Dave and His Therapist Ch. 02

Previously: "I have to go back to Marcus, Jack." I kissed him softly this time and I was surprised by the groan I let out. I was in complete shock. I forced myself away from him, hopped out of his Ford F-150 and walked to my car. I felt his eyes watching me. For some reason, I knew he was smiling. This scared the shit out of me. What am I thinking? I'm not ready for some hot, steamy, gay-porn action. I'm married with a great son. I'm not supposed to be gay!

It's been two weeks and my sessions with Jack, I mean, Dr. Graham, have been short and uncomfortable. I've heard it said that it's foolish to avoid someone, otherwise things will become much worse. He's tried to talk about it and he's even gone as far as calling the house number, but all I do is ignore him. The more I seem to ignore him, the worse it gets. It's because I miss him. I miss that day at the beach. I miss how he spoke with Marcus, my son. I miss how we kissed, how our lips felt united. Nothing felt wrong. And now it all feels wrong. I'm married with a son and fooling around with my therapist. I'm tempted to do so many wrong things.

The phone rings while I'm reading in bed. It's about 10pm and I reach over to pick it up. I answer and realize it's my therapist.

"Listen to me, David. I can't be on the phone long 'cause I'm still in my office. Meet me at Carmine's in an hour. Please be there. Hear me out. Deal?"

"Fine. Make it half-hour." I ordered.

"That's pushing it for me, I--"

"Then I won't be there. Half-hour, Jack." I hang up and surprise myself by rushing to my closet. I was happy with the conversation; he took charge by calling and I took charge by pushing him to be there. I leave a note on the bathroom door telling my wife that a client has asked to see me. It's common from my job so I knew she'd think nothing of it.

I look into my closet and pick out a light red polo shirt. I put on some cargo pants and quickly spray on some Black Code cologne by Armani. I don't really know what to expect tonight but I do know that I want to be prepared for anything. Part of me hopes for another kiss and part of me wants to completely end it.

I arrive there as he arrives about two minutes later. I stare at him and he guides me to a booth seat in the corner of the restaurant. He waves to a man I'm assuming is the owner. He waves back and smiles lightly. I assume they know each other fairly well. We take our seats and he crosses his hands on the table while staring at them. It's only when he starts speaking does he hold his stare with my eyes.

"I want to talk to you about how I feel. I'm not saying I'm here to marry you, love you, worship you, but I do feel we have a connection- a bond. It is a bond that is rare, just like many other wonderful things like trust, a real friendship, or a love that never dies. What I'm trying to say is that I want to take a risk in my life. I want it to be with you and if you tell me to forget it, fine, but that means I cannot be your therapist, I cannot be your friend and I cannot be in your mind whatsoever. I'm not good at telling the truth, but with you it's different. I feel an urge to be honest and I honestly like you. I like your son and I like the way you dress, but that's not the most important. As silly as this may sound, I really liked the way your... uhh, I like..." He stutters for a few seconds.

"Like what?" I ask plainly, probably too coldly.

"I like the way I feel physically and emotionally with you. That's all." He looked at me and smiled softly. His smile made every raw emotion melt away. I shifted in my seat and thought of something to say. This is where people in Hollywood say the perfect line, but honestly, I can't think of one word to say. I'm happy, I'm confused, I'm scared, and I'm relieved.

"Is it too late to order a drink here? I mean, a soda beverage, not beer or anything. My mouth feels very dry all of a sudden."

He smiled and a small giggle slipped through his smile.

"Yeah..." He suddenly yells over at the guy I saw when I first walked in. "Paul, get us something to drink. Two cokes!" He looks at me again and just waits.

"I don't want you constantly judging me, using your therapy skills on me, you know. You don't always have to wait to listen because there is such a thing as speaking up. If you have a question, ask it. It doesn't matter what it is, just ask it. I don't get why you want me, well..." I paused for a minute or so, "Yeah, okay, I kind of do, but honestly, I'm not that different than any other guy. I also don't see how you and I will work. I'm married. Married. I gave my heart away a long time ago. I just... I can't kiss you if it doesn't mean anything, or if it won't mean anything ever. This isn't easy." I sigh really loudly and clasp my hands to my arms as I lean in to be an inch closer. It isn't on purpose. I'm just frustrated with how difficult these situations are.

He sips on his Coke and puts it down. "Paul, put on something mellow... will you?" Jack stands and holds out his hand to me. "Dance with me." I almost choke on the piece of ice I sucked on in my mouth. I drop it back into my cup and stumble on my words. "What.. I, I, I, I don't, don't dance ... I don't dance at all!" He rolls his eyes and takes my hand and pulls me out. He's holding my waist and pulling me beside him. "If you can't listen to the music and dance to it, dance to how you feel inside here." He rests his hand on my heart.

I dance with him as I have my head on his shoulder. My hand is in his, his other hand on my waist and my other hand rustling through his thick brown hair. "You do know how to dance... very well, I might add." He leaned back and looked at me. He kept dancing while holding my gaze with his. Neither of us heard the song end, so we kept going.

He ended the night by giving me a kiss on the cheek and walking me out to the car. We talked for another half-hour and then I said that I really had to go. "Come to the fair with me Saturday." I told him I would and we had many more dates after that. Every night made me want him sexually more and every time I saw him made me want to say those three words to him more.

"Darling, I'm leaving for Chicago for five days. I'd like to take Marcus with me. Is that okay with you?" My wife, Ellie asks one Thursday morning.

"Uh, why are you going to Chicago and Marcus can't be left alone in that bustling city," I said.

"Yes, sweetheart, I know. I have one thing to do two days into the trip, but it will only last one hour. Otherwise, I would like to have alone time with my son. Will you be all right by yourself?"

"I guess, yeah. When do you leave?" I asked while holding the newspaper.

"Marcus and I leave tomorrow afternoon at two. We will be back Wednesday around six at night. It was the only flight I could get. Sorry." She touches my shoulder and leans over to kiss me. I barely kiss her back.

"How are you doing, Dave?"

"Dr. Graham, I'm doing okay. My wife left today for Chicago. She took Marcus with her. I miss him a lot. You know how you wish for alone time constantly and when you get it, you don't want it? Yeah, that's how it is."

"Well... I have no more patients for today. I could come over, if that is, you'll let me."

I stare wide-eyed at him and all I can do is focus on my breathing normally again. "Yeah... come with me."

"Oh, I'll come with you, any time you want. My pleasure!" He stands up and puts on suit jacket. He takes a few things with him and tells me that he'll come to my car in about five minutes. He didn't want it to look too suspicious so he'd have a chitchat with the secretary.

"No flirting with her." I tell him.

"No, me? Never!" He smiles widely and his eyes almost twinkle. I love it.

"You little fucker." I sarcastically say.

I wait by my car and a half-hour later, he's with me at my house. I let him inside and show him around. We hang around, watch T.V., look at my music collection together, drink a beer and laugh about each other's jokes. An awkward moment rolls around and we stare at each other. He slams down his beer and forces a kiss on me. He grabs my face and kisses me so hard I can hardly kiss him back. Oddly, his beer breath turns me on, and his control over me turns me on more. I feel my pants tighten and I realize I am growing an erection. I push him off me and he looks confused until I take his hand.

I lead him to my bedroom and face him. "This is where I want you." I say to him, astounded that I said it out-loud. He kisses me softly and climbs onto me once I'm lying on the bed. We make out for what seems to be years and slowly, he starts to fumble under my shirt. He pushes his hands up my shirt and rubs them on my bare skin. I sit up and raise my hands. He takes the shirt off and stares at me.

"You work out?" He asks.

"You can't tell?" I ask back.

"Oh, fuck yeah. God, you're body is gorgeous. I've always thought of this, ever since I first laid eyes on you." He bent down to kiss my stomach and spread them all around my chest. He kissed my apple, my collar bone, and eventually sucked and flicked on each nipple. I was groaning and covering my eyes because of disbelief. I had thought of this quite a few times and always came at the thought of him doing things like this to me.

I unbutton his white shirt and throw the shirt off to the floor. I rub my hands over his body and up to his shoulders and down his arms. "You're just as beautiful, Jack." I lean up to place a kiss on his lips but he moved back. He did that a few times until I pushed him down so that all his weight was on me. It was the only way I'd win and I'd get to kiss him.

He placed his hand on my hip and rubbed downward. "I have to see you," he breathes loudly. His eyes are still closed, ironically. I let his hands roam my body and waited for him to take off my pants and boxers. I jump unexpectedly to the brush of his hand on my erection. He smiles up at me and slowly removes my clothing.

I lay naked in front of him and he cannot help but stare at the length of my body. He whispers words of beauty and smiles softly as he lightly strokes my stomach. His eyes move downward towards my cock and he almost giggles to himself at the sight of how hard I am since he's been here in my room with me. He lies down beside me and puts his arm around my stomach. He slides closer to me, where I can feel his cock through his pants pressing against my ass.

"I just wanted to see you for now. You're perfect..." I couldn't understand the rest of his words as he trailed off to a soundless sleep.

"Morning sunshine! I made breakfast for you. It took me a while to find what I needed, but the pancakes are ready. Oh, and they are chocolate chip if you don't mind." He smiles widely and crawls onto the bed to tower over me. He leans down and kisses me and I'm surprised at the taste of Colgate toothpaste. I groan into the kiss and wrap my arms around him. He breaks the kiss and hovers over me.

"Well, c'mon you slowpoke!" He gives me that fake look of frustration where he tries so hard to pout and look annoyed that you can see the signs of an inward smile.

"Do I have to start tickling you?" I immediately move and try to escape, but he grabs a hold of me just to push me right back down. His hands went exactly for my tickle spot and I busted out in a soar of laughter. I tried so hard to say stop and don't, but he pretended not to understand. There was only one thing I could do to save myself, so I grabbed his shoulders and turned him around so that I was on top. I pressed my entire body against him and was surprised to feel his cock growing. I didn't let that affect my chance to have power over him. I grabbed his hands and clasped them with mine. I pinned him to the bed and lunged for his mouth. I kissed him with everything I had to give.

"Mmm... Dr. Graham... you taste so good." I mumbled through kisses.

"Yeah? Mmm, god... I want... you so... much." He panted loudly.

I stopped kissing him and asked him if he wanted to fuck me. He looked at me with a blank expression and finally came to a conclusion. He said, "No" very quietly.

"Why not?" I ask, confused and feeling a hint of pain stabbing at my heart.

"Because." He said as he forced himself to look away. "Let's go have breakfast before it gets too cold." He got out of bed and tossed me my boxers.

For the next two days, Jack and I simply watched movies, listened and danced to music and talked about us for many hours. He asked about my childhood, my adolescent years and how I met my current wife. I asked him about his life and found out he was a twin, never married because of his feelings towards men more than women. He suffered some abuse from the hand of his father when he was a teenager and his mother died of cancer when he was only twenty.

The morning before my wife would be home, I asked him why he didn't want to fuck me and he told me to sit down.

"I don't fuck Dave. If I wanted that, I'd have gone to a strip joint or find a glory hole in one of those places they have down on 34th street. I never go there anymore because I've met you. In some ways, you've changed how I act, and you make me think."

"So what do I have to do to get you to want me? I've thought about it a lot and I've come to the conclusion where I want to try a relationship with you. It is wrong for me to ... cheat on my wife, but she rarely notices my needs. I've never cheated on her before you came along and no it's not your fault. I made that choice. I just want you to want me, I guess."

"Then you have to say it correctly." He stood up and said he had to go to work to see three clients and then he'd come back. I spent the rest of the day thinking what he possibly meant and all of a sudden, it dawned on me. The feeling was overwhelming and tears formed at the corner of my eyes.