Don't Let Life Pass You By

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She finds a partner to avoid ending up like her parents.
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The following is a true story. The names have been changed to protect those involved.

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At the time of this story I had been dating my boyfriend Mike for about four years. We were both 21 and had been together since high school. We were each other's first and only and I always thought that was really special. I loved him a lot, we got along great, did a lot of fun things together, and the sex was good. I realize now that I really didn't have anything to compare it to, but it was still good. Even though things were good, after four years, I was starting to get a little bored. I still loved Mike a lot, but it was at this point in our relationship that I realized the parallels between us and my parents and I didn't want us to go down the same path.

My parents had a similar start as us. They had met in high school, got married a few years later, and started a family really young. Fast forward approximately 30 years and they always fight, they haven't slept in the same room for over 10 years, and I highly doubt they have had sex in the same amount of time. This is no way to live and I'm not sure why they didn't get a divorce, but it was probably because of me and my older sisters. At 21 I was the youngest of three girls. My older sisters were 27 and 29 at the time. For the most part my parents kept up appearances for us, but we could all tell that they fell out of love and stopped having fun a long time ago.

I don't know what triggered it, maybe it was because I was getting a little bored with Mike after so much time, but even though I still loved him, I started to fixate on the similarities between us and my parents. The main thing that ruined my parents was their early start. I'm not sure if they realized it then, but I could tell by their actions that they felt like they had been held back and resented each other for it. As far as I know, they had only been with each other and never experienced what it was like to be with someone else. Without going into details, I think that over the years they both suspected each other of cheating for this very reason. I was starting to realize that life is too short to limit myself like this and end up miserable like they are.

This is when I decided I needed to do something to prevent this from happening to me. I didn't want to end up like my parents, feeling like I missed out. I wanted to know what it would be like to be with someone else. Life is definitely too short and although I really loved and cared for Mike, I started to feel like I needed to experience more, and soon, while I was still young and had the chance. To do so I had to come up with a plan so he wouldn't find out because I didn't want to lose him in the process.

I started to think about a plan, but instead of starting with how, I realized I needed to start with who I wanted to be with. I had to figure out exactly what I wanted first and that would help me decide if I really wanted it at all. As I thought about it, I realized I definitely didn't want to pick up some random guy. I knew it wouldn't be good with someone I didn't know or care about. I'm an emotional person and I needed someone I had a connection with, someone I cared about and trusted. I wanted the experience to be one of not only lust, but also passion and if possible, love. Otherwise it wouldn't be worth the risk. This narrowed the potential list greatly.

It couldn't be any of my guy friends or my boyfriend's either, they were too risky and I wasn't really attracted to any of them. They were also too much like my boyfriend and the whole point was to experience something new and different. The prospects were really starting to thin out and I hadn't really even started.

Where could I find someone I knew and trusted, that would be fun to be with, and would keep the secret? I racked my brain of all the guys I knew, but no one fit that criteria and I came up empty. I started to get frustrated, so I really started to expand the list of potential guys to ones I knew through other people like my sisters. My older sister Kim was in and out of relationships and wasn't seeing anyone at the time, so she was a dead-end. I never liked any of her guy friends or boyfriends anyway. She always seemed to attract the wrong guy. My eldest sister Anne had a few guy friends that I thought were cute, but I never had a chance to get to know them well enough because of our age difference, so that was a dead-end too. My last resort was through her long-term boyfriend Keith. Since they had been dating for so long he had some friends that I got to know, but they were not my type and I didn't really know them well enough to trust them. Another dead-end.

Anne and Keith had been dating since I was 15. Over the years I really got to know and trust him. He was part of the family. He had helped me with my homework in high school and some of my college work too. He always jumped at the chance to help me. He was a genuinely nice guy. At a few points over the years, before I met Mike, I had a crush on him and even fantasized about being with him, but I had always put it out of my mind because of my sister and eventually Mike. However, this recent realization about my parents and the trouble I was having finding someone made it harder and harder to put him out of my mind. I ended up thinking about him more and more. It eventually got to the point where every time I tried to think about alternatives, I always ended up thinking of him, which I tried to convince myself would obviously not work.

After many more attempts at finding someone else, I reluctantly kept coming to the conclusion that Keith would be the perfect person for this as much as I didn't want to admit it. Sometimes the answer is right in front of you and you just don't see it, or deliberately try to ignore it. Unfortunately, this answer was my sister's boyfriend. However, I really cared about him and I knew I could trust him. I knew he cared about and trusted me too, so deep down I knew it could work as much as I tried to convince myself otherwise for obvious reasons.

Keith was a good looking guy. He was a little over six feet tall, had brown hair, and a nice athletic build. Being older, more mature and experienced was exactly what I was looking for too. I had also heard that older guys are better lovers because they aren't selfish and take their time. The more I thought about it the more I thought how much fun it could be. But I was so conflicted.

If I really was going to go down this path, I needed a way that I could pull this off without hurting anyone. Since we both had a lot to lose if it got out, I knew that if I got Keith to go along with it our secret would be safe. Neither one of us would want it to ever get out. My intention was to have this experience to make sure I didn't end up missing out like my parents did, to explore myself and someone new and in the process have fun and experience life in a different way while I still had the chance. My intention was not to do anything that would hurt my sister or my boyfriend. They could never find out, so my plan had to be perfect.

I figured I wouldn't have too much trouble convincing Keith. I had a few things going in my favor. I am about 5'3" and at the time I was around 120 lbs, had long dark hair, and a perky build. I had caught him looking at me a few times over the past few years and I was fairly certain he'd be interested. I was also 21 and he was 29. I was pretty sure that he wouldn't mind being with a younger woman, especially after being with the same person for so long. I know I was a little bored and it had only been four years for me. There is also the sister fantasy that guys have, which I hoped would work in my favor. The allure of the forbidden nature of this act wasn't lost on me either. From the moment I decided that I definitely wanted to do this, or at least seriously think about it, I got really excited. Sometimes I would get so excited thinking about how it might happen I would end up masturbating. I would fantasize about every detail of how it would be and end up so engrossed in the fantasy that I would have the most amazing orgasms. I also felt energized and alive when I was around him too, knowing that he had no idea what I was planning. I would flirt with him a little also, just to test his reaction. I loved the feeling.

It took me a few months to figure out how I wanted to go about doing it. I went through many different scenarios in my head, but I couldn't quite get something nailed down that wasn't complicated. Plus, I always got excited while planning and would end up day dreaming about how it might happen instead of actually planning. If I was alone, I almost always ended up getting aroused which would completely throw off my concentration.

I finally decided to keep it simple. Simple is always the best way to go. Keith lived with my sister in a house fairly close to me. I was still living with my parents at the time. Every once in a while I would stay over their house in the guest room just to get away from my parents. I decided that the next time my sister was away on business, I would simply make an excuse to stay over, like I had to get out of my parent's house or I had a fight with Mike. The excuse didn't really matter because I knew Keith would let me stay, he always enjoyed having company. Once I was over I would see how things went and just work my way from there.

My sister travelled fairly frequently for her job. I spoke with her and found out that she'd be travelling in a few weeks. That few weeks seemed like an eternity, but they finally passed and the time arrived. We lived in the suburbs of New York City and Anne would be in Florida on business for a few days, so I began to prepare. I got really nervous and excited knowing that the time was near. I made an appointment to get a bikini wax so that I'd be ready and I ended up waxing everything. I had never done that before. When I got home, I looked at myself in the mirror and felt so sexy. In the days leading up to it, I couldn't keep my hands off myself thinking about what might happen. Would he think I was sexy? Would he want me? Would it be awkward or comfortable? How would he feel inside me? A new person to kiss and touch, what would it be like? I had only been with Mike...I was overwhelmed with lust. All of my senses were heightened. I felt so energized and alive.

When the day arrived I was even more overwhelmed, extremely nervous and excited. I couldn't stop thinking about it. I couldn't concentrate at work. My heart was constantly racing all day. I had to leave work early to go home and calm myself down. Around 6 PM, when I knew he'd be on his way home from work, I finally built up the courage and called him. This was the first of many big steps...

"Hi Keith, its Alexis."

"Hey, Alex, what's up?" he asked.

"I need to get away from my parents for the night, they are fighting. Do you mind if I stay over your place?"

"Sure, no problem. You are always welcome here, but you know that your sister is away though, right?" he replied.

"Yeah, I know. I just really need to get out. Is that ok? If it's a problem I could just..."

"Yeah, no problem. If you don't mind, I don't mind," he interrupted. "What time do you think you'll come by?"

"Probably soon since I can't stand these two anymore."

"Sorry about that. Well, forget about them. I wasn't looking forward to eating alone tonight anyway. I'll make dinner for two instead of one if you want to eat here."

"That sounds perfect. I'll see you soon," I replied.

"Great. I'll be home in about 30 minutes. So come by anytime after that. I'm looking forward to the company."

He always made me feel welcome and comfortable. There was something about his voice that was soothing. I really started to feel like this was going to happen. My imagination was going wild. I realized I was starting to get wet. If things went well, I knew lubrication was not going to be a problem.

I quickly started to put my things together. I stripped naked to look in the mirror one last time. I looked really hot. My long black hair hung down over my perky B-cup breasts. I had pretty nice curves back then too and the lack of hair between my legs looked great. My legs looked great also, glistening from a fresh shave. I had tanned a few times and was a nice golden brown color. I was looking the best I possibly could and was trying to feel as confident as I could although still very nervous. I almost started to touch myself right there, but I wanted my only orgasms to come later that night, so I refrained. I knew the anticipation would only make it better later anyway.

I put one of my sexiest thongs on, the ones I would wear to bed, and then got dressed in some comfortable jeans and a t-shirt. I finished packing my bag with some sexy, but not too sexy, PJs and overnight stuff then left.

The 15 minute ride there seemed like it took forever. My mind was racing. I wanted things to work out so badly. I wanted to know what it would be like to feel him close to me so badly. When I arrived he opened the door and was clean shaven. He was usually scruffy. My mind continued to race. Did he shave for me? He was also already changed from work and looked like he had taken a shower. Was he anticipating something? Was this a good sign? My senses were heightened and I was overanalyzing everything. Dinner was still cooking, so I went into the kitchen with him to help, but mostly to distract myself from my thoughts.

I saw that he had opened a bottle of wine, another good sign? Even if it wasn't, I needed some alcohol to kill some of my nerves. He noticed me looking at the bottle.

"Go ahead and pour yourself a glass," he said. "Pour me one too while you're at it."

We began to drink and talk about different things as we prepared dinner. He asked about my parents. I asked about his work. Both subjects neither of us wanted to really talk about so we went on to other topics.

When dinner was finally ready we sat down to eat where we talked and drank more. I didn't know if it was my imagination or not, but we were making good eye contact. Everything was getting me excited. I felt like I was beaming "I want you so bad" through my eyes to his. I wasn't sure if he was picking up on it. Weeks of anticipation, day dreaming, and fantasizing were coming to fruition and it was driving me a little insane with lust. Something that had started as a tiny seed of an idea in my head, one that I at first tried to push away, had grown into a monster of lust. It felt so good to want someone so bad and to be so close to having him. I had not felt that in a long time.

We finished dinner and cleaned up. We both went upstairs to change into PJs. I put on my semi-sexy PJs and checked how I looked in the mirror. They were a little too tight, but I wanted to show off my figure. I went downstairs to find him already there. I could see his eyes take in my entire body, but again I wasn't sure if this was my mind playing tricks on me or if it was real. It was only 9 PM by then, so we sat in the living room and talked more while we finished the bottle of wine left over from dinner.

I tried to sit close to him on the couch and make contact with him when appropriate without being too obvious. He seemed to be receptive. In my mind this was going great. It was the perfect build up to what I was hoping to be a really fun night.

It started to get late and although I could tell he was getting tired I could tell he didn't want to stop talking. If he knew what I had planned, I think he wouldn't have minded ending the conversation early and retiring to bed. But he didn't and I wanted to torture him a little. I thought I was doing a pretty good job of seducing him. I was fairly convinced that sex with me had to have crossed his mind at least once tonight. Heading to bed would squash that idea quickly hopefully making him want me more, if he wanted me at all at this point.

"I think I'm going to head up to bed," I said, "I have to be up early for work tomorrow. Thanks again for letting me stay over and thanks for talking. I really needed to get away."

He looked at me with a bit of a sad face, which I don't think he realized he was making, and reluctantly said, "No problem. You know you are always welcome here."

I could see the disappointment in his face, which was definitely working in my favor. I was pretty sure I had him. You always want what you can't have. I know that made me want him more. We walked upstairs together and he made sure I had everything I needed for my morning shower. I gave him a hug to make contact one last time and thanked him again. He then went to his room and I went to the guest room. I sat in there for about ten minutes before building up enough courage to make my biggest move of the night.

I opened the door to the guest room and walked down the hall to his room. It felt like I stood in front of his door for ages. My heart was racing faster than ever. This was it. I took a deep breath and finally knocked on the door.

Nothing...

My heart was beating out of my chest now. Did he not hear me? Was he sleeping already? Was he ignoring me? I knocked again.

After a brief pause, I heard "It's open." I opened the door and stuck my head in.

Keith was lying in bed with the lights out. The clock on the nightstand threw a little light into the room. I could see his silhouette. "What's up?" he asked.

I could tell from his voice that he hadn't fallen asleep yet. At this point I realized that I didn't have an answer. I hadn't really planned this part. I had fantasized about how it might happen, but fantasy and reality are always different. Quickly, without thinking, I just blurted out, "I don't feel like being alone right now. Would you mind if I slept in here?" As it came out of my mouth I felt like I blew the whole night. How obvious was that?!

There was what seemed in my mind to be a long, uncomfortable silence. I started to feel stupid and I was about to open my mouth to say "never mind" when Keith said, "Umm, sure if you want to." He seemed a little dumbfounded, but I didn't say anything in response for fear of saying something stupid again. Instead I just closed the door and quickly walked towards the bed. I climbed into bed deliberately going over him and brushing by his legs on my way to the other side of the bed instead of walking around.

I thought my heart was going to explode. I felt like this was my first time all over again, but better because I knew how good it could be. I wasn't completely clueless this time. The excited nervousness was almost too much. I was so aroused. Keith had to have gotten the hint by now, I was sure of it. I could hear he was breathing heavier than normal and I felt like I was so wet I started to wonder if he could subconsciously catch the scent.

I pulled the covers over myself and lied down close to him. He rolled over to face me. My back was to him.

"Is everything ok?" he said. He reached out his hand and put it on my back.

I tried to calm down and said, "Yeah, I just don't want to be alone tonight."

"Ok, just relax and try to fall asleep," he replied. After a long pause, he started to massage my back. I was going nuts inside and I had to imagine he was too. I tried to relax and just let him massage my back, so I closed my eyes and concentrated on the feeling of him touching me. His touch was soothing and I did start to relax. As he continued to massage my back, I slowly shimmied closer to him an inch at a time. I was breathing heavily now and so was he. After a while, I imagine since I didn't protest, his confidence increased and his hands began to wander beyond my back. He was making occasional low sweeps down to my lower back and over my side to the sides of my breasts. It felt so good. I sighed lightly to convey my approval.