by YKN4949
I really enjoyed reading this story, and I loved the set up and progression of the story and how you approached it from Ash's point-of-view. Have you considered writing another chapter? Perhaps you could continue the story from Riley's point-of-view? Or would you consider writing the story of the double blind date from Riley's perspective?
Oh my gosh! What an amazing story. This is perfect in so many ways. Please continue writing. I would buy your work if you sold it!
I can't count how many times i've read this story and I always come away with a feeling of awe at how wonderful it is. I wish there were a second chapter.
"there was something naughty about licking Riley's sex from her own tongue that made me feel bad in all the right ways"
That's just hot!
I loved it! I've read this story 3 times and enjoyed it more every time. I love slow building romance stories. I also like stories about women who didn't realise their attraction to other women. I guess it strikes a chord with me. I'd love to read more stories like this from you, or possibility a continuation of this one. Many thanks and much love.
You have a great sense of flow to your writing. I wasn't at all expecting to read the whole thing but you really drew me in with just a few paragraphs. I admire your attention to detail and eloquence in the dialogue, Ash's inner monologue, and the sex scenes. And I know you said the proofreading was minor to you, but I really think you should take more care. I loved the story, but it was a bit hard to understand some things because of the errors. I totally get what you mean about wanting to send out stories quicker, I'm the same, but the quality of the story is also important.
Couldn't wait to get to the end, didn't want the end to come, 🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹
Perfect 10 despite the spelling errors 😍
Abi xxx
Great storytelling, funny, fucking hot, just the right amount of detail took me right into the moment. More!
I love the characters and the depth to them! Thank you for sharing.
Very well written story. The build up and character development definitely was worth while. The self exploration and discovery, leading into the final chapters made the the climax even better. Even the final chapter, waking up together the next morning and then the final close to the story were very well done! Easily one the top 5 stories I have read on this site, even with the spelling errors.
Well done...it didn't really even seem like pornography (as you call your work.) It was a VERY well written story that i really enjoyed...one of the best! Thanks for posting!
Really shows how it takes a person a while to realize their true sexuality.
I personally think the length was fine, I love the build up which I think you did very well. This the first story I read from you and I am hooked. I can't wait to read the rest. Thank you for sharing.
I will say the story was a bit lengthy with their inner turmoils happening; however, I really liked how they discovered their true selves through each other. It was great to see how a connection between two strangers can change their lives. I also appreciated how it wasn't a happily ever after, we'll spend the next 40 years with each other type of ending that is very unrealistic. I will definitely read more of your work.
This is so far one of the very best stories I have read on Literotica (and that is saying something!) Keep up the good work!
The story was good - very good -with an unusual theme: Well Crafted. The erotic part/s were also good. .
A bit Long Winded.
Great story. Loved your sentence structure. The plot was also great. It was so touching that their friends seemed to have known what they really needed. I would love to read a sequel.
According to the Supreme Court pornography is hard to define but we know it when we see it. This story(double blind date) speaks of discovery and eventual knowledge about one's self. I thought of Henry Miller and other authors who insist on honesty in all things even though the reveal may lessen the acceptance of general readers. That moments of self awareness can cause such discomfort,among other things, has insight and the feel of truth. At least in my case you managed to force an old pornohound to read and reflect. Good job and LOVED the story.
This needs a follow up... but not a short one.. hopefully itll include, doubts n fears, but ur the writer not me.
This story "CLEARLY and OBVIOUSLY" I reapeat " CLEARY and OBVIOUSLY!!!" need to continue.... THIS NEEDS A FUCKING FOLLOW!!! Sequel pls...
Great story I love the revaluation of someone's true desires which had been repressed!
What a fun story of personal discovery! A little tragic, a little nostalgic and a whole lot of fun. This story has so much going for it that it's nearly impossible to assemble all the positives into a coherent list. Even Eric, "the man" of the story proves to be a perceptive, likeable character and he never really appears in the narrative beyond a background character. I am truly, truly impressed.
I totally loved the story. The passion, the details, back story ect...
I will definitely read your other work.
Thanks.
T.
First time commenting on a story. Absolutely loved this. It might have been somewhat predictable, but my God was it enjoyable to read. All the little details, the backstories, the differences in personality...it made the characters believable in a way that most stories on this site rarely do. Like most people I check on this site looking for porn stories, so it's a very pleasant surprise to come across a story that has a lot more depth and emotion than the norm. Looking forward to reading more of your material.
Wow!!! She went from straight to dyke in about 1 hour. Sorry but the story lost me there. Especially because it was such predictable fiction. Not only would just about every woman get up and leave after the "joke", but would probably go home argue with Kim and then come to grips with it. Even if she had stayed, I just don't see her falling into bed immediately. She was there to meet a man. Those were her thought processes when she arrived. So you expect me to believe a very conservative "straight" woman beds another woman in one night with NO previous conscious thoughts of being gay or experimentation? Sorry you write well, make it believable
After reading one of your lesbian stories, I immediately fell in love with it. Which is why I then looked for another one the you wrote. I now realize I enjoy erotic and more emotional stories, rather than the super rough sex stories that some people write. Keep up the amazing work!
The thing I love about your stories is that you not only go into the romance part of the tale, but that you make the sex seem more believable than so many. I can only take so much of the OOOOHHHHHHH, Put your ramrod hard cock into my steaming love channel. As if anyone having sex really talks like that. And the romance, and the beautiful descriptions of their lovemaking are second to none. I am a new devoted follower of yours. Well done.
With two of your stories absorbed, I acknowledge with conviction, you are a skillful wordsmith :-) On the surface it would seem that you write from experience rather than imagination albeit desire and imagination can result in literary genius. In my humble opinion, the single element that would significantly enhance your work would be attention to detail and clerical corrections. The difference between orgasm and ho hum is a misspelled word. Kudos ! ! !
This story both made me very angry (at Kim and Eric for deliberately not setting up the blind date for Male-Female) and happy (that it all worked out in the end). At first, I was with Ash, being very pissed at Kim because she *presumed* all on her own to force the lesbian date. It would have been more polite if Kim had at least talked to Ash instead of making a lucky guess.
A really great read. I love the longer more romantic stories. I would ignore 3smokinguns the story was good enough to ignore any errors.
I loved it. When you read porn and care about the characters you know you've read a good one. I actually had tears a couple of times.
That was one good story. I had fun reading it. It had everything that was really interesting. The story, the characters, the build up and the emotions of having to come out yourself. Thank you for the hot sex and story :)
Such a great read. Keep it up. My only comment is editing more, but I get where you're coming from about not caring too much about it. Still an amazing story.
I loved this story. You write very well, but I would suggest you edit a bit more. Not because its not ok to make mistakes, but because sometimes the errors make the flow a little bumpy. It just helps it read smoother, if that makes sense. Otherwise, I was absolutely hooked reading this. I'll definitely be checking out your other stories!
Thank you for the best story I read in a long time . I loved every bit of it wow. I think you should write some books and make some money of it . Also if you write books you will be able to get older readers that don't use the internet. Please write a lot morecant wait to read more from you. Thank you
Great story ! Wonderful pacing and the characters really come through. I would edit one more time. Keep writing rather you edit or not ...thank you. The sex was really stimulating. 😋
If you want to read my other stories, go to the top of this story and click on my blue user name (ykn4949). That will take you to my profile. Click on the "stories" tab. All my stories will be listed there.
Glad you liked my story! Keep me posted on what you think of the others.
It's so hard to find stories with an actual STORY in them, rather than just sex (I still like the sex, don't get me wrong). This had a great development of characters and an amazing story in general!!! Thank you so much for writing this! Also, how can I find more of your stories? Can the next person who comments let me know? Thanks!
I liked the other stories you wrote, but I liked this the most.
Many thanks for writing such a wonderful story.
I do hope to read more stories written by you.
This was a random discovery for me & what a lovely 'find' it was. There are some exceptional stories about Lesbian relationships & self discovery - yours is among that group of well written prose.
Thanks for a carefully crafted set of characters that presented a realistic vision of the struggles, joys, pitfalls & heartbreaks one encounters throughout life.
BTW - the sex was hot & realistic.
T
The hell with some spelling/incorrect English!...you are right, it's free erotic porn written by someone that happens to be AWESOME at it! So keep writing, I really enjoy it!
Please keep writing. Need more stories of this quality.
This was not just a great story this was a beautiful story
and very well written I loved the characters
you just wanted them both to find happiness
I do hope you write a follow up so we can find out how there relationship
develops
but most of all please keep writing great stories
and thanks again for this one
Lovely story. And very hot. I'd love a sequel. To find out Kim's reaction to the date's success. The characters growth and how their relationship grows or fails etc. Well done on a thoroughly engaging, hot and well written story.
It's hard to build up to the climax, instead of jumping right into it like a lot of stories do. It makes it so much hotter and intense when it finally happens, and you can almost feel the whole body orgasm as you read this. Was it long? Yes but I enjoyed every word as I ached for more. Worth the length.
Story was absolutely amazing. Very well done. Love to see more.
SB
Thank you so much for this story brilliantly told. The give and take between Ash and Riley seemed so natural and captivating for the reader. The lovemaking scenes were scorchingly hot and very sweet at the same time. The personalities of these ladies, so well developed, gave the story real depth and made the reader root for them. At least I did. I agree with another comment that this would make a wonderful screenplay. Thank you again for a sweet, beautiful story that I read a few times and shall read again.
I absolutely love this story. The writing was elegant and the sex was awesome. I especially liked the character development. Great work!
One of the stories I myself have read several times. It is indeed exquisite!!!
,,, and I feel I owe you an apology for denying you the courtesy of an encouraging comment before now. Forgive me. I'm usually sort of lost in the afterglow immediately after reading and don't feel competent to make coherent comments. This time, out of respect for your work, I made a note to myself to be sure I came back to comment.
This was, much more than a story about sex, a story of self-discovery. And more than that, a love story (not just between Ash and Riley, but also between Ash, Riley and their deviously caring friends). And so well-written! I hope you see how easily it could be turned into a screenplay for an adventurous producer.
Like some others, I noted the frequent inappropriate verb tenses and other typographical issues that are endemic to stories that fly quickly from your imagination to paper. These sorts of error ordinarily bother me a great deal and interfere with my enjoyment, but I found them minimally distracting only because the story was so appealing and made so much sense. On a lesser story, that might have ruined it for me, but not with this skillfully crafted, heartfelt story.
Thank you for several wonderful afternoons.
What a lovely story. You have such a wonderfully descriptive style...not just the sex (which was highly erotic) but even the settings; the restaurant, Riley's apartment, etc. You should be writing screenplays. Thank you for a great read!
I don't have any friends as kind and empathetic as Kim and Eric, the story brought out many emotions for me and I really enjoyed reading it.
You definitely nailed the emotional part. There were tears on my lashes when Ash suddenly realizes she had deep feelings for Kim. I've never felt like that but as I read it, I was in the moment with her feeling that gut punch. You could feel the dynamic of the friendship of Ash, Kim, and Eric and also the way Riley felt about her family and friends.
I was definitely curious how you were going to explain Riley's presence on the date and the resolution you brought there was good. Also, the timing of how the story comes together, each piece, each question answered when it should be. You even wrapped it up there in the end with the total spent for the date. Nice!
This may be some of your finest work. The buildup was perfect. A lot of times, a follow on story would be great but I am not sure here. I think this said it all and the ending was also perfect. So why mess with perfection......
Thank you.
P. S. (I am bookmarking this one)
A brilliantly contrived story that flows very well! The details easily brought out the realism of the engaging characters and original storyline!
Your imagination overwhelms! Wonderful character development woven into the story.
Loved it. Well written, great build up, nicely concluded.
an outstanding story , one of the best I have read on here. Thank you
I almost never comment on these stories and I've read a lot of them, but speaking as a straight guy, the evolution of Ash's thought seemed believable and very nicely expressed. The almost-soliloquy at the end was a perfect final touch. Some helpful insights into our fellow-men and women. Good job.
...is one night stand sex. I would have preferred these very likable characters to have been sober and better acquainted when they had their first sex. (You adequately explained why this probably would not be one night stand sex and why they did it this way, so please take this comment as not about your craftsmanship, but about what I look for in a romance.)
I look forward to reading your other stories.
Thank you for sharing your story. It was hot, sexy, loving, and eye-opening! Loved it very much. ❤️
We'll written, great story line. Discovery combined with romance. Not porno but excellent sex. More like this please!
This was absolutely beautiful, but also funny and cute. Keep up the good work. :)
This is by far my favorite story on this site so far! These characters are so deep and real, it only made every other aspect of this amazing work so much more dynamic. I would love to read a sequel.
lovely.
It was passionate, and real, and confusing, and wonderful, and sexy, and you wrote it so well, with such delicious dialogue and agonizing narration. I am undone by the compelling beauty of this story.
Thank you.
Honestly, this part, as mild as it can be, was the hook that pulled me completely in.
"she reached her right hand up and snaked it around the back of my neck. I felt her fingers slide through my hair and her palm felt warm against my skin. Soon the pads of her finger draped across my spine and she pulled me in towards her."
Every time I read that I shiver.
This is one of the few stories I've read on this site that I reflect on when I come up with a top ten list. Also, it makes me wish I could write. Thanks for sharing.
I thoroughly enjoyed this. The story would have stood on its own even without the (insert positive adjective) sex scene!
In every aspect this story is amazing. From the concept to the way the characters unfolded in their discovery for each other and (most importantly, themselves). I am still blown away by how very well written it was. Every emotion was given such an explicit amount of description, so much so that the reader can't help but feel what the characters feel. I am looking forward to a sequel! I think everyone on this forum wants it.
The level of sophistication in your writing is beyond compare, coupled with the flow of humor made everything so natural and a pleasure to read. Just when I think I have found a "favorite" story, something else comes along. However, I doubt anything will surpass the quality of this work. Great job!
I really liked this story and have no doubt that I'll revisit it. Hopefully, you'll give us more of Ash and Riley.
Keep coming back to this story and rereading it. Its a great story. Please is there gonna be a sequel
I was surfing and stumbled upon this story. I thought that it started out slow but after reading it I could understand why. It was a good story especially how they found each other and weren't really looking for a chance encounter. Keep on writing and I'll be looking for more
LOL. Betsey
I identify so much with Ash especially, this story... Yes, yes, thank you.
Loved it, have read it a couple times now. I'm sure I'll be back to do so again. Great story!
I love the build-up in this story and the idea that both women had buried their feelings about their sexuality. Please keep on writing, we can work round the typos!
This is the second time I've read this story and it was as good as I remember it being. I just love the build up, self realization, and passion that you included in the story. The intimate parts were so sweet and it had me tingling all over;)
It kinda feels as though 7 pages wasn't even enough cause the story was that good.
I'm glad I stumbled upon this submission, and thanks for posting it.
A well paced story with injections of humor that kept me smiling and keen to read on. A damn good read and worth all five stars. Thank you so much for taking the time to not only write this but post it as well, pat yourself on the back, a truly amazing story.
You have a very real talent; your story is well written full of feeling, emotion and understanding. Thank You for sharing with us.
these are the stories that I look for and so seldom find . well written and describing feelings that we can all relate to , to take seven pages on one dinner date is very commendable , the sex can sometimes be same old same old , but you again put just the right ammount of feeling into it . in total an awsome story and very well done
tale of self realization with a happy ending (the ending sort that I am addicted to by the way). Thoroughly enjoyed reading this...time well spent - thanks!