Crossing the Line

I'd been curious for a while. A long while, actually. For years now, I've wondered what it would be like. I've surfed Literotica, sometimes for group sex stories with a gay component, sometimes for outright gay stories. From time to time I've downloaded gay sample videos and watched one man take another man's cock into his mouth, or his ass, and wrapped my hand around my own cock, wondering what it would be like, to feel it, to taste it, to touch it... to feel it penetrate me, and to use my own cock to penetrate another man.

But, I'd left it a fantasy, something "I might try one day", and indulged in my male-to-male fantasies on occasion.

Tonight, everything changed.

With three instant messaging programs on my computer, MSN, Yahoo and ICQ, I'm approachable from cyberspace in a number of ways. Only ICQ, though, ever produces any "out of the blue" messages, most of them spam.

Tonight, the message on ICQ was different. I popped open the program to see a message waiting for me. "What virus infested website is some computer trying to send me to tonight?" I wondered as I clicked on it.

"Gay or bi? If so, care to have some fun?"

My stomach exploded. Huh??? I checked the details... and there it was. He lived in my town. This wasn't spam. This was a real internet come-on from a flesh and blood gay man who lived in my city. All I had to type was "Bi... and I'd love to", and I could be trying out what I've been fantasizing about for years, I could be feeling another man's cock in my hand while he wrapped his around mine... I could taste another man's lips while I rubbed oozing precum around the head of his cock.

The message hung in the air on my screen. What to say? What to say?

"No thank you, but good luck."

Click, and away it went.

He came back with a very polite "Ok, sorry to bother you, goodnight"... and that was it.

I closed the message, and moved my mouse back up to ICQ, to delete this uninvited man from my messenger.

And I stopped. My stomach curdled and I paused.

Images of all those fantasies, all those stories, pictures and videos I'd ever indulged in, flashed through my mind. My cock was getting hard.

I wanted it. I didn't want it.

But I did.

My hand dragged the mouse back to ICQ, and Dan's name. Almost on its own, it double clicked, and Dan's message popped back up again, waiting for my reply.

The cursor flashed under "Gay or bi? If so, care to have some fun?". I stared at it. My hands resting on the keyboard, my stomach tightening. And I typed...

"Dan, you messaged me earlier. I'm not gay or bi, but I am curious."

And I stopped. Staring at the message, my hand moved to the mouse and rested over the "Send" button.

To click or not to click? I was torn... so many scenerios filled my mind. Is this guy legit? Is it someone I know, playing a gag on me to see what I'd say? The number on the ICQ profile was low, so it was an ancient profile. He'd been using the program for a while.

What to do, what to do...

"Click".

I hit send.

Whether I meant to or my finger twitched, I can't say. But it was gone. I'd just replied to a gay man looking for a man to play with, and I'd told him I was curious. Admitted to a man that I could conceivably meet, and not some anonymous Literotica chat partner, that I was curious about what it would be like to be with a man.

My mouth was dry as I waited, staring at the ICQ window.

Would he reply? Had I blown it? Had my earlier refusal cost me this chance--

The little yellow message icon flashed with his name.

My stomach exploded again like the first time he messaged me. I clicked on the message.

":) Curious about what, John?"

I couldn't help but laugh. He was going to make me say it.

I paused. My hands on the keyboard.... what to type? Something clever? Sexy? Nasty?

"I'm curious about what it's like to be with a man, Dan."

My hand hovered over "Send"... my god, this was ripping my stomach to shreds. But I sent.

After a long minute, his reply came back. "How long have you been curious?"

"A long time..." I typed back, and hit "Send". It was getting easier and easier to respond... though my stomach still fluttered.

He quickly replied: "Since you messaged me back, I can gather you're ready to satisfy that curiosity?"

Was I? The thoughts sprang to mind again of everything I'd seen and fantasized about. "Yes." I typed, and paused over the "Send" key.

I hit it.

And I waited. It seemed like an eternity, with two voices arguing in my head. One shouting "Dude, you don't have to do this... just tell him your roommate was messing with him, and that'll be that".... and the other... the louder voice, saying "Do it... try it... go for it..."

"Would you like to meet?" his reply came back.

Before I could stop myself, I'd typed "Yes.", and had the mouse over the button again. I knew this was it... and I sent it.

"I could pick you up" was his reply.

Danger! Red flag! It didn't take a genius to know this could be major trouble. I knew that. My stomach flipped again. I should tell him we could meet at a coffee shop, somewhere brightly lit, lots of people, just a couple guys having coffee, where we'd sit in some excruciatingly painful growing tension of "how long do we sit here before we finally go do what you're aching to try?".

But... I replied "Yes."

"Where?" he replied.

I stopped. Where indeed. I didn't want to give him my address, though it hardly mattered since he could have looked it up from the details I put in my ICQ profile. "There's a hotel near my place, on the corner of Third and White Street. Do you know it?"

"Yes :D" was his reply.

"Okay. I'll meet you there... when?" I asked... what sort of timetable was he on? God knows whenever it was, I both wanted it never to come, and to come right now!

"I can be there in ten" he replied.

My God, so soon, was the only thing I could think, but "Yes." was my reply.

"Okay, wait for me there. You have your picture in your messages, so I'll know what you'll look like."

"What about you?" I messaged back, but it was too late. He was offline. And on his way.

I have never showered so quickly. In seven minutes, I was getting dressed. In nine minutes, I was out the door, sucking down a couple breath strips. By ten minutes, I was within sight of the hotel parking lot.

Every step of the way, part of my mind kept telling me that I could turn back, go home, forget about this. But at the same time, I knew I couldn't turn back... the fact that I replied to him meant something. Meant I was curious... wanted to know. Had to know.

And when I saw a blue sedan pull up in the parking lot, not parking straight, but over two spots, I knew I was about to know. Whoever was doing that park job wasn't planning on staying long. And then he got out of the car.

I felt my stomach tighten. He was good looking... very handsome, actually. Was he sexy? Yesterday, even earlier today, I would have struggled to say that I didn't rate guys that way. But I let myself tonight... I let myself look at this man in a way I'd never looked before. I let my eyes roam over him as he stood next to the car under the street lamp; from his feet, up his legs, I gazed at that spot where they met, under tight black jeans, and let my mind construct what I knew lay beyond.

Finally, I reached him. He licked his lips and smiled. Those lips... I let myself see them in a way I'd never seen a man's lips before... and as my stomach tightened, I knew... I wanted to taste them. I wanted to feel those lips against mine.

At the same time, I wanted to get out of there... head home, and go back to fantasizing about lips like those... where it's safe.

"Hi John," he said, extending his hand.

Contact.

No turning back from this now. No heading home and jerking off to two men pleasuring each other on the internet. This was real... and I was committed.

"Hi Dan," was all I could muster. He could tell I was nervous... hell, I'm sure the blush I broke into saying his name must have glowed red in the night. I took his hand.

Oh my god... what a handshake. His fingers wrapped around mine, and again, like so many times tonight, my stomach jumped. And he didn't let go. No, instead he took his other hand and placed it over mine. And I didn't try to let go either. I just stood there, smiling, staring into his eyes, feeling his hands engulfing mine.

Finally, he let go. And I was disappointed. I didn't want him to.

"You okay?" he asked with a smile. I nodded. "You sure about this? "

I paused... took a deep breath. Was I sure? Was I ready to cross that line from fantasy into reality?

"Yes."

He smiled, and walked around to the other car door, holding it open for me. "Come on."

I walked past him and paused at the door, looking at him.

"You can turn back, if you're not ready," he said with a smile. He licked his lips again, and stared into my eyes. This was it. Another one of those "now or never" moments.

I got in the car.

He closed the door and walked around to his side while I stood there. "Buckle up," he said with a smile as he started the car. "There are laws about seatbelts, you know," he said with a laugh. I couldn't help but laugh too. I'd forgotten all about my seatbelt. Nearly thirty years of society's training, to wear a seatbelt, and I'd completely forgotten it. Well, I guess it wasn't the only one of society's lessons I was forgetting about tonight.

He pulled out of the parking lot and onto the road. The silence and tension were palpable. Finally, he broke them. "So you've never been with a man? Ever?"

I shook my head. He smiled as he drove.

"I remember my first time too... couple years back. I was soooo scared... was I ready to cross that line? Was I gay? Was I bisexual? Would I not want women anymore? Fuck, my head was a jumble for years." he laughed, taking a drink of water. There was a second bottle by the stick shift, I assumed it was for me. "Help yourself."

And I did. My mouth was so dry, I really couldn't even think of what to say. My stomach was tight, and part of me wanted to tell him to stop the car, and the other part wanted him to just hurry up and get to where we were going.

"And finally, I took the plunge. And man, I haven't regretted it for a minute." He pulled the car off the main road onto a side road, and very quickly pulled into a darkened parking lot overlooking the lake. It was massive, and there was one car parked in the blackness by the trees. He kept driving to another secluded spot at the edge of the trees, pulling the car to a halt, and shutting the engine.

I could only chuckle to myself. I'd come here before. With a girl. Seemed a lifetime ago.

"Been here before?" he asked with a laugh. I nodded, and turned to look at him. He was sitting, with one arm up over the back of the seat, staring at me. "Don't worry, no one ever bugs the people in the cars up here."

"I know," I whispered, taking a drink of water.

He smiled, and reached his other hand up to touch my face. I gasped as I trailed his fingertips along my cheek, and down my neck.

"Relax," he whispered, and leaned in slowly. I thought he was leaning in for a kiss, and suddenly, I didn't know what to do. So I just froze, and he gently pressed his lips against my neck.

Oh my god. They were so soft, and warm, and wet.

He kissed me. On my neck. Slowly at first, chaste kisses with his lips. I felt the heat and wetness of his breath on my skin. I couldn't help but moan, and I actually closed my eyes and opened my neck to him.

That must have been some sort of signal, cause it was then that I felt his tongue joining his lips on my neck. Kissing, gently licking... his hot breath rolling over my wet flesh. It felt so good. He kissed, licked and gently sucked on my skin, his hand coming up to caress my cheek again. I felt myself nuzzling his hand, moaning gently.

His kisses slowly moved higher. Up to my jawline. I heard and felt every wet smack on my flesh. What was I to do? Was I to turn my head and kiss him? Just enjoy this? Before I could do anything, he made the decision for me.

He kept kissing, this time, back along my jaw... up my cheek a bit... until I felt his hot, wet breath in my ear. He was breathing heavy. When he smacked his lips together, I felt it, and my belly flipped. His wet lips suckled my earlobe, and his tongue circled the entire ear, and I heard and felt his breathing, and the wetness of his tongue. Oh, that tongue. I wanted it.

"John?" he whispered softly in my ear, pulling me out of the daze I'd been slipping into.

"Uh huh?" I gasped.

"I'm not going to push you," he whispered, his wet lips gently kissing my ear, and his tongue probing into it. He kissed my ear again, and whispered "but what happens next is up to you. When you want to kiss me..." he planted his mouth on my ear again.

Oh, I wanted to. I don't think I've ever wanted a kiss more in my life. I turned to him, and leaned in. I felt his breath on my lips before his touched mine.

And then they did touch. His wet lips slid across mine, gently. It was electric. Soft, hot, wet, slippery... his lips were all those things and more, and they were pressed against mine as his hand cupped my cheek. I felt his tongue graze my lips, and I wanted it. So bad, I wanted it. My tongue slipped past my lips and past his, sliding against his tongue.

My god, I was in heaven. His stubble scratched at my chin as our lips and tongues slid against each other, our breath mingling and the sweat starting to mist out of our skin. I slithered my tongue into his mouth, exploring it. It felt like my first kiss ever.

He pulled back and looked me in the eyes. "Do you want to get in the back seat?"

I stared at him, and gave him the only answer that came to mind.

I nodded "Yes"...

To be continued...