Dear Dora (Lucky)

Dear Dora,

I have a great bunch of guys for friends. We play poker every weekend. It used to be just on Friday nights, but recently, we have been playing on Saturdays and even Sundays. I enjoy poker a lot, although I never seem to win, and I certainly like seeing my friends so much, but I'm afraid I'm getting "pokered" out.

We used to take turns having the game at each guy's house. One Friday night, though, while we were playing at our apartment, my wife noticed that we were running out of beer and snacks. She said she had to stay there to serve the guys, and suggested that I run out and get some more party supplies. It seemed odd to me, because we had never run out of beer or chips and salsa before, and I was sure I had bought at least as much as I ever had. But, I tried to be a good sport about it, and went out and got some additional beer and snacks.

It took me a fairly long time, as our house isn't near any all-night stores. When I returned, everyone seemed sort of disheveled. Some of the guys had taken off their shirts and shoes, even though our apartment wasn't all that warm. Ron, my car-pooling buddy, and my wife, even seemed flushed, and out of breath.

I asked what had been happening, and everyone said it had gotten really hot while I was gone, but that it was much cooler, now. Everyone liked the cold beer, and sat around drinking and chatting. Everyone seemed to have lost interest in playing cards, but nobody seemed to want to go home. There was some quiet talk among the other players, though, and all of a sudden, my friend Earl said that, actually, he did want to go home, but since he had ridden to our place with Don, who was staying, he guessed he would have to hang around.

My wife suggested that I be a good host, and run Earl home. I complained that I had just got back from the store, and Earl lived clear on the other side of town - it would take me over an hour to take him home and get back to the party! But my wife basically insisted, with everyone else backing her up. None of the other guys volunteered to drive Earl home, even though some of them lived quite near to his house.

Well, I did take Earl home, and it took me an hour and a half to get back to our apartment. This time, when I got back, everyone was sitting around the card table, except for the empty chair where Earl had been sitting, and my chair, of course. All of a sudden, my wife came up from below the table, and took her seat at Earl's place. Her face was flushed, and Don seemed to be gasping for breath. Ron explained that Elaine had been sitting in the last few hands. Well, what he actually said was "she has been playing with us." He said maybe she dropped her chips and was picking them up from below the table. Elaine said "No, Don actually dropped his nuts." For some reason, everyone seemed to think this was really funny.

I appreciated my wife keeping the guys entertained while I was gone, and helping Don with his nuts. But it was getting very late. I suggested that we should break up the party, but Art said he had had so much fun, he wanted to get together again on Saturday, maybe early in the afternoon.

I reminded Art that I had to present a seminar for our clients at lunchtime on Saturday, which is kind of why I wanted to break it up ... I needed to get some sleep. Elaine said that I didn't want to be a spoilsport, and volunteered our apartment for another poker session the next day. She said I could join in when I finished with the seminar.

I guess that was okay, but it seemed to me that one of the other guys could just as well have taken the party to his house, but Elaine pointed out that we had all this left-over beer and pretzels and chips and salsa, so we should have the party here. I looked at the left-overs, and sure enough, there was lots of everything. Even more, maybe than I remember having gotten when I went out to stock up.

While I was still trying to figure out where all the refreshments had come from, Elaine and the other guys all agreed to get together at about noon the next day for more games.

Everyone was looking very tired when I got home from the seminar at about six o'clock the next evening, including Elaine. Instead of getting to play cards with them, I just watched them while they picked up their stuff and left for their own houses.

Elaine said they had really missed having me there, and that she had played with them the entire six hours they were there. She said she had had real hot hands, and showed me that she had over five hundred dollars of their money. She said everyone wanted to get together again Sunday morning to win back some of their money. Well, what she said was "everyone wants another shot at me." I reminded her that I had to supervise our church's bible school during services in the morning. She said she had forgotten, but maybe I could sit in when I got back from church. I didn't want to seem like a wet blanket, so I said okay.

Well, it's gone that way for the last several weeks. We always play at our apartment, Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays, too. And it seems that I've always got a whole list of things to do that keep me away from the party – extra work assignments, running one or the other of the guys to the Emergency Room, getting refreshments or ice, and plenty of new responsibilities at the church.

Elaine seems to be enjoying these games very much, and every day when I get back, she seems to have taken at least several hundred dollars off the guys. They have even taken to inviting other guys in to play cards, but Elaine plays with all of them, and always seems to end up with their money.

My question is, am I being selfish to want these guys to have some of these parties at their houses from time to time? We always have to provide the snacks, and for some reason ,we seem to going through a lot of laundry, but thanks to Elaine's bringing in so much money from these guys, we actually are coming out ahead. I guess I just would like to play with the bunch from time to time, and I suppose I resent it.

What should I do?

Signed,

Lucky at Cards

Dear Lucky,

You don't realize just how lucky you are to have such dedicated friends. They seem to be willing to come at your house, I mean to your house, even though you're only able to be there now and then! I'm sure they all have been helping Elaine avoid the inevitable loneliness that comes with having such a busy husband.

In the meantime, your lovely wife seems to have found a new talent and a way to bring in some additional money for your family. You two should maybe consider inviting a few more men to get into the games that everyone is playing while you're not there! She could make a great deal of money that way.

You may not believe it, but there are men whose main job is setting up games like this for their wives and other women friends to play with interested men they find. Maybe you have a sister or cousin or secretary that would like to help Elaine at these get-togethers? Or maybe the other guys' wives or girlfriends would be interested in playing? If you "play your cards" right, you could maybe quit your regular day job and do this full time! You could even buy some really striking new clothes and a big, new Cadillac!

You might find Las Vegas a better place to pursue your wife's new-found talents. Good luck!

Sincerely, Dora