Dark as Daylight Ch. 14

"That's a nice area, right next to the Museum of Art."

"How would you know that?"

"Lady, I am not a country bumpkin. I am a world traveler. I have been all over Italy, Austria, Switzerland, and Spain, with my family. They are very wealthy, but I prefer to make my own way in this world. I am told I have a great uncle somewhere that is extremely wealthy and constantly sends my grandparents money. They are partners in a vineyard, in the South of Italy, along the Adriatic coast. Everybody told them it is the wrong place to make wine, but you have never tasted wine so good in your entire life. When we get married, I'll take you there."

"I'm not quitting my job until I have my 20 years in."

"Laura, you're not quitting your job, until you want to quit your job. I don't care if it's 20 years or 30 years. When you want to quit you will quit. Is that okay with you?"

"Yes, I think that works out fine."

"Do you want children?"

"I'm too old to have a child."

"If the doctors say you're too old to have a child, would you consider adopting a child?"

"I would, if we could control the woman who was bearing it. I would not take a chance on adopting a child, who might look normal now, and wind up having every malady to science later. It would not be fair to us, and we are starting out very late in life to have a young child with youthful diseases. If this is a deal-breaker with you, I will understand if you want out."

"No it is not a deal-breaker with me. The only deal-breaker with me would be if you walked up to me and said to my face you didn't love me, and meant it. Can you say that to me; Laura Burkart?"

"I have to take the Attorney General back to Washington. I'll see you Friday afternoon at Newark. I'll ask the boys what flight you are on."

"Unless you want to leave here with 2 broken feet, you will answer my question."

"I was not the one that got my ass kicked."

"I'm willing to try again, are you? Answer my question Laura, can you say to my face you don't love me?"

"Joe, I'm scared to death. I have never felt this way before. I don't know how to act around you. I was in a warehouse with my partner and a maniac who had killed women and children, and I knew how to act. I look at you and I don't know how to act. I'm frightened of how I feel about you. One word from you could make my world fall apart. I've never let a man have that power over me. I'm insane over you, I also want to beat the shit out of you, because I'm afraid of you."

"Say the words Laura, if you say the right words you will not be frightened. It will take a load off your chest, and you will finally make a commitment. I'll still let you beat the shit out of me, but I will do my best not to let that happen. Say the words, and Friday you will get your ring."

"If you break your promise, you're going to be a eunuch."

"Still between a size 7 ¼ to 7 ½, I will not forget, as long as you say the words."

"Laura we have to leave."

"I have to take the Attorney General to Washington."

"If you don't say the words, you don't get the ring."

"You're such a bastard."

"Say the words. 3 little words, and you can leave."

"Laura let's go."

"I'm not going with you. I have unfinished business here. The Attorney General will understand."

"No problem, 8 of us are more than enough to protect him."

"So help me God Willie, if you lose him I'm going to give you the rectal exam from hell."

"Just the thought of that gives me goosebumps, Laura. Have a good time. I'd like to be here when you beat the shit out of him again."

"I'll send you a video."

"Laura Burkart, just because you're staying here does not let you off the hook. Say those 3 little words."

"If you hurt me, I'll kill you."

"I anticipate hurting you a lot. I'm going to use the across shoulder block, the reverse neck block, a chokehold, a knee to the buttocks, and several other things to your body. You better get used to it Lady."

"Come down here Joseph; I have something for you."

"Why don't I like this. We are only 14 inches apart. I should be able to hear you from up here."

"Do you want to hear those 3 little words?"

"I want to hear 3 particular little words."

"Lean down so I can whisper them in your ear."

"Am I going to have an ear, when I stand up?"

"Of course you are, you wimp."

Laura took his head in her hands and whispered, "I love you, Joseph Constantine, but I have several more words for you. Your death will come swiftly, if you hurt me during our marriage."

"Did you just answer my question?"

"What question was that Joseph?"

"You know what question it was. Did you just answer it?"

"Do you see my left hand?"

Women have one track minds. "Where Is My Ring?"

"You should be happy I didn't tell everyone I didn't wait for the ring before we went to bed together. You should be happy I didn't tell everyone that you wimped out, and went to sleep, before I was satisfied."

"After 5 times Laura, a man needs time to recuperate."

"Did you need 6 hours and 15 minutes of sleep to recuperate, Joseph? Did a tiny 5-foot-tall midget cut down a mighty oak tree down to size?"

"Tom called you a midget, not me. I wanted to live through the night. He had a death wish."

"You laughed when he called me a midget."

"Yes I did, because I knew how you were going to react. Tom was in pain shortly afterwards. Getting back to my original inquiry; did you just answer my question?"

"Are you really that dense Joseph?"

"You said you love me. I heard that loud and clear. My question to you was 'Laura Burkart will you marry me?' This is a one-word answer. I promise never to cheat on you. I promise to love you always. I promise never to leave you. I promise to protect you with every ounce of strength in my body. Whether you want to take a trip around the universe on this large bubble we are making or not, I will always be at your side. If you are on duty, and don't want me near you, I will stay away. I will worry, as all good husbands should, when their wives are putting their lives in jeopardy, in defense of their country. I will stay by the phone, until you call and tell me you are fine. I can't promise that I will always obey you, because you are a bitch, and I am a prick. You are not perfect, and neither am I.

I am a hardheaded Italian. You are a hardheaded mongrel. We should be perfect together, but only if you answer this question. Laura will you marry me?"

"How about a trial marriage for 1 year. No paperwork or anything. We will just live together to see how we work out?"

"Do you want a ring on your finger or not?"

"You are a real bastard Joseph."

"You are a real bitch, Laura. I believe I just said that about you. I want you, forever. You can either take me as I am, or you can throw me away. I love you, and you said you love me. I know you are frightened of making a life long commitment. You can always tell the police that you accidentally killed me, while we were fighting on the mats."

"You know I can't do that; I am an officer of the law."

"I don't want you to go to jail, because of me. That's how much I love you. It's time for you to make a decision. If you say no, I will walk away, with a broken heart. If you say yes, I have another question to ask you."

"Joseph, you would have made an excellent lawyer. You ask a question, and you get an answer. The answer prompts another question. That's the Socratic method, and the questions and answers keep coming."

"Since you do not want to answer my question, I'm going to have to take it as a 'No.' You will be the 4^th woman to break my heart. I really thought you were the one. Goodbye Laura, I will try to stay out of your way until you leave tomorrow."

Joe turned and started heading towards his room. He didn't make it 10 steps before his knees collapsed, and an instant later, he was in a chokehold. He thought it was Tom trying to keep him from leaving but it wasn't.

"You bastard, you promised never to leave me. At the first sign of trouble, you turn and run away."

Joe couldn't talk, hell he couldn't breathe. Her hold around his neck was so strong, he was losing consciousness. Laura didn't realize it, until she yelled at him.

"Answer me you bastard."

When she shook his head, and it reacted like a ragdoll, she realized what she was doing. She released him, immediately, and turned him over. His lips were blue, and his eyes were not reactive.

She yelled, as she started chest compressions, "Someone get me an oxygen mask here immediately. I may have killed him."

Tom was the first one at his side.

"You do mouth-to-mouth. I don't want to kiss him. I'll do the chest compressions. If you killed him, I will put a bullet between your eyes."

"You won't have to; I'll do it myself."

The oxygen tank and mask was there in less then 30 seconds. Laura opened the valve, but the mask over his face, and the elastic band behind his head.

"Come on you idiot; breathe. We have opera tickets for Saturday night, 8^th row center. You have to wear a tux, and I have to wear a gown. Breathe you son of a bitch, breathe."

Tom said, "He has a heartbeat. He's breathing on his own. Get away from him Laura. Whatever you two were saying to each other, I don't think he wants to hear anymore of it."

"You couldn't be more wrong if you wanted to Tom. You can stand 10 feet away, if you want, but we have to talk. He thought I was going to be number 4. I don't want to be. I've lived alone for so long, and he is so strong, he frightens me."

"Joe is a pussycat, dammit. Don't let his outward bravado worry you. He could have scared Hitler into surrendering, but in his private life, he is so laid back, he's like a beanbag. Which ever way you shift, the bag goes with you."

In a soft voice Joe said, "Kill her! She's like a tank running over an infantryman. You never hear or see her coming, until you are being pulled under the treads. First she takes out your knees, and then she chokes you to death."

"Tom, please tell me you didn't give me mouth-to-mouth; I think I would rather be dead."

"Someone had to do it, and Laura was giving you chest compressions. I will admit you have very kissable lips."

"Who saw you do that to me? I will have to kill you, and all of them."

"I gave you mouth-to-mouth, not him. He didn't want to kiss you, because he was afraid you might have an incurable disease. He knew we kissed, so I was elected to perform that duty."

"Tom leave us alone for a moment."

"She just tried to kill you, and you want to be left alone with her?"

"I want to find out why she wanted to kill me."

"I can answer that for you."

"Go away."

"Some friend you are."

"Okay Laura, you have the floor. You just told me you didn't want to marry me. I'm walking away, you tackle me from behind, and nearly choke me to death. Would you please tell me what's going on, or should I restrict you to your room, until we get you out of here tomorrow?"

"You promised never to leave me, and at the first sign of trouble, you turn and run. I told you I'm frightened of you. I've lived alone for so long, I don't know if I can stand up to you in a long term relationship. You are the first person I can say I actually love. I don't want you to hurt me, because I will be crushed if you do. I don't know if I will be able to survive if that happens.

In my professional life, I am stronger than steel. In my private life, as long as I am alone, I can deal with the loneliness, by having a few very good friends. They are all women. I have never let a man into my life, since I left college. Don't get me wrong, I've gotten laid, every now and again, but mostly it was a one and done. I have had more sex with you, in the last few days, then I've had since I was 19 years old. I need two promises from you, and you have to mean it, when you agree to them.

1. You will never hurt me by going out with other women, or being verbally abusive, and ridiculing me in public.

2. You will never divorce me. I know that you say how much you love me. But in the future, we don't know how things will change. Number 2, brings a problem with number one. If we secretly separate, you are going to want to go out with other women, and you promised me that you wouldn't.

So before you agree to these terms, I want you to think about them, not with your heart, or with your dick. I want you to think about them with your head. I want to marry you, but most marriages don't come with terms like these. Many come with codicils about money, and where you are going to live. I don't believe I know of any that come with restrictions like these. Please take your time and think this over. I nearly strangled you to death, because you walked away from me before I could explain my fears to you. I want to marry you Joseph, but it's going to be very hard on you and me."

"Laura correct me if I'm wrong. You did say you wanted to marry me, didn't you?"

"Yes, Joseph, I did."

"Do you want a big wedding or a little wedding?"

"Joseph please think about this, before you jump."

"Laura, you are the only thing I've been thinking about since we met. I accept your conditions. Catholics marry for life. Regardless of my religion, I want you for my wife, and I want you forever. I knew it before Tom started in on us. There was something about you that was more than special. Yes, I wanted into your pants immediately. You are so very beautiful, any man would. My problem was my heart, and my brain got involved. It wasn't only junior that wanted you. My whole body did.

You thought I was joking, when I asked you to marry me the first time. I was never more serious in my life. I asked you and I asked you and I asked you to marry me, and you wouldn't answer me. You wouldn't say yes, but you wouldn't say no either. You kept me on a string, and then you beat the crap out of me in the gym. I don't believe Tom ever laughed louder in his life. When he led his men to my room, the things he said about me were not at all complementary. I invited him to the gym when I was feeling better, but he declined because of his bad back. Tom doesn't have a bad back."

"Back to where I started this conversation, Laura, do you want a big wedding, or a small wedding? We are going to have it in Washington, because that is where most of your friends are. Please don't leave me hanging on a string again. Tell me what you want, and you will have it."

"Will your parents come in from Italy?"

"Only a nuclear war would keep them away from my wedding. They swore it would never happen to me, after the 3^rd one failed miserably."

"How many will be coming?"

"Do you want a low number, or a maximum number?"

"I think we should go with a maximum number, just in case your entire family decides to come."

"Okay, that would be my grandmothers, and grandfathers, and my mother and father. My 2 aunts, and their husbands. Their 7 children, plus their 11 children. My 3 brothers, their wives, their 10 children. My 2 sisters, their husbands, their 13 children, and at last count, they have 19 grandchildren already.

Then you have to take into consideration the families of the husbands..."

"Joseph stop, my head is spinning. Give me an approximate final number, please."

"At our last family gathering, three and one half years ago, at my grandmother's estate, there were 273 of us."

"Holy shit; you have a very fertile family."

"Why do you think I am considered the black sheep of the family?"

"I can just imagine what they say about you at family gatherings."

"It all started with 4 grandparents, and it exploded from there."

"We can do the wedding in 1 of 2 ways to save your large family a great deal of money. We can have a small wedding here, in Washington, and a church wedding in Italy. We can honeymoon in Italy. I'm sure you would love to introduce me to all the young women who trained you in the art of sex."

"Is someone looking for a spanking?"

"I nearly killed you Joseph. I think I might deserve one."

"I'll save that one for later. I like your idea about two weddings. Do you ski?"

"I do ski, but not very well."

"You can't leave, until after you catch this guy that's trying to blow up the rocket. We will keep the date of the wedding on hold, until then. We will take professional pictures of you and I, and send them to Italy, with a ring on your finger.

We will announce our pending nuptials, but the date is uncertain, because of your current assignment. When it is completed, we will give them 2 months notice to set up a church wedding, near our home. We will fly in, 2 weeks in advance, to meet everyone. Is that okay with you, Laura, or would you like more time?"

"I think your mother would kill you if you did it any other way."

"When did you start talking to my mother that you know her so well?"

"Let's just call it 'Woman's Intuition."

"If you think my mother's bad, wait until you meet my grandmother. She will look into your eyes and tell you if you are a good person or a bad person. She will tell you if you are rich or poor. She will tell you if you are worthy of marrying someone in her family. She will not hold anything back. She has no filter between her brain and her mouth."

"Advise your grandmother that I carry 2 guns. A big one on my hip, and a little one around my ankle. If I don't like what she says, we may have a funeral before or after the wedding."

"Good God Laura, talk about not having a filter between your brain and your mouth. Kiss me before I turn you in."

"Do you think that asshole is well enough to get up off the floor now?"

"He's still dizzy, Tom. Would you give him a hand, and help him up slowly?" Be careful of your back, Joe told me you have a problem with it."

"It's an old joke between Joe and I. There's nothing wrong with my back."

"It's a great way of getting out of heavy lifting. Joe is 220 pounds, are you sure you're up to it."

"Get out of the way tiny; I'll get him up."

Joe adjusted his weight onto his left hip and elbow, to give Tom access to his right side.

"Are you ready Joe?"

"Nice and easy Tom, the Earth is spinning the wrong way."

As soon as Tom began balancing his weight to lift him, Joe slid his right leg up, rolled the left side of his body down, and pushed Tom up and over him, using Toms' weight, and leverage against him.

Tom screamed as he was airborne, and landed on his back about 8 feet away, screaming at his friend.

"You no good, lousy, cock sucking, son of a bitch. The next time you are on the floor, dying, I'm going to leave you there."

Laura looked down at him.

"I will give you 3 guesses why you are lying here like this Thomas. Why would your best friend, in the entire world, do something so evil that everyone is laughing? Think hard about what you said about me, as you moved to help Joseph."

"I didn't call you a midget."

"No you didn't. What disparaging word did you use in reference to me, Thomas? Why would Joseph have taken action against you to save my honor? I beat the crap out of him in the gym, and everyone saw me do it. I nearly strangled him to death here, and almost everyone watched me do it. What did you have the gall to call me, Thomas, before I take you into the gym, and leave pieces of you on all 4 walls, plus the ceiling and the floor?"

Joe said, "When you were a child, and watched Sesame Street on television, they did a little skit that went like this, Tom. 'One of these things is not like the other.' The next time you do something wrong, I won't stop her from taking a pound of flesh from your ass."