Driving in Snow Ch. 02

The music started. Her hips undulated, her cheeks moved like some crazy binary star, circling each other. She bent forward and the binary star was circling something else. It was not a pussy, certainly not a cunt, not even a honeypot. It was yoni, it was the sacred spot. It was her sacred spot, it was more than that , it was the sacred spot of the universe. It was the yoni of the universe. Her labia were large, engorged, red, glistening with natural lubricant. She turned to face me and again I was captured by her eyes. She and I were the whole universe and she danced, and she danced. The music stopped and she froze, one hand held over her head, the other at her side, like some incredible sculpture, beautiful beyond words. The coin belt low on her hips. With liquid eyes, with liquid fire.

Again the music started and the perfect dance continued. I watched her eyes, Part of me wanted to watch her hips, watch her breasts, watch the golden curls of her pubic patch, watch her belly, watch her navel, watch her hair, watch her yoni but instead I watched her eyes, her liquid eyes, her liquid fire. We were merging into one being. We were one being.

Then the music stopped. She fell to the floor in a heap. Samantha stopped purring, hopped down and walked off, tail straight up, tip crooked over. Mary stopped the music before the next band began. I reached down to help her stand but she wordlessly asked for her robe, somehow I knew she wanted her robe because she was now naked and she did not want to be seen naked. I walked over and picked up her robe and placed it over her shoulders. She smiled up at me as a thank you. I helped her up.

We hugged. I whispered to her that that was the most beautiful dance I had ever seen, that that was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

She said to me: "I need to be alone for a few minutes to pull myself together. Meet me in the den in twenty minutes."

I responded: "Most certainly."

Barbara started to leave the room, turned and said: "Mom, you were right, I tried this and something extraordinary and wonderful did happen." She left the room.

The rest of the room came into focus and I noticed that Mary had a calm smile on her face, while Ann had tears running down her cheeks. I noticed something else too. I was not at all aroused during the dance but now I was developing an incredible erection. I was harder now than I ever remembered being in my life. My pants were really tented out. There was no hiding it.

Ann took me by the hand and lead me to the downstairs bathroom, closed the door, dropped her pants and said: "We don't have time to really make love but I need you inside me desperately right now so could you give me twenty strokes." I was confused, she repeated: 'Twenty strokes, in and out twenty times, Please give me twenty strokes." She turned and bent over the vanity with her legs spread. I found myself sliding in and out of her, counting the strokes and I pulled out after twenty. It was a very weird and somehow wonderful experience. The telepathic link reformed and continued after I had withdrawn.

We found ourselves wordlessly sharing a sense of awe at Barbara's dance via the telepathic path. This morphed into love between us. We held it for several minutes.

We both knew we could maintain the link indefinitely or turn it off at any time. We both also knew it was proper to turn it off before I went to meet Barbara.

I entered the den right on time and sat down next to Barbara. We sat silently for several minutes with me holding one of her hands in both of mine. Eventually she said: "I can't dance like that, I just can't. I don't know how I did it. I don't know where it came from but I'm sure glad that it did. Do you know where it came from?"

I suggested two possibilities: "It might be some form of past life memory or your higher self at some level anywhere from soul all the way to the cosmic consciousness."

She replied: "I'm aware of several past lives where I was a dancer, but I don't believe that is where this came from."

She paused, then said: "No definitely not a past life. It is the universal wisdom, but I've never experienced it like that before. My normal experience of the universal wisdom is as ideas, usually very abstract ideas, not as physical behaviors. I never thought of the universal wisdom as caring about something like dancing, especially belly dancing."

I responded: "We will talk of the 'dance of the spheres' or of Shiva as the 'Cosmic Dancer,' but at another level the dance you were dancing was expressing love in a profound and beautiful way and I think that is a central theme of the universal wisdom."

She smiled, then nodded.

I then said: "I've had some experiences that were a little bit like yours, just not nearly as intense, but what you experienced seems very special. Whatever it was you held me in your spell, the room, indeed the whole universe collapsed into just the two of us, and the two of us into one, in a wonderful, even magical way."

She agreed: "Through most of the dance it was really just the two of us and you were sending me so much love that I was floating in it, swimming in it, becoming it. Mom wanted me to undress in stages like I actually ended up doing and I told her she was crazy, that no way would I do a strip tease. Belly dancing isn't supposed to be like that anyway. How dare she even suggest such a thing. She argued that it wasn't a strip tease, it was like your bit last night where you talked about the difference between drinking wine to get smashed and drinking wine in the communion. But I would not budge and finally agreed to remove just the bikini top since you had already seen my ... er boobs this morning. I just found myself dropping the rest, my mind had nothing to do with it. I still can't believe that I was dancing naked and feeling so happy, ... no that's not right, ecstatic, ecstatic and enraptured, ecstatic, enraptured and loved, totally loved. More than that, my personality was experiencing connection with you but also with my higher self in a way that I have never experienced before. Not only was I experiencing love, I was love, pure love. "

I said: "We did not have intercourse but we certainly did share the Sacred fire. The loving energy I was sending you was not coming from my personality but through my personality from some very high place. This love was not flowing to you alone, some was going to Ann and your mother plus some to Cindy, as well as my wife, my first love, my first lover, the first girl that I dated and somebody else I haven't identified. I have tried sending loving energy before but I don't remember love flowing through me like that ever before in my life, and I wasn't trying. It was just happening and now I feel that my heart is overflowing with love."

She moved to me and we entered each others arms and hugged and hugged. We kissed. A long lingering kiss, gentle but passionate below the surface. I pointed out to her: "That you were nude, not naked. Naked is being uncomfortable about being undressed while nude is being comfortably unclothed. But immediately after the dance you went to being naked. Can you tell me what happened then?"

She thought for a moment: "I went from a wonderful space to a very confused one. I'm still not sure what was happening. I really was not embarrassed at you seeing me, it was more the whole situation and finding that I didn't know who I was anymore. A whole lot is going on inside me right now. You are the first man to kiss me, the first to see me belly dance, as well as the first to see me nak, er, nude. In some crazy way I now feel embarrassed wearing clothing around you."

She pulled back slightly and slid her robe off of her shoulders. We hugged and kissed gently as her exquisite orbs pressed into my chest.

We were very relaxed and shortly we were dozing in each others arms.

Ann called to us asking if we wanted some popcorn. We said yes and Barb pulled up her robe and we walked to the kitchen.

After the popcorn Cindy went back to her reading. Whenever she had the chance she was sitting reading. First it was the Tantra books then my writings. Later she would ask me if I had anything else for her to read and I gave her permission to check out the books in my car.

Barbara said that she wanted to meditate for a while. I understood - I kissed her hand and bowed to her.

Mary pointed out the door opposite the upstairs bathroom was their guest bedroom and said that I might want to put my suitcases in there and use that room if I needed a nap or just some alone time. I moved my suitcases and took a nap. Samantha wandered in and curled up next to me.

Just before going to sleep I found myself thinking about Hilbert's mathematics and its application to quantum physics. I understood it. What a neat way to learn higher math. If it ever catches on the colleges will be in trouble. I realized that Ann was also using mathematics which was well past Hilbert's. At the time those extensions seemed obvious and trivial but I would come to realize later that this was only because I understood them so thoroughly.

I also understood her new method and the explanatory power of it. Her method was truly elegant but the math necessary for it was very sophisticated. That math will be necessary to understanding the implications of her approach, and therefore I suspected most PhD. Physicists will have trouble, in spite of her beautiful explanations. This approach will lead to a number of interesting experiments and has some profound philosophical ramifications. Physics in general and Quantum physics in particular are going to be going through some significant changes.

I then found myself thinking about her inventions and how each could be a technological revolution on its own but how each would probably require years of development before reaching market as products,

Interconnections

After my nap I started reading Ann's other book. She titled the work: "Interconnections." I started with the lifetime she had book-marked. I concluded that she may well be right. My intuition was more definite - This was my knight lifetime.

I saved her life in the knight lifetime. Now she saved mine. The law of karma works in positive ways too.

This book described fifty one lifetimes. The descriptions tended to run from one to five pages per lifetime, with one lifetime that went nineteen pages.

This was a fascinating read, amazingly well written. It was far more than a recitation of facts. Everyone seemed very real, I found myself feeling for the plight of many in the stories. She wrote it in a way where I just wanted to have compassion for everyone involved. She managed to inject a great deal of wry humor into the work. I found myself bursting out laughing several times as I read this.

I thought: "This book is definitely publishable and if she did I could see it on the best seller lists."

I would later make that comment to Ann who laughed and said that it was already in the works. She had found a publisher with the aid of a friend of Dr. Schmidt. It should be in bookstores in about four months. She said that she was publishing it under the pseudonym of 'Annie Wilson.'

She tended to describe in detail the other people she/he was interacting with. At the end she had a cross reference of twenty two other souls which showed up repeatedly. One who she named 'Lucy' was in over forty of them. Another who she called 'Samuel' was in over thirty. Barbara was in seventeen. 'Jacob' was in fifteen. 'Jacob' was the knight. So apparently I am her Jacob. I looked up the 'Jacob' lifetimes and found three that I already knew about. I also found that our interactions in all of the recent lifetimes were more dharmic than karmic, more cooperative and loving than hostile or violent. I also noted that both Ann and 'Jacob' were not always nice people. It seems that we do try it all.

I tried calling my wife. There was no answer. I left a short message.

I used Ann's computer to send a long e-mail to my wife describing my journey here. I attached "Interconnections," saying that I thought she would enjoy it.

I had just finished when Barbara came in, looking somewhat apprehensive.

She said: "I really don't know how to ask this. I've never imagined that I would ever ask a man this, but will you come to my bed tonight? Will you make me a woman? Can we share the sacred fire again?"

I replied: "I will be honored to." Then I kissed her.

She left looking happy, very happy.

I sat down to meditate and discovered something very interesting. I was not at all my normal self, I was being much more - my essence, maybe. I was aware of all my lives, not as memories of concrete events but as flavors. There was also an awareness of the bardo, the time between lives and the freedom from restraint in space and time of the bardo, as well as the need to be restrained in space and time in order to have action. It is all just so beautiful. I found myself thinking of the old Navajo chant:

"Beauty before me,

Beauty behind me,

Beauty to the left of me,

Beauty to the right of me,

Beauty above me,

Beauty below me,

I am on the pollen path."

I returned to counting my breath and all thoughts faded away. I just sat, in the moment, in the oneness, in the love. I found myself visualizing radiating light. What I was radiating was both love and chi.

Wednesday Dinner.

Just before dinner I saw Cindy returning from the barn with seven books: "Mindful Living," "A Mystics Introduction to Quantum Mechanics," three different translations of the "Tao Te Ching," the "Hua Hu Ching" and "The Art of Sensual Massage."

We gathered around the dinner table still talking about Barbara's dance. None of us could quite believe what had happened. Barbara questioned her mother about why she wanted her to do what she did and Mary explained that she had a vision that something really wonderful would happen. We all agreed it was that. Barbara asked me about what I meant by having had similar experiences.

I replied: "I think I misstated what I was thinking, or you misunderstood, if you thought I was saying mine were similar but I do have two that are worth noting. The first was during the question and answer part of my first spiritual talk. I found answers were coming out of my mouth that had not come from my mind. I was listening to the answer just like my audience. The second experience was watching the dawn one morning from my hot tub and doing an 'Om' mantra and finding I was doing it the way Zen monks practice twenty years to develop, with all the harmonics and sub-harmonics. I had never imagined that I could ever make those sounds."

At one point I asked Barbara why she belly danced.

She answered: "We were taught belly dancing as part of the cheerleading training and I found it to be a fun way to exercise, to stay limber. I never thought that I would ever perform, however. For me, it's also become a form of yoga."

The conversation continued.

Cindy was listening to the conversation in confusion and finally asked Barbara what exactly happened.

Barbara replied: "I danced nude."

Cindy screamed: "You What!?!"

Ann answered: "She danced nude and it was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen."

This launched us into a discussion on nudity.

I said that like everything else we can use nudity as a bridge to God or as a wall against God and that the choice as always is ours. I admitted that I really don't know the Bible very well but the only reference to nudity that I knew of by Jesus was the gospel of Thomas verse 37 where he spoke in favor of it as a path to seeing God, which I interpret as a proclaiming of innocence.

I commented: "If we can get past the sexual connotation of nudity it can become a powerful symbol of both truth and freedom. Truth not just in the innocent sense of being unprotected as well as not hiding anything, but in a transcendent sense also. There is also a tremendous sense of freedom in being totally open, so there is courage here too. Personally, I find that I am most comfortable when I'm nude."

Barbara smiled and nodded.

Continuing: "It is also getting past class discriminations. Historically clothes were used to indicate social status as an aristocrat or clergyman as opposed to a peasant. Going nude would be rejecting those distinctions."

At one point I went looking for "The Prophet" on their bookcase to read his section on clothing, but it was not there. I now knew a gift for these people. A most loving gift for each of them.

The discussion ranged far and wide.

Later in the living room, with a roaring fire in the fireplace, we continued reading.

When we were heading for bed Cindy asked her mother for her heavy duty scissors. Mary got them for her.

Barbara.

Barb and I grabbed our bathrobes and went together into the bathroom. I shaved, we did our teeth and otherwise prepared for bed.

I found myself thinking: "This is a weird way to seduce a virgin, for a virgin to seduce me or for us to seduce each other - if seduction it is. We are acting more like an old married couple." Then I smiled as I realized: "Or, perhaps we are acting like newlyweds on our wedding night."

We hugged and kissed.

We undressed each other. I had a bit of trouble with her bra while she had trouble with my belt. We both laughed.

We hugged and kissed some more, lightly, playfully.

We showered together and we had a lot of fun soaping each other up. and she ground her massive mammaries into my back and later my chest. She loved my playing with them all slippery with soap.

As we finished in the bathroom I found that I had shifted from excitement to a profoundly calm and centered state and I commented to her that I felt very relaxed with her, very comfortable, as if we had been lovers for many years.

She replied: "I feel the same way and it's really strange since I am a virgin and while I know about the mechanics from sex ed class, I really think that there is a lot more to it than they taught us and thus I feel that I do not have any real idea about what we will soon be doing. I only know that I am with the right man and this is the right time."

We kissed, hugged, and both had huge smiles on our faces. We wore our bathrobes from the bathroom back to her bedroom but as soon as we shut the door behind us they were on the floor and we were in each other's arms again. We stood hugging and kissing for a long time before moving to the bed. On our way to bed she lit a candle.

We kissed for a while and then I started kissing and licking my way down her body, I nibbled on an earlobe, kissed my way down her neck and on to the valley between her mountains. I kissed my way up to one peak and licked, sucked, and lightly bit a nipple. She went wild with this. I gave the other one attention before kissing my way down to her navel. I poked my tongue into her naval and she reacted with a moan turning into giggles. I moved on.

As with Ann, Barbara needed a great deal of gentle stretching before she was ready for intercourse. As with Ann, she really enjoyed the activity.

When I finally was all the way inside she opened her eyes and stared into mine. Her eyes were the liquid fire again and I found myself merging into her soul just as my body was merging into hers. I held myself over her with my arms so that I could keep looking into her eyes, while our bodies just did what they did, our attention was elsewhere. She was breathing hard yet her expression was one of a majestic serenity, of bliss.

Again I felt waves of loving energy flowing through me, going to the same people as before. I still didn't have a clue about the extra person, my mystery girl.

We orgasmed together and it was the most intense orgasm in my memory but it was really an anti-climax compared to what would so inadequately be described as the merging and the bliss that was happening. I started to try to roll off of her but she held me saying: "I like you right where you are." She wrapped her legs around me tilting her hips so that I was in even deeper. I went to sleep on top of her. Eventually we spooned.