Diary of a CH Pt. 03

Story Info
The light at the end of a very long tunnel.
4k words
4.29
53.1k
45

Part 3 of the 3 part series

Updated 06/09/2023
Created 07/01/2018
Share this Story

Font Size

Default Font Size

Font Spacing

Default Font Spacing

Font Face

Default Font Face

Reading Theme

Default Theme (White)
You need to Log In or Sign Up to have your customization saved in your Literotica profile.
PUBLIC BETA

Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.

You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.

Click here
Erringfoil
Erringfoil
196 Followers

What was also clear to me know more than ever was just how much I LET her rule my life.

Anger, depression and hurt surged through me. I felt as if a knife had been stabbed through my heart all over again. It was time to put an end to this farce. Taking one last look at the pathetic reflection in the mirror, I decided that it was time that I finally did something.

Still seven months ago:

Waking up I decided that today was a new day, and my future started here. To my amazement I was even able to appear affectionately towards Zoe over the phone.

My next step was obvious; I needed to talk to someone. My problem was that although we had a lot of friends, most of them were Zoe's. True or best friends were always difficult for me. In short, I had two. Paul was somewhere in India finding himself, so I called Sarah. She held a double advantage, one she could give me the female perspective and secondly, she was the smartest person I knew. A brief chat over the phone and she understood how dire my situation really was. Within minutes, she was back on the phone. She'd cancelled all her appointments for the day and was on her way over! After recanting the worst twenty-four hours in history, well at least mine, she simply took charge!

The solicitor we met shortly before lunch was helpful and efficient but in truth told me I was screwed. On the surface Zoe had a great job, I was part time. Without Zoe's income I had no chance of keeping the house for me and Ellie. Secondly although I had proof of adultery, in the eyes of the courts this was secondary to the best upbringing for the child. In short if I pushed for a divorce, Zoe would walk away with everything.

So, option one of simply burning the bitch would have to be put on hold.

The second thing she suggested was that I contacted Daniel. He was an old friend of ours from Uni. Modern terms would be a computer geek. We became friends when TGL needed technical support. He was shy, retiring and socially awkward, but put him in front of a computer and he was a genius.

Sarah and I invited him back to mine and for the next two hours, he worked his magic. He'd hacked Zoe's Mac, giving me unfettered access to every email she received now and in the future. Her iPhone wasn't going to present a problem as he gave me a little device that would enable me to clone her phone. All I had to do was get close enough to it. Therefore, by tonight I would have full access to everything. All her emails, calls and texts. The only thing I would have to do by hand would be to copy her diary each morning when she left for work.

For the first time I felt that I might just survive this!

That completed, Sarah and Daniel took me to a local restaurant to fatten me up. "When was the last time you ate?" She asked me accusingly. "Look, Ellie is YOUR priority now! However, you can't take care of her if you can't take care of yourself."

She was right, although I had managed somehow to take care of Ellie and get her to day care this morning, I had been neglecting myself. I couldn't tell her when I had last eaten!!

Somehow now, I realised that to survive I had to detach myself from all this hurt and pain for the sake of my daughter. Yes, I knew that this futility made me a cuckold but the only other option I mused to myself was the act of actually killing her!

Therefore, for the next two months I lived as if my life was in limbo. My job sucked, my pretend marriage sucked. I suppose it told you all about the state of my marriage, because Zoe was either too busy or unconcerned to notice! My only joy was spending more quality time with Ellie, she was my rock and she was growing up way too fast.

The problem I quickly encountered was that I continually struggled to contain my emotions. At least once I nearly let the cat out of the preverbal bag. My solution and salvation surprised me.

Each day I wrote down my thoughts about Zoe's infidelity in a journal. A warped sense of absolution, like Zoe's diary. Of course I gave myself full artistic license and I fully allowed my anger and imagination to get the better of me. Therefore, my accounts became vivid and more elaborate, the truth became almost secondary. However, in short if it was happening on the pages then it wasn't happening to me in real life. Therefore, my life didn't suck and my wife wasn't having an affair! I didn't say in was a perfect plan, but in short it help me greatly and provided me with a new reflection on life.

The wind of change:

Zoe was away again for work, only this time it appeared genuine as lover boy was stuck here in good old Blighty. She was in sunny Madrid with delegates from Boxshall Holdings. My life probably would have followed the same path if it hadn't been for Sarah crashing at mine for the night. She'd recently split with her girlfriend and needed a release. We decided to hit the town!

Ellie was away with the in-laws for the week, so I was free to trot. We'd met up with a group of old friends and painted the town red. Laughter had been followed by laughter. At some point a taxi managed to drop two drunken souls back at my house. I don't know how it started but suddenly my façade cracked. Two months of hiding my broken heart, two months of pretending that I had a loving and faithful wife and two months of trying to recover from total and utter desolation. Anger resentment, hurt and absolute failure flowed through me and the next thing I knew I was a broken man in floods of tears. Sarah, well she was a rock. Even in her inebriated state she took control. She managed to calm me down and started the process of trying to sober me up.

I remember laughing at her when she mentioned how well she thought I had handled the last two months and how calm I appeared. "If you only knew the truth," I shouted. She must have given me a doubtful look, for the next thing I remember was that I was shoving pages of my journal in her direction. "Here, two months of misery and the musings of a cuckolded husband!!"

All of a sudden, the enormity of my life hit me hard. The protection of the journal had been bested by the alcohol consumed and the concern of a friend. Anger, shame and failure consumed me and before I could fall further into the impending abyss I quickly took myself off to bed. I must be dreaming for I remember hearing my voice being called. Waking up I see Sarah standing by the edge of my bed looking down on me. As I said, I was dreaming, for she was standing there naked. Confusion must have shown on my face, for she seductively started to crawl across the bed towards me. "I've wanted to do this for a long time," she smiles, before kissing my naked body.

Any thoughts about the fact that I was married lasted for barely a second as the blood rushed from my brain to a different part of my anatomy. We locked in a passionate embrace as my hands started to roam all over her gorgeous curves.

"Please be gentle, it's been a long time since I've been with a man." She said in almost a whisper as she willingly gave me her body. In my drunken lust filled haze, I would like to say that I was gentle. I imagine the truth was something quite different. I was so sexually charged that I simply just devoured her. She was mine and I just took her again and again!

In the cold light of the morning, I was greeted by both an almighty hangover and the shame about my actions.

Whatever fears I harboured were quickly dispelled and before I had a chance to examine my actions, my body started to give me away. I was roused from my sleeping slumber by the effects of Sarah's luscious lips circling my cock. Hungrily and skilfully she attacked me. Before I even realised it, I had my hands held firmly over her head as she graciously accepted everything I had to offer.

Without giving her a chance to say anything I quickly returned the favour. Swiftly I switched positions and I started to kiss her gorgeous body. I started with her breasts, teasing, kneading and sucking. Next, I started to travel south before I nestled between her thighs. I was quickly greeted with the wonderful sounds of pleasure escaping her lips. Gently teasing and exploring I could feel her orgasm build in her. Twice she was close before I withdrew. Her words and pleads became desperate as she craved the sexual release. Finally, my tongue went into overdrive and I allowed the build up to become more intense before the orgasm ripped through her.

I was in heaven and I didn't want this morning to end. One reason for my tortuous playing with her was to allow my tired body a chance to recover. Before she had a chance to come down from her orgasm I had already spread her willing legs. Giving myself one chance to look upon perfection I drove my cock straight in. I felt her body immediately contract and her words became incoherent. We quickly shifted positions. I always enjoyed Zoe riding me cowgirl and this morning was going to be no different. Sarah seemed lost in an orgasm filled haze for she simply rode me, faster and faster until we both exploded together.

Two sated and satisfied lovers, collapsed together in a heap.

At some point I must have fallen asleep because when I awoke the clock said it was nearly midday. She was still asleep. I was immediately torn once it was time to go back to reality, however I just didn't want to lose this moment. We compromised and for the next hour we just lay in each other's arms, kissing and holding each other. Finally, the end was nigh, so with a laugh and a whole-hearted kiss, we sealed what was a perfect night!

Finally, we made it downstairs and scrambled a very late breakfast. I could see she wanted to say something. Her face always became scrunched when she had something important to say. It was the same in Uni.

"Look, I took the plunge, last night changed nothing between us," I said looking into her deep blue eyes. "You're still my best friend; we were both too drunk and lost souls who needed each other!"

Her response surprised me. "I just want you to know how badly I needed last night. Yes, we both needed it and the drink and everything else played its part. You do need to know that I enjoyed everything. I MEAN everything. Also, no you've not converted me or anything but if I ever wanted to be with a man again, I would want it to be you!"

"Ok," I said rather sheepishly.

"But... but this was a wonderful onetime thing."

"I understand that, and you don't need to tell me, however can I ask you why? We've been friends a long time. We've known each other for years, we've gotten drunk so many times, Jesus we've even watched a porno movie while high on pot! You've never even come close to making a move on me until last night, what's changed?" I held her gaze, getting lost in her sparkling blue eyes.

She looked at me; I imagine deciding how much she really wanted to tell me. I was suddenly struck by a thunderbolt of reality! Shit, I hope it wasn't because she felt I needed a pity fuck. I tried to hold her gaze but with this new reality I found myself searching the floor for what was left of my fragile ego!!

"I don't know," she said without looking up, "I can't explain it."

Shit, I was right. Last night was all about how pathetic I was. She felt guilty for me, for our friendship so she gave me her body as a consolation. I seemed to sink deeper and deeper into the chair I was sitting in.

Finally, she continued as if unaware of the personal turmoil in was sinking into.

"It was your words, your musings about your wife's adventures."

My musing's, my words. OH shit. Realisation hit me of the fact that at some point in my drunken stupor I had suffered a moment of weakness and told her about my journal. Worse still, somehow, I had given her my entire journal. Was I that drunk? All of a sudden, I had a desire to wish that last night was just a pity fuck!!

No, it seems I decided to let my best friend read all about my failings and the need for my wife to seek a better lover! The last vestige of self-respect disappeared, I was a broken man.

I must have looked funny or said something; to be honest I was so lost in my own personal misery that I had stopped listening. "What DID you just say?" I asked.

"Well," she said. "I was sat downstairs reading your words and the next thing I knew I just felt incredibly horny. At first I thought it was all the alcohol we'd consumed, BUT no, it was the words in your journal. It was the passion, it was the sex! I read one scene and all of a sudden it wasn't your wife there but me. It was me being used, being screwed being dominated. IT WAS ME! And the truth was I actually wanted it to be me..." She paused,"Before I realised what was happening I started to play with myself. I discarded all my clothes. I was so horny. The next thing I knew I was standing in your room offering myself to you. All I knew was that I needed your cock. It was like I was your fuck toy and I was begging, pleading you to take me. And OH my GOD how you took me. I must admit, I do feel a bit embarrassed now that I'm saying it out loud. But, it's the truth, your words; your passion created a feeling in me and touched me deep..."

"Thank-you I guess." I wasn't sure what else I could say and the embarrassment factor was spreading to me as well. I suppose we must have looked quite a pair for the next thing we both just start laughing.

Road to recovery:

One-week later Sarah called me and suggested lunch.

"Please don't be mad!" Sarah looked efficient in her royal navy suit. Her white blouse underneath offered a suitable hint of cleavage. I couldn't believe that my first thoughts of my best friend were sexual. I slightly blushed as I knew she caught me. What was happening to me, I hadn't seen my friend for nearly a week and my first thoughts we to get her out of her clothes. It was time to pull myself together.

"Mad, why would I be mad? Sarah, what have you done?" She couldn't hold my gaze. Least that statement had taken me away from her alluring cleavage.

"Your story, your words I just stop thinking about them. I know we were both drunk but even so, I can't believe they got me so affected."

"I thought you wanted it to be only a onetime thing," I said in hope more than expectation!

A sexy smile replied, "Unfortunately as tempting it would be, I still mean it. No, I couldn't forget your words. Anyway, I had to read them again."

"You read them, how?" Silly question I know but I was venturing into uncharted territory.

"I took the printed journal home with me," this was said without any hint of remorse.

I was about to get angry, but somehow, I managed to control it.

"Do you understand how talented a writer you are? Yes, we wrote the script in Uni, but this is something special. Anyway, I mentioned to a colleague I work with. She specialises in this area and I asked her advice. I told her everything, I left nothing out." She smiled at me as if to somehow soften the blow. "Anyway, she asked if she could read it. I told her that it wasn't finished or complete."

I just sat their frozen. "HOW could you," my voice betrayed my emotions. She quickly placed her hands-on mine and before I could explode she beckoned over to a lady standing by the entrance to come and join us!

At that moment I was introduced to Erin Walters, of Eye, Trump & Adcock.

She was an attractive woman in her early thirties, slim figure, brunette and with a firm confident smile. She was wearing a simple blue dress that promoted a pleasing figure. I noticed her sparkling eyes first before I was drawn down to her ample cleavage on display. Shit, since when did I become a breast man? And now I was caught again, staring between both Erin and Sarah. I was temporarily lost in a sea of hills and valleys. Least I thought to myself before reality returned that I would die with a smile on my face.

We met continually over the next month. I was still working part-time and when Ellie was in day care it gave me most of the day to myself. Erin turned out to be quite a dictator. She was frank, blatant and mostly rude. But she knew her stuff. I could always tell how we were progressing. Her level of cleavage seemed to be a great indictor. The more on display the happier she was with my work. Despite this, our relationship remained professional.

I knew her to be married. I often imagined that she would go home and inform her husband that it was time to fuck.

Present day - my changing life:

Can you remember the moment when you realise that your life has changed irrevocable? It hits you so subtly that before you know it, you're a completely new person with new hopes and dreams. When I first uncovered my wife's betrayal, my world as I knew it ended. If it hadn't been my love and devotion towards Ellie, I wouldn't be here today. But as I said earlier, when you hit rock bottom, then the only way is up. Now, although that pain is still there, it is more like a distant memory. Yes, I'm still a cuckold, but for the first time in a long, long time, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. And it's coming up fast.

Three weeks ago, I was having lunch with Sarah and Erin, when my wife appeared at the restaurant. It wasn't a coincidence. Her affair was nearly eight months old and yet here she was standing in front of me with fire and brimstone in her eyes. That was at least until she saw Sarah.

It appeared that she had finally noticed a change in me. She was no longer the centre of my world and I was no longer as attentive towards her. All my focus was now on Ellie. Without realising it, I was coming across as almost disinterested in her. We still had sex, but it more from her urgings than mine and I no longer queried or argued about her long hours and late nights at work. She had become concerned and decided to follow me. My actions confirmed to her that I must be having an affair.

Of course, the irony was not lost on me; she was simply reading the signs of her own actions and jumped to certain conclusions. The temptation was great, but I wasn't ready to let the cat out of the bag just yet. Therefore, I just acted the clueless fool, accepted her excuse for being there and said nothing.

Embarrassed, not a chance, Zoe was quickly able to change tack and claimed that by chance she was walking by and saw me sitting here. She wanted to have lunch with me and my friends. I introduced her to Erin, I could see her eyes quickly clock Erin's wedding ring and she knew Sarah didn't date boys; she temporarily seemed relieved.

Later that night she was all over me, it was Uni all over again! The next morning, I found out that she had ended her affair with lover boy about two weeks ago. I'd stopped checking up on her, I simply didn't care anymore. Her actions couldn't hurt me anymore!

She stated that she was suspicious of my activities and concerned that I knew about them. She couldn't and wouldn't lose me, even if it cost her the promotion and her job. I suppose I should be heartened by the fact that she felt she could lose me, however after all this time I had no compassion left! The irony was, the affair simply ended when she said the word NO to him, go figure.

Reading her diary, the next day, I couldn't help but marvel at her lack of logic. If only she had done this eight months ago then we wouldn't be in this situation.

Of course, she was all over me for the next couple of nights. She wanted to know who Erin was, what did she do and why I was spending so much time with her and Sarah. I had to stop myself from laughing at one moment. I'd given an evasive answer to her hundredth question and she immediately became pissed off and started accusing me of having an affair! I so dearly wanted to give her both barrels but the time wasn't right, so I let it slide.

Erringfoil
Erringfoil
196 Followers
12