Dania Ch. 05

As soon as I'd hit Roth over the head, I froze. He was out cold and had a small pool of crimson-colored blood forming around his head. My first reaction was one of elation. I'd killed him. Then I heard him breathing and noticed the almost imperceptible rise and fall of his chest. He was massive. Maybe he would still die? I didn't know.

I walked over to him and pushed him tentatively with my foot. I'm not sure if I expected him to way or not, but he never made a sound nor did he move. I had no idea what to do next. Killing for my own survival was one thing and I could do this no problem. But to have killed another sentient creature turned my stomach. Well, no. It wasn't because he was intelligent, I think it was because it now meant that I was alone. Again. But one thing I did know for certain was that I had just beaten the leader of the Meh-teh in a fight. One of two things was sure to come my way: Respect or wrath. I'm not sure that I wanted either of those things. And wanting to be left alone was something I wasn't sure I wanted anymore either.

How had things gotten so bad so quickly? One day I was bathing and letting my Cat play and the next thing I know, here comes this huge beast and now my life was all but over with. He did have nice eyes.....jade. I know that they can come after me anytime they want. But I'm not leaving my home. Its all I have. I can't remember my past, so this is all I've ever known. I will defend it if it comes to that.

And with that I walked back into my part of the Forest. If Roth lived, all the more power to him. If he died, it was of no immediate concern to me. Especially after all he'd done to me and put me through.

Why couldn't he have just left me alone?

I'd made it about two steps into the Forest when I realized that I'd forgotten to wash the blood from my body. The watering hole was right there.....and it seemed only fitting for me to bathe right there in front of him knowing he could do nothing about it.

The water felt good on my body. I took my time, letting my hands explore every inch of my dark fur. I loved how soft it was. I did wince, though, every time I came across a would I'd received from Roth. I had to admire how strong he was. It was a hell of a fight, and as much I hated to admit it, I loved it. The struggle to survive, the adrenaline pumping through my veins. To fight like that, to suffer as I was now meant that I was alive. To want to fight like that meant that I wanted to live.

I found that I was no longer looking at my scars with disdain. These were something to be proud of. And then the most amazing thing happened....the pain changed. That sting that I experienced before was no longer associated with pain. Instead it was arousing. I smiled as I traced the cuts now and grew warm as I ran my fingers around the outside of bruises that were just beginning to form.

I could tell that I was about to question these things. I shouldn't be feeling this kind of pleasure right now. It was at this point my Cat interjected and reminded me that these were sensations I'd learned to relish long ago. I tried to argue but the Cat had taken full control and all I could do was let go and enjoy the experience.

One thing did eventually become clear, and I'm not sure where in my past this came from. But I was proud of the scars he had given me. I had earned them.

This whole thing was bizarre. And he had tried to bite me! Why would he do such a thing. I know he doesn't eat meat, but I thought he would at least be able to bite someone without failing. He'd succeeded in pressing his lips firmly up against mine. I can't lie, it was nice to have him do that instead of biting me. I couldn't understand it. Again, my Cat told me that he hadn't bit me, and somewhere, deep down, it was right. When you got right down to it, I had enjoyed it. I had gotten lost in his jade colored eyes. At that moment, at that instant, there was nothing I wouldn't have let him do. I'd felt a strange, yet familiar, stirring in the pit of my stomach accompanied by a tingling in my loins.

As I was remembering, I let my hand begin to massage that area and I wasn't surprised to find that I was hyper-sensitive. Words cannot describe how good it felt; the way he felt when he'd did that thing with his mouth....I knew the word for it, I think, the way my body was sore, the way my cuts and bruises ached, the way he felt....male, and then my finger slipped inside. I was nearly overcome with sensation. I was wet, and not from the water. I began to purr as I slid my finger in and out. My Cat wanted to take over here, but I couldn't let it. I wanted to feel this. To feel all of it. I wanted it to myself. I imagined that it was Roth doing this to me. Just like before, the thought of him having his way with me.....no, not having his way, but taking control. Yes, taking control was the right word. Just the thought of him taking control of me set off a tidal wave of sensation, all of which were not physical, and I nearly passed out there in the water.

I had to stop. I lied there on the bank and simply enjoyed what had just happened.

A thought struck me that stole all of this bliss from me. I'd figured out that I'd enjoyed this kind of struggle....longed for it even. And the only thing that I could ever remember giving me this kind of challenge now lie dying only a few feet away from me. I may never experience this again.

There was little I could do about it now. I went over to him and he still wasn't moving and his breath was as shallow as ever. I'd seen things in the Forest in this kind of shape and they always died. Roth wasn't going to make it. I would at least make him comfortable.

Once I wiped the blood from his head, I could see that there was a very large and deep gash along where I'd struck him with the rock. How he was still alive at this point was beyond me. There wasn't anything more I could do. I wished there was, but it just wasn't possible.

I made my way into the Forest, and, once again, I didn't go far. I was tired. Very tired. But I also didn't want to leave him entirely alone just yet. I knew that when he died, I'd be alone again. I knew that it may be a very long time before I was able to be challenged again. Not like he had. I knew that a confrontation with the Meh-teh was likely going to happen very soon. Their numbers would likely overtake me. But it wouldn't be that one on one survival of the fittest contest that he and I had.

I made my way up into one of the trees and instantly fell asleep. I awoke at nearly sunset and I had the feeling that something wasn't right. I could hear a soft moaning coming from the clearing. Roth was moaning. If he was moaning, that meant that he just might recover. He might live!

But something about the inflection of that moan told me he was in trouble.

When I got back to the clearing, there were three wolves circling Roth. One would come in for an attack and would be swatted away like a fly by his massive hands only to have another attack from behind. They weren't trying to go for a kill, they were wearing him down. They knew that he was injured that it would only be a matter of time before Roth was no longer able to fight them off. It was a feat for him to have been able to do so for as long as he had.

I was suddenly very protective of this thing I'd hated only hours before. I couldn't let the wolves kill him. If I hadn't been able to kill him, then I sure as hell wasn't going to let pack of mangy muts do the job. This was MY Forest.

I let out a scream and all three wolves turned to look at me simultaneously. The one closest to me charged. I did the same. Once I was close enough I lept into the air towards him with my claws outstretched and aiming for its neck. They sliced through his coat and I ripped out its throat as we both fell. He was dead before we hit the ground.

The second wolf was almost on top of me before I got up and he was able to tackle me to the ground. I rolled with him and ended up on top and sank my teeth into his neck, crushing his windpipe. I would have held on, but a searing pain in the back of my neck made me let go. But that was okay, that second wolf would die, just more slowly. But this last one, it was holding on for dear life. I tried as best I could to reach around and grab him, but that didn't work. I was shocked when he let go of me with a yelp.

Somehow in all of the commotion, Roth had been able to crawl to us and grab a rock (the same one I'd hit him with) and bash the wolf over the head, killing him. The second one wasn't dead yet so I bit into his neck once more and ripped it out. They were all dead now.

I turned around to thank Roth, but he had passed out once again. I went to him and cradled his head in my lap. I would stay with him until he woke. Whatever happened then would happen.

The wound on his head began to bleed again and I, instinctively, began to lick it as if it were one of my own. The bleeding soon stopped. It was fully dark now and I soon fell asleep, resting on Roth.

~~~

"Thirsty."

I opened my eyes to find that the sun was fully up. My legs were asleep and my neck hurt from the way I'd slept. It took me a second to remember where I was. It took my body only have as long to remember the fight from the day before. I was completely sore.

"I'm thirsty," Roth said again.

Of course he was thirsty. He'd had no water since at least the morning before. I would have to drag him down to the water's edge and let him drink. Even though he tried to help as much as he could, it was still an effort that wore both of us completely out. I left him at the watering hole to see if I could find him something he could eat. I managed to find him some nuts, but that was all, and there wasn't many of those. Maybe after he was feeling better, he could help find his own food.

I returned and he was still drinking. He either had to be drinking slowly, which was a good thing, or he was gonna drink the place dry. If he was drinking too quickly, it would just come back up.

"Why do you want to hurt me?" I asked him while he was still drinking. My knowledge of his language was rudimentary at best, but we could communicate.

He stopped drinking and wiped water from the fur around his mouth. His eyes narrowed as they closed in on me. "You're dangerous! You bit off Jun's finger and you nearly killed me!"

"Wait right there. I tried to talk with both you and Jun. I told him I wanted to speak with you and he attacked me. I tried to speak with you and you attacked me anyways. And you call me dangerous?"

"Because of you, I had to kill my friend Anos! Because you attacked me and I let you go, he challenged me and I had to kill him! All because of you!"

"I didn't make you do anything. All I wanted was to be left alone. I just wanted to go home and you wouldn't let me. What would you have done, huh? Tell me!"

I could feel my anger rising and wanted nothing more than to rip his throat out. I should have let the wolves have him.

I could tell that he was thinking very hard about what I'd said and when he finally spoke, his voice was soft. "I don't know. Probably tried to escape as well."

I too softened my voice. "Roth, I'm not dangerous. This is my home and I'm not leaving. I will defend it. This Forest is all I know. I'm not going anywhere."

"You know the Meh-teh will be looking for you sooner or later, don't you?"

"I guessed as much. Which is why you have to go back and stop them."

Roth laughed to himself. "Don't you know what will happen if I go back now? I've already been challenged once, if I go back now, someone else will surely do it again. Only right now, I can barely sit up. How can I defend myself?

I hated to admit it, but he was right. If he went back, someone would challenge him and he'd be killed. And eventually they would come looking for me.

What happens if you don't go back for awhile? You know, give yourself time to heal and then return."

"They will wait until the next full Moon and if I am not back, another leader will be chosen. The Moon was only a few days ago, I still have some time?

What was I about to do? One minute I hated him, the next I didn't . He was so confusing that I could barely endure it.

"Stay and heal. Then go back to them." With that, I turned and went back into the Forest.

"Wait, are you going to kill me in my sleep?"

"I would have done that last night if that's what I wanted. And besides, you saved me from that wolf. I owe you one."

"I was trying to hit you, but I missed. But don't worry, cat. I'm not going to kill you. Not yet, at least."

I pounced on him without thinking about it. I spoke very slowly and very distinctly to him. "My. Name. Is. Dania." The nerve of him! The bastard had a smile on his face as he said that to me. Infuriating.

I hardly slept for the next two days; I was afraid that he would actually try to find and kill me. He never made the attempt. I spent my time watching him from the trees. I'm sure he either knew or suspected I was nearby. I didn't try to hide. But I watched him.

He couldn't stand for very long at first.....he became dizzy and would fall over. But midday, he was only going down to one knee. I was impressed. He refused to ask for any help; he wanted to do it on his own. That doesn't mean that I sat by and let him starve. I didn't understand why he couldn't just eat a nice little rabbit. Or one of the wolves we'd killed. I sure as hell had enjoyed them. All he would eat were his nuts and berries. So I brought him some, but only a few.

By the end of the second day he was able to walk around and venture into my Forest to gather some of his food.

"I want to thank you for helping me," Roth said at the end of that second day. "I would have died if you hadn't helped."

"It was no trouble at all." I lied. It was a ton of trouble. "So what are we gonna do?"

~~~~~

Roth had never been so helpless in his life and he hated it. He hated everything about this situation. Loathed it even. He'd let her get the best of him. And then to make matters worse, she'd saved him from the wolves. He still didn't understand that. It didn't make any sense. She should have either killed him or let the wolves do the job for her. But no, she saved him.

But then again, he's saved her as well. In an effort to not feel so helpless he'd told her that the stone was meant for her. It wasn't. He knew that she saw the smile on his face and he hoped that it made her half as scared as it did pissed off.

And to top it off, he had to rely on her for food. He wasn't strong enough yet. Every time he tried to stand he would become dizzy and lose his balance. For him, it was a long way to the ground. For two days she wouldn't speak to him. That bothered him. He yearned for her to sit and talk with him.

Roth had been fighting with himself ever since Dania had first attacked him. Something about her intrigued him; called to him on some primal level. He loved the soft fur that covered most of her body. He was captivated by the way her tail would swish back and forth, especially the way it would snap when she was angry. He couldn't get enough of the look in her eyes when she was mad. And even though she was so small, her body was exquisite; well toned muscles, long legs, perfect breasts. She was a sight to see. He couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to mate with her. And yes, he did wish to mate with her. Would it be a permanent mating? Perhaps. Perhaps not. His people often mated for life, but not always.

And as much as he hated to admit it, Roth knew that it would never work out between them. For one thing, Dania seemed to prefer the treetops and he was partial to life on the ground. Not to mention, his sheer size would make life in the trees impossible. And for Dania to live on the ground, she would have to give up the kind of life she enjoyed most.

There were other things which would make it hard for them. Like, for instance, Roth was a vegetarian and Dania clearly ate nothing but meat. There was also the matter of the Meh-teh. He was their leader and custom called for his mate to be the dominant female. While he was certain that Dania was more than capable of that, she preferred a life of solitude.

All of this had been on his mind when she'd asked a question he wished wouldn't come for some time. She wanted to know what they were going to do. On the one hand, he was curious as to what a life with Dania could be like. But he knew that wasn't what she was asking. She didn't want to know what was going to happen. Their kiss had apparently been on her mind and she wanted to know his intentions. The only problem was that he didn't know his intentions yet. He would make her ask a specific question and only answer that. He would let her assume everything else.

~~~~~~~~~~

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"What I mean is how are we going to play this out?" He was avoiding my question. "Are you going to need me to help you until you're well or are you eventually going to fend for yourself?"

"I will fend for myself."

"Fair enough. And what do we do about this?" I asked, gesturing to the both of us. "I don't know what it was that happened, but something did. It made me feel.....different. Different can get me killed."

"Yes, it could," he agreed.

It took me several moments before I could answer. I didn't know what to do. There was definitely something there, what it was I had no idea, but it was there. But I think the risk was too great. "I think I want you to leave me alone, Roth. You go your way and I'll go mine. If we stay clear of each other, there won't be a problem."

"And what if I don't want to leave you alone?"

"What are you talking about?" What was he saying? What did he want from me?

"Do you think there is a way that we can live together and not kill each other?"

"If you leave me alone I won't have to kill any of you."

"You're missing the point, Cat. Why can't we learn from each other? Live together in peace?"

"Live together in peace! You kidnapped me and kept me tied up and you want to live in peace? Its not me who needs to learn to be peaceful. And its Dania. I won't tell you again."

He was on top of me with his hand around my throat before I could react. "Listen to me. Cat. You will not raise your voice to me again. When I call youCcat, it is the same as me calling you Friend. Calm yourself down. I will not tell you again. Understood."

I could barely breath has he said this to me. I was transfixed. The weight of his body on top of me was painful. But it hurt so good. His hand around my throat should have sent fear racing through my body, but it was electricity instead. I was purring again. And the ferocity of his words! I was his and I think he knew it. I didn't have any words for it, but my Cat did, he was in charge and I liked it that way.

It is hard for me to explain. I am at the top of the food chain in my part of the Forest. I live my own life the way I want to live it. Because that's what I want. And then he speaks and everything is lost. Its like I have no control. But around him I don't want the control. Like I said, I don't have the exact words for it, but I know that he is a leader and wouldn't do anything that was not in my best interest.

Unless he decided to kill me, that is. And he could do so right now. All he would have to do is squeeze with his hand and I was done. This uncertainty had to play some part in my attraction to Roth.

Wait, was I attracted to this animal? Was that what these feelings were? I liked his control over me. I liked his presence. I think I was. I know I was. This surely complicated things.

"You think of me as a friend?" I asked hesitantly.

"Yes. As a friend."

My heart sank as his words sank in. Here I was attracted to him and I was just a friend to him. I know I had no experience in these matters, but my body, my Cat, knew what was happening.