Diary Confessions Pt. 02

Sex education at a Roman Catholic high school was intriguing. We were separated, boys in one class and us girls in another. The whole lessons were given by nuns, who to say the least, despite their teaching experience, were embarrassed by the diagrams, photographs and explanations, and some would have their hand on a bible on the desktop, but it had to be done. And without movies which were not allowed. It was all the same as what Mum had told me about, only Mum was best at it than the holy sisters. Mum was very open and didn't go over the limits until I was able enough to cope and understand in line with what school was teaching and curriculum. And I was proud of that thin wall of skin, my hymen, with its little button size hole from which I bled through almost regularly every month. It was the symbol of my virginity according to Sister Caterina, who would draw on analogies borne from the Spanish Inquisition.

I loved to cycle and I never missed the opportunity to do errands for my Mum to the nearest village from the farm where we lived. Then one sunny Saturday morning it happened. Where we lived there were lots of hills, part of the Pennines, and I loved to free-wheel down the country lanes. I was doing what I liked and suddenly I felt this amazing sensation deep inside of my groin. I didn't want it to stop, and thinking it was part of the thrill of riding my bicycle downhill I continued no matter what towards a T-junction ahead. I just closed my eyes tight and hoped for the best of whatever fate awaited me. I hit the fence with a bang and the front of my saddle pushed hard into me. I was knocked unconscious with nobody around for assistance, and not sure how long for. The front wheel of my bicycle was completely bent, and I began to feel where I hurt the most in my daring accident. I had no mobile phone communication then, and had to struggle with my broken bicycle back home, over four kilometres.

When I did eventually get home, I was honest and told Mum all about the accident, but felt somewhat embarrassed about revealing the strange tingling feeling in my groin. However, it became very obvious. My injuries were a few basic bumps and bruises, but I had not noticed the huge patch of blood on the groin area of my light blue denim shorts. I was mortified to say the least, but Mum seemed to know what it was when I explained fully what had happened. I had broken my sacred "maidenhead"... my hymen. I wanted to see the damage that I had done and following a nice soothing bath, I took a look in my compact mirror, legs akimbo and close up. My heaven's gate was now opened has my husband TRT would say.

When I started high school I first met Jules. We bonded straight away and stuck together closely even though we were part of a girl gang. Gradually over the following years that close friendship turned into something more special. Her rough urban upbringing and the things she was doing for a man she knew taught her things about sex. I used to be very concerned about the relationship she had with this stranger as well as curious. Then she revealed all of the sordid details to me. The stranger had been grooming her for a while and she admitted to be enjoying it. Not only the sex they had but the treats he would give her to remain quiet. By this time I had only just started to get curious about sex and the most I did was touch myself, finding that pleasurable spot known as the clitoris and masturbating to fantasies I enjoyed but did not really understand why. One of the frequent fantasies I would have was being naked with Jules herself and just holding each other and kissing, something we began to do quite often in private for real, but fully clothed which was to me a natural thing in our ever growing relationship. I realised today quite a lot of girls like Jules and I had that special closeness, especially when we discovered deep passionate kissing and touching for real. Bisexuality in girls is quite common.

One afternoon Jules was invited to my house for an overnight stay like on other occasions, only this time something happened which advanced our relationship further. It was a dare and not just a game. We had a list of lads names we both knew and put them on a set of labels. We shuffled the labels and shared them out. Then we would place them down, and the name would be revealed and in turn we would ask ourselves which item of our clothing we would remove for them. Some of the lads I liked and even though I had no relationship with them, I did have a vague fantasy of being alone with them, and so I would remove an article of my clothing as did Jules. Between us there were not many articles of clothing and gradually we both became naked. It was the first time ever we saw each other naked, and I noticed that Jules was a natural red head and not the mousey brown she had dyed her hair. That became the topic of conversation, and she told me she hated being a red head because it shown out her natural brogue Irish roots that she disliked, because her family were tinkers and in her way of thinking that was a low social class.

We were both excited to be in full naked exposure before each other, and I was so amazed at her body. We touched ourselves intimately and we kissed as I held her close to me. For the first time ever I felt fingers probing me deeply into my yOni, my sacred intimate place, and they were not my own. After the kiss she looked at me with a grin and licked her fingers, tasting my juices, then winked. I was shocked and in mixed emotions not knowing what to do. Someone else other than myself had now fingered me and tasted me. "There is something I want to show you." She told me. She got onto my bed kneeling forward with her buttocks raised and asked me to kneel behind her with my hands gently opening her buttocks whilst I watched. I could see her yOni lips and detected that familiar scent of her sex, that I associated with my own until then. She began to finger herself, rubbing her clitoris at the same time. She began to moan. I realised that she was letting me watch her masturbate. Within a short while the inevitable happened and she experienced her orgasm, but something that was unusual to me also happened. She let out a quick stream of liquid covering my breasts, which I associated with pee. This was her squirt, much more than I could ever achieve. She explained that it was not pee, but love juice that all women and girls released. And then it was my turn. I sat on my bed with my legs apart, I shown her exactly how I did it. Again, my "love juice" just a meagre trickle. Orgasms in those early years were fast and furious. We had not yet learned to ride or edge them out to make them last. However, my earlier bicycle experience was no doubt an orgasm which I was enjoying enough to crash my bicycle.

Jules and I would often become sexually intimate from that first time. We would kiss and finger each other to rapid orgasms. Sleep hugging each other naked whenever we could with lots of deep passionate kissing. Our sexual relationship was sealed and accomplished. Although we knew ourselves what was going on between us, it had to be kept a big secret. Not only did we have that girl on girl relationship, we found ourselves interested in lads and of course other girls. The showers after gym became an interesting venue to peep at other girls we knew. For me it added to my ever growing fantasies and it also made me wonder about my own sexuality. I looked to Jules for an answer and she told me about the strange man she was seeing and that he would give us pornographic videos to look at. Jules was convinced she was something she called bi curious. Jules was at that time the only person I had experienced any sex with, yet she had been having sex with myself and her stranger, a man apparently much older than herself. I never really did understand why she kept up that relationship with him, but she assured me there was no love between them, not like her and myself. I realised at that time that there was real love involved.

The first time date with a lad soon came and lasted no more than two weeks. Liam and I would count him as my first date. We would hang around together with mixed groups of girls and guys, as he would look after me. I liked him at first as a friend and it would become intimate in the way I would let him feel my breasts whilst we kissed intimately. He offered to let me feel how hard he was but even though I wanted to out of curiosity I stopped myself, not wanting it to lead to anything serious. Basically I loved the way he made me feel during our kissing and him feeling my breasts at the same time made me so wet alone. I was discovering the erotic side of relationships, and when Jules and I watched those videos together it became awesome the things I saw. Together we would watch and get involved in joint masturbation, only slow and sensual, touching our yOni lips for a long time before bringing ourselves off. "I'll bring us some toys. Now that will be fun." She told me. I had watched how vibrators and dildos were used, and became instantly excited to try them myself and especially the times Jules would be with me to share.

Soon Jules and I embarked on using toys on each other. The big black dildo (bbd) became a ten inch black cock and my favourite toy of all. The vibrator I did not like so much. I loved the way the bbd felt each time I pushed it slowly into my tight vagina, and once it was in I could thrust it in and out whilst I fingered the hood of my clitoris. The bbd would get covered in my vaginal cream, which made penetration easier until I climaxed. Jules and I soon learned to give each other cunnilingus which I found most intimate.

The pornographic videos shown me something I became most curious about and that was a man's spunk. Jules had been involved in giving a man oral sex and had experienced taking his cum on her face and even into her mouth to swallow and I was so intrigued. She invited me to join her with the stranger, but I stopped right at that point. There was no way I was going to meet the man whom I considered as a pervert who used her for so long. If I was going to experience oral sex with a man then it would have to be someone I could trust. Oral sex was not the only thing I fantasised having with a man, but also sexual intercourse itself and losing my virginity officially, and not to a bicycle seat. My catholic values were still strong in my mind and I needed to choose someone special who was above all clean, without any venereal diseases.

Marcus became my second date with a guy. He was so gorgeous and he had a car. We could go somewhere quiet where we would be alone. I removed all of my clothes and so I stripped naked for him. To me it became a thrill and we would kiss whilst he groped my breasts. This would give me an amazing tingling sensation throughout my body, not the same as an orgasm but similar. In return I would take his hard cock and wank him off nice and slowly, hearing him moan and then tremble as he reached his orgasmic climax, watching and feeling his loads of thick creamy spunk spill over my hand. But I did not taste it, nor did I want to give Marcus oral sex. He understood that I was not ready yet to go that far, but he did have future ambitions. I would let him finger fuck me, but it did not count as intercourse and my virginity was still safe, and which he did so well, apart from it was too quick to climax. Afterwards, like I did with Jules, all I wanted was an intimate hugging and kissing. Marcus never got the chance to fuck me, which he intended. He lasted just short of a month. I had for the first time contact during that relationship with a real cock and experienced the feel and the texture of male spunk. For The first time in my life I gave someone of the opposite sex actual sexual pleasure, and I enjoyed doing it.

The relationship between Jules and I grew stale, and the main reason was her new habit. She started smoking and even the drug cannabis weed, which her stranger gave her. He was trying to control her. Her breath was difficult to handle including her moods, but no matter what I loved her so much. It did not need the sex to keep us together. I would cry in pity for her. Even go to church and pray for her. And I was desperate to find the right man to take my virginity. It was not long before I found such a person. It was Christmas time and I was vacating on my uncle's farm. There I met the farmhand Robert.

He was mature and married with children, but I befriended him and in a way to be honest I fell in love with him the more we became familiar with each other. I fantasised about how he would make love to me, but the hardest task of all was to seduce him into doing it. I was young compared to him and he had a family. I had to get him involved with something that would be a secret, something just between us. One dark and cold afternoon I crept into the barn where he was working. All that I wore was a warm coat, woolly gloves and a pair of wellington boots. We greeted each other as usual and I watched him stacking the bales of hay. I smiled at him. "I wish it was warmer." I told him. I was shivering with the cold. He came over to me and noticed and then I opened my coat to reveal my nakedness. "You know the favour I asked the other day?" I said. He just stared at me and nodded. "Will you?" Quickly he dashed over to me and closed my coat holding me tightly. I began to cry because I was so full of emotions. It was the only way I could think of to convince him that I wanted him. He was that man I was seeking out. Nobody else would do.

On the night I arranged for Robert to visit me it was cold, but my bedroom was cosy and warm. It was at the rear of the main farmhouse and he could climb up to my window. I was not disappointed when I heard the tap on the glass. I opened my curtains and there he was. I let him in and explained that my room was in a part of the house where sound was hardly heard elsewhere. A certain degree of noise was tolerable. He quickly stripped naked and stood before me. "So, am I that man you so desperately wanted you little minx?" He said jovially. He was everything I dreamed of. His cock was hard, longer and thicker than I expected. It was to be my real bbd. He also had hairs on his broad muscular chest which I also wanted in my fantasies. "You know the conditions of this right?" he said "It's our secret. If any of this gets to my wife it will be the finish of our marriage." I understood those conditions quite clearly even though I had fallen in love with him.

I offered him oral sex. It would have been my first time ever. He refused and wanted total control, lifting me and throwing me onto the bed. I did not know what to expect as I lay there with my legs open wide. He smiled and reassured me that everything was going to be fine and most of all he would be gentle. He lifted my nightdress and began to kiss and suck on my aroused nipples. It felt so good and then he kissed his way downwards to my groin, opening my legs wider and resting them over each shoulder. He nuzzled into my unshaven groin, opening my yOni lips with his fingers and taking in my scent. I wondered if he was going to be as good as Jules. His cunnilingus was heavenly and he made my orgasm last so long. I realise today he had actually made me edge my orgasm, stopping before I really did climax. He used his fingers deep inside of me, finger fucking and his tongue actions were simply awesome upon my clitoris. He then pulled me to the end of the bed, raised my legs so that they were against his shoulders and buttocks raised. My yOni was directly in line with his hard cock. He asked me if he should use protection, but I refused. "Are you ready minx?" he asked with a grin. "If it hurts just tell me to stop." He ran the head of his cock between my wet lips for a short while and slowly entered me. It felt like the bbd entering me, opening me up inside. Once I had the full length and thickness of him filling me up he began to push and pull into me slowly. Each thrust made me tingle all over has his cock worked on me. It was for real at last.

During the slow hard fucking I enjoyed so much, I counted it as the moment I had officially lost my virginity. I wanted more. Even though he came inside of me, he remained rock hard. I straddled him, changing positions and I fucked him three times, it just came to me so naturally, and I counted our orgasms and the feel of his warm spunk shooting into me. I had taken my own control whilst he squeezed my breasts gently, sometimes pulling me to his for some delightful passionate kissing. The whole thing was awesome and lasted ages. It was unprotected sex too, and he had filled me with so much of his spunk.

I did not want "my Robert" to leave me ever, but he belonged to someone else. We made a promise that if I should become pregnant, the child must not be his, ever. I agreed. It was a dangerous risk I was willing to take. He was only mine for a few hours and we kissed and hugged so passionately. He made love to me four times in those precious hours. "Remember little one, this is just our secret." He kept on reminding me. I felt that he would not trust me, but I proved him wrong if he had doubts. For many years that followed we would casually meet in the local village or town. I would sigh knowing how much I really did love him at that time. He will never be forgotten, ever. His little minx had now grown up into a woman. At the time I thought that Robert had loved me in the same way I thought I had loved him, but he was gone. In a way I tricked him and he took advantage of me.

The following two months were worrying. I was lucky that my periods had shown and I was not pregnant. If ever I did get pregnant my family would have disowned me. They would disown me if they even knew I was having sex. I was also clean and vowed that I would never have sexual intercourse without protection ever again. And now I was no longer a virgin I wanted to experience sex with males even more, even though I loved Jules. The compassionate love I had for Jules was unique and although a little unstable. However, in a way we trusted each other.

I discovered that Jules's habit for cannabis had turned into an addiction and the strange man she was seeing was no longer grooming her. He had found someone younger and she was having to beg him for her supplies. We both had a secret to keep from both our families and peers, and it was not going to be easy. And then one day I noticed the razor blade marks on her forearms. Very quickly she had joined the many thousands seeking psychiatric help. I however escaped that insane time of our lives.

I became a nymphet, seeking satisfaction for my own habits. After Robert, I found myself needing cock wherever I could get it. I would date, have sex and then move on to the next willing guy. Still not having had oral sex with a male. Something inhibited me in my mind that told me that I had not yet met the right person. Robert would have been. However, I became desperate for sex with Jules, but she was too ill, spending weeks in and out of psychiatric hospital. I wondered if I could have sex with another female. But it was only Jules I loved.

During my dates with at least thirteen lads I discovered that, eyes closed, most of them were amazing passionate kissers during sex and foreplay. However, after we had sex I wanted more hugging and kissing, but very few would take part. From this experience I definitely decided that Robert was still best of all and my conclusion from then on was mature men had to be the best for sex. I began to understand and realise why Jules befriended an older man despite his grooming and getting her into a mess.

I used to go on vacation to our family villa in Ibiza. It was there I noticed men taking sexual interest in me on the topless beaches and unrestricted bars. I began to realise that it would be very easy for me to seduce them if I wanted to. And most of them were amazingly handsome and sexy to me. I would tingle just thinking about the things I could do with them. During those vacations I became a manic masturbator whenever and wherever I could just fantasising. I just had to find out if I could find another Robert, who would give me lots of endless sex and passion over and over, not just a quick fuck and it is over. I was a nymphet and I had to use that. But I had to be an innocent nymphet in order to seduce them even more. I was about to launch my plan with fervour and it was going to be fun.