David

"And tell them what? That I almost sucked his cock? They'd laugh at me anyway. Probably ask why I didn't just kick his ass."

"I am more interested in the reaction of this girl, Jeff said. You say she was your girl friend?

How long were you together?"

"Over two years, but she. . ."

"Jesus. Two fucking years," Jeff said. "Listen man, if she wouldn't stand by you for this little thing, how were you ever gonna trust her if you ran into real problems? Like, I dunno, cancer. A car accident or something serious? I say good riddance. I had one just like her. They say they love you and when the rain comes down, instead of huddling under the umbrella with you, they take off for sunny skies. You're lucky if they don't take the umbrella with them. Believe me, I know the type You should. . ."

"But, but wait, hold on," Neal interrupts." I thought you were gay? You've had, er, uh, been with girls?"

"I never told you I was gay, Neal, you assumed that."

"But you, but Howard, I saw, I thought. . ."

"Yeah, I like Howard all right. But maybe, maybe not. He hasn't asked. Neither have I. Now listen carefully. Even if I were gay, which I'm not. Being gay doesn't mean I would jump in bed with every guy I see. This is your own prejudice making you feel so bad. I am a bisexual male. That means I like to make love to women and men. . . I believe it is in the normal life cycle of a man to like sex with anyone and everyone, at least he has the ability to enjoy sex with either gender. Like Gore Vidal, I believe 'homosexual' is an adjective, not a noun. . ."

"Who?" Neal interrupted.

Jeff smiled at Neal's ignorance of Gore Vidal and continued, "Never mind it doesn't matter. What I am saying is that the words describe the acts, not the person. Hence there are homosexual actions, but not homosexual people."

But I thought, I. . ."

"Yes, I know, I heard you earlier, I quote, 'There's no such thing as bi, you're ether queer or you're not'. But you are wrong and I am the living proof. I have been married. . . to a woman. I liked it. I like being married. I would stay married if I could find a woman who would accept my occasional craving for a nice hard cock. On the other hand, I really can not see myself married to, or in a full time relationship with a man. That's me. That's who I am. Take it or leave it. And please do not label me anything.

Jeff saw that Neal wanted to make a comment, but cut him off. "Wait, wait, don't say anything just yet. I want to tell you about Connie. My dearest beloved Connie. We met while I was still trying to deny the female side of myself. I mean I knew I had liked the few experiences I had had with other boys, but thought I had outgrown them, that they were the product of horniness rather than gay tendencies. I love Connie to this day. But after we were together for three years, I started to get interested in cocks again.

I tried to explain to her that it had nothing to do with our relationship, would in no way compromise my love for her, that she could even participate with me if she wanted, you know, threesomes. We tried to work on it, tried to work it out, but in the end she could only see it as unfaithfulness. And I could only go so long unfulfilled, so we broke up. I still love her, but I can't have her and be myself. Strange irony is, now that we are divorced, I still go see her from time to time. We sometimes have great sex together."

"So now I am single and will probably stay single. I have sex with men sometimes. I have sex with women sometimes. It all depends who I am attracted to and the circumstances. Before you speak, Neal, I have one more thing I have to say to you. A confession of sorts. That day, in the park, I was sort of stalking you. I had seen you for only a moment about a month before. Even with that stupid looking helmet on, I was taken by your good looks. I started hanging out in Grant Park, hoping I would see you there again. And once after that you almost ran me over with your bike. I had just about decided I was giving up on ever finding you; looked up, and there you were, bouncing on the waves like a frickin' blond bobber. What the fuck was I gonna do, let you bob your way all the way to Benton Harbor? So I jumped in. And voila, here we both are."

"Wow!" Howard said. "And there I was a few minutes later, seeing this nut." pointing with his thumb, "jumping in the lake. And now here are the three of us. Isn't life a strange and interesting thing?" You feel any better, Neal?"

"Actually I do feel a bit better, like everything is not so god awful serious."

"Of course, Neal. Of course it is serious. A person's sexual nature, orientation, whatever, is serious. But it should never be fatal! Here you are about to kill yourself over something that happened to Jeff years ago."

Howard's buzzer announced an inter-building communication. "Yep," he said into the device.

"It's me Roger, Mr Breen."

"Yes Roger?"

"Well, Mr. B, I spoke ta Armand at Gucci's. He says ta tell ya he has a fashion show on premises tonight and dere is no way he can come ta you. He says he can come by tomorrow morning, if dat's okay."

"Okay, Roger, thanks for trying, tell Armand I shall see him then."

"Well, Neal, Jeff, looks like you guys are stuck here until at least nine in the morning. That is the earliest the laundry can deliver your clothes. I was going to buy you each a new wardrobe tonight, but the manager cannot come tonight.

"I gotta go home," Jeff said, a touch of panic in his voice, I gotta work on Monday."

"Not necessarily," Howard spoke, "I employ thousands of people. If you lose your job you can work for me. But whatever you decide will be okay with me. I could put you in a taxi. They probably wouldn't be too disturbed by a man in a bathrobe. Neal, same goes for you."

The young men both elected to spend the night and deal with the issues in the morning. All three men were exhausted from the adrenaline rush earlier in the day. The two younger men finished their brandy and went off to the rooms Howard had assigned them, leaving Buddy sipping his and nodding gently over the Chicago skyline, a self satisfied smile playing softly across his lips.

Jeff, up in the middle of the night to find the bathroom, passed the doorway of the room where Neal lay sleeping. The door was ajar. The full moon shone through the vast window-wall of the bedroom, casting an eerie glow like an aura over Neal's pale white sleeping form, his curly blond hair framing his head like a halo. Jeff could barely stand to watch, slipped down toward the bathroom. As he turned to the right he noticed something he thought was odd. Howard's door stood wide open. A shaft of neon blue illuminated the deep pile carpet of the hallway. Jeff smiled. Howard's fish tank was on. Did fish sleep, he wondered? Taken by curiosity, not about sleeping fish, but about Howard sleeping, he slid surreptitiously into the bedroom, sidled up to the foot of the bed. Despite the diaphanous draping that covered the four poster on two sides, he could clearly see Howard sprawled on his back in the reflected moonlight off the lake, like a tableau behind a scrim.

For a large man of forty-two, Howard was amazingly fit and trim, his abs and pecs taut, legs and arms well-muscled and toned. His large brown uncut cock lay along his thigh, its head halfway to his knee. As Jeff watched, Howard rolled to his side, murmuring something in his sleep. Acting from pure instinct, Jeff moved to the open side of the bed, crawled carefully across and laid down, stretching out fully against Howard's back. Immediately Jeff's cock began to lengthen, filling the space along Howard's ass crack. Still asleep, Howard responded, involuntarily wriggling his tight butt against Jeff's hardening cock.

Jeff reached over Howard's large hard body, wrapped his fingers gently around the older man's cock, awed by its size and heft in his fist. The fat vein on the underside pulsed, filled, pulsed again.

"Oh God, Jeff whispered in the older man's ear, I want you so bad." Jeff kissed Howard's shoulders, the back of his neck. Howard moaned in pleasure, arching his back for more. With each kiss, each moan, Jeff could feel Howard's cock respond, harden, lengthen. Jeff worked his way down the other man's spine, soft feathery kisses mixed with quick sharp nips of his teeth. Howard rolled back and forth seeking more, seeking release. Howard's fat cock grew and grew as Jeff began to slowly jack it, sliding the loose wrinkled foreskin down over the sensitive head, then back again tight against his belly. Jeff did not let go as his lips, his mouth, his teeth reached the firm round globes of Howard's ass cheeks; burying his face in their sweet fullness, inhaling the funky man smell of the cock not far away. He licked the cheeks, sucked on them, bit them sharply 'til Howard cried out.

At last he spread their fullness with his thumbs and wetly licked the full length between them. Howard wriggled his ass hole back against Jeff's tongue, yearning for penetration. Jeff increased the intensity of his licking, centering directly on Howard's tight puckered hole and probing inside with his tongue. When he judged the hole was wet enough, spread enough, he deftly inserted the tip of his middle finger, still licking and sucking around its edges. Howard turned quickly, taking Jeff completely by surprise. The huge dick flopped from Jeff's fist, instead brushing wetly against his face. Howard finished rolling, grabbed Jeff's head, one hand on each ear, and guided it directly to his cock head, now dripping precum from its wrinkled foreskin. He spoke only a single, simple word, but Jeff understood now that the tables had turned. One word. Not a request. A command.

"Open," Howard said. And Jeff complied, his mouth and throat instantly filled to choking with bulging cock. At first Howard held his own hips still, using his tight grip on Jeff's head to pull the young man's face on and off his massive cock, but once the rhythm was established, he fucked his hips hard as he pulled Jeff's head forward.

Jeff gasped and gagged and squirmed, fighting for air. He had sucked cocks before, more than a few, but never one so massive, and never so roughly.

As quickly as he began, Howard withdrew. Jeff lay on his back, panting. He had not felt so helpless, so vulnerable since that very first time he had been picked up hitchhiking, years before. He had been terrified, yet the fear had intensified his arousal. Tonight, this night, he was not afraid. But he was more excited than he had ever been. His small lean cock was painfully hard, his foreskin achingly taut, locked behind its bulging head. He felt open, free, without boundaries.

Howard descended on him, kneeling between his legs, swallowing his penis fully, but slowly, softly, tenderly. His lips, his teeth, moved from there, out across Jeff's pale thighs, sometimes kissing lovingly, sometimes licking, interspersing sharp painful nips when Jeff least expected, driving Jeff's hips upward into Howard's stroking fist. When the older man's kisses and nibbles reached Jeff's neck, Jeff melted. His body, his spirit, seemed to flow outward. For a moment he feared he would piss himself, and then Howard's lips met his. It was a lover's kiss that stayed and stayed. Soft like the wings of a butterfly, yet hot, so fervent were their kisses. And those long, hot, loving kisses ignited a flame in Jeff, driving his excitement higher and higher, toward that loss of self that is so consuming. But Howard was not about to let Jeff end their encounter so soon.

In complete control now, Howard kissed his way back down Jeff's body to his dick once more, Taking the head lightly in his lips, he swirled is tongue round and round, flicked the tip of his tongue in Jeff's tiny cock lips. He pursed his lips and slid them down the bulging vein on the underside of Jeff's penis, continuing on to the young man's tight balls, and down, slobbering on the sensitive area between balls he bit there quite sharply. While Jeff was reacting to the sharp pain on the so sensitive area Howard popped one finger into Jeff's tight brown ass ring.

"Oh," Jeff cried at the sudden intrusion. He had indulged in some ass play, had ass fucked a few other men, had enjoyed that; had even tried a very slim vibrator once, but had not enjoyed it. So far he had turned down all attempts at 'the real thing',considering himself a 'top'.

But tonight, this night, Howard had taken charge. He would be the one making the decisions, the choices. Jeff began to have visions of that huge uncut piece off flesh burrowing deep in his tender ass. Oddly, his excitement soared at the image.

Howard continued to suck Jeff off. The liquid dripping from his mouth made excellent lubrication for the insertion of a second finger. He reached deep inside, bending his fingers back toward Jeff's cock, to massage the young man's prostate. Jeff's legs began to shake uncontrollably. His feet kicked on the memory foam surface then stiffened, toes pointing. Once again, Howard backed off. He had Jeff tottering on the brink, ready to fall or soar.

Effortlessly, the big man crossed Jeff's feet and flipped him over. His muscular arm went under Jeff's waist, pulling up as his knees forced Jeff's legs apart. Jeff now knelt, Howard behind, between his legs. With the fingers of one hand Howard spread Jeff's cheeks as far as he could.

The other hand rubbed the head of the huge cock up and down, pausing at the rosebud of his anus to lubricate there with a circular motion. Howard leaned over Jeff's back, rubbing his goatee and tickler on the back of Jeff's neck and shoulders. He paused, his cock head, the size of a large jawbreaker, poised at Jeff's tender entrance. Laying the flats of his hands on Jeff's ribs, he eased him back as he slowly pressed his hips forward. Jeff trembled with anticipation and fear. He felt the huge cock tight against him, ready to pierce. Involuntarily he clenched his sphincter. As a result, Howard had difficulty penetrating.

He spoke softly to Jeff. "It's okay, it'll be okay, you'll be okay." Easing forward he tried once again to breach the fortress of Jeff's defenses. Jeff continued to resist. "Cumon, Jeff, try to relax, my friend. It'll hurt at first, but you will soon love it. I promise you. Let go, lover, cumon."

Jeff stammered, "I want it Howard, er Buddy, really I do, I, I can't help it. I do want you!"

Howard leaned over Jeff's back once again; bit him on the back of the neck. The resulting shock caused Jeff to drop his guard, loosening him enough so the fat head of Howard's cock popped inside him.

"Oh," Jeff cried aloud.

Howard immediately stopped all motion, holding Jeff's hips firmly in place, but seeking no further advance, giving the younger man ample time to adjust to the large new presence within him.

"Jeff gasped out, "You . . .so. . .huge. . .I, I don't . . . can . . take.. .all.

"Ssh. Ssh, It's okay baby, relax." Howard ran his hands softly over Jeff's hips and back and thighs, soothing, comforting. "First time, huh Jeff? You should have told me baby. Ssh, ssh, it's okay. Feel my cock in you Jeff. So big. Filling you. I am going to take you now Jeffy, make you mine.

Jeff turned his head to reach Howard's ardent kisses, hot and wet and sloppy.

Howard pulled out only slightly, pushed slowly, gently, forward, He repeated the motion several times, fucking Jeff only an inch or so each time. Gradually he increased the depth, the length of his strokes. After about ten minutes he was sliding out all but the fat plum-sized head, then easing all the way in. Over and over he forced his hard cock up Jeff's tight virgin ass, gradually increasing the speed and power of his thrusts.

"Embrace the pain Jeff, own it, make it yours, let it take you over, fill you. Don't fight it, go with it. Give up, give in."

With the increased speed and power of Howard's assault, the pain returned, in Jeff's ass at first, then spreading outward like a prairie fire to ignite his limbs, his torso, his face; his fingers and toes blazed with the heat of it. Howard pressed down on Jeff's body. Jeff's legs gave way; he fell heavily to the mattress. Howard followed without missing a stroke, using his large powerful hands to rotate Jeff's hips forward, driving straight down now, striking Jeff's prostate with each mighty thrust.

"Oh God," Jeff called out, his voice reverberating in the quiet room, "Take me Howard. Give, it, to, me! He let go then, sphincter muscles wide, all resistance gone, taking Howard in wantonly, eagerly, surrendering completely to the older man's power. He knew then the ultimate joy, the ultimate power of total surrender as he gave himself, his body, his being, completely to Howard, to the pain, the all fulfilling pain.

Howard felt Jeff release beneath him, felt him go slack. His long fat cock now slid freely in and out of Jeff's wide open ass. He increased his speed and power, thrusting down with abandon, bashing Jeff's prostate over and over. The pressure on the head of his cock built and built until his release was inevitable, his hot come blasted from him once, then again. He grasped Jeff's hips, held him still and tight against him as he unloaded deep in Jeff's rectum, the cum jetting forcibly from his pulsing cock.

Below, Jeff's cum did not splatter and blast from him, but flowed like a stream. He felt as if every cell in his body had released its fluid. Howard's still hard, plum sized cock head pulsed against Jeff's prostate, each pulse sending a new stream of cum flowing. Jeff's senses went dim: power and energy flowed from his cock, from his aching ass, from his eyes and nose and toes and fingertips; his very self streamed out into the cosmos.

A few hours later, Jeff returned to his own room, or rather to the room he was using in Howard's apartment. He was so spent that his wobbly legs seemed unable to support him. Sliding under the freshly laundered sheets gave his hot aching body respite. He lay there for a time, running over the events of the night in his brain. He had "come out" three years ago, to the chagrin of his fiance and parents. He had not tried to deceive anyone, especially poor Charlotte, except perhaps himself. He understood Neal better than the younger man might think. He, too, had tried not to be gay, he truly had, but to no avail. Genetics or fate, or the gods had declared that he like cocks. And pussies. Gay and straight. Bi. In the last three years he had embraced his feminine side, going overboard at first, finding his inner slut, calling himself gay, then relaxing into to a peaceful, mostly sexless existence, now finding his way back to love making with a few men and women.

But until this night he had always considered himself a "top", had never allowed anyone to dominate or control him. He had experimented with anal, of course, during his exploratory period, but had found it painful and impersonal. But tonight, he thought, lying there oh so aware of the ache in his ass, but also keenly aware that a great lack, a great emptiness, had been filled.

He concluded that prior lovers had been sorely lacking. Tonight he had learned the ultimate joy of total surrender. He was shaken to his depths to have discovered this about himself. He loved to be taken, used, fucked. The thought was already making him hard once again. Jeffery jumped, startled at a shadow passing over him. Propping himself on his elbows to better view the doorway, he glimpsed Neal's lithe form outlined in the doorway. "Yes?" Jeff inquired.

"Sorry to bother you, Jeff. I, I. . . Can I come in?"

"All right," Jeff replies, tossing back the covers. "Climb in."

"NO, I didn't mean, I just meant. . ."

"Climb in!" Jeff insists, "I promise not to bite unless you ask me to. Come on. Get in here. What are you so afraid of. We'll talk, that's all. I promise."