Days Before Christmas

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Do I stay home or go out? Do I give him space or try again?
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Eric

It was early. Not early, as in five minutes before your alarm and the sun is just breaking through the curtains, but early, early. 4:17 to be exact. I have been laying here for at least 15 minutes, debating between trying to go back to sleep and getting out of the warm covers, on my sliver of a side of the bed, to relieve myself.

I stayed still, only hearing the sounds of the intermittent car drive by on the main road, and my wife's slow, steady breathing. Right now, she must be getting winter allergies. I can hear a tiny whistle when she exhales. Slowly, steadily, with every whistle, I am going insane.

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and over again expecting a different result. That is me; my life. I am insane. Every day I expect it to be different. For me to find a way out the mundane doldrums I get to now call living. Thirteen years of marriage and I am almost afraid to move from the spot I lay in because it may wake her up, and I don't feel like dealing with her. Her anger, her snapping at me for not sorting the clothes properly and other shit I don't give two fucks about, but mostly how cold she is towards me.

I roll over slowly and face her sleeping form. Her lean shoulder is peeking out from under the blanket, along with one foot. I smiled. She was still beautiful. Alexa still has the same small nose and dark blond hair. Lashes are still long as they lay across her sleeping cheeks, above her pink turns up lips. As peaceful as she is, I still want to take one of the pillows separating us to suffocate her and her whistle. I won't, but holy shit, it seems my life would be easier, just a little more peaceful during the holiday season without her. Wake up Christmas morning in the middle of the king size bed and jerk off to porn, before walking down to make some coffee around ten.

Somewhere about 5 years ago I had become an insomniac who started watching more porn and reading erotic stories regularly. Not sure when, but it directly coincided with the same time we had stopped having sex regularly. Regularly being a loose word, due to the fact when we first started dating, we fucked everywhere, multiple times a day. Hell, she even went down on me in my cubical on a lunch break once. But sex became a once a week, to once a month, to a once a year thing. Now it had been just over three years, since my dick had been inside her. This was regular now.

Rolling back over I looked out the crack in the curtains towards the dark hills beyond our place. Small lights gave the hillside a festive feel. It was only a few days until Christmas. The joyous holiday to be spent with loved ones. I don't think she loves me anymore. I think she cares for me as a person; she is a good one herself, but love, no. In fact, if I left and never came back, she may even be relieved.

4:31. I slid out of bed and left the room, closing the door behind me. Downstairs opened my laptop and stared at my screen saver. The waves and sunset at Moonlight Bay in Encinitas from last spring stared back. I miss surfing every day. I miss surfing once a week. I miss a lot of things once a week. I want that feeling back. Where you are excited to get up, to have fun, to flirt, to feel wanted, sexy. To be touched by someone wanting to give you pleasure and you can't wait to please them back.

I couldn't resist. I needed to feel that again. Opening up Craigslist I went to the personal to see what was out there. A buddy of mine says he does it sometimes to see what is out there. I really wasn't sure where else to look.

Clicking on the Strictly Platonic W4M. Since any chick available seemed like a dangerous option, I started with age, 29-39. I could go older and a little younger, but she has to be out of collage at least. Six postings. Wow, slim pickings.

After reading each posting, I was pretty sure at least five would demand money upfront, and the other wanted a committed relationship, I needed to rethink this. What did I really want? Did I really want a quick roll in the hay? I wasn't really that guy anymore. I wanted more, craved more then a one-night stand. I had changed a lot since college. My desires had changed, evolved.

I didn't want a committed relationship; I had one of those I didn't want to give up yet, but needed something that would bring the excitement back into my day. Make me want to get up and be glad I was a man. That I might have the chance to actually use my dick with another human. At that thought I reached down to give it a few shakes.

Decision time. Do I stay in, continue to try to not go insane, or venture out and see if there is something else that is better? The grass may not be greener, but I felt like I needed to know. Or is this as green as it gets? Is this what marriage is? I have a feeling I need more in my life right now. Something to fill the void I am not getting at home.

Bringing myself to a semi-hard state I realized, I did need more. I clicked on one of the erotica website I frequented, and logged in. Going to the personal section was a first though. I scrolled down to the section for women seeking men and clicked. Waited for it to load. There were 1,239 recent postings. Wow. I never imagined so many. Each one had their small picture of themselves maybe or a something next to the positing

Looking for hot man for oral

Come play with my pussy

Fill my erotic fantasies

Sub looking for Dom

Looking for something else

That was just like me. Looking for something else. The picture was a silhouette of a female surfer. Surferchic79. I gave myself a few more pumps as I imagined this lean, tan, and beauty leaning over me in the chair and set my computer down.

Her hands on arms of the chair, pert round breasts in teasing my face. Reaching up, I grabbed one, bringing the nipple to my mouth, making the brown tip hard before moving to the other to do the same. She arches back and moans loudly granting me access to more.

"I want to ride you Eric. I want to fuck every once of cum out of you." Her voice was sultry, eyes dilated and hot.

I pulled her hips forward to mine. She knew what to do, slowing I could feel myself filling up her tight pussy an inch at a time, until she was full to the hilt. I couldn't bite back my moan. She was so wet and warm around me. She didn't move just squeezed her walls around me a few times. My dicked twitched inside of her.

Grabbing my shoulders she began rocking back and forth, rubbing me into further bliss. I could feel her tightening around me as her hips continued to move. Her pace quickened. Fuck I was about to burst. She didn't stop her frantic pace. Her pussy locked around my straining cock.

"Oh god, oh fuck, Eric come with me."

I burst, pulling my cock towards my chest. Stroking as I shot three more times. I stroked it slowly feeling how sensitive it was, then set it down. I leaned back, cum on my chest and stared at the ceiling. This was my life. Jerking off in the dark to visions of sugarplum surfers riding my cock.

"Eric, can't sleep?" Alexa's barley awake, voice sounded from the tops of the stairs.

I froze, hoping she wouldn't come downstairs. "Yeah, I just couldn't sleep, didn't realize I woke you. Sorry. Go back to bed, I will just get a shower and head to the gym." How would I explain this? I guess she would see for herself and understand what I was dong. Four visible streams of cum were reflecting the moonlight through the back sliding door.

"Its okay. I . . . never mind." She trailed off as she retreated back to the bedroom.

++++

Alexa

I heard him get out of bed, just like every night for the past week. It was not even five am. He used to make to at least five. The light of his computer could be seen on the hard wood floor under the French doors to our bedroom, which meant he was in one of the chairs in the living room. I know he thought his computer was a discrete way to look at porn, but, well, lets just say, I'm not that stupid.

He was unhappy. I was more then unhappy. I lay in bed hearing him rustle around on the leather chair, type, and then start to jack off. I lay back listen to him, whack, and whack, and quietly moan, and whack, whack, whack, pant, whack... Wow, he is getting after it. Who ever the woman is, I hope she is fat and ugly and hideous, but I know she is some beautiful photo shopped goddess wearing next to nothing, making me feel like less of a women then ever.

In all actuality I am a little turned on by hearing him pleasure himself. Picturing his hard dick, slick, as he strokes it up and down. He had a beautiful penis. Long, straight, with decent girth, and a big head. I still remember the first time we had sex, in the back of his car. It was such a tight fit, felt like the head popped into my slick folds. God it felt good.

Maybe he would want some company. I could use a solid orgasm right now. I'd even take a small one for that matter. I got up and slide my panties off, followed by my tank top. I quietly stepped into the hallway trying not to make too much noise and went to the stairs.

He was still at it. I could hear his heavy breathing and rapidly sliding hand.

"Eric." I said just above a whisper. I still wasn't sure I wanted to do this. It had been so long for us.

Taking a couple more steps lower I could see his lower half over the edge of the wall. Hand moving fast, legs and stomach tight. Watching him was starting to make me damp.

Then I heard a quiet, "Ah, fuck, yeah." And watched him squirt himself in the chest until he was finished. He set his partially limp dick down.

I turned to go back up making the stair squeak. Thinking I was caught I knew I should say something.

"Eric, can't sleep?" I tried to sound tired and not irritated.

He took a second to answer. "Yeah, I just couldn't sleep, didn't realize I woke you. Sorry. Go back to bed, I will just get a shower and head to the gym.".

"Its okay. I . . . never mind." I didn't know what to say. He obviously didn't want me to see him and his handy work, or be anywhere near me. I went to the bedroom to give him more space. If I give him anymore, it means I move out. What happened to us?

I didn't bother putting back on my clothes and crawled back under the covers to pretend I was asleep before he came in to use the bathroom and grab his gym clothes. I heard him rinse off in the shower before getting dressed. I mean who showers before the gym. I may rarely go, but I know that much.

I kept me eyes closed as he moved around our bedroom. I felt him stop in front of my side of the bed and pause. Was he staring at me? My eyes were closed so I wasn't sure, but tried to fake sleep a little longer. I felt him lean down and softly kiss me on the head before walking out of the bedroom. Watching him go, I wondered if there was hope.

Rolling over I could feel I was still wet. I got up and pulled my vibrator, dildo, and lube out of their hiding place. I turned vibrator on a few notches to high and spread a little lube on my clit and vagina. Placing the vibrator on my clit, I began to rub it hard up and down. It didn't take long to me to feel the need for something inside me. Something more to make me come. In all my 35 years, I still couldn't come with just fingers or a mouth. I needed it all.

I used my dildo to spread the moisture around and started to press it inside. In and out, each time going deeper. It felt good, but wasn't the same as a man. The warmth, the touch, the feeling of his lips on your neck, ear, oh god I wanted that again. I continued to fuck against my plastic toy, with my vibrator firmly pressed to my clit, until a shallow orgasm washed over me. Which was okay.

I set my toys down in the bed next to me. I wanted to really cum. Like cum, cum. Like water falls in Niagara, I am so sated I can't move, we are both literally dripping with sweat, let me roll off you and you can have your way with me I frankly don't give a damn, cum. The cum of a lifetime, that I had at 18, with Geoff. I wanted that again. Was it too much to ask?

I giggled into my hand not believing how stupid I use to be. I know he was too old for me. I know my parents would have killed me or him if they found out this was a regular thing. I know he probably wasn't hard the whole time, but I didn't care, or know, I was 18 and had very little know how at that point.

What I do know is I came at least eight times before I really came. I didn't even know you could cum like that. But I did and didn't want it to stop. And I haven't stopped wanting it. In college I thought that was coming, and the other was well, just fun flutters or something. They felt good, but no, bam, splash, wow. So when asked, "No, I haven't came yet. Yeah keep going." I may have been wrong, but four little orgasms don't even come close to the big one. I must have wrecked a few guys' egos back then.

Thinking about it again, the rush of desire overtook me. I wanted to again. It felt like rushing water cascading down the walls of my vagina. I remember when it happened I had very little to no control over any part of my body. I had to roll off of him or collapse on top. As soon as I did, he was on top, fucking my brains out some more. Well at least until he got off. We fucked for hours. Well, probably at least an hour plus. I don't think I had sex more then 15 minutes start to end in the last decade. Where did all the fucking go? The 'I don't care that I am so sweaty it is currently dripping off my face and down my chest on to you, and nor do you. In fact you love it even more then I do.' Where is that guy, that type of sex?

Three days before Christmas. I still needed to grab a few gifts; Eric's sister, our two nieces, and his cousin Aaron. Jesus, I didn't even know what they would like. Kids I could handle, but buy your family your own gifts. My irritation was already starting. I got to cool off in the sower then get dressed for work. One more workday until after New Years.

++++

Eric

4:37am. Again darkness still covered the room. Her steady breaths could be heard on the other side of the bed. This time, no whistling. I had been a constant wreck for months and there she was, sleeping away like nothing was going on. The big fat elephant sat right on top of me, carefully avoiding her side of the bed. It knew where the pillow line was too.

I needed to stop. Stop picking fights with her every move. Stop blaming her for everything that is wrong. Stop pushing away. I needed to let her know I still wanted her. I couldn't even respond to a personal ad yesterday. I still wanted this. I still want her. If she still wants me, this has to work.

Carefully I move one king size pillow from the great wall. I slid over a solid six inches. Still had at least two feet to go even be close to Alexa. With small normal size pillow gone, I slid further in. Nothing between us now. Unless you counted years of hostility and my trepidation towards doing what I think I was about to.

She was lying on her back, one leg out of the covers and the other bent at the knee and out to the side. Perfect. I almost feel myself entering her. Moving the covers down on my quarter of the bed, I made my way to approach her from the bottom. My only risk was a foot to the face, but I had faith on my side. Little, tenuous faith.

I gently ran my hands up her thighs to her crotch. Pressing my thumbs on both her clit and pussy I rubbed as I began kissing the insides of her thighs. She stirred when I reach the part that was no longer thigh, but more intimate. Dipping my hand under her panties, I rubbed against her with the backs of my fingers. I didn't have a good angle to do much else, so I used my thumb and pushed it just inside of her pulled out the juices, spreading them around creating a slick opening.

Her hips raised up just a little letting me know; A. she was awake but still faking sleep, B. she likes this, and C. I just might get laid this year. Taking my hands away I pulled on both sides of her panties. She raised her hip and changed her leg position to assist. Looking up, I saw her eyes still closed. Faker.

I spread her legs once more, and licked the outside edge her pussy, opening it to me. It was shaved differently then last time. Now she had just a little tuff of trimmed hair above the slit. I liked it. Made her seem like she was an adult still. All the way bare reminded me of a pre-teen or someone too young to be doing these activities with. I gazed at her for one more second before bringing my mouth down on her clit. She always liked it hard there. I kept my pressure with my tongue as I sucked and moved my mouth back and forth, slow fucking her clit.

Her hips once again came up to meet me and I heard to gasp, so I knew I was on the right track. Circling her opening I made sure to pull more juice out to make her wet, then slid one finger in, pumping a few times. She moaned, and then grabbed my head, pulling me harder against her.

Adding another finger got another moan and more hip movement. My cock was dying to get inside. She was tight and wet. Everything I wanted.

Soon her hand locked down on my head even more and I could feel her tighten around my fingers.

"Don't stop. Don't stop." She said in a husky voice.

Trust me honey I wasn't going to. Couldn't anyway I'm in a vise. I held my two fingers against her g-spot and continued to let her basically fuck my face off, until I felt her break. Her fingernails dug into my head and she called me god a few times before releasing.

Once she did, I moved up her body, kissing her flat stomach, belly button minus the ring she once wore, then each almost perfect breasts, not neglecting each puckered nipple. Made my way to her collarbone, then nuzzled and kissed her neck all the way to her ear lobe. She arched giving me more room, as I continued to nibble and bite.

I gasp when she grabbed my cock. It became fully hard instantly with one stroke of her hand. I moved my long body to her side to give her more access. Her warm hand felt so good. I watched as she leaned forward and licked her lips before putting her tongue on the tip of my dick, tasting the pre-cum that had leaked out. The corners of her lips turned up a small amount as she tucked them around her teeth, and slid me further into her mouth. I was knelt before her, on just my knees as she was sucking.

She licked around my cock using her tongue to add saliva. The slickness helped as she put it back in and I could feel the back of her throat with the tip. Using her hand and mouth she slowly teased me up and back until my head rolled back. I couldn't help my hips rocking with each stroke, wanting more.

Bringing my cock all the way out, she licked along the underside to my sack. Using her hand, she guided one nut into her mouth, sucking and kneading it with her tongue, while her hand worked the other.

My rock hard cock stared back at me as she brought me down from my knees. I had nothing to hang onto and could barley see straight. I needed to lie down but didn't want her to stop.

She grabbed the other ball and started to suck just as hard. I moaned, buckling at the waist.

"Baby, hold on. Let me lie down. I can't..." Suck, suck, tongue flick, more blood to my already too straining cock.

I pushed her back and lay down before I passed out on top of her. She went right back to torturing my sack. I gripped the sheets with both hands, grunting and holding back a scream. I could feel my abs start to cramp from the strain. Just before I had to ask her to stop, she kissed along my torso and up my body. At each nipple she used her teeth, biting me slightly and sucking. Then she bit me a little harder.

"Oh fuck, honey, that feels good." She had never been this rough and I liked it.

Moving up to my shoulders, Alexa, kissed along them, licked up my neck, then bite along my chin to my ear. All along she was pinching one of my nipples until I could barley take it. The pleasure and pain mixed was amazing.

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