms over his shoulders. "No worries, see you soon," she said and kissed him.

"Now you're just taking the piss. See you at seven. Bye Neha." Russ kissed Madiha back and waved to Neha as he left.

"He is nice, isn't he?" said Neha.

"Yes. Yes, he is."

"And what are you going to do? You know, you have to go home in a few weeks."

"I really don't know," Madiha said sadly.

=====

Russ pulled up outside Madiha's building just before seven and blinked in surprise. The two women were waiting for him, but what he didn't expect was they were dressed identically. Short denim skirts, the same off the shoulder shirt Madi wore on their first date - different colours though, black bra, and sandals. Even their hair was styled the same. Long, loosely hanging with a slight wave. The only real difference in their appearance was in the jewellery they were wearing.

"Evening ladies," he said. He got out and opened the doors for girls, who giggled at his chivalrous act. "Just a question though. Why are you dressed the same?"

"We're twinning. It's what good friends do," Neha chirped.

"Oh, ok. Twinning - fair enough. I'll take your word for it," Russ said, shaking his head as he got into the driver's seat. "I need to get out more."

He headed off towards Lygon Street, with Neha looking wide-eyed out of the side window. Russ guessed Neha was trying to figure out where all the people were like Madi had on the exact same trip when she first arrived.

"Everyone's gone to the beach, Neha. Too nice a day to be hanging around the city."

Neha looked back at him, "How did you know I was wondering where everyone was?"

Russ chuckled, "Just a wild guess. Madi was the same. Nothing like Bangalore apparently."

"Or Chennai," replied Neha. "It's nice. I like it. I don't like being squashed in."

Madiha burst out giggling. "Ya, you don't like being squashed. Since when?"

"Oh, you know what I mean. Yoga in the early morning. Calm, no one around. Sometimes I miss Shrek's apartment. It was nice and peaceful. I must have a thousand vehicles a minute going past my front door now."

"Seriously? I hate the traffic. Dockland's bad enough, but at least I don't have much of a commute to the office." Russ said as he searched for a car park close to the restaurant. He gave up and ducked down a side street. "This'll have to do. Jake, the guy I work with, will meet us at Joe's pizza place."

"So, what's Jake like? Have you met him?" Neha asked, turning to Madiha.

"Once. He's British, tall and black. I didn't really talk to him."

"Oooo, a black guy. That could be fun. I've never had a black guy. I'm jealous of you, you know. You've had all sorts of cocks, and I've only had local ones. I need some variety."

"Oh God, Neha! Please..."

"Oh ya. Sorry. I'm a bit excited." She caught up to a bemused Russ and put her arm around his waist, "Please, don't listen to what I say. I'm just an Indian version of a blond..."

"Oh, I think you're plenty smart Neha. I suspect you know exactly what you're saying and you're just winding up Madi. Trying to get a reaction out of her," he said smiling when Neha raised a finger hesitantly.

"You guessed. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't."

"Saali kutiya! Really? You bloody bitch Neha!" exclaimed Madi, translating for Russ.

Neha poked her tongue out at her friend and skipped away from the hand that was aimed at her arse.

"Ok you two. Break. Back to your corners and when I whistle, come out wrestling. Shame there's no jelly around," he said laughing and jumped from the girl's swinging arms. "Missed. Umm, truce? I can see Jake outside the restaurant."

Neha craned her head to look in the direction Russ was pointing. One guy fitted the description but she was disappointed to see he was flicking the screen of his phone with his thumb. 'Oh behenchod, he's a Tinder nut. Cute though.' she thought.

Jake was engrossed in Tinder. He wasn't sure about this blind date with an unknown Indian bird and figured having a Plan 'B', 'C' and 'D' for the night was a good idea.

Russ quietly stepped up behind him and yelled, "Oi! Jake!" which nearly caused him to drop the phone.

"Seriously man? This is my phone, not works. I care if this one breaks. Oh, hi Madiha. And I guess you're Neha then?" Jake slipped his phone into his pocket and stepped forward to shake her hand. He thought Russ was right. Neha did look pretty good. A bit shorter and slimmer than he liked. And Indian. He wasn't sure about that. He'd come from Birmingham, which had a decent sized Indian community who mostly kept to themselves. Interracial mingling like on Doctor Who or Eastenders really didn't happen, but he was happy to fuck any bird as long as they were half sexy. And if something better didn't come along.

"Ya, and you are Jake? Nice to meet you." Neha critically looked at her blind date. Jake was nearly as tall as Russ, but not as solid. Shaved head, brown eyes that constantly darted around, a nice smile but disappointingly, no sign of anything interesting in his tight pants.

"Yeah, that's me. Welcome to the land of convicts, killer snakes, spiders, and fizzy beer. So you're only here for a short time? Oh, excuse me..." Jake wandered off to answer his phone. "Oh, hi. Look I'm busy at the moment. I may be free a bit later. Gotta go. No, really."

Neha raised an eyebrow at Madiha, who gave a slight shrug of her shoulders.

Russ looked at Jake who had started talking on the phone again, them at Neha. Sighing, he said, "Well, let's go inside. I need a beer. He can catch up."

They walked inside and Joe, the owner, came out from behind the bar to greet them. Neha tried to suppress a giggle. Joe was short, round, and had a huge moustache. He reminded her of someone, but she couldn't quite figure out who.

"Hi Madi, Russ. Good to see you again. And who's your gorgeous friend? Rusty, you should be banned for having two cute women hanging out with you!"

Madi laughed. Joe's pizza was the first place in Australia she'd had dinner, and they'd been back weekly ever since. "G'day Joe, this is my friend Neha. She's flown in today from India, so we thought your restaurant would be the ideal introduction to Italian - Australian cuisine."

Joe grinned at the compliment, "Well, no worries. We do our best. So who's the fourth?" he asked.

"Jake from work. He's just outside."

Joe looked out and spotted Jake, still on the phone. "Oh, right. Ok. Mmm. Yeah, he's been here before." he said, turning to Neha, "Blind date I'm assuming?"

Neha nodded.

"Fair enough. He's an... interesting guy. Anyway, let's get you seated." He led them to a table by the window and pulled out the chairs for the two girls. "Ladies. Have a look at the menu, and I'll be back in a tick to get your orders."

Neha watched Joe slowly walk back to the bar, chatting with other customers as he went. She leaned forward and said to Russ over the noise of the happy diners, "I like him. He reminds me of Mario from the game. You know, the plumber in red chasing the monkey?"

Russ laughed, "I know who you mean. Mario and Donkey Kong. Yep, I can see that. Hey Jake, whatcha drinking?"

Jake slipped onto the chair beside Neha and put his phone face up on the table. "A pint of Old thanks. Sorry, business never stops." With that, his phone buzzed. He quickly picked it up, glanced at the message and swiped it away.

Neha noticed the Whatsapp icon that was quickly brushed away, pursed her lips and shot a withering glance at Madiha.

Madi had seen what Jake was looking at and gave Neha a small smile. "Check out the menu. I've tried all sorts of pizzas here, and they're really good. And have a beer with it."

"Ya, that sounds good," Neha replied and picked up the menu. Out of the corner of her eye, she watched Jake. He may have been a friend of Russell, but she wasn't sure about him. He had barely spoken a word to her, his eyes were everywhere and was constantly fidgeting with his phone. Neha had the distinct impression he really wanted to be somewhere else. She looked back at the menu and thought that Jake better have a really big dick to make up for being one.

Russ caught the glance between the two women, tapped Jake on the ankle with his foot and slightly tilted his head towards Neha.

"Oh, yeah. So Neha, you've just flown in today? How long are you here for?"

Russ breathed a sigh of relief as Jake and Neha started making awkward small talk. Madi reached under the table and squeezed his knee appreciatively. "Nice work," she murmured, her words lost to the other two in the din of the busy restaurant.

Russ grinned and squeezed her knee back, then started running his hand up the inside of her leg. Madiha firmly grabbed his hand and put it back on his leg. "Spoilsport," he whispered.

"Maybe later. If these two go clubbing together," she whispered back.

Joe came back to take their orders, then wandered back to his position behind the bar. Neha leaned over to Jake and asked, "What's Old?"

He looked back with a grin on his face. "Well, I guess you wouldn't know. Tooheys Old. It's a dark bitter beer, nearly a stout. You know stout?"

Neha nodded. "Like Guinness? Nobody drinks that at home. Too heavy."

"Don't tell me, you prefer the lagers?" laughed Jake. "A lot of those in Australia. I had a few Kingfishers in the local curry houses in Brum. A bit better than Yankee beer, but still shit."

"I happen to like it. I don't know how anyone could drink that." Neha frostily replied, pointing to the pint of black liquid that a waitress had placed before him. "It looks like molasses."

"Oh, if you tried it I'm sure you'd like it. Getting blacked takes a bit of getting used to. It seems to go on forever," he smirked.

Neha looked at her date as he took a large swallow of the dark brew. He wasn't impressing her at all. She wanted a fun time with a guy who showed some interest in her, and so far he had shown very little. And he had insulted India's most popular beer. She took a sip of her Kingfisher. The comment about getting blacked was also pretty obvious. He fully expected to be fucking her at the end of the night, but he might be disappointed.

An awkward silence had descended over the table broken only by the irregular buzz of notifications hitting Jake's phone. Jake was having a hard time not touching the thing. He was not sure about Neha. Normally women fell over themselves to go out with him and having to hold a conversation wasn't part of his playbook. If his looks didn't get them interested, then he could usually rely on his charming Brummie accent to seal the deal. Neha wasn't following the plan. He took another sip of his drink and half heartedly started trying to chat with his date again. He figured a bird at his side was better than one on an app so he should make some effort.

Madiha was watching the pair talk. She really didn't like Jake, as he had tried to chat her up at their one and only meeting. She hadn't told Russ, but her first impressions were usually pretty accurate. Her impression was this guy was a sleazy bastard. She shrugged inwardly. Neha was a big girl and could look after herself.

A waitress arrived with their meals, which cut short the awkward conversation. Neha inhaled deeply the aroma of her Mexican chicken pizza. It looked and smelt delicious. "You're right Madiha. This is much nicer than Domino's," she said with her mouth half full of pizza. "Do you think Joe would give me his recipe?"

Russ laughed and shook his head. "I doubt it. I've been coming here since I was a kid, and I know he's turned down every single request. I think it's all in the way he cooks them. Joe says a wood-fired oven gives the pizza something special a gas one can't."

They all nodded and ate in silence. Jake took the opportunity to check his phone and sent a few messages off. Neha inhaled deeply and slowly let out her breath. Each icon of the message recipient was either a woman or something feminine.

'Fine,' she thought, 'I don't need a sympathy fuck from someone who doesn't want to be here.' Neha stretched her arms up and yawned loudly. "God, I'm tired. I think the jet lag is catching up with me. And Russ, this pizza is excellent. Good choice."

Joe wandered back to see how they were going. "How's the Mexican, Neha? Spicy enough?"

"It's great. So much better than the pizza I usually get after clubbing. Trying to find something that meets three people's tastes is pretty tough, but I think this would be a favourite of everyone."

Joe furrowed his brow at this remark. "Well, I'm glad you like it. Madiha had pizza on her first night here, Jake's first Melbourne pizza was here, and now you." He looked at Russell and grinned. "I really should have you on commission. Anything else you would like?"

They all shook their heads, and Joe happily wandered off. Jake was intrigued by Neha's comment and asked, "So you like dancing at clubs? What sort of music are you into?"

Neha took a sip of her beer and looked directly at Madiha. "Oh, all sorts. But I don't go for music. I go to meet guys. Or girls. Or sometimes both. Depends on if I think they're sexy." She turned and looked at Jake. "I'm happy to have some fun with nearly anyone, as long as they are interesting. You know how it is. You see that someone across the dance floor and BOOM! You just know you're going home with them. Nothing's going to get in your way. Doesn't matter if you are tired, or ill or whatever."

Jake nodded. 'This is getting interesting,' he thought. 'The night's not going to be a total loss after all.'

"Well then," he said out loud, "if you like dancing, would you like to come out with me after this? I can get into the VIP areas of some of the best clubs in town."

"No thanks. I'm pretty tired and need some sleep."

Madiha had to bite her tongue to stop herself laughing. She had watched Jake puff up like a peacock, then Neha quickly and skilfully plucked all his tail feathers and he just looked deflated. It was obvious he wasn't used to rejection.

"Oh, ok. Maybe another night then?" Jake asked, slightly confused about what had happened.

"Maybe," replied Neha. "I'm staying with my relatives, so I'll have to see what they have planned. Family comes first with us Indians, you know."

"Sure, sure. I understand. Can I give you my number if you are free?"

"No, it's fine. I'll get it off Russell. It's no worries."

Both Russ and Madi snorted at this.

Jake scratched his head and looked at his watch, "Ummm. Well, it is getting late. I'm on call so I'd better get home and catch some sleep. Thanks for the night guys."

With that, he stood up and shook the women's hands, clapped Russ on the shoulder and waved goodbye.

Neha waited until he had stepped outside, then said to Russ. "I'm sorry, but I don't like him. He's very self-centred."

Russ shrugged his shoulders, "I'm sorry too. I don't know that many single guys, and he was the best of them. I didn't realise he'd be such a dick."

"I don't know if he has one," Neha replied. "He didn't seem excited to see me. I thought all black guys had big ones. No sign of that."

"Yeah, well. I dunno what his game is." Russ leaned forward and said in a loud whisper. "I don't know about any other black bloke, but if that's what you were looking for Jake would have disappointed you."

"Oh. Really? How do you know?" asked Neha, curiously.

"I've seen him in the gym showers. Let's just say he talks a big game."

"Hang on. You've seen him naked. At the gym. Why?" asked Neha. This was a bit confusing for her.

"Well, when we're away, you do your workout then hit the showers. We then go out for tea." It was Russ's turn to look confused.

"But are the shower walls glass? How can you see what he looks like? And I thought you would have a beer after work, not tea."

Russ laughed, "Tea, dinner. Same thing. There aren't any walls. It's usually a communal shower, especially in older places. Not sure what it's like over the women's side."

"Wow, I don't think that would happen anywhere at home." said Neha, "I'd love to be in there. Do you think I could dress as a guy and sneak in?"

"Nope, not a hope. You'd need a major haircut and those legs wouldn't fool anyone," laughed Russ, "but I don't think too many guys would complain about you perving on them. Spying on them..."

Joe came back to clean up the empty plates. "Where's your date? Is he coming back?" he asked Neha.

She shrugged. "I don't think so. He left saying he's on-call or something so he needs to sleep. Your pizza made up for his issues. It was great!"

Joe beamed, "Thank you. I'm glad you liked it. As for Jake, don't worry about him. He's a player - regularly comes in with a different girl. Ah well, his loss. You're a lovely lady and I think anyone who goes out with you should feel privileged."

Neha giggled at the compliment, then yawned as Joe bustled away. "He's nice. To be honest, I am getting tired. I really don't think I could go clubbing even if I wanted to."

"Fair enough," said Russ, "but would you like a chocolate pizza or a cup of tea before we go?"

Neha sat upright at the thought of a chocolate pizza, then slouched a bit. "I'd love to try that, but I think I'll have to leave that for another time. I'm also pretty full."

"Righto, let's shoot back to Madi's flat then."

"Yes," chipped in Madiha, "and I'll make some chai. Australian's really can't do anything besides black tea. They do know how to make a good coffee though."

"Oh good," said Neha, "I want you to make sure I've got the right beachwear before we go away this weekend."

They said goodbye to Joe, who tried to extract a promise to return from Neha.

"I'd love to Joe, but I don't know if I'll be back for very long. I'm heading up to Sydney to see, umm, a friend of the family."

"Ah, ok. Well, if it's what I'm thinking I hope you get the result you want. In bocca al lupo! Good luck and safe travels!" Joe said and grasped Neha's hand.

"Thank you. Bye!" She leaned forward and gave him a peck on the cheek, which made him smile broadly.

"You are a lucky man, Russell White. I'll see you later." Joe waved and headed back into the happy crowd.

"Well, that's an earlier night than what I had planned," Russ said, looking at the time on his fitness tracker. He inwardly sighed and cursed Jake. He had been looking forward to watching some cricket on TV with Madi in their usual way - beer and naked spanks on the arse every time a player hit a four or a six. It really livened up the game, but he resigned himself to just being a chauffeur for the night.

Madiha came up to his right and put her arm around his waist. "I know you wanted to watch the BBL tonight in our special way, but can it wait a day?"

Neha skipped up on Russ's left and put her arm around his waist. "You watch cricket together? Cool! You can still watch. I'm happy to just go to bed."

"We'll be on your bed, remember?" Madi said.

"Oh, ya. I forgot. Well, we can all watch on the sofa together for a while. I like cricket."

Russell smiled and nodded as they walked back to his car. "No worries Neha. It's big enough for three to sit on."

"Or maybe we can open it out and lie down on it? I'm sure you two have tried that."

Russ and Madiha looked at each other open-mouthed. "Behenchod! I didn't think of that! God, what a pair of idiots we are." exclaimed Madiha.

"So you two were fucking on that tiny seat or the floor when there was a perfectly good bed right there? That's funny!" giggled Neha.

"Well," said Russ, "We weren't actually worried about comfort."

"You weren't, but I was the one being folded like a pretzel," grumbled Madiha. "And there's not a lot of padding under the carpet."