Dog Tags

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An account of my very first time.
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**The events that you are about to read are completely true. Not one thing is fabricated for interesting effect. This was the single best night of my life up until that point.

I needed to compose myself. I felt strongly for Peter but I was not willing to let him see me cry. He told me before he asked me out again that he was leaving tomorrow. I knew that was inevitable. When he picked me up I almost broke down right there. I had already planned on having sex with him. I was ready for it. I wanted my first time to be with him even if he was leaving the next day. This seems like I was setting myself up for heart break. But you see the night before...

Peter has been a family friend for as long as I can remember. Best friend to my cousin. I've always enjoyed his company but he hasn't always struck my attention.

He asked me out for Saturday night. I never date. I never found it the least bit interesting. But I accepted his invitation because I wanted to spend more time with him. He was going back to base Monday morning.

We were just hanging out with friends, he took a hold of my hand, and my heart was going a hundred miles and hour. Bringing my hand to his lips he kissed the top of my hand and held it in my lap while he was driving. We talked about things that weren't important, and things that were, he told me he really liked me, and asked how far I was willing to take our relationship knowing that he was leaving. And I told him that I really liked him too. Which I did, and that I was willing to take this as far as it went. Which he agreed with. I wasn't going to make any promises to love him forever. I wasn't going to tell him that I was fearing for falling in love with someone I wasn't sure I could have. I believe in love at first sight... but I didn't love him yet. I felt very strongly about him and I cared about him very much. I told him I have never kissed anyone before. And that I was nervous for that. And he chuckled lightly to himself. He liked how innocent I was. He was amused that I obviously felt comfortable enough with him to tell him my reservations.

On our way home he asked me if he would be out of line if he kissed me. I was shocked. I didn't know what to do or say. I finally was able to pull myself together long enough to tell him no, that it would be just fine. He was happy about this. And I was freaking out. I realized that this was the point where I would make or break any chance of a relationship with him. It is said that a first kiss tells a lot about a person. Not only was this going to be my first kiss with him, but my first kiss period. He felt confident enough to step up and be that person for me.

I directed him to this park by my house. It is lake front and private. I wanted him to do it. I just wanted it to be special. I wanted it to mean something. And this location was going to do that for me. We got out of the car and made our way to a picnic table out of the reach of the lights that lit up the parking lot dimly. He sat down on the bench and I sat down next to him. He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled my body so it rested against his. I lay my head on his shoulder and we sat there and looked at the lake in silence.

Not a word was uttered. Not one. We just watched the lake ripple. I was so sick to my stomach, because I knew what silence led to. And it surely did. He tilted my chin toward him and he just looked into my eyes, almost questioning whether or not I was going to allow him to kiss me like he so desperately wanted. What he found he apparently enjoyed. He smiled at me, but I had to look away. A concerned look crossed his face. He turned my face closer to him; I needed to change my expression. He wasn't allowed to know how scared I was. He wasn't allowed to see my weakness; I wasn't going to ruin my first kiss with my fears. And with his fingers curled under my chin he brought his lips to mine. The sweet sensation of his warm soft lips against mine was enough to melt most of what was keeping me reserved. He kissed me softly again, and again. Each time I loosened up more and more. And what I was waiting for, I felt the tip of his tongue on my lower lip. But instead of doing what I wanted, and allowing him to enter my lips, I broke our kiss and turned away from him.

He lay his head down on my shoulder and sighed. I felt ridiculous. There is no reason I couldn't have let him kiss me like that. It's what I wanted. I sighed out of frustration and lay my head on top of his. Neither of us said a word. We just sat in silence. Finally he decided he wasn't satisfied with just sitting there any longer. He sat up; with his hand around my waist he pulled me even closer to him.

Hooking me under the knee he placed my leg over his lap. His other hand found its way to my neck. Tilting my head backward. He kissed my neck, and the part of my chest that was visible over top of my sweater, I had never been touched the way he was touching me. My back arched slightly, and he made his way back up my neck. Behind my ear, along my jaw, back to my lips. He kissed me sweet like he did before. And this time, I was the one who made the move for exploration. I copied his motion from before. Flicking my tongue lightly across his lower lip. But unlike I had done, his lips parted slightly allowing me access.

His tongue met mine, and at this moment I decided that I loved him. Of course I did not tell him. But rather I was going to show him. I wasn't going to be the first to explore, so I allowed him to do so by retreating my tongue back into my mouth. He followed closely with his own. And I kissed him passionately, and things started to heat up.

We continued to kiss, and I loved every minute of it. He had his hand on my hip. And I felt him slowly move his hand up my side. Holding me against his chest tightly. He relaxed and his hand moved back down my side. His hand on my hip again. His fingers flipped under my sweater. The warmth of his skin against my own made me shudder. I even went so far as breaking our kiss, our lips hovered, and we breathed in each other's air. Even with our broken kiss, his hand continued to move up my side under my sweater. He kissed me again, but somehow the sensation was heightened.

His fingers trailed the bottom of my camisole. Which was the only thing stopping him from his goal. He was clearly frustrated that the elastic band was in his path. Instead of violating the barrier that I had created with my clothing choice, his hand made its way back down my stomach. And across the band of my jeans, this was not going to stop him. He quickly and efficiently undid the zipper and the button. Almost as if at the same time. Slowing he slid his fingers under the band of my panties. I was no longer nervous and I was allowing him to do so. He was surprised I was going to let him do this.

His fingers reached my clitoris and not by choice but by natural instinct I moved myself to give him better access to the rest of me. I kissed him sweeter but harder. I wanted him to continue. And he did. Moving his fingertips rhythmically, I couldn't continue to kiss him. and he understood. I was straddling his lap. My hands on his shoulders, my knees on the bench on either side of him. Muffling the sounds of my pleasure into his shoulder and neck. I would kiss his neck every once in awhile. He did exactly what I wanted. And I didn't even have to tell him he already knew. Sliding his fingers further, palm against my pelvis. He shrugged his shoulder; he wanted me to kiss him. So I pulled myself together, moved my head from the crook of his neck to press my lips to his. I opened my mouth slightly, awaiting his tongue. And at the exact same second, his tongue slid into my mouth, and his fingers hooked themselves inside of me.

I shuddered in pleasure. No one other than myself had ever been inside me like that. I started to cry, not a sob. But tears of joy ran down my face. He could feel them against his cheeks. He stopped moving his hand, and broke our kiss. He kissed the tears off my cheek. I whispered into his ear,

"I'm ok. You aren't hurting me, just making me very happy."

He smiled. I wiped my tears from his face with my thumbs. I cupped his face and kissed him sweetly. He continued, and thrust his fingers into me harder, and more frequently. Rubbing my clit with his thumb. His other hand couldn't stand not to touch me any longer. He pushed it back up my sweater, and again stopped at the elastic. I couldn't stand it. He wasn't afraid to finger me, but he was afraid of this barrier, like I had purposefully put it there so he couldn't touch my breast.

I pulled my hands off of his shoulders; I pulled his hand out from underneath my shirt. He immediately stopped kissing me, and stopped fingering me. Almost like he thought I was uncomfortable with what he was doing. He went to move his hand out of my jeans, I quickly stopped him. I grabbed his wrist. He just looked at me confused. I put my hand on top of his. And guided it back to where I wanted it. Sliding both his two fingers with my two fingers on top of his into myself.

Forcing his motion, he cocked a very crooked smile and raised his eyebrows at me. He wanted to see what I was going to do next. I removed my hand from atop of his. I pulled my hand out of my jeans. And brought my fingers to my mouth, sucking lightly on my fingers tasting myself. His eyes dilated and his grip on my hip got tighter. I smiled. And kissed him so he could taste along with me. Which he later told me drove him absolutely wild.

I broke this amazing kiss to give him what he so desperately wanted. I leaned backward away from him, and he held me tight so I wouldn't fall. I pulled my shirts over my head. Leaving just my bra. I placed them on the table.

I pressed my body against him. his hand slid up my back. And undid my bra with one hand while he continued to pull me closer by my pelvis. Sliding my bra straps off my shoulders, I placed it on the table next to my clothes. He pushed me back so I was leaning back. He wanted to see. And he liked what he saw. I was proud to be adored this way.

But he suddenly stopped. Picking my leg up off the bench he moved it to the other side of him. my legs draped over his lap he picked me up and lay me down on the bench. My head supported by my sweater. He straddled the bench. Kissed me sweetly and kindly on the lips. His kisses trailed from my lips, down my neck. Across my shoulder, across my chest. His lips grazed my nipples. Taking each one into his mouth. Flicking them gently with his tongue. Sucking lightly, gently biting. Licking it quick again. Kissing down my stomach. Sucking, licking, biting, all the way down. Dragging his hands down my sides. Making me shiver in the cold lake air.

My hands were gripped in my hair. I was just thinking. Thinking about how I managed to get from afraid to kiss him, to allowing him to nibble on every visual inch of my body. His hands slid underneath me and into my jeans. His rough hands cupping my ass his thumbs hooked over my jeans band. He slid them down to my knees. Now my mind was racing. Was I willing to stop him? Was this what I wanted? How could I tell him no? Did I actually let it get this far so quickly? Would he listen if I told him no?

My heart rate must have doubled. Surprisingly enough he didn't make a motion for the bulge in his own jeans. I was almost confused. His kisses continued. Across my hips. He kissed my clit. Flicked his tongue across it. Sucked on it lightly. He slid his fingers into me, and continued that. I was ecstatic. I couldn't control myself. His other hand gripping my ass. I arched against him. and finally he spoke.

"You're absolutely beautiful." His voice had a certain husk to it, there was a restraint. "I would usually suggest that we move to the woods. But not this time."

I couldn't speak. It was as if those words put to rest all of my fears, but yet brought so many questions. I must have looked severely confused because he said

"No, not that I don't want to, believe me I do,"

I sat up and pulled my pants back up. He took my hand off my zipper and placed my hand on his lap. I could feel his erection. I gave him a look of confusion,

"I told you, I really want to, but we can't. Not tonight, you have a curfew."

"Crap!"

He smiled, I had completely forgotten about the time. I almost leapt off the bench. I faced away from him as I untangled my shirts. He stood up behind me. Wrapping his arms around my waist. He zipped and buttoned my jeans for me. Sliding his hands up my stomach and cupped my breasts. Kissing my neck, and ear. He turned me around. Pulled me against him. My breasts pressed against his chest. His arms wrapped around my back. He kissed me again. Different than before, it was slower, deeper, more passionate than even our passionate kisses. He helped me put my shirts back on. And kissed my forehead.

"You're adorable." I was shaking again. Making things not awkward was the key here.

He held my hand and led me back to the car, opening my door for me. I sat in his car, and my mind was racing. This couldn't be the last I was going to see him. I won't forgive myself if I let this pass. He got back in the car.

"Well, are we still on for tomorrow afternoon?"

I had completely forgotten! Our intended date night was supposed to be tomorrow! This was one of those spur of the moment get togethers.

"Yes, absolutely!" I answered a little too zealously. But he just chuckled and gave me a quick kiss.

"You're so cute. You just can't wait. I'm so sorry I didn't think of being with you sooner. You are positively sex starved."

"I am sex starved by choice. I don't need your pity." For some reason I took what he had said to heart. He laughed at me.

"Babe I didn't mean it in a bad way. We don't even have to have sex. I was just saying that I can tell it's something you want and something that I'm more than willing to give you."

"I know. I can tell. We both want each other." His hand slid up my thigh and rubbed me through the crotch of my jeans.

"Still want me?" He wasn't even looking at me. He was just driving.

"Yes," I pulled his hand up to my mouth and sucked on his finger tips. Each one individually. Finally I got to his thumb. I put the tip in my mouth. Sucking a little harder, sliding it all into my mouth, and swallowing. He pulled the car over. I was distracting him that much.

"oh...and I think that answers my next question." I smirked.

"I want you so bad."

"But sadly I have a curfew." I blinked at him innocently. "You know, it's wrong to tease someone with something they can't have."

"Oh, I see. You're teasing me..." He composed himself and pulled back onto the road. Not saying a word past that. He drove me home in silence. He didn't touch me. He didn't look at me. I just watched him, with my smirk.

He pulled into my driveway. Shut the car off and walked around the front. He opened my car door. And gave me his hand to let me out. I took it and got out of the car. He closed my door. And shoved me against it. With my back to the door. I hit the car with enough force that my breathing cut out for a moment. It didn't hurt, I was just surprised. It was a display of strength.

He pinned my arms to the car, and kissed me hard and rough. The look in his eye was fiery and almost scary.

"You know beautiful, when you tease the wrong person, they will just take what they want from you." His voice was quiet but had that husk of restraint.

"You know, you can't take it from me if I want you to have it." I put this sharpness behind my words. It came off very sexy. I had transformed into this different person. He closed his eyes. He was calming himself down.

"I want you so bad!" He whispered harshly. His hands gripped my wrists harder. And then released me. He rubbed his eyes. He pulled me off the car door. Kissing my wrists gently, he kissed me on the forehead. And lead me to the front door. He held both of my hands up to my chest, so I wouldn't touch him, and so he wasn't tempted to. He kissed me gently on the lips. And I went inside; closing the door behind me, I dead bolted it. It was the only thing keeping me from running back out to him...

Finally the long time of teasing was over. No longer was I going to have to wait. We were finally alone. We pulled into the parking lot of a place that was emotional for him, his high school. Some of the best days, and some of the worst days of his life happened here, and he was sharing this with me.

"We can sit here and talk if you'd like." Why did he think that would be ok with me?

"Or we can get out and walk?" He laughed at me, not mockingly but just his usual, allow me to have what I want laugh.

"Or we could go on a walk." He shut the car off, and walked around and opened my door. Taking my hand as if I were made of glass and needed constant supervision.

I stepped over that guard rail that blocked the parking lot from the baseball field, and he followed. We just held hands and talked about playing sports in high school, something I didn't do. I liked singing better and over the years I have gotten very good at it.

We weaved our way over to the stands. I kissed him finally, sweetly and gentle, not at all heated like last night. He kissed me even sweeter. Why was he so gentle with me? Being a marine I realize that he could break me in half if he really wanted to. He was afraid to hurt me. Why?? I so desperately wanted him to hold me tighter; he was so gentle it hurt.

"Come here and sit down." He motioned toward the bleachers. He sat, but I had a different idea.

"No, wait I want to go over here." He stood back up and gave me a questioning look. "You'll see."

I lead him across the baseball field and onto the practice football field. I made my way to my destination of choice... the fifty yard line. I stopped and he just stood there with his head cocked to the side like I had completely baffled him with my motives. I took off my shoes, and placed my phone and ring in my shoe. Scooting them far enough away from us that they wouldn't get knocked over.

I sat down in the grass and he sat next to me. Laying back on the grass and looking up at the stars. He lay on his side and watched me.

"What are you up to?" He whispered playfully.

I pulled him closer to me by the collar of his shirt. I kissed him hard on the lips, and he caught on. Kissing me more feverishly.

"What do you want?" He whispered in my ear.

"If you don't take my shirt off, I'm going to." He chuckled and helped me pull it over my head. I reached behind me for the clasp of my bra, but he stopped me.

"I can do that without you." He was very prideful when it came to doing things on his own. His hand quickly undid the clasp and he pulled my bra off as I shrugged out of the straps.

The cold air met my exposed chest and shivered. He kissed me on the lips rough like I was begging for. He moved his lips down my chest, biting softly down my stomach. Shuddering at every touch. I hadn't even noticed that he had unfastened my jeans. As he moved down further he pulled my pants to my knees slowly. He knew exactly what he was doing. Granted I positive he had more experience than I. have always written sex scenes in stories, but now that I actually felt what I had been imagining since I was fourteen.

Every touch brought a different emotional sense. I was unable to think. This was a first for me. The only thought going through my mind was "I have to be dreaming."

I may have mentioned at one point in time that I enjoyed a loss of control and he took this one to a new level. I really wanted him to just do what he wanted, I wasn't going to object. As dangerous as that sounds, I trusted him. He was David's friend after all. I was in good hands. He had already proven that he wouldn't hurt me, not even when I wanted him to.

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