Cryin' in the Rain

I walked around the block of dorm buildings. Jimmy knew that I lacked his confidence with women. I just didn't understand how my best friend could have embarrassed me that way.

As I walked I waved at several team mates, class mates and others that I knew. After a while, I felt better. When I returned to our building, I noticed that the beat-up car that Jimmy and I shared was gone. I figured that meant that he had taken Sarah back to her dorm. He and I were going to have a talk when he got back.

I walked into our dorm and took off my jacket. I grabbed a bottle of soda and sat down in front of my laptop. I figured I'd play a few rooms of the video game I was working on. Just as I got comfortable, I heard a voice from behind me that shocked the shit out of me.

"So, Dylan, do you really think I'm beautiful?" she asked. I was too shocked to answer. She was lying in my bed under my sheets. "Dylan, let's talk about this," she said.

"Dylan, do you know why I want to do this?" she asked. I shook my head. "First it's a good way to teach Jimmy a lesson without hurting him too badly. Second, I get back at him without having to be a slut about it. I know that you're a gentleman and aren't going to go around bragging or telling anyone about it. However, the real reason is because of what you said." She picked that moment to sit up. I saw her boobs for the first time. They weren't big. And one of them was bigger than the other. But they were the first real tits I had even seen in person.

"Do you remember the part about how your first time should be with someone special, someone you're in love with? Don't laugh but that's the way I felt about it too. And Jimmy was wrong. That special girl would be, if she is as special as you want her to be, perfectly willing to teach you what you need to do. However, since you haven't found her yet, I would love to stand in for her. I would consider it an honor and a privilege to be your first."

And then she pulled me in for a very gentle kiss. I don't remember when my clothes came off, but I remember her gasp when she got me naked. She seemed to love my dick as she played with it. That ended up being my first blowjob. And then she taught me how to return the favor. She showed me what she liked, and she seemed to get a lot of pleasure out of it.

We spent a lot of time exploring each other's bodies. We were rubbing each other and rolling over and over and then; I felt it. Somehow she had worked us into a position with her on top of me. She impaled herself on me and sank slowly down on my dick. It was the best feeling I have ever had. That first penetration made us both suck in huge gasps.

"Dylan, you have to go slowly, Honey," she squeaked.

"I didn't... I'm not trying to hurt you," I said.

"Dylan, you didn't do anything wrong," she said. "But you're a lot bigger than Jimmy. It feels really good, but I don't want you to tear me apart."

She sank slowly down, moaning and shifting her hips all the way. It seemed to take a long time. I could feel her tight pussy gripping every inch of my dick as she descended.

"Oh God!" she hissed. "Don't move!" Then she slowly started to pump her hips forward and back. The look on her face was bizarre. She looked as if she was in excruciating pain. Her hands turned into claws and dug into my hands.

Her hips began to pump faster and harder. "Ooh, baby. Soooo good!" she said. "Dylan, I need you to flip me onto my back and take me. Instinct took over. I gently put her on her back. Her legs spread themselves apart, and she looked at me as if there was nothing in the world she wanted more than to have my dick back inside of her.

I pushed inside of her and felt that tightness envelope me again. This time I was on top, and I started slowly to pump her myself. "Faster, Dylan," she hissed. She seemed like a different girl. Her hips moved up to meet mine. She pulled me down to kiss her, and our tongues swirled around each other's mouths.

"Fuck me Dylan," she hissed. "Make me your woman." And I did we slammed together with such force and desperation that it seemed almost violent.

"Oh, Shit, shit shit shit," she screamed. "I'm gonna... I'm there..." I had no idea what was going on. Were we done? After a few moments, she reached down and sucked my dick until I was done. She swallowed every drop. And then she wrapped her arms and her legs around me possessively.

She looked straight into my eyes. "Dylan, when you get a little bit of practice, you're going to be amazing. That was the best sex I've ever had," she said. "I totally lost control. Don't tell Jimmy about the things I said, please. I don't want to hurt his feelings."

I agreed and didn't say much. I was still reliving every second of what had just happened. She asked me if she could use our shower. And she looked at me weirdly.

When she came out, I walked her back to her dorm. "Dylan, why aren't you saying anything?" she asked.

"That was the most special thing that has ever happened to me in my life," I said. "I was trying to process it all. And I was thinking."

She smiled. She really was beautiful. Her eyes had a glow to them that was hard to miss. "What were you thinking?" she asked.

"That if you weren't Jimmy's girl... I... I love you too, Sarah," I said.

"Honey, never say that again. I'm your best friend's girl friend. Someday he and I are going to get married. However, if I wasn't his... Boy oh boy!" she said. She looked at me strangely. "Dylan, are you crying?"

"No," I said turning around.

"This is so unfair," she said softly. She opened the door to her dorm and looked around. Her roommate was out. She pulled me inside and started kissing me. Before I knew it, we were in her bed and had started again.

By the time I got back to the dorm, feeling extremely guilty and also confused, I expected Jimmy to be there waiting for me and angry. He wasn't. I showered and went to sleep, still dreaming of what I had done.

Jimmy showed up at about two on the morning. He was smiling and woke me up. "How was it?" he asked.

"I'm sorry," I said.

"Please don't tell me you chickened out," he spat. "This is killing me. Why didn't you fuck her? Okay we'll do it again tomorrow. Do you want someone else?"

"You knew...?" I said.

"Of course," he said. "I arranged it, remember? Dylan, you and I are supposed to be the same. If I'm not a virgin, you can't be one either."

"But Jimmy, she's your girlfriend and..." I began.

"Bros before Hoes," he said. "No bitch will ever come between us."

"But you're going to marry her and have kids with her," I said.

"Says who?" he asked, looking at me like I was silly.

"But you told her that today," I said.

"I just said all of that shit because women like hearing it," he said.

"So you don't love her?" I asked.

"I love fucking her," he said. "Go to sleep. We'll talk more tomorrow."

Over the next few weeks, things changed. I realized that I had fallen in love with Sarah. But in trying to be true to Jimmy, I avoided all contact with her. It didn't work for long. Jimmy started asking me to help her with her math and a couple of other subjects she was weak in.

Since he had no interest in studying, he left the dorm to give us privacy. I did everything I could to make her comfortable. I made her dinner. I massaged her feet while she read. However, I stayed away from her. And she noticed it.

Just before we went home for Christmas break, she came over. She waited for Jimmy to go out as he always did when we studied.

"Dylan, you're the best guy I've ever known," she said. "I've already told you, but this is so unfair. I wish so badly that things were different."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Dylan, you treat me like a princess. You're kind. You're considerate. And you treat me like you really do love me. I've been trying to give you hints that I would like a rematch, but as much as you want me, you haven't even tried," she said. "I really wish you had, but..."

"But you're Jimmy's girl," I said.

"Jimmy has been cheating on me since we started," she said. "I guess I'm his safety net. When he has no one else to fuck, he stops by and uses me. He uses you to keep me busy while he's sowing his oats and... And you had no idea did you."

I just stood there with my mouth open. "But why," I asked. She came around the table to me.

"God, I wish I had met you first," she said. She was taking off her clothes as she walked towards me. We spent the entire evening and half of the night in my bed. We were both crying when she left. She left a note for Jimmy. I waited to confront him with it.

"Great," said Jimmy when he read her note. "That saves me the trouble of a messy scene in trying to get rid of her."

"You don't love her anymore?" I asked.

"God damn it Dylan," he said. "Get with the program. I was tired of her as soon as I fucked her. Why do you think I've been leaving her here with you? You kept her busy for me while I..."

That was when I learned one of the most important differences between Jimmy and I. To Jimmy only he and I were important. Jimmy had a new woman every week or two, and they all thought that they were the one he was going to marry.

"Jimmy, she loved you," I said.

"So fuckin' what," he smiled. "No one ever marries the first person they hook up with. She was a practice girl, dummy."

"A what," I asked.

"Dylan, you scored two touchdowns last week," he said. "We are headed for the NFL, with a bullet. If you weren't so busy wasting your time going to class, you would know that you can probably have any woman on this campus. One of the girls I'm screwing has the biggest softest boobs I've ever seen. Another one has an ass like a rap star's girlfriend. And both of them are prettier than Sarah."

I had no idea how to tell him that I loved Sarah. It took me months to get over her. And all during that time, Jimmy was throwing girls at me. When he wasn't throwing them at me, I actually met a few on my own, or rather they met me. As our football careers rose, people actually began coming up and talking to me.

I was still going to class and passing all of them. I was on pace to graduate right on time. Jimmy had gotten our coach to get him a deferred program. It was designed so he could carry a minimum class load in classes that were basically gimmes. Most of those classes were only one credit, with no tests and attendance as the only requirement for passing. Most of the time, he didn't attend but was given an excused absence because he was on the team.

And that was the way our first two years went. Our third year was different. It was more difficult for me to keep my GPA up because the team was vying for a division championship and trying to line up for a good bowl game invitation.

And it was during that third year that everything changed. For one thing, Jimmy was so sure that we were going into the NFL that he illegally signed with a sports agent. Under the rules, he was supposed to wait until he had declared himself eligible for the draft. Jimmy decided that having an agent help him plan out how to declare and when would be the best time to do it.

An even bigger shock was that the guy thought he was representing me as well. It did not go over well when I explained to him that I had no intention of leaving school before I graduated. Jimmy told him that he would talk to me.

It was one of our bigger arguments. Jimmy told me that football was a rough game. Every time we stepped onto the field, we risked a career-ending injury. We needed to get into the league and sign a fat contract as soon as possible. If we got hurt while in the league, our money was already set. If we got hurt while playing for our college team, we got nothing.

One of the things the agent did was to clean up Jimmy's act. He told Jimmy that a big part of signing with a team was his image. Teams wanted a clean-cut image and were willing to pay more for it. His agent suggested that Jimmy get rid of all of the strippers and... Pretty much whores that he was juggling and get himself a nice girl to date. He could still have his big boobed bimbos on the side.

As usual, I went along with the program. There really wasn't much for me to do. I had no image to clean up. Away from the football field, I was pretty much invisible. I was beginning to make a splash among the engineering students. My grades were consistently high, but none of the professors even submitted me for an internship, because it was assumed that I would be playing football.

As a result of the agent's ideas, my life changed forever. It wasn't a thing that I was told to do; it was an indirect effect. One afternoon after practice, Jimmy went out and came home with Gretchen.

With his usual tact and charm, Jimmy brought her into our dorm room and told her to sit. He said it the way he'd give a command to his dog.

"Gretchen, sit," he said. Our dorm had a larger open central area, with two smaller bedrooms, one to each side. When I heard Jimmy come in I went out to speak to him and saw Gretchen for the first time. It was love at first sight; at least on my part.

She was a taller girl at five foot eight. She had milky skin with freckles and the reddest hair I had ever seen. Her eyes were so bright a shade of blue that it appeared, they glowed. And her smile lit up the room.

Her hair, those lustrous scarlet curls, descended to her waist.

"Hi," she said cheerfully. "I've seen you at the games."

I just stood there mute. I was too overwhelmed by her to utter a sound.

"You guys look so much alike," she continued. "Are you guys twins?"

"Yes," cracked Jimmy, coming out of his room wearing a different shirt. "We just have different mothers, different fathers, and different last names."

She thought about it for a second and then started laughing.

"You don't talk to much do you," she asked.

"He's the shy type," spat Jimmy. "I keep trying to get him out of it."

"Ooooh, don't try too hard," she cooed. "I think it's cute. Maybe someday, I'll spend a lot of time trying to hook my friends up with my cute but shy brother in law."

Hearing those words from her lips was like a dagger to my heart. I'm sure my face changed somewhat, and she commented on it.

"What was that look for?" she asked. "Don't you want me to marry your brother?"

"I think he wants you for himself," quipped Jimmy smiling. "You're going to have to wait a while bro," he said. He winked at me, and I knew exactly what he meant. He turned to Gretchen and asked her, "How long will it take us to get your sister transferred here from her school?"

It was exactly what I was afraid of. Gretchen as beautiful as she was would only be another Sarah to Jimmy. He had picked her simply because her clean cut, girl next door look would help his image and make it more likely for him to get a fat contract from teams who were becoming more and more afraid of loose cannon, football players.

I still hadn't gotten over Sarah. I remember how hurt she was. I also remembered how much I loved her and how pointless it had all been. I had no intention of going through that all again. Jimmy set us for a double date. He arranged for one of Gretchen's friends to go with me.

"I already have plans of my own," I said.

"Ooh, do I know her," asked Jimmy. Gretchen just looked disappointed. I never made eye contact with her and tried my best to avoid her. If I didn't get to know her, if I didn't think of her as a person, her fall would haunt me less. I had to think of her as just another one of Jimmy's fucks.

It was about a week later that I next saw her. I had just gotten into our dorm and was headed for the microwave and my computer when I heard a voice. "Why don't you like me?" she asked.

"What are you...?" I began.

"I asked you first so answer the question," she said.

"What makes you think I don't like you?" I asked.

"Hmm," she said. "I've spent more time in this dorm than you have over the last week or so. But you are never here. The night of our double date... You did have a date alright. Your date is still talking about it. She's sixty-three years old. She's the librarian at the engineering library. You brought her coffee and a carrot cupcake. She hasn't stopped talking about how nice you are since then. She even let you study past closing time." She was standing up and walking towards me.

"Dylan, do you know that half of the girls in the school are gushing over what you did for that woman? I think everyone who ever goes into that library has seen the pictures of her and her husband with coffee and cupcakes, on her desk. I heard about it from Nedra Brown, one of my dorm mates." I didn't say anything.

"You seem like a really great guy," she said. "I just want to know why you don't like me. Even Jimmy says you're acting weird when it comes to me."

"I guess I'm going through something, and I'm just not good company, right now," I said. "I don't want to mess things up for you guys by depressing you while you're happy."

At that moment, the door opened and Jimmy walked in. "Oh great you guys are talking," he said.

"Yeah and I got to the bottom of things," she said. "Dylan doesn't dislike me. He's just going through something."

Jimmy took one look at me and with a bond that was almost akin to what real twins feel; he shook his head. "God dammit, Dylan," he said. "You're still moping about Sarah aren't you?" In a movement that amazed me and made me even more sure of my theory. He told her. "Sarah, was... Well, she was Dylan's first. She just moved away suddenly. It hurt him pretty bad. She just left a note, and then she was gone. I really hoped that he'd gotten past it. I guess not."

They decided just to give me time.

Later on when Jimmy came back to the dorm, he was ready to talk.

"What the hell is wrong with you Dylan," he asked.

"I don't want to have anything to do that woman," I said.

"Neither do I," he said. "She barely has anything you could call tits. Shit my chest is bigger than hers is after I do a set of heavy bench presses. And she has a white girl booty. I hate those fucking freckles. They just make her face look dirty. She looks like Rebecca from Sunnybrook farm. And she's so God Damned cheerful. She's also too damned clingy. As soon as I screwed her, she started talking about getting married. She's nuts. We just have to put up with her until we sign with a team."

"I'm not having..." I began.

"Yes you are," he said. "I'm already sick of her. Can you believe she doesn't do anal? I'm at the point where I would probably get more out of choking her to death than I do from fucking her. She never shuts up. She keeps asking me all of these moronic questions about where I want to live and how many kids I want. How the hell would I know?"

He sat down and pounded his fist on the table. "Shit, we'll probably live in the city we play for. And I'm not having any kids until I'm fifty. I really need your help here, Dill."

"Not gonna do it," I said in my best George Bush impression. "Can't."

"Dylan, yes you can," he said. "You like her. You know it. That's why I picked her. She's your type. All you have to do is keep her busy for me, just like you did with Sarah."

"I can't do it Jimmy," I said. He just waved me off. As if he already knew I was going to do it.

"And we have to figure out which one of us is going in the first round," he said. "If we both go in the first round, we'll end up on different teams. I think it's more likely that you as a tight end will go first. So I need you to remember that when you start doing interviews with teams, you should mention me. Our agent is going to try to sell us as a package, too. It'll be just like it was in high school. And I need you to leave those fucking books alone, dude. You could be a much better player if you spent more time at the gym or even on the track."