D.I.A.N.N.E. Ch. 09

Putting what he could not control out of his mind, he set back to work on what he could.

***

By the time I came back to the MAP, I'd run through Dr. No twice, wanting to sync up with the character of James Bond as much as possible. As a result, I'd bumped up my physical and mental stats by one point each, and my social a whopping five points! This put me at fifty, fifty-two and forty-four respectively. Pleased with myself, I was wanting to share it with someone.

A few seconds later, the usual floor panels nearby turned blue, and Tifa appeared there, at my request. I sauntered over, brimming with the fresh download of Connery's confidence and charisma. "Hi!" the beautiful brunette said brightly as I approached. As always, she wore a tight white top that left her flat midriff bare, a short black skirt that hugged her compact butt and suspenders that pushed her prodigious breasts together.

"Hi," I returned, stopping at the border of white and blue. She came to meet me, standing just on the other side. I eyed her up and down and smiled broadly. She was so beautiful.

"What's up? Wanna spar again?" Her eyes gleamed at the prospect, her perfect lips curling at the corners as she slipped one suspender off a slim shoulder. I swallowed, suddenly excited, but held my hands out to stall her.

"Not this time," I said, not hiding my regret. "But I really wish we could."

Tifa pouted. "Why not? Don't you want me?" She slid the other suspender off. I almost groaned aloud. If she took her top off, I wasn't sure I could stop myself. I stepped back quickly. She couldn't access anything outside the blue squares, so I was safe enough out here. If she touched me, I was a goner.

"Oh, I think we both know the answer to that," I replied smoothly. "But I need to go soon."

She cocked her head. "Then why did you summon me?"

"Well, I've been training hard, getting better, and I wanted to share that with you." And I missed you. Was that me or Cloud saying that last bit?

She gave me a once over. "I can tell." Her eyes shone again. "Got time for a quicky to celebrate?" Her hands went to the hem of her top. The woman was not taking no for an answer!

"No!" I blurted pleadingly, waving my hands at her. All my newfound confidence seemed to vanish. "Please, Tifa, I can't."

She frowned, pausing with her arms crossed over her middle. "What is with you today?"

I sighed, my shoulders sagging. I hadn't summoned her here for the reason I thought I had. "I have a girlfriend, now, and being with you just... Wouldn't feel right."

"Huh." She looked a little crestfallen as she folded slender arms around her midriff. "Does this mean you won't be calling on me anymore?"

"I'm not sure," I said honestly. "I really like you, but you're from your world. I need to live in my world, too." This was not how I saw this visit with Tifa going, but the ball was already rolling. Too late to stop it. I was going to give up Tifa -- and the others -- for Debbie. "I had to choose. Do you understand?"

She nodded quickly -- too quickly -- and uttered a tight "yep." Her eyes were fixed on a space on the floor between us. "What about Cloud? What does he want?"

My heart was wrenching. I hadn't realised how much I cared about her until now. But she's not real. She's a fantasy. Debbie is real.

She's real to me, Cloud said suddenly, speaking for the first time in a while. And I -- we -- are real to her. This was becoming an existential conundrum beyond my ability to comprehend. A sudden solution occurred to me. "Cloud loves you. You know that. You'll always have him in your world."

I got a surprise when her head swung, silky black hair swaying gently. "Cloud has been gone from my world for some time. Everyone was really worried, but I told them a version of the truth they could accept. The only time I get him is when I'm here with you."

Oh, shit. What had I done? I'd stolen Cloud from his friends, people who loved him. I'd thought a copy of him still existed in the game world all this time. Why hadn't Tifa said anything until now? "I didn't know that," I said, sharing her sadness and feeling massively guilty. I found myself wanting to find a way to make this all work somehow. Debbie, Tifa, everything. I couldn't just cut Tifa off from Cloud, leave her out in the cold like that. The voice that said she wasn't real piped up again, but I squashed it. "But now that I do, I'll find a way to make this work, okay?"

She shrugged and turned away from me. "Do what you need to do," she said dismissively, briefly waving a hand. It was obvious how hurt she was.

"I'm sorry," I said to her back. "I really am."

She spun around, dark eyes blazing. "You took him from me, Jake! From all of us!" She tried to point a finger, but her hand hit the blue light barrier. She punched it in frustration and the whole wall... rippled. Was that supposed to happen? "And you, Cloud! You went with him!" Another punch, and this time the ripple was stronger. "Sorry isn't going to cut it! I trained you, helped you, gave myself to you, and now you want to cast me aside for some other woman?!"

Uh-oh, Cloud murmured in the back of my head as Tifa spun on her heel and planted a heavy kick against the barrier. The whole thing shattered like shards of glass, the blue panels on the floor and ceiling flickering and turning white again as I buried my face in my arms against the incoming projectiles. They faded before they reached me, however, but Tifa did not.

The blows came fast and hard, and I offered no resistance. I deserved every hit, after all. "Do you know what it's like to be yanked away from everything you know?" she yelled as the assault continued. I let her pound at my face, my belly, my chest. I was going to be sore, later. "To make everyone you love worry about you? To have someone you love taken away?"

Sadly, I shook my head. "I don't know if anyone's ever worried about me or loved me. Until now, anyway."

The fists slowed and stopped. Breathing hard, she studied my face. "What do you mean? I care about you!"

"You care about Cloud," I countered gently. "Not Jake."

She threw up her hands. "I thought you were the same. Or have I missed something? I'm so damn confused!"

"Me too," I admitted. "But without Cloud, I would be nothing to you, and while that makes me sad, it's the truth. There's a girl in my world who wants to be with me for who I am, as unbelievable as that is." Those big, dark eyes watched me, threatening to swallow me up. "I'm going to give Cloud back to you. It's only right."

"I'm afraid that's impossible, Jake," Dianne said.

Tifa looked around in surprise. "Who was that?"

"Long story," I replied. To Dianne, I said, "What do you mean? Can't I desynchronise or something?"

"Perhaps you may have been able to perform this earlier," Dianne began smoothly, "but if you attempt it now, at this late stage of synchronisation, you will most likely die, or at the very least suffer a major psychotic break."

"Oh," I muttered weakly. Tifa swung her head, the glimmer of hope in her eyes dying. It was enough to make me want to scream. Cloud loved Tifa, and he was part of me, which meant I loved her. I loved Debbie, too; I was surer of that by the day, even though our relationship was still new. How could I love two women? I was smarter than I used to be, before Dianne, but my mind could still only come up with one solution that didn't involve breaking anyone's heart. I hoped.

I gently took Tifa by the shoulders. "I'm going to sort this all out. I promise. Stay here until I come back." I raised my eyes to the ceiling. "Dianne? Make sure Tifa has whatever she wants while I'm gone, please."

"As you wish, Jake."

I cupped Tifa's face in my hands and kissed her lips before vanishing.

*

Where is this place? A Scottish voice said in my head as I pulled off the headpiece and got off the couch. Bond had finally surfaced, and not before time.

I could have used your help a minute ago, I told him bitterly. Where were you?

That is indeed the question, young man. Who are you?

I'm Jake, I replied impatiently as I pulled the fridge open and grabbed a beer. I was going to need it for what was coming. And this is my apartment. You and I are going to become fast friends.

Is that so?

It is. You are probably going to convince yourself this is a dream or something, but in reality, advanced technology has merged our minds together. Sorry to dump all this on you so quickly, but I needed your skills.

I see, Bond replied flatly. It would seem the coffee Dr. No drugged me with was stronger than I previously thought. I am going back to sleep. A pleasure to have met you, Jake.

No, wait! I thought furiously. How to convince him? It is most certainly not a dream! You beat Dr. No -- he fell into some nuclear soup and died -- and you escaped the island with Honey. Don't you remember kissing her on the boat?

He was silent for a moment, but I got the impression he was smiling at the end. Ah yes, Honey. How could I forget? Where is she?

She is safe, I promise. I silently prayed that he would accept that.

Advanced technology, you say? He said after a moment. Well, if you are telling the truth, Jake, this may turn out to be an interesting experience. The name's Bond. James-

I know! I cut in irritably. You are quite famous where I'm from, I added in a gentler tone; there was no need to piss him off.

Well, that cannot be right, he scoffed. I'm a spy! I wouldn't be a very good one if I was famous now, would I?

He had a point. I... suppose not, I said as I drained the last of my beer and opened another one. Was I really going to do this? Tell Debbie everything? What about the Company? Surely, they would not approve. Standing in the kitchen, I looked around my awesome apartment and sighed. I was going to put all this on the line for Debbie because I wanted her more than anything else.

It's not so bad, once you get used to him, Indy said.

And who are you? Bond replied curiously.

I'm Indiana Jones, and this is Cloud.

Hi, said Cloud. Welcome to Jake. I shook my head and squeezed my eyes shut for a moment. I could actually sense them shaking hands, or at least an energetic representation of the action. This was going to be a very long day.

*

"Whoa," Debbie breathed, turning Dianne's headpiece in her hands. "That's nuts." The thin band of metal with soft rubbery lining glinted in the light from the loungeroom ceiling. We were standing in the middle of the room, between the couch and the TV.

"Yeah." I watched her carefully, as I had been ever since beginning my mad story, looking for signs of anger or fear or hurt, but I saw none. "It really is." She was as pretty as always today in a black halter and pleated white skirt that ended mid-thigh, though for once I wasn't really focused on how good she looked.

"You lied to me."

Here it comes. "Yeah. I'm not supposed to tell anybody about this."

The expected explosion didn't happen. Instead, her big brown eyes flicked up to my face. "Is it safe?" Her gaze wandered over my body as she no doubt wondered if the changes I was going through were harming me.

"I think so," I replied with a small shrug. "I feel really good."

She frowned. Even that looked pretty on her. "Does this feel good?" Gently, she touched one of the bruises on my face, just beneath my eye. I felt myself flushing. Debbie had made a big deal about the bruises when she first arrived, but I'd put off the explanation until she had the rest of the story.

"Ah, yeah. That was Tifa. She wasn't happy with me today."

"So, she hit you?"

"I... May have deserved it."

"Why? What did you do?"

This part I had not yet revealed. "I... Was breaking things off with her. Because I wanted to be with you."

Deb's eyes searched my face, her expression unreadable. "And she was upset because of this other guy who lives in your head now, right?" She was catching up quickly. "She loves him?"

"Cloud, yeah."

"Right," she said, almost sounding as if she understood completely. It wasn't until I'd started talking that I realised how insane this all sounded out loud. I'd never had to tell it to anyone before.

"And this mysterious company pays you to use this?" She held up the headband. "Test it?" When I nodded, she added, "including banging all these virtual women?" Her tone was flat. That wasn't good.

If I flushed before, now I went crimson. This was all very confronting. My mind spun with visions what my perverted antics must have looked like from the outside. I didn't care about all that before, but Debbie made me want to care. "Yes," I replied quietly, looking at the floor. Maybe I should have just broken things off with Debbie instead, but that would have been like pulling my own heart out of my body. I was too afraid to look up at her face; I didn't want to see the disappointment.

"What's it like?"

"What's what like?" I lifted my eyes as far as her hands, still toying with the metal band.

"Being in there. Seeing, feeling, hearing." There was a genuine curiosity in her voice now.

"It's more real than you would believe," I said truthfully. "In some ways more real than the real world. In others, not."

"And what happens in there -- happens to you -- really happens to your body?" Now she sounded concerned. I wanted to look at her face but couldn't quite make myself do it. The shame was too strong.

"Yeah."

"Jesus, Jake," she breathed, sitting down heavily on the couch behind her. "You could have been hurt bad, maybe even killed!"

I grinned wanly. "I didn't care so much," I admitted. "Wasn't much to care about. Strange how much can change in two weeks."

Debbie's head swung in disbelief as she stared at the black cube across the room. "I don't know what to say." I sat down quietly, giving her time. Her face was a blend of worry, confusion, and a few other things I couldn't place. She quickly set the headband down on the seat beside her as if she couldn't bear touching it anymore, then her eyes found mine. "This is wild, huh?"

I nodded. "Like I said, I'm giving it away. I'll find another job, another apartment. I just feel like I need to grow up, you know? Sure, I can fulfill all my childish fantasies with Dianne and get paid for it, but I don't see how we have a future if I keep going down this path. Do you?"

Her full lips pursed, and she looked thoughtful as she glanced at the headband beside her. "I don't know," she said after a moment. "Look around." She gestured, taking in the room. "This is where you live. It's a palace compared to your old place."

No argument there. "Wait, what are you saying? I shouldn't quit?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. I mean, I know I'm not like a lot of other girls. I'm pretty relaxed about a lot of things -- that doesn't mean I'm okay with you sleeping around! -- but this thing is just like a really complex video game, right?" That was boiling things right down to the bone, but I nodded. "If this thing is not hurting you in any way," she went on carefully. "I'm not sure you should stop. It might be a great opportunity."

I gaped. "You mean that?"

She nodded and grinned. "I mean, it's just a game, right? One that happens to have a sexual facet. It's not any different to watching porn, really, and I wouldn't expect you to do that just because we're together."

I was more in love with Debbie than ever before, if that were possible. That thought pulled me up short. As I stared into those eyes like polished mocha marbles, I knew it was true. I loved Debbie. I'd only known her just over two weeks, but I knew it in my heart. What would she say if I told her? Would she say it back? Or was it too soon? I realised she was saying something and pulled myself back to the moment.

"I mean, if I'm being honest, I'm a bit flattered," she said, her cheeks reddening.

"What do you mean?" I hadn't been expecting her to say that.

She stood smoothly and came to me. I gladly took her into my arms as she mounted my lap. "You've been living all these crazy fantasies with women who are no doubt way hotter and more desirable than me, yet you're still into me." Our faces were close. I could feel her breath on my lips. My body responded quickly to her warm weight. I held her by the waist, feeling the soft skin in the hollow above her hips.

"They couldn't hold a candle to you, Deborah Swanson," I replied smoothly. "Whatever happens in Dianne is simulated, fictional. You are real. How I feel about you is real."

Her gaze was two deep, brown pools trying to drag me in, drown me. She was soft, open, vulnerable. She was mine. "And how do you feel about me?" Her words were barely a whisper.

"I love you." There. It was done. I couldn't have held it back anyway. Not after she'd accepted so much of me so readily. She touched my face, a look of disbelief in her eyes.

"Really?"

"Really."

Her mouth clashed into mine, hungry, passionate, wanting. I squeezed her into me and she unfolded her knees to bring her feet around behind me, locking into place as if she never intended to let go. She pulled her head away and drew a ragged breath. "I think I love you too." Another torrid kiss, then another breath. "This is fucking crazy." She started to say more, but I was done talking. I sealed her lips with mine and stood up, easily bearing her weight. It was time to move this to the bedroom.

An hour or so later, I was lying face up on my bed, one hand resting behind my head, the other stroking Debbie's back as she lay pressed against my left side. We were naked, sweaty and happy.

"I don't know where you get all this energy from," she was saying as she kissed my chest. "But I hope it never runs out."

"Me too," I replied lazily as my hand drifted higher. She shifted her arm so I could tuck my hand beneath it and cup a full breast, which elicited an appreciative noise.

"Is it cool if I stay tonight?" she asked as her fingers played over my chest.

"You don't need to ask. My place is yours."

If this is what being in your head is like, I could get used to it, Bond said. This Debbie is quite a ravishing young thing, isn't she? I ignored him and focused on the moment.

"That sounds nice," Debbie said happily as she nuzzled in closer. "But don't let me get in the way of your work."

"I wasn't planning to do any work tonight. I can catch up on that tomorrow or something." As much as Debbie appeared to be cool with everything, I was hesitant to do my usual thing with her in the apartment. Besides, I'd rather spend my time with her anyway.

"Whatever you think, babe," she replied around a yawn. I was a little sleepy myself, but I was also getting hungry. My stomach growled at the very thought of food. Debbie giggled. "Looks like we have another appetite to sort out." She threw a leg over me and climbed on top, putting us almost nose to nose. I loved the feeling of her warm, silky-smooth body. "Should we go eat?"

"Yes!" I crowed, flipping us over. "I'm starving!" I buried my face in her neck and made munching noises, which caused her to squeal in delight and wriggle around like a fish out of water. Somehow, her flailing put her still-wet pussy in contact with my still-hard cock, and before I knew it, I was sliding back inside her. We both groaned in happy surprise, but then Debbie winced slightly.

I pulled back at once. "You okay?"

"Yeah, just a little sensitive. You really worked me over." She didn't seem displeased about that fact, judging by her grin.

"I'll give you a break," I said as I slowly -- and reluctantly -- withdrew from her sweet confines. She seemed conflicted but didn't stop me. "What is it?" I enquired, kissing the tip of her nose.