Dear Jenni

Dear Jenni,

I just can't stop thinking about that night. I find myself sitting here alone in my room thinking of nothing but that night in your apartment and what happened — or what could have happened.

We were finally in bed together and we came so close to finally, finally making love. Even though it didn't happen, the memory is still so strong and still gets me so excited. That night was perhaps the most intense night of my life.

Just picture it. The three of us laying together in your bed. My left arm wrapped around you and my right arm wrapped around your best friend, Amy. It's been a sexually charged evening. You and I have been fucking each other for months now through texts, rekindling the incestuous lust from our youth.

After dinner with another other friend and her husband we finally kissed on the way to your house - our first since we were 18. Even though it's been at least 10 years since that last kiss, it still felt so natural and easy, Like we've been lovers all our lives — well, I guess we have. Our lips touched, our mouths opened together and my tongue met yours. The blood instantly rushed downward giving me the erection of a teenager. After stopping to buy some drinks, we kissed again in the parking lot. For some reason, I brazenly slipped my hand down your low cut top and inside your bra, squeezing your beautiful breast and gently pinching your nipple.

(I've always loved your breasts.I can't ever stop looking at them or wanting to touch them and suck them into my mouth. Since that first touch we shared while hiding in my bed, I've been hooked. They were smaller back then, but still, I've been addicted since that first night we took turns exploring the other's body. Noting the changes we were going through and being nervous about how far we would be willing to go.)

When we got home to your apartment we went to your room and made out some more. I felt like I didn't ever want to stop kissing you. My cock was so swollen I thought it would tear through my pants — you, of course, just laughed at me and my discomfort. We kissed for a while and I continued to take every opportunity to run my hands over your tits. We stopped ourselves for fear of your friends walking in on us and discovering our cousin-on-cousin affair. While that fear also served to turn me on more, I wasn't ready to take that chance yet either, so we stopped.

After a night of drinking and conversations filled with sexual innuendo, sneaking looks when we thought no one else was looking, and countless touches under the table exchanged between various people, Amy, you, and I find ourselves in your bed. We were each tired and drunk, but the sexual tension was through the roof and each of us found ourselves contemplating what could happen. Who would start it? And would we be willing to let it happen? Whenever possible my hand finds your breast. I want to slide it down to your pants and try to pleasure you, but am afraid to try because your Amy is snuggled up on my opposite side. Her knee just an inch from my cock and my hand caressing the skin of her arm in the same manner my left hand caresses your breast.

All of this is going on while we're carrying on inane conversations to cover up the fact we're each waiting for someone to make a move. During the conversation, as I attempt to massage your breasts, your friend takes hold of my other hand and brings it to her breast, manipulating my fingers so that I will start squeezing and kneading. I nervously oblige. All the time wondering if she knows I'm doing it to you, too. I look at you and your eyes are closed, but you're still active in whatever conversation is going on. I look at her and she just smiles and snuggles closer, her knee grazing my cock. I make the decision in my head, well, probably my dick's head, that I'm willing to risk the consequence and make the move. I want YOU that badly. My hormones are raging, my cock is like a steel rod and I have my hands cupping the breasts of my cousin/lover and her sexy best friend at the same time. I drove down here for a weekend of debauchery with you, what will it hurt to add another person to the equation? And, I tell myself, there's no way each of you can't tell I'm feeling the other up as well.

But then it happens. She gets up to go pee. And in the time it takes her to come back, we all lose our nerve and the spell is broken. She goes to another bed. You roll over and I lay there staring at the ceiling in a weird state of both frustration and relief.

The next day, we both chickened out, even when we were alone. Although we still talked dirty and I gave you a dildo for your birthday. Somehow we just couldn't get back in that zone. I was still so horny when you got out of the shower I laid in your bed and stroked myself while you dressed. You graciously watched and dressed in front of me, letting me take in the sight of that body I've lusted after my entire life. Before I got in the shower, I stood over the tub and finished pleasuring myself and I remember to this day it being one of the most powerful orgasms of my life. My knees buckled and I had to hold the wall for support as my other hand pumped my cock. I felt my balls tense and actually felt the stream of cum course through my cock before exploding out of me and coating the back wall of your shower. Blast after blast erupted from me as I gasped for breath and struggled to stand. When I started to recover and opened my eyes I was amazed at the sight. The wall of your shower was covered with my cum as it ran downward in little rivers only to puddle on the bottom of the tub.

That's how the weekend ended. And I'm ok with that. I have no regrets about our relationship. While I want more and I wish that we had already made love. I'm also OK with waiting. I try to always let you know how I feel and trust we will lie together when the time is right. But, because I'm hornier than all get out right now and because I can't stop thinking of all the ways I wanted touch you and fuck you, here's a look back at what happened, and what could have happened that night. The fact that much of it is real, just makes it even hotter. I hope, my secret lover, that you enjoy...

--------------

I take the opportunity to slide my hand down the front of your low-cut top as you're driving us from the grocery store to your apartment. We've been talking dirty and planning this deviant weekend for so long, I can hardly contain myself. My fingers slide right inside the cup of your bra and I encase your small breast in my hand. I knead it and draw my fingers together at your nipple, gently pinching and pulling it outward. You look at me in a bit of surprise but also understanding. We kiss again. I continue to work that glorious tit until you give me the look that says "enough, we are in public." I withdraw my hand from your top and smile back while also adjusting my increasingly hard cock. When we get to your apartment, immediately close the door behind us, grab you and push you back against it as I kiss those lips I've loved since our days of playing doctor underneath my bed.

Our tongues meet and wrap around each other, each of us trying to invade the other's mouth. My hands again find their way to the mounds hidden beneath your blouse. One of your hands slides toward my pants. It's all happening quickly, but time stands still for me. I've wanted to feel you touch me for so long. I ache in anticipation as your fingers circle from my back, around my waist and toward the front. I feel your fingers sliding over me as you reach the front of my shorts and slide them downward to grasp hold of me. When you squeeze my shaft, my body tenses, my hand clamps down on your right breast and my teeth press into your neck where I'd been kissing just below your ear. Somehow, we begin to move while we continue to kiss each other and rub our hands, exploring these bodies we haven't shared since we snuck off during our grandparents' 50th anniversary party to make out.

Suddenly we're in your bedroom. I'm sitting on the edge of your bed with you standing in front of me between my legs. I ask if we have time before your friends get here. You tell me probably not, but that doesn't stop us. We kiss again. My hands slide under your shirt to feel the skin of your back. I circle forward and over your bra, squeezing again. I pull your shirt over your head and kiss my way from your midriff up between your breasts and circle around the exposed flesh at the top. I draw you closer, sucking your flesh into my mouth and dragging my teeth over your skin as my hands reach back to unclasp your bra and draw it off your shoulders. I pull back only long enough to discard the garment. I stare at these objects of so much of my desire and begin lightly circling my fingers around each one, slowly spiraling toward your nipples. I lean in to kiss your left breast, then your right. I return to the left and use my tongue to repeat the same pattern of my fingers. When I reach the center, I lay my tongue flat against the nipple then gently suck it into my mouth, increasing pressure and the amount of flesh with each inhale. Then I release it, give it a soft kiss on the nipple and move my attention to your right breast. While repeating the same pattern, my hands move to the front of your pants, unfastening them. The intensity and urgency I feel to pleasure you is increasing exponentially. I grab your shorts and panties at the same time and tug them down, almost ripping them off you.

You're naked now, and with a tit in my mouth and my hand nudging your legs apart as my fingers slide toward your center. I caress all around, tracing your lips before cupping my hand over your mound and squeezing. Then my fingers begin to work sliding along your slit, feeling the wetness grow. I ease your lips apart and slide a finger inside you. I force myself to concentrate and pay attention to every ridge and texture inside — as well as your body's reactions as I touch each spot. I don't stop suckling your breasts while working my finger inside you, if anything I increase the pressure. I add a second finger into you and curl forward, looking for a reaction that says I've found your spot. I release your breast and look up at you with a smile before dropping to my knees in front of you. I keep you standing, but spread your legs further apart so I can lean in and lick the top of your pussy while I'm fucking you with my fingers. I flick my tongue over your clit then clamp my mouth over it, sucking and licking, trying my best to make you squeal. By this time, I've added a third finger and begin to slide a fourth inside. I want to fill you up. I need you to know that I plan to take full advantage of this opportunity to give everything to your body.

You stop me though. You give me that beautiful ornery smile of yours and pull me up, then push me to the bed. You lift off my shirt then take off my pants, all the while giving me that evil giggle and smile that means you're up to something. When you have me naked, you push me down on your bed so i'm laying on my back. You lean down, your head aimed right for my cock, which is already glistening with precum. I hold my breath in anticipation. We've made out a lot over the years, but we haven't done this. I've had countless fantasies, pumping my own dick to images of your mouth around me.

But at the last minute you smile and move your head to the left, kissing my thigh. You tease me for what seems like ages with sweet, sexy kisses and licks all around my dick and balls. You run your tongue down my left leg all the way to my ankle. Then up my right leg, before raising your head and smiling as you wrap your hand around my shaft. I'm so turned on by your ministrations, part of me worries I'll come right there from just that first touch. Your hand works it's way up and down before pushing it up, flat against my stomach. You lean in and run your tongue from the base of my cock to the tip. You circle your tongue around the head a few times before wrapping those amazing lips around the cockhead and began working me over with your lips and tongue. I'm in total shock over both the physical sensations, as well the sight of finally watching my cousin work my cock with her mouth. My hands reach out to touch you, needing to make contact with you in some way. My fingers run through your beautiful hair and caress the skin of your arms. The sensation of your lips working around me and your tongue swirling on the underside of my cock is incredible. I let you know that I can't take much more and that I'll cum soon. I'm a little nervous about that because in all our talks, we've never really talked about whether you like to swallow or how you want a lover to cum with you. I know, for me, I don't have a favorite. I like to go where the mood of that moment takes us. But it doesn't matter now, I can feel my body tensing as you suck harder and to be safe I tell you I'm cumming. You raise your mouth off me with a smile, that evil smile again. I think maybe you were trying to take me to the edge but stop, so you could torture me some more. I love/hate it when you torture me.

But it was too late, while you're grinning at me, my cock explodes. Firing ropes of cum to splash off your chin and onto your chest. In surprise, you pull back and point me forward so that last bit lands on me, splashing on my chest and the base of my neck.

We look at each other, covered in the mess of our coupling, and give each other that happy "wow" look, but also that nervous look of "I can't believe we finally actually did this." I finally laugh and pull you to me. Pressing your body down on top of me, feeling my cum between us, and kiss you as deeply as I can. I whisper in your ear that your birthday weekend is just beginning.

And then we hear the knock at the door.

As it dawns on us that we had plans involving other people for the evening, we quickly wipe my cum from our bodies with an old t-shirt and throw our clothes back on. As your friends come in and get settled it becomes clear no one has a clue what we were up to before they arrived.

The night quickly turns to drinking and we gather around a table and start a drinking game. As usual with these games, it doesn't take long before dares and punishments start having a subtle sexual twist. You and I continue to sneak each other looks when it's safe. Sometimes we even slide in a lude gesture or reach for the other under the table. The tension in the air continues to rise. I watch you flirt with the guy you're dating. It turns me on to watch that, knowing that while you're flirting, remnants of my dried cum cling to your skin under your shirt. I also "daydream" a bit wondering if your lips look just as sexy wrapped around his dick as they did around mine. I feel no pangs of jealousy. I know I will always have to share you. Just as you have to share me. In fact, I find that a bit of a turn on as well. As I watch you shuffle the cards I feel a foot touch mine and slide up my leg. It takes a second, but I finally realize the touch is not yours. I look to my right and your friend, Amy, gives me a sly smile then quickly looks away. For a brief moment, I think about pulling away. But frankly, I'm too far gone into the mental state of depravity created by our months-long sexting, earlier make-out session, plans for tomorrow and now thoughts of what could happen tonight.

I decide to roll with it. Your friend is an attractive brunette with a great smile and an infectious laugh. I find myself sneaking glances at her chest, wondering about the shape and feel of her breasts. Where yours are small and teardrop in shape, hers are full and round. I want to know what her nipples look like and how it would feel to suck them into my mouth.

Our dares and punishments continue to push into the naughtier side of things. But not too far — probably because we're cousins and the others are afraid to make us do things in front of each other, or worse, to each other. Little do they know that just a few hours ago I had four fingers buried inside you. Or that the reason behind my trip to visit you this weekend was done for the sole purpose of furthering our incestuous love affair.

Eventually the game winds down. Amy gets up and moves down the hall toward the bedrooms. You and your boyfriend keep on flirting and rubbing against each other. Knowing I've got all day with you tomorrow I give you a nod of approval and slide out giving you the opportunity to make out with him for a bit. I find your friend sprawled out in your bed. The booze in my blood and testosterone flowing from my balls gives me the courage to slide into bed next to her.

Soon, we're pressed against each other making small talk. Despite the sexual tension that fills your entire apartment, we're both a little nervous. We barely know each other. She's younger than us by a few years and is probably a little confused by the presence of her friend's married cousin who drives down for the weekend to play drinking games and talk about sex.

Neither one of us really makes a move. We just talk and flirt, but we keep finding ways to make sure we're touching the other' in some way. We're not quite laying face to face, but it's close. My fingers caress the skin of her neck and trace the neckline of her top, barely grazing the swell of her breasts. Her hand moves on my thigh tracing just under the leg of my shorts. We both want more, but for some reason, neither of us seem able to make the move.

Naturally, just as we both seem ready to give in. Just as our mouths begin to move toward each other, you come bouncing into the bedroom. And you're ALONE! I don't get it. I have so many mixed emotions right then. I'm annoyed because I finally worked up the courage to start things with Amy. I was also elated, because it meant we were that much closer to "our time". I was concerned for you not knowing why things hadn't progressed with this guy you liked very much. And I was totally turned on by thoughts of touching you with someone else in the room. And, frankly I was even more turned on and excited by images of someone in the room with us knowing what we were doing and knowing that we were cousins.

After you crawled into bed with us and I had an arm wrapped around both beauties, your boyfriend did come back into the bedroom. We tried to convince him to stay. I even offered to leave so you two could be alone. But he resisted and eventually left.

So that just left you, my beautiful cousin. The first girl I kissed. The first girl I saw naked. The first girl to let me feel her tits. The first girl who let me between her legs. You, all 5-foot-1-inch of sassy, spunky goodness. An amazing pair of lips that I could kiss for hours. A pair of breasts that I believe were made with me in mind because of how they fit into my hands and mouth. Yeah it was just you, me (my unending hardon) and Amy.

It was strangely quiet at first. Each of you curled up against either side of me. All of us so close to just unabashedly running our hands wildly over each other and starting a sexual free for all. But none of us knew how to start. So you and I begin to do what we do best — avoid awkwardness with silly banter. We all talk and laugh and eventually begin to relax. Relax enough that as we talk, my hand slides into your breast and begins to caress and squeeze your flesh. Part of me hopes Amy won't notice. Part of me hopes she does. The naughtiness of it all just makes me hornier.

Without fail, our discussions return to the subjects of sex. A lot of jokes and innuendo. A little bit of what we've done, even a little of what we like to do. As we laugh I continue my ministrations on your left breast. Amy takes my hand and slides it from her shoulder and onto her right breast. She then begins to manipulate my fingers letting me know what she wants. I can feel her nipple hardening through the material of her shirt and obviously thin bra.